Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for granting me free access to the advanced digital copy of this book.

When his long-term relationship with a woman ended, Harry realised that he was in fact, a single gay, trans man. Would the gay community accept him? What would he learn in his next foray into dating while stepping into the light of his true self? This moving, coming-of-age memoir celebrates self-exploration and the embracing of a new culture that can come with that. Harry is very honest and open, as he discusses the realities of being a gay, trans man. There’s a scene in a pharmacy where he is denied the morning after pill because ‘the girl has to come in herself’ that I think illustrates the ignorance and lack of education about what trans people go through. The book is so real and informative without being preachy, which is a fantastic feat. A must read for Pride season!

There is something so intimate about reading a memoir by a non-celebrity/non-academic. It is always going to feel more raw and less sanitized to me. And, it's so important that we have these kinds of stories because they give us a view into how real people live their lives in different circumstances.

I highly recommend this memoir as an accessible and engaging read. It is an opportunity to gain perspective on the trans experience and it's especially timely to read about the experience of a trans person in England at this moment. And at the same time, there were things about the author's experience and journey that resonated with me very personally as a cis person.

The author is candid and vulnerable with his own story, while being passionate and thoughtful about how that fits into a broader current and historical context.

At times the narrative veered into a bit of stream of consciousness, with emphasis that felt somewhat repetitive. But, while it didn't feel polished, it felt authentic and always engaging.

A beautifully introspective piece about being trans in a time when it’s the most dangerous thing to be. I really enjoyed reading from a perspective I thought I knew, but I have been further educated of trans awareness as an ally.

This was requested when I first found out about NetGalley and I had requested so many ARCs that I could not get to all of them before they were archived. I really wanted to get to this one, as it seemed interesting. If I can find this somewhere for a reasonable price, I will try to get it! I am giving this book three stars, as I don't want to give it a good or bad rating, since I did not get to it.

An honest, thought provoking and captivating discussion on the experiences of the author. I enjoyed the conversational tone of the book, as if talking to a friend over coffee. A fascinating insight in to life as a trans man and has awakened my interests to research further.

I love this book. It is very approachable by the reader, the thoughts are clear and well described, and points are made with references to news and other articles to bolster the author's thoughts and experiences. On a personal note this book describes about 80% of my experience in my early 20s. It was at times hard to read for that reason and also reassuring at the same time, that I was not alone with some of these thoughts and feelings. I felt seen, and supported not only in my feelings from when I was in my 20s but also now as I am going through my own transition in my 40s.

Harry Nicolas grew up as a girl before transitioning at the age of 18. But he didn't embrace his gayness until his girlfriend of five years broke up with him. That experience prompted him to pivot into a new world of gay dating.
This book is filled with sexual content, including violence that may be difficult for some readers.
But it's also raw and honest. Harry shares insights into common dilemmas humans experience, including fear of rejection, how to feel comfortable in our bodies, how we use sex to meet our internal emotional needs, how to have uncomfortable conversations with the people we love, and how to know when we're in love.
I didn't appreciate that the author stereotypes all Tories at the end of the book when he spent most of the previous 200+ pages complaining about stereotypes toward him.
This is one man's story. And it's a story that helps readers understand a different viewpoint.
I like the list of additional resources at the end.

"After his relationship with his girlfriend of 5 years ended, Harry realised he was a single adult for the first time - not only that, but a single, transmasculine and newly out gay man."

Thanks you NetGalley for accepting me to read and review this autobiography about a trans man coming out.

I tried to submerge myself into his world to try to understand his mental, emotional and physical struggles with his sexuality, but I found the language and subject matter a bit too much for me, so I did not finish the book.

I loved reading this book.

The humor with which Harry rights is fantastic. I thoroughly enjoyed the writing voice.

This really exceeded my expectations. Firstly I'd like to own up to my own biases, as I am not a gay trans man — I'm bisexual and genderqueer, and sometimes I struggle with books about trans men, as someone who is transmasc but not a man. Weirdly, I find it harder in some ways to relate to books that are <i>almost</i> my own experience, compared to books about something totally different. Just my own quirk that I'm working on.

