This book definitely hit close to home, no doubt. Delilah’s character faces some of the most difficult challenges one could face. The intricacies of her as a character are shown with both straight-forward representation, as well as the subtleties that make Delilah who she is. Watching these important traits manifest while she is struggling with her aunt’s sickness, coming to terms with the events of her mother & father, the weight of her own mental turmoil & then even some social/love life issues sprinkled in there, sheds light on her growth in a way that is so often overlooked. Throughout the plot, it’s the little things that show how she is getting better. It’s the small things she says to herself in order to combat the nagging voice in her head & how she fights it. It’s the minute details of how her view of herself, her family, her worth, life, & even death changes for the better. The entire novel poses questions of morality to a reader. When Death with Dignity was mentioned, I found myself offended & appalled at the idea that Fran would even think to mention the concept to Delilah, knowing what she struggles with. However, by the end of the novel, I understood it. This novel really made me think, not just of my own morals, but of the morals of those around me; & that is a quality of a damn good book.

Ann Jacobus writes in a descriptive and dialogic style that flows from the page. I appreciated this book as one that poses tough questions with hope and honesty.

The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent
by Ann Jacobus
Description
Eighteen-year-old Del is in a healthier place than she was a year and a half ago: She’s sober, getting treatment for her depression and anxiety, and volunteering at a suicide-prevention hotline. Her own suicide attempt is in the past, and living in San Francisco with her beloved aunt has helped her see a future for herself.

But when Aunt Fran is diagnosed with terminal cancer, Del’s equilibrium is shattered. She’s dedicated herself to saving every life she can, but she can’t save Fran. All she can do is help care for her aunt and try to prepare herself for the inevitable—while also dealing with a crush, her looming first semester at college, and her shifts at the crisis line.

After Aunt Fran asks for her help with a mind-boggling final request, Del must confront her own demons and rethink everything she thought she knew about life and death.

This book really touched me to the soul. I lost my twin sister less than a month ago. I was her caregiver.

It is sad when Del works at a suicide helpline, and yes, cares about the callers. . .As she prepares to begin college she discovered her beloved aunt Fran is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Of, course she believes she can save her. She already had an alcohol addiction and drug use and had tried to take her own life.
But, when given the fact there is no cure, only months or weeks, she is floored when her Aunt Fran allows her to end her own life faster and end the pain. What a sad request for both. She was fighting her own demons daily. Del did all she could, and did consider her Aunt's request, but in California this is illegal.
It was a beautifully written story of life, living, and seeing death daily overtaking Fran.

In The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent, eighteen-year-old Delilah ("Del") is recovering from her own suicide attempt, getting treatment for her depression and anxiety, and most importantly, maintaining her newfound sobriety. Living with her beloved aunt and working at a suicide prevention crisis line, Del is making a way for herself in San Francisco.

Del's progress is upended when her Aunt Fran is diagnosed with terminal colon cancer. Now left to help tend to Fran's hospice care and one mind-boggling final request from Fran herself, Del is forced to rethink her whole life and face many hard decisions, meanwhile tackling her own demons along the way.

Ann Jacobus writes a courageous story of a brave girl learning to cope with her own problems while being side-swiped by a whole new reality. Del's struggles are so universal and relatable that even if you've never faced addiction or attended AA, you can still feel your soul be moved by her epic journey of self-discovery and growth along the course of the novel.

The writing is beautiful and moving throughout. In fact, the poetry written by Aunt Fran that is interspersed periodically really tugs at the heartstrings and sets your emotions on high.

Further, if you're like me, and are as riveted by the novel's conclusion and find yourself reading the Author's Note, you'll see how this gorgeous book came to pass and I can guarantee your eyes will no longer be dry, if they aren't already waterfalls!

This book is another stunner by Ann Jacobus, which publishes March 7, 2023.

**Special thanks to the author and Netgalley for my review copy in exchange for an honest review.**

I adored Jacobus's first novel, "Romancing the Dark in the City of Light," so I leapt at the chance to read "The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent." It didn't disappoint.

Set in 2015, "The Coldest Winter" follows Del, who lives with her aunt Fran in San Francisco. With a complicated family history and her own struggles with depression, addiction, and anxiety, Del's not sure that her loved ones fully trust her with her life - and she's not sure they should, either. Still, Del's holding it together - until Fran is diagnosed with cancer, and Del's carefully crafted present and future start to crumble.

Until about the midpoint of the book, I wasn't sure about Del. One of the things I loved so much about "Romancing the Dark" was how distinct it felt from so much of the YA I've read - how much it felt like the protagonist had aged beyond her time. Del, too, has been through the wringer, but it's not until later in the book that that experience truly starts to shape her into who she can become.

When thinks get hard for Fran, though: that's when the book starts to sing. I've spent the last year in what we'll call a family cancer plotline of my own, and I'm not sure I would have been able to finish the book—wait, keep reading, that's a compliment—if Fran's cancer had been more similar to my family's experience. Del's grief, and perhaps more to the point her pre-grief, are palpable, and by the end of the book I could read only a few pages at a time before pausing and turning to something else for a few minutes. Only three books in the history of ever have made me cry, and I'm not looking to add to that list. If I'd stopped to think about it, I probably would have concluded that I wasn't in a place to read this right now—but it's just as well that I don't have a lot of bookish self-control. For all that this is set in 2015 (and there are reasons for that, but I won't spoil them), this is one of the most up-to-date looks at depression, grief, and (again, no spoilers) things surrounding those topics that I've seen in fiction in quite some time. 4.5 stars.