Aways the Almost is the book of trans joy I wish I had as a teenager.

Miles is messy, makes mistakes and is just trying his best.

He starts the new year with two goals in mind; beat his rival and win back his ex-boyfriend. A cute new boy in his class and a fake date to a Valentine’s day party just might derail his second goal.

The story has its ups and downs. Plenty of bad decisions are made. There are hurt feelings and heart break. I appreciated that no matter how difficult things got Miles would take the time to reflect on the situation and his own actions. He always took accountability and learned from his mistakes.

A cute high school romance with a side of classical music. I loved Always the Almost so much I bought a physical copy the day it came out.

Thank you Netgalley and St. Martin’s Press Wednesday Books for the opportunity to read and review Always the Almost.

Miles Jacobson has just come out as trans. After that happened, his straight boyfriend has broken up with him but Miles is convinced he can get him back and also Miles absolutely wants to beat his archenemy Cameron in this piano competition. But he also has to adapt and live his full trans boy life. Also, this new boy Eric is kind of cute, no?

I thought I would love this. So many people I know did. But this was a miss for me. I did like some parts. The piano competition and the new teacher storyline. The unapologetic trans part. And Eric was great true. I love him with all my heart. My problem was that Miles was often insufferable. Constantly thinking about his ex while he's dating someone new; calling his best friend hysterical when she was very justified in every reaction she had and things she said. (also calling someone hysterical is always sexist and really just no) And the selfishness he often showed. Also, I felt like the multiple cheating storylines were really glossed over and forgiven very very very easily. I cannot stand or forgive any kind of cheating and that really put me off. Also, you can't change someone's sexuality by sheer will. That first premise was a bit fucked and I did put it off as Miles being a stupid child but, after a while, it was one more thing to add to all the things that bothered me.
Basically, this had a lot of potential and some part were great but, in the end, too much stuff did not work for me.

I adored this book. Miles, the main character, is infinitely relatable as he tries to figure out life, high school, and how to beat his piano nemesis, and the supporting characters are excellent (his delightful, gentle boyfriend Eric, his fierce friends, and especially his even fiercer piano teacher). Miles is trans, gay, and a competitive pianist; although he faces some hard things, this book is overall full of music and full of joy. I recommend it to anyone who is trying to figure their life out (in high school or otherwise).

Thanks to Netgalley, the author, and the publisher for an earc in exchange for an honest review.

It is not a light read: there’s constant deadnaming, misgendering and transphobia. But there’s also trans joy, with the main character, Miles, trying to understand who he is and finding a boyfriend who sees him for who he is. Something else I really liked was the fact that Eric was also a little confused about his gender, even if we ended up not really seeing that being explored.

Most of the joy part, however, was in the first half of the book and all the drama that happened after kind of cancelled (in my opinion) all the good things we saw. Yes Miles and Eric get back together at the end but only in the last two chapters, which made it hard for me to go back to the same feeling of joy I felt at the beginning of the book.
In general, I just wished it had been less drama and a little bit more joy (especially considering how some of that drama had been totally unnecessary)

It was going to be a five star read, but I have to take a whole star away for all the cheating.
I was willing to try to understand why Miles kissed Shane back and forget about it, but then Paige also went and cheated on Rachel which was so incredibly stupid and unnecessary, especially after she already saw the consequences of Miles’ kiss. Why was that plot point even necessary??
I think, in the end, what really bothered me wasn't even the Miles-Shane-Eric drama. Yes it was complicated, yes it was still cheating, and it all could have been avoided if Miles just communicated with Eric, but Miles still hadn't meant for that to happen, he didn't actually want to cheat on Eric. Paige, however... she knew damn well what she was doing. And I think that all of this bothers me even more because in the preorder gifts for the book there are two artworks (one for each couple), but Paige and Rachel are not a couple at all and they disastrously break up because of the cheating, so seeing the pretty art of them shown around as if to trick you into thinking there is going to be a cute sapphic relationship when in reality they're just toxic... well it felt a little icky to me (and again, totally unnecessary).

A pretty good YA novel about friendship, love, transition, and talent. I think it's accurate to the confusion of adolescent romantic desires. It's definitely possible, possibly even common, for the desire to prove one's own desirability, or to show an ex what they're missing, to get in the way of new relationships and the potential for actual happiness—that doesn't mean it didn't drive me <em>absolutely crazy</em> how Eric was treated in this book, though!

This was a delightful quick read. A mix of showing the struggles of trans life but also trans joy. Thanks for the ARC!

