This is a raw account of trauma and healing. It is written very honestly. It is a very good interesting read.

in a word: brilliant.

I’m in awe of Eden Boudreau for sharing her SA survival story with so much real and raw emotion. I was in tears by the end of it. I know that she is helping so many survivors (like me) by sharing her experience and I can only hope that she knows that and can feel that support in her vulnerability.

With that being said, if any talk of SA is a trigger for you then I would advise you to steer clear of this book or maybe just come back to it when you are in the right headspace. There is graphic detail, on page, of the r*pe so PLEASE take my warning if you need it.

Boudreau’s writing is powerful and engaging, full of tight prose and effective language that does not shy from either the ugly or the serendipitous moments of her recovery. Her identities as a bisexual, polyamorous woman add nuance to her experience as a survivor of sexual assault and as someone navigating her sexuality. I found the book easy to read, despite the heavy topic, due to how well it was written and the strong through-line leading to the hopeful ending. This memoir is not for the faint of heart, but I commend its strength and purpose.

Unfortunately I was unable to read this book because there are serious formatting issues. I am reviewing it as 2 stars due to this, but will not be sharing this review to Goodreads. I think it is a story that needs to be told, and I hope that the formatting can be corrected.

Crying Wolf is a memoir that doesn't hold back. It explores a rape, the aftermath, and healing. This was a honest and soul-bearing book, which I think was very brave. I liked seeing how the author showed all the emotions, reactions and thoughts she had in the years following the horrible assault.

I did find the netgalley copy rather hard to read though as there was a lot of letters missing from words.

Crying Wolf is a raw, powerful account of trauma and healing. Eden Boudreau writes captivatingly and honestly about her sexual assault and the difficult, winding path to healing in the aftermath.

TW - SA

Not a topic that everyone wants to read about but I found this book so raw you have to admire the author for sharing her story as I can imagine it wasn’t easy. The way she has written it is with such thought and feeling it just comes off the pages

Recommend this book

This was such a raw, honest, vulnerable, and sad story but brave and real nonetheless.

Every time I read a memoir, I convince myself more that you not only have to have the courage to tell your story but also keep reminding yourself that in the end, it is worth it even if only helps one person.

Vulnerability and being brave enough to want to share your experiences and traumas, especially on a topic such as sensitive and hard as sexual assault is.

I thank the author for writing this book, and for being so open and honest about what she went through.

Thank you Book*hug Press and Netgalley for the free advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

This powerful, raw account of Eden Bourdeau's violent assault and the aftermath left me hanging on her every word.

This was an interesting read - Eden Bourdeau adds an important perspective missing from the trauma memoir (of which our society sadly has an abundance). That perspective is that of a married, polyamorous woman surviving and recovering after being raped by a man with whom she was willingly on a date. Non-monogamy continues to mystify folks, and Eden Bourdeau does an excellent job reminding people that this was not her fault, and educating readers about the reality of non-monogamy.

Eden's journey was heartbreaking, but I cheered during her triumphs. This was a moving memoir. I would recommend to fans of memoirs and gender/sexuality studies.

Thanks to netgalley and bookhug for this arc in exchange for an honest review.

Eden Boudreau, thank you for writing this book. For being as resilient and forthcoming as you were about an extremely traumatic time in your life. Thank you for sharing when others still can’t. You have no idea the difference your story makes.

This book is gut-wrenching and honest, and will probably make you feel more emotions than you are prepared for. But read the book, because people need to see the reality of sexual assault and rape. Not only the brutality and statistics, but the aftermath too.

Also I hope people take into account that not everyone’s relationship is the same, and that’s okay. Because what works for some, doesn’t have to work for others.

Thank you to Netgalley and Book*hug for the digital arc of this book!

While it might be a tale as old as time, Eden Boudreau does two unique things as she shares her sexual assault and recovery. Firstly, she gives an unflinching recount of the attack. While talking about sexual assault has, slowly, become more commonplace, it is typically done so in a way that glosses over the nitty-gritty in order to make it palatable. But it is never palatable, and more people need to be brought into those real moments in order to truly understand the impact they have. Eden doesn't hold back, and the effect is palpable.

