"It was hilarious and also absurd. Of course I loved my mother and my family but how much I loved them wouldn't stop this waning thing in me, its ugliness clawing at my sleep - if love was all it took, I would never have been here but this thing was its own thing, a thing that wanted to kill me, a thing they couldn't fix here, because these doctors didn't understand me, so I was going to have to do it myself." - an excerpt from the book

An empowering memoir written with a poet's grasp of unexplainable and complex things. I love when you read someone's memoirs and you can immediately tell that they are a poet; and honestly, their memoirs are so much easier to enjoy. There's something fanciful and intriguing about the ways they describe their own lives. Felix's memoir is an unusual mix of hopefulness and despair while she describes situations that almost all women can relate to. This book proves that you don't need to be eighty years old to write a memoir, and that, for those of us with mental health issues, we tend to experience more trauma, heartbreak, etc. in our first three decades compared to the average person. In fact, reading a memoir about someone relatively young and thriving makes such a reality seem more possible.

Some of my favorite quotes:

"I get everything but math and it makes me so mad. I feel so stupid. I start crying but I can't really explain why, and I don't really want to."

"Sort of, I say, which is a lie. It was not about being seen at all. I could disappear for all I care."

"I just got better at it, tried to make being unwell less obvious, less disruptive, for her."

"I beat myself into a routine of early functional independence..."

"My friend wonders why the worst characters in the story are the ones who see me and the ones I choose as a subject. It's magic, I tell her, my magic. I'm lying. There's no magic. Just some really backwards fucking math."

"Things are going to be hard for you because your brain works differently from other people's. Know that now. There's nothing wrong with you."

As a child, Camonghne Felix’s dyscalculia made learning math and numbers a struggle. But other childhood traumas proved even harder to overcome. In this gorgeous memoir written after a terrible breakup, Felix looks at her mental health and romantic past through the lens of dyscalculia to better understand her own brain and path to healing.

A brilliant, heartbreaking, and unique reflection on trauma, love, and healing. Felix is a poet, and this falls somewhere between poetry and essays. I'm so grateful for her bravery and generosity in sharing this writing with the world.

Dyscalculia is a poetic essay compilation in the form of prose. Beautifully written and coming of age piece.

I hate rating books like this because it feels so wrong to rate someone’s life experience, but this was beautifully written and you could feel the pain through every trauma experienced. I do recommend this book, but proceed with caution and check trigger warnings.

Thanks to NetGalley for a copy of this book. I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

This was a hard book to read. There were a lot of things it it that were triggering for me and there were times when I wasn't sure I could ge through it but I did. I have nothing but respect for the author, she went to hell and came back stronger for it.

If you have a history of mental illness, this might not be the book for you. Her writing style is no holds barred and at times it reads more lik poetry than a memoir. It's the type of book that encourages you to look inside yourself and sometimes we're just not ready.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC of this book! #Dyscalculia #NetGalley #Camoghne Felix

This book was haunting and lovely. Felix tells the story of her traumas, relationships, and mental health in a uniquely lyrical and spellbinding way. It is heartbreaking and attention-grabbing and won't let you go once you've been drawn in.

Felix's traumas aren't for the faint of heart or those who are prone to discounting mental health and abuse. She goes into a lot of detail about her struggles and her hospitalizations.

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to review this book ahead of publishing.

This was a super fast read . However it was disappointing and confusing. I was expecting more about her experience with dyscalculia. I also didn’t understand what was going on a lot of the time

My rating of this book is not based on the content itself. The story is haunting and emotional and beautifully written.

My 3 star rating is simply because they layout of this book just wasn’t my cup of tea. I had trouble keeping up with the timeline and remembering what happened just a few pages before.


Thank you Netgalley for gifting me an advance copy in exchange for my honest review and opinion.

Camonghne Felix opens her deepest thoughts in this awe-inspiring memoir. The book contains beautiful passages in a poetic style.

She reveals the trauma she had when she was just eight years old and raped by her cousin. This started a series of reports: police, detective, doctor, lawyer and then years of therapy with all kinds of treatments. She had difficulty with mathematics (dyscalculia) and struggled to learn like others. She was in and out of therapy as she tried to self-harm herself.

Finally, as an adult, a psychiatrist was able to give her a correct diagnosis. He immediately could tell from her past reports that she had a Bipolar II disorder with mood swings from high to low. He said trauma can change the brain’s chemistry. Her mom told her when she was ten years old that her brain was different and it wouldn’t be easy. Now she said, “you’re back.” Finally, she had a new outlook on life.

This is a short account of her life with ups and downs, written from her heart. It’s especially helpful for many that can relate to what she has endured. She associates herself to the Pythagoreans and says: “Each life is your chance to reconstruct the walkway on your path back to your Creator.”