I am having trouble decided my opinions on this. On the one hand, I think this has great rep that is really well written and all-encompassing. On the other hand, I found the narrative to be so excruciatingly annoying. I think this book is really brought down by just how insistent miles is in his obsession with Shane. It is never-ending. Even when Miles is with the love interest, who is lovely and much better for him than Shane, he is still obsessed with the idea of getting Shane to realize he still loves Miles. It was so irritating. I think if it had stopped like 30 or 40% of the way through, hell even if it lasted to the halfway mark, it would have been something that annoyed me that I could overlook. But this shit lasts until like 70%. It was so irritating. It also bothered me that Miles was refusing to listen to Shane when Shane expressed his sexuality. I get that it's because Miles has a lot of complicated feelings and just really wishes that Shane would still love him, but it left a bad taste.
I think this was a really important book for a lot of people, and I think Underhill is a very good writer, but this particular book was just wholly not for me.

wow. i just know this story will resonate with other trans and nonbinary readers in the same ways it has for me. with its messy characters, whom you still love despite it. with miles’ passion for piano, which emanates off the pages. with beautiful, but raw and realistic, teen trans-masc representation. all of it comes together to bring this beautiful little thing.

while i personally did not enjoy the two (2) piano lessons that i took as a child (no, we don’t count the middle school music class i took one semester), miles’ pure passion for his playing urged to find our hidden-away keyboard and just play. play what? who knows. and that’s what i really think shines through. while i can’t directly appreciate miles’ love for playing and classical music, i deeply understand his love and drive to be the best at something you love. putting your absolute whole-being into your discipline. (that was me with swimming for many years). i just love to read about someone passionate about something, niche or not. and this delivered in that aspect.

while a big focus was his piano playing, of course the rest of it was mainly about relationships, queerness, and what that means in high-school. and while, yes, like i mentioned, these characters are messy . it just made them feel like real teens i know and most probably used to be myself. it makes them feel real. they’re not perfect. they’re going to fuck it up sometimes. but they love and care about the people close to them and they just have to learn how to find ways to communicate their desires or concerns or whatnot. and these characters, they do… well, eventually.

do i personally wish there wasn’t any justification of cheating? absolutely. but it’s been done and it’s unfortunately how the events went down. but like i said, i’m glad these characters learn to move past it in their own ways, communicating their underlying causes. so, i’ll that take. and on an overall sense, it’s more acknowledgement than i see in most cis-hetero stories so… a win is a win.

anyways, that’s pretty much all i have to say about this lovely little story for now. oh, except, i love stefania and i want her to adopt me (i am rachel, she is me). okay, that’s all!

An extraordinarily charming book! I found the pacing really excellent, and I really enjoyed the writing style. The characters felt like the older teens that they are, without the prose feeling juvenile. I really flew through it.

I really felt for Miles as he tried to balance his identity with the usual teenage challenges of exes, school, and the piano competition. I saw in the author's note that the author really wanted this to be a book of queer and trans joy (which it is!) and therefore didn't go as heavily into the transphobia, which as a trans reader I really appreciate. While Miles had to face transphobia in the competition world, and struggles from his family members, it didn't fee at all like a drag-out grief fest. There is definitely a place in YA for the more difficult trans reads, but it was nice to just be.

If I have a criticism, it's that the side characters weren't as well-rounded as I would have liked, especially the love interest, Eric. The massive drama fest that happened at roughly 70% in was really jarring too, and I felt it could've been handled in a different way. Still, a joyful triumph of a book!

Adorable. A coming-of-age, finding yourself, joyful YA romance starring a trans boy, Miles, as he figures out who he is, how he can beat his piano recital nemesis, and how to discern what makes a good relationship (romantically and platonically). Miles is still hung up on his ex, who broke up with him when he came out as Miles. And at first I wanted to shake Miles so that he could see his own value, but thankfully, then a new kid, Eric, shows up and Miles realizes that there is a potential love interest in front of him who sees him for who he is. Oh and Miles has a new piano teacher who is forcing him to actually think about who he trulyis. But, youths are gonna youth, and things go sideways, but as the author states at the beginning of the book, this is a story about trans joy, and there's a happy ending.

I am a big fan of books that center so much joy, even when the realities of life come up. This one is just so sweet, and I really liked the ending. No spoilers, but it doesn't go completely to plan, and that felt even more true to life. There is so much to like about this story, from the plot to the characters to the piano-ing. It really is sweet, and I think it will brighten a lot of teen readers' lives. Yet another book I would have liked to be around when I was a teen myself!

Thanks to Netgalley and Wednesday Books for the e-ARC!

Always the Almost gave me the warm fuzzies. Eric had my whole heart. He was so wholesome and wonderful and exactly who Miles needed. I wish I knew people as persistent as Eric because he knew what he wanted and went after it. He and Miles also had mature conversations that were awkward, but necessary, so I loved how the author showed that teens are capable of handling more than we give them credit for sometimes . The author also did a great job at making me feel the emotions of the characters because I was so tense and anxious during Miles' first competition scene. I really love when characters are passionate about something, so reading about Miles' relationship with piano really made the book pop for me. And between the realistic characters and the messiness of Miles navigating himself and his friendships, this book was a delight to read.