Eden also drives home the critical point that it doesn't matter if a woman 'puts herself out there', it doesn't equal consent. Just because she chose to be polyamorous and go on a date, in no way shape or form means she should have expected something bad to happen. It should go without saying, but unfortunately is a point that needs to be made again and again. It doesn't matter if she was drinking, if she wore a short skirt, if she walked home along, if she ran with headphone in... it shouldn't happen to anyone. By being open with her less traditional lifestyle, Eden helps drive this point home for the collective good.

I heard Eden interviewed on The Shit No One Tells You About Writing podcast and knew this was a book I needed to read. I was fortunate to receive an ARC and moved it to the top of my TBR. While this book comes with an obvious trigger warning, I think for most it will do more good than harm, as it's so easy to find bits of your own experience in it.

Eden is a talented writer, and it was fun to read insights into her journey to becoming a writer. Parts of this book were hard to read, not just the assault itself but the drinking and drug use while home alone with her children, but it was a story that required uncensored honesty to tell.

Who should read this book? Every woman, every human who has ever had to suffer at the hands of a man who felt he deserved something, and any man who might benefit from seeing the consequences of his actions.

Thank you to NetGalley, Book*hug Press and Eden Boudreau for this ARC.

This is one of the toughest books I've read through, in the same way that Chanel Miller's <i>Know My Name</i> was. Powerful, engaging, and devastating, Boudreau takes you through her experience as she processes having been sexually assaulted on a date. While I knew this would be hard to get through, I did not realize how many times the struggles and hardships would create really tense and intense moments for her, leaving me as the reader feeling all of those emotions. I did have to put the book down a few times in order to make it through. I appreciated all of the honesty in this book and Boudreau's life. She was able to never shy away from the choices she made for herself and her relationship by having an open marriage, often discussing the value and intimacy it offered her and her husband. It created a deeper layer of complication in the case, but allowed us to see sides of a story we often don't.

Boudreau's writing was straightforward, but filled with contemplative emotion. Because we're experiencing the hardship with her, in seemingly real-time, the jerky movements of her life were truly felt in the text. You can experience the highs and easy moments, just as much as you're stuck in the quicksand of those sinking moments. The various relationships she is in are also difficult at times because you feel for her, but also those who are thrown into the storm with her. I really appreciated the inclusion of her therapist and the journey they took together; it was nice to see a realistic representation of that struggle. The gaining of trust, the avoidance, the movement to find life again.

I would definitely recommend this, but it would come with a deep warning. The descriptions and language is graphic. There is no barrier between what happened and the reader. Instead, Boudreau makes sure to present a true picture of her experience and journey. This is going to make it something not everyone will be able to handle. I'm definitely glad I read the book, but it is not for the faint of heart. Because of this, I'm rating it 4 stars, but just from personal stop and go and intensity, rather than due to content.

*Trigger Warning for topics surrounding SA*

I rarely find myself engrossed in non - fiction and memoir type books. They tend to be my more causal reads that I pick up for a commute or a relaxing day. However, this story was so important and I am so happy that this book was published. Eden Boudreau is a bisexual woman in a polyamorous relationship. I haven’t come across many non - fiction books of a person’s experience in this type of relationship. It was so refreshing to read about a person who benefits from this type of relationship. However, there is a downside to being in this type of relationship and going through a SA. Society has certain expectations for people when it comes to the type of situation they find themselves in. Often victims of SA are blamed for their actions leading up to the SA instead of blaming the perpetrator themselves. As a women in a polyamorous relationship. Eden faces many biases and societal scrutiny when talking about their SA. Eden’s experience brings attention to the lack of support that people face in the aftermath of SA when they live lifestyles that are not always accepted in society,

This memoir shows all the bumps and curves when it comes to recovering oneself after a traumatic experience. Eden’s path to finding herself is not easy and the ones around her also are struggling. As she learns to be herself once again, the people around her also heal. I feel so bad that Eden was unable to get the support she needed from authorities. However, it seems finding her passion for writing again and counselling seemed to allow her to live in the present. This memoir talks a lot about living your life and not just surviving. Being in a constant flight or fight mode can be so exhausting. Even if someone has never experienced SA in their own life, Eden’s memoir gives the reader a glimpse of what it is like for her day to day.