My thanks to One World and NetGalley for allowing me to read this advanced copy with an expected release date of February 14, 2023.

A beautiful and haunting book that will stick with me for a long time. I wasn't sure what to expect coming in, I was drawn in by the cover and the math aspect of it, but once I started reading I couldn't stop. Felix writes about difficult topics in a way that reads quickly, intersecting personal stories with mathematical concepts, and dividing sections up with shorter paragraphs that stand alone. The writing is intense and lyrical but I did not find it over the top, it reads like a pulse and knows when to slow down and when to speed up. The book deals with a lot of difficult topics in a very honest and caring way. I look forward to reading more of Felix's work!

It almost feels wrong to put an amount of stars on a book like this. Like you're putting stars on Felix's trauma. This book sticks with you after you've finished it. The beautifully written prose keeps you hanging on. We could all do with a dose of honesty and Felix does not disappoint. She is an inspiration as a human being and as a writer.

Do yourself a favor and read this book.

Lyrically written emotional moving a memoir of a heartbreaking break up intertwined with math.As strange as this seemed I was involved fascinated caught up in the flow of the story the poetic writing.Looking forward to more by this author.#netgalley #randomhouse

Dyscalculia: A Love Story of Epic Miscalculation reads as a prose poem about the author’s mental illness, traumatic childhood, and a devastating breakup. Interestingly, she connects the onset of her struggles to her troubles with math and her inability to calculate to her difficulties making healthy decisions and seeing things clearly.

I really enjoyed reading this book and thought it was extremely creative and original. I’ve read a number of prose-memoir-poems like this one and honestly, the writing is mediocre and the authors just miss. But Felix doesn’t! It’s very clear that she has taken the time to master her craft. Some sentences quite literally took my breath away. Her talent is exceptional.

This book instilled me with so much hope and demonstrates that even those in the darkest places can find healing—sometimes it’s just a long and winding road to reach self-understanding. And it’s only when we reach healing that we can finally see the past clearly.

A poetic and beautiful interpretation of the lies the ,ind tells us and the tricks it plays when you struggle with any sort of mental illness. Having your heart broken is the simplest way to trigger such events. So many lines in this book have one way or another been thoughts of my own.

I landed somewhere around a 3.5 stars on this. I wanted to give 4 stars simply because of the way it spoke to my own mental and emotional struggles and how much I could relate to the cirmcumstances. But I was torn back to 3 stars for reasons I am not sure I can articulate properly.

It is a book that anyone struggling should read, without question, It shows the dirt and grit and hard of it all with the light at the end of the tunnel. I wish it provided more of the actual healing process and didn't seem as though it just happened. I know that isn't the reality, I know that it HAD to take work. I just wish more of it was shown.

I received this complimentary e-ARC from the publisher, courtesy of NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.

I never thought I'd read a book about a break up through the lens of math but here were are! This was a really great memoir that was well-written, made sense, and was full of life. I've had some rough memoirs lately and this is how they really should be.

DNF @30%

This book was not what I expected. I requested it because I am interested in dyslexia and dyscalculia, and am trying to learn as much about it as I can. This was more of a novel about the author’s life (and trauma) that might have possibly led to a diagnosis of dyscalculia. Because of that, I did not finish the book.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

It's hard for me to pick highlights of what really stuck with me through this book, because I'd ending up recapping the entire book. A beautiful, haunting, vulnerable story of growing up with trauma and the ways it sticks with you, for better or for worse, through adulthood. I typically don't go for the type of storytelling through poetry-adjacent writing, but this has changed my opinion indefinitely.

This book will stick with me for some time to come. If reading the synopsis of this book makes you feel out of your comfort zone, venture out there with Camonghne as your guide.

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House for the opportunity to give my honest review. ✨

Thank You to Random House and NetGalley for an advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest review!

This was my first Camonghne Felix read, and certainly won’t be the last. As another reviewer stated, it’s strange to give a rating on someone’s trauma, but these five stars are well worth putting up for how beautifully the difficult, heart wrenching subjects were presented to the reader. This book is not delicate like a flower, it’s delicate like a bomb, with intricately spun words weaving the tales of shocking evils the author had to endure. Thank you for giving us this wonderfully worded book which confronts trauma, and gives hope to heal from it through acceptance of self and hard work.

“It is not the world’s job to understand you, it is your job to understand the world.”

Ebook received for free through NetGalley

I came across this book and started reading it without looking at it too closely. That said I enjoyed the read. It flows and interconnects so well with each other. I love this peek into her life.

Interesting highly lyrical book which often felt like an extended prose poem rather than a long form piece. I was intrigued by the use of the page as a visual space.