Be still my heart, I dang loved this book. What an incredible story! I am perhaps a teensy bit biased as Miles, the wonderful main character, is from Wisconsin and so am I. (Miles is also something of a musical prodigy and I was in the high school marching band, which I’ve decided is basically the same thing.) Miles has also recently come out as trans and is dealing with a LOT – an ex-boyfriend who dumped him because he came out, fierce competition (and cybering bullying) from the regional piano competition where he always places second but that could mean a college scholarship if he wins, and parents who are having an okay-but-not-great reaction to his transition. Not to mention the ying and yang of relief for living as his authentic self and grief at the process and what he left behind. Enter Eric, the new guy at school who, y’all, is easy like Sunday morning. He and Miles begin fake dating (high five rom com trope!) but soon discover they have feelings for each other. Teenage angst and true love ensue.

What a treasure this book is. I think about what reading this book as a teen myself would have meant for me and I beam thinking about all the queer and trans kids out there who will see themselves so joyfully represented in print. So often the stories of LGBT+ characters are ones of trauma and pain, and while Miles does face struggles, there is so much joy and happiness in this book. In addition to important discussions of such themes as accepting folks as they are, the critical importance of being your authentic self, found family and the real meaning of friendship, and taking responsibility for your mistakes, there are also plenty of sweet and dopey moments (plus teen drama, y’all!), so YA romance book fans, you’ll also love this book.

Did Not Finish.

I admit I might not have been in the best mindset for Always the Almost.

Something early on really bothered me, and it was enough that I chose to quit and not finish. Miles has recently come out as trans (AFAB) and his cis-hetero boyfriend Shane recently broke up with him. That’s totally understandable; Shane consented to be in a heterosexual relationship. Miles thinks “I’m the same person I’ve always been on the inside,” and is determined to win Shane back.

It just….gave me a bad feeling. There’s nothing wrong with Shane not wanting to be in a relationship with Miles. He’s a straight man and Miles trying to change his mind felt very manipulative. Like Shane’s feelings don’t matter.

I was on the fence continuing Always the Almost when I saw content warnings of cheating, and I knew I was done. Not for me.

Oh My Goodness, I adored Always The Almost by Edward Underhill! A Queer Young Adult contemporary romance, a trans piano player and the boy who acceptance exactly as he is.

I honestly have zero complaints with this book. It's told in single person point of view which usually ends up being an issue for me, but Miles is a strong lead. While he has come out as trans, he is very much still trying to find himself and feel comfortable in his own skin. His goal of trying to win back his ex who broke up with him when he came out is very much on par with a sixteen-year-old mindset, so is the tendency to be wrapped up in ones self and act selfishly. Yet every step of the way his reactions are relatable even if the drama climax of the story hurt to read.

From the beginning I was invested in Mile's journey as a person and watching his relationships with his family and friends. It was heart lifting to watch Mile's grow confidence in himself and have it reflect in his piano performance. As for the romance aspect of the story, the moment Eric steps on the page I was absolutely smitten with him and the more Miles gets to know him the more I fell in love. He's completely supportive of Miles for everything he is and wants to be. I was hoping and praying that everything would work out for them at the end.

Always the Almost by Edward Underhill is a fantastic Queer YA contemporary romance filled with family, supportive friends, personal growth, trust, auditorium study sessions, ugly Christmas sweaters, locker notes, and a happy ending.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing this eARC.

Always the Almost follows trans teen Miles as he navigates school, family, friendship, romance, and a regional piano competition after coming out.

For me, one of the most important things in books about queer kids is that they feel like they are written from a place of love, and every page of Always the Almost was absolutely steeped in love and care. Though Miles encountered transphobia and homophobia, and though he struggled with loving and finding himself, it was clear that his story was written from a place of love — for Miles, and for the reader.

This book was lovely, and joyful, and even though I knew it would end happily, my heart still raced as Miles sat down at the piano for his performance at the Tri-State competition (seriously, my Apple Watch was like “hey your heart rate just randomly increased and we’re worried about you). I am so excited for the teens who will see themselves — and find themselves — in the pages of this book.

Miles Jacobson is trans. He is 16 years old and a pianist. He lives in Wisconsin.

Miles wants two things: to win back his ex, who broke up with him when he came out, and to beat Cameron Hart at the Tri-State Piano Competition. But when a new boy moves to town, things get shaken up and suddenly Miles is no longer sure what exactly he wants.

As a nonbinary pianist, this book felt in some ways like it was written for me. Although Miles and I have different pronouns and gender identities, although Miles lives in a less-accepting place than i do, and although Miles competes for piano and I just play for fun, I related to a lot of always the almost.

I related to the feeling of wearing a binder, the feeling of looking in the mirror and seeing a version of yourself that matches how you feel inside, the joy and euphoria that comes with the right clothes and presentation.