I would recommend this book for those who have gone through a similar experience as Eden. It included many epiphanies the writer had as she went through counselling that may help guide people to recovery. This book does include some graphic content and so the reader must make sure they read with caution and know they are ready to read this type of memoir.

This memoir (heavy trigger warning) hit me straight in my soul. I have never experienced a SA like Eden has, but I know deep in my heart that I’ve had to heal from traumas as well and she deeply encapsulates the difficulties of coping. This book has somewhat of a Me Too spin to it, in that I feel it was decidedly published to bring awareness and a call to action. It is a very powerful memoir in which maybe you don’t agree with the authors life style but you absolutely know 100% that nothing that happened to her was her fault. This book should be read by anyone who feels the need to blame women, or revictimize them. As a woman who will one day do important work like Farrah in this book, I take deep inspiration from the story told.

Crying Wolf is a raw, powerful account of trauma and healing. Eden Boudreau writes captivatingly and honestly about her sexual assault and the difficult, winding path to healing in the aftermath. Boudreau is unflinching in her confrontation of her own assault as well as the culture of shame and judgement - both external and internalized - that survivors face. Her writing is personal and vulnerable and so compelling.

I was hooked from the description and this book delivered.

Major CW for description of rape, drug and alcohol use, and suicide attempt.

Thanks to NetGalley and Book*hug Press for an advance copy of this book.

I was drawn in from the first pages the fear the terror as the author was attacked again and again her description of the man assaulting her .Her desperation to get away to safety away from this man she had met on line agreed to meet him at a bar drove her own car so she could come & go safely.The author brings her story alive she shares her raw intimate at times horrific story.A book women will pass from one to the other as a warning to each other be careful be cautious.A book I will not forget.#netgalley #cryingwolf

Wow! How can I even begin to explain this? This was written so well and so thought-provoking. I teared up so many times and wanted to curl up into a ball. Just heartbreaking.

"It's a tale as old as time. Girl meets boy. Boy wants girl. Girl says no. Boy takes what he wants anyway."

Wow. Standing ovation for this poignant memoir. I feel honored to have received an advanced reader’s copy - this book is on the same level as Chanel Miller and Stephanie Foo. I thoroughly enjoyed the honesty related to distrust of the criminal justice system and the tumultuous road to recovery. Societal conditioning of acceptable female sexuality silenced Boudreau to a point of despair, leading to addiction and attempted suicide. I loved how she healed through writing and felt inspired by her journey.

Thank you to NetGalley and Book*hug Press for this ARC in exchange for an honest review. Run to wherever you buy your books to purchase this on 3/22/23.

**Thank you to NetGalley and Book*hug Press for this ARC in exchange for an honest review**

This is one of the best books I have read so far this year, and it's a story that needed to be written, that needed to be shared with the world.

The memoir opens mid rape, as Eden describes some of the details of what is happening to her. She tells us that she has been raped not once, but TWICE in her life already, at only 37 years old. One of the biggest factors that will come into play is the fact that she is a bisexual, polyamorous woman, which just brings on extra judgment on top of everything.

Eden tells us about her first date with Liam, the man who would later sexually assault her at the end of the night. They met up at a local sports bar, and almost immediately he asks her go to upstairs for more privacy, where he picks a booth in a far corner. At this point Eden is starting to feel a little uneasy, as his grip on her hand had been forceful and his choice of booth questionable. She tells us about the unofficial rules of girlhood that all women grow up hearing, but that sometimes men know them too and they know their way around them. Men are being taught how to succeed and woman are being taught how to survive, she says. He took her phone out of her hands, and seemed intent on getting her drunk. She spent the rest of the night trying to figure out how to leave. Once she does, Liam follows her on the way to her car, grabs her, and forces her into the passenger side of his car, where he proceeds to rape her.

