A must-read for every perfectionist who's terrified at the idea of losing control (guilty). This book is so necessary, especially for women who have been raised to do it all, be perfect at everything, and never complain. Thank you to the publisher for this ARC.

This was interesting. I was intrigued by reading about the different types of perfectionists. I'm not really sure, however, that the book gave me any solid techniques for dealing with my perfectionism.

The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan Schafler is a helpful non-fiction guide for perfectionists. Schafler challenges perfectionists to see their perfectionist tendencies as a blessing and not a curse. She identifies five different types of perfectionists and gives useful advice for each type. I highlighted so many different thoughts in this book. Here's one: "What matters is that you're living your life according to your values. There's no point in comparing yourself to others because one, you don't know what's going on in someone else's private world. And two, no one has the exact same set of values as you do. Enacting your power looks like compassionately telling the part of yourself that wants to keep your world small the following message: What hurts me more than falling is not being able to be my full self." Highly recommend this book to any and all perfectionists. There are so many great thoughts to ponder here. Thanks to NetGalley for the free digital review copy. All opinions are my own.

I loved this book so much! It is an amazing resource for all the perfectionists out there who are ready for a change. I loved the author’s tone and approach to the topic. It has been life changing for me, thank you!

I liked this! It starts off incredibly strong, the first half redefining the way in which perfectionism should be considered and challenging readers to stop trying to “fix” themselves of perfectionism, to stop chasing balance if they don’t actually crave balance. I loved the differing types of perfectionists and the examples of how each would perform in different environments. That being said, the back end of the book started to lose me. It felt like the author was told she had to provide tips and tricks even when she clearly didn’t have nor want to provide examples. Still overall really good though and would recommend!

A good book that is targeted towards those who feel they might need it, so my typical warnings about the audience don't feel like they should apply. Full of solid advice, the book runs the same risks as anything in its genre, a bit of repetition and overstaying its welcome for the thicker headed that might be reading it.

Thank you to Netgalley and the author for a chance with this title.

Thank you to NetGalley and to Portfolio for making an advance copy available for curious readers. I found much of value in this book, as my numerous underlinings and highlights show. I’ve already recommended it to others.

I think Schafler offers a new take on perfectionism, if not necessarily on self-esteem and identity. The most concise summary is her words early in the book, “Perfectionism is a phenomenon, not a disorder.” I especially appreciate the gendered lens of analysis and wish it had been even more focused.

I also wish the book had been better edited; it’s easily 25% too long, and the second half is better than the first.

Rating : 5 out of 5
Blurbs :

We’ve been looking at perfectionism all wrong. As psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at Google Katherine Morgan Schafler argues in The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control, you don’t have to stop being a perfectionist to be healthy. For women who are sick of being given the generic advice to “find balance,” a new approach has arrived.

Which of the five types of perfectionist are you? Classic, intense, Parisian, messy, or procrastinator? As you identify your unique perfectionist profile, you'll learn how to manage each form of perfectionism to work for you, not against you. Beyond managing it, you'll learn how to embrace and even enjoy your perfectionism. Yes, enjoy!

Full of stories and brimming with humor, empathy, and depth, this book is a love letter to the ambitious, high achieving, full-of-life clients who filled the author’s private practice, and who changed her life. It’s a clarion call for all women to dare to want more without feeling greedy or ungrateful. Ultimately, this book will show you how to make the single greatest trade you’ll ever make in your life, which is to exchange superficial control for real power.

Thoughts : As a perfectionist myself, I sometimes see it as weakness and also my strength. This book makes me understand more about myself and how I supposed to be. This book covers everything you need to know if you are a perfectionist - even if you aren't one and you're interested to know more. Thanks Netgalley for the early copy.

It must have been fate when I randomly picked up this book because it reached its perfect target.

I feel like I've been through approximately five years of therapy after reading this book. This book is detailed, specific, and research-backed. It's also warm, understanding, and it's clear that the author truly cares about her clients/readers and wants to see them thrive.

I've always known I had pathological perfectionism, knew about cognitive behavioral therapy and how thoughts frame so much of our outlook, but the way the author combined these ideas and others with clear examples really awakened me to how my perfectionism and being labeled "gifted" has led me into negative thoughts and behaviors, and how I can get back to pursuing joy on the daily.

This book was honestly so helpful in identifying some ways I hadn’t even realized perfectionism effects my thinking & helping reframe thought processes I’ve never even questioned. It is backed with plenty of research & written with several different “types” of perfectionists in mind. Getting to the end of it felt like those moments when you’re with a really good friend and you forget about any of the usual pressures & stresses.

I think it’s a helpful read for anyone who tends to be hard on themselves or feels the pressure of unmet expectations either from yourself or society, with helpful tools for acknowledging and reframing those thought patterns.

This was. not at all what I was expecting I was expecting g afull book and nota how-to guide o. How to do things or not to do the

Thanks, NetGalley, for a review copy.

The title promises a way for us to live with our perfectionist tendencies, and the author delivers. Ms. Shafler's practical tips on identifying perfectionist tendencies and tips for dealing with them are useful. Some of the impact was lost, however, in the scattered way in which the information was presented.

Thank you to NetGalley and to the publisher for this arc in exchange for an honest review. Honestly, this one wasn’t for me. The title resonated, but I couldn’t line up with the voice. It could be great, I just can’t get into it.