So, I'm happy to say I didn't have any of those problems with this book. What Nicholas writes about isn't so much the specific experience of being a gay trans man, but the more universal feelings that arose from his own experiences of living as one. These are things that I certainly could relate to, and I think any queer person has experienced.

There's refreshingly little time spent on entry-level questions. Nicholas doesn't dwell on his "trans coming out story" more than is strictly necessary, and there's no agonising over whether cis gay men will accept trans men or not (they do, enthusiastically). Instead, Nicholas delves deeper into the traps we as queer people fall into. I really related to the parts of this book that dealt with seeking validation and acceptance through hook-ups and instant gratification. How we often overcompensate for years of being pushed into the closet.

<i>The more men I had sex with, the more of a gay man I was. And the more they wanted me, the more I felt validated in my identity.</i> (Location 1817)

That's not to say this is a book that's negative about gay culture and hook up culture, not at all. all. There's a lot of joy and humour as well (the story about watching BBC news in a sauna at 5 am still brings a smile to my face).

All in all, a great book and one I expect to see on "essential LGBT reading" lists before too long.

I found this really easy to read and it was also a fairly short read. I thought it was insightful, important and at times very heart wrenching.

thanks to netgalley for an arc of this book which was published may 18th <3

an insightful, heartwarming & heartbreaking book about harry nicholas's experiences as a gay trans man. he talks about gender, being trans, dating, sex, health care, queer culture and history and shows the importance of trans people and trans bodies being visible. I especially liked the joy he shares in this book as lots of trans books focus on issues faced by the community, but although we see these issues too, we also see harrys journey to queer joy and self acceptance.

A short, easy, and important read. I really like this overall and would definitely recommend it. My only complaint is that if felt a little bit disjointed and the chapters could have been ordered better. Harry was super lovable and honest and I really enjoyed reading this. Easy to read in one sitting!!

In his memoir "Pageboy", Elliot Page writes that there are infinite ways to be trans and that he shares his life story as one of those ways. In "A Trans Man Walks Into a Gay Bar", Harry Nicholas shares his unique story. From his feelings of gender dysphoria as a young child to his transition as an adult and all that entailed, Nicholas discusses experiences including the reactions (from wholly accepting to transphobic) he received from friends, family, and the general public; his sexual journey of several years from promiscuously hooking up with strangers to finding his soul mate; the challenge of wearing clothes that fit and were stylish; and how COVID affected his transition and relationships. He also talks about the current social, political, and cultural climate in England (where he lives) as it affects trans individuals. The book includes a bibliography of further reading.

I appreciated Nicholas's candid portrayal of his life as a trans man, and was especially interested in the history that Nicholas shared as it related to transgender individuals. As he mentioned in the book, he agonized about the tone of his story, wanting to strike the right balance of hope and unflinching honesty. I believe he has succeeded in doing that. As with so many other life experiences, the agonizingly difficult times are often necessary before you can get to a better place.

I received an advanced reader copy of this book from NetGalley, and while I understand that ARCs are, by nature, uncorrected proofs, this copy contained so many errors that I was often distracted from the story. I do hope that the majority of these errors will be corrected for the final copy.

Loved this memoir, its a very necessary story. Felt like i was having a chat with my friend in the pub.

As Nicholas points out several times in this book, there's a real lack of media that explores the intersection of gayness and transness, and this book delves into the life of a young trans man coming to terms with his attraction to men. I thought this was a memoir, but it's closer to a series of essays exploring different events and topics in Nicholas' life. That said, it is very personal, and balances Nicholas' own experiences being unique with the larger social conditions that are part of those experiences very well. He does a good job bringing in the ideas of other writers and artists, which is very cool, though I sometimes wanted a bit more of his own thoughts and experiences to tie some of these outside thoughts and distinct essays together.

My favourite aspect of this book is that it set out its expectations at the beginning of the book, and I felt it achieved them greatly!

It was fantastic to read Harry’s story of being trans AND gay. It includes many personal stories, differing in nature from funny