As Eden arrives home, she is in a lot of pain, and bruises have started to show. All she wants to do is take a shower, but no matter how much she tries to scrub everything, she still feels dirty. She eventually goes to the hospital, where she first encounters a nurse, tells her about what happened, and is met with judgment about her polyamory. Doctors are nurses are not supposed to pass judgment about anything; their job is to help the patient regardless. She described the nurse as being detached and she wonders if this is such a common thing that she has been desensitized to it. The doctor gives her some medications just in case she had been exposed to anything.

As the days go by, she is frightened by sounds, doesn't like changes to her routine, or being alone. She dyes her hair, only wears non-revealing clothing, and she always has a pair of boots in the car. All of the places she and Joe used to hang out at are now too loud, busy, or dark, and if she does go somewhere, she makes sure her back is to the wall where she was sitting. She doesn't sleep, eat, laugh, or have sex. She doesn't want to be touched by anyone.

We are told about the time her and her husband, Joe, went to therapy after he cheated on her multiple times. In fact, it was their therapist that suggested they open their marriage and be polyamorous in the first place.

Speaking of therapists, Eden is assigned a therapist, Farrah, to help her with the aftermath of the rape. She explains to her what happened and Farrah tells her that it sounds like she has post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). She eventually asks about options if she did want to file a report, and Farrah gets in contact with a detective who comes to her office to talk to Eden. The detective asks her what happened. So, this will now be the third person she has told the story to and had to relive the trauma yet again. (This reminds me of the Netflix series Unbelievable, where Marie has to tell her story to a police officer, a detective, a nurse, the detective again, then she has to write it out, and then she has to tell the story again.) It must be exhausting. The detective was even more detached than the nurse. The detective says that she should consider reporting, but then describes what will happen if she does, including only a 4% chance of a conviction after going through everything. That's enough to make most women think, why bother?

Eden kind of goes way off track after that, drinking and doing coke. One night she contemplates suicide by taking a bunch of sleeping pills while drinking, but ultimately decides against taking enough to die. She does eventually go back to seeing Farrah.

One day she is at the library with her sons and the man there tells her about a writers' retreat, so she submits and application, and gets accepted. While there, one of the girls tells her about pitch writing and gets her to submit a story about taking her son to a pride parade, since he had been questioning his sexuality. She also submits a writing piece about her rape to another magazine, and getting back to running after her rape to yet another.

Much of the time, the way Eden described the scenes, I felt like I was there with her, feeling what she was feeling. It was like reading a thriller, only unfortunately it actually happened to a real person. There is also a discussion throughout the book about her childhood and her relationships with her parents and sister.

I do hope that the formatting gets fixed though, because this e-copy was missing the beginning part of every sentence starting each chapter, and all throughout the book, there were letters missing from a bunch of words on every single page. This made figuring out what words they were supposed to be difficult at times. This did not take away from the story, but it was quite annoying to deal with.

Crying Wolf *TRIGGER WARNING REGARDING SA*

After being brutally assaulted after a first date, Eden is confronted by an apprehensive world. ‘Are you sure you were raped?’ ‘Did they misunderstand you?’ ‘Maybe they thought you liked it.’ Already regarded with doubt, Eden’s polyamorous lifestyle exposes her to ridicule and disbelief from onlookers and herself, setting forth her path towards self-destruction and recovery.

This memoir really broke my heart. Boudreau's bravery to confront her trauma and publicise her story is a type of courage I can only be envious of. We learn that healing is not a linear process, that it really isn’t someone else’s job to fix us, but only ourselves. Whilst Boudreau’s story is not unique, akin to many other harrowing stories that women share every day, Boudreau highlights her unique position existing within a polyamorous relationship, and how that exposes her to a different type of victim blaming, from herself and other people.

Whilst not a particularly nice topic to read about, Boudreau’s writing is captivating in its candid, succinct style, driving you to read on. As a result of this style, it makes it an incredibly accessible text, one that demands to be read.

I hope this is not the last time I read her work.