I am always incredibly apprehensive of any "self-help" style book but The Perfectinist's Guide to Losing Control was surprising in how grounded in reality it seemed. Unlike most self-help writers who actually end up writing "motivational" memoirs, Schafler wrote a book that was grounded in research, personal anecdotes, stories from her own work, and reality. She acknowledges that we can't pull ourselves up from our bootstraps and while making a decision to change is important, it's not the solution. You can't just "be positive" your way out of poverty.

I appreciated that Schafler placed heavy emphasis on community and connection throughout this book, it's something I wish more self-help writers would understand. It wasn't a perfect book (how ironic is this sentence?) but it felt complete, which Schafler would argue is what perfect means anyway.

thanks to netgalley, the publisher, and the author for this e-arc!

as a parisian messy/procrastinator perfectionist, this book was extremely helpful to me. i have often thought myself a "perfectionist" in some parts of my life, but not always in the classic sense. (i believe i'm a procrastinator toward jobs in general, messy in most other things, and parisian when it comes to the most important things)

this book made me understand that yes there are different types of perfectionism and one may exhibit the characteristics of multiple types in the different aspects of one's life. these five types were differentiated and explained perfectly well and it's really such a shame how little we know/are taught about perfectionism. it's not an illness, it is simply a part of one's being. what makes it a problem are the maladaptive ways we use to cope.

the book is obviously well-researched, but in all technicality, i'd say not that well-organized and structured. it's not your typical self-help coffee table book, it's more like an academic paper. on the one hand, the research was impressive with all the useful references, but on the other, it was unnecessarily long in some parts. it was deeply insightful and informative but not that reader-friendly. although, i'm certain the experience would have been a lot better with a physical book.

i would recommend this and definitely would reread. the author is a psychotherapist and this book is worth at least five therapy sessions and i got it for free?

As a perfectionist (classic with a healthy dose of the other varieties described here), this book was amazing. There were so many great things I learned in it, and that I hopefully will take with me. This though is definitely a book I will be buying and keeping nearby for days when I need to remind myself that my perfectionism is a gift! Even if you aren't a perfectionist, there is lots of great knowledge about self-compassion and joy in here. So good!

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for my copy of this book!

Thank you to Netgalley and author, Katherine Morgan Schafler, for this arc. I found this self-help book extremely helpful and especially pertinent to my new job. I will implement the tools in my everyday life!

Here are some of my favorite quotes:
"Interestingly (read: predictably), the push towards curbing perfectionism and being ‘perfectly imperfect’ is directed towards women. Have you ever heard a man refer to himself as a “recovering perfectionist?” When Steve Jobs or Gordon Ramsey or James Cameron demand perfection, they’re exalted as geniuses in their respective fields. Where are the celebrated female perfectionists? ... . Part of the urging to stamp out perfectionism in women arises because perfectionism is a powerful energy."

"Women receive an eternal fountain of directives every day about how to be less. How to weigh less, how to want less, how to be less emotional, how to say ‘yes’ less, and certainly how to be less of a perfectionist. This is a book about more. About how to get more of what you want by being more of who you are.

I truly can't recommend this book highly enough. Written by a psychotherapist, The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control reframes perfectionism as something much more insidious than quirky, providing a deep dive into five different subtypes while questioning the elusive concept of 'finding balance' through a gently anti-capitalist/patriarchal lens.

The author draws on a lot of stories, all with female clients, so the language sometimes feels less inclusive than it could have been, although the author does make the point in a footnote that this is for brevity and convenience, so I think if cis male or other trans spec readers went into the book with this mindset they would gain just as much. I respect that the author took the approach of staying in her lane and recommended other texts where appropriate.

Personally, I felt the blurb sells the book as something a little more pop culture-y than it actually is on the page. I would encourage readers who identify with the extreme struggles detailed in the book to work through their insight and growth with the support of a therapist. I felt like this was more an accessible academic text, rather than an easy self-help beach read.

If you're in the right place at the right time in your mental health journey, I have no doubt this book will offer a great deal of healing. I have definitely felt a change, like the things I've been working towards over many years alone and with intense therapy for twelve months have crystalised with the help of this book. I want to re-read it regularly, and I intend to purchase my own copy as soon as possible. Bring on the tears and 'sudden' moments of clarity and understanding.

disclaimer: I received an ARC of this book from Penguin Group Portfolio via NetGalley, and I am voluntarily leaving this honest review.

As a perfectionist with growing awareness I really felt this was a useful read. I have been able to slowly see anxiety as a friend that I welcome along for the ride but don't allow to rule my life, Similarly, this book helped me to shift my perspective on perfectionism - from something that I felt ashamed about in myself to something I can work with to make it work better for me. It does not need to be recovered from and it also doesn't have to take over and get in the way of a healthy life. The breakdown of perfectionism into subtypes was helpful and the case studies give a real life application. The CBT influences in this book and its approach could help a lot of people and I would recommend this book to anyone who identifies or has been told they are a perfectionist.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

There were parts of this book that were excellent. The author's main idea is wonderful - to learn to embrace your perfectionism in a healthy way instead of pushing it away entirely (which will likely not work anyway). She has some practical tips about how to do this. She also defines several different types of perfectionist, which was interesting. Unfortunately the book was scattered, redundant, and too long. If it had been edited better it could have been a winner. As it is, you can still glean good information from it.