I related to the feeling of playing piano, the freedom that comes with your fingers pressing into the keys, the strength that comes with your fingers stretching out and slamming octaves, the creativity that comes with picking out the melody of a favorite song, the comfort that comes with your fingers playing a soothing, familiar melody.

I love that we’re beginning to see more books with trans characters. I love that we get to see trans characters in relationships with people who unequivocally accept them. I love that we get to see piano teachers and mentors who support trans teenagers. I love that we get to see trans characters who aren’t in big liberal cities. I love that we are able to have books like this one that show one of the many ways to be trans and gay.

Always The Almost is a beautiful, wholesome book about trans identity and music. It might just inspire you to pick piano back up ;)

Thank you to Netgalley for an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

I LOVED THIS BOOK. I jump at the chance to read any young adult book with trans rep and this did not disappoint. Even though I didn’t always love the choices he made 8 couldn’t help but root for him because I knew he was just doing his best. I loved his relationship with Eric and the diverse cast of characters was charming and entertaining.

“But just before the darkness goes too far––before the whole thing turns to tragedy––the sweetness returns. The music breathes and I breathe with it.”

What a heartwarming love letter to trans and queer joy!

This is a beautiful debut with important representation––so well written and with a cast of characters that are lovable, understanding, messy, and human; characters that are realistic.

I loved reading about Miles’ journey as he navigated his breakup, his transition, a new romance, and trying to find himself both in general and within music/piano. Setting the story during the leadup to a piano competition (with an intense piano teacher, too), an already stressful and heightened situation, was such a genius idea. The piano is an extension of Miles and every worry, fear, every moment of happiness and joy, is reflected in his piano playing. As someone who isn’t a musician but a huge fan, it’s always interesting to learn and read about music, and I just found it very lovely how interconnected and transformational playing the piano is for Miles. I wasn’t originally sold on his piano teacher, Stefania, originally, but she really saw Miles in a way none of the other characters did. She challenged him and became an integral part of his self-discovery, and I grew to really love and appreciate her as a character.

The friendships were beautiful as well. The love that Miles’ friends had for him was very palpable and sweet, and they wanted nothing more than to protect Miles at all costs (same). And, of course, Eric <3 my love.

I was surprised when I learned this was a debut. It’s so fleshed out. The writing style was very easy to jump into, and the characters were three-dimensional. This story is authentic and happy and lovely. Just an overall celebration of and love letter to queerness and being trans, and I love that this book exists.

Thank you to St. Martin's Press/Wednesday Books and NetGalley for this eARC!! (:

Always the Almost is about a trans boy, Miles, navigating life after his transition while also trying to practice for and win a big piano contest.

I thought this book was so charming and cute, and it is always SO nice to see trans/queer characters get a happy ending without something HORRIBLY tragic happening to them before they get there. Of course, Miles had his struggles, but it was normal relationship stuff instead of, like, someone close to him dying or something terrible like that. The characters were all so lovable, and I absolutely loved that there were hardly any straight characters (this is what I want to see!!).

One thing I super appreciated was the trans-specific relationship things that Miles goes through. Like, how does one navigate your ex-boyfriend not being into you anymore because he's not gay and it turns out you're a boy? I'm not trans myself, but I know that an impact seeing a character like you can have. While plot lines like that are becoming more common, I think it's so important for trans kids/teens to see themselves reflected in books (and media in general). This book was so cringey and funny and romantic, and it did a wonderful job (and keep in mind this is from a cis-woman's perspective so of course I could have missed something).

I will definitely be recommending this book!!

Always the Almost is a poignant examination of identity and love that will leave you feeling joyful and uplifted.

Miles Jacobson is finally living his life the way he sees himself—as a boy. As a concert pianist, he has one main goal—to beat his nemesis at the Midwest’s biggest classical piano competition. In his personal life, his goal is to win back his ex-boyfriend. When a new kid at school, Eric Mendez, shows Miles that he is perfect just the way he is, Miles still struggles with accepting himself. And he’ll have to decide whether he’s enough just as he is, or if he’s always the “almost.”

I loved everything about this story, from the writing and narrative, to the representation. I want to put this book in every adolescent’s hands. Author Edward Underhill does a fantastic job of creating a uniquely queer story that also taps into universal themes surrounding adolescence and self-perception. The characters are richly layered, and you feel their flaws and their mistakes just as deeply as their triumphs. There are times when you want to shake Miles and imbue him with more confidence, which makes the reading experience all the more immersive and real. And Eric is the kind of kid who you’d want your kid to emulate, or who you would have wanted to be friends with back in high school.

I really enjoyed this story, and can’t wait to read more from this author.

Thank you to Wednesday Books and NetGalley for generously providing me with an ARC in exchange for my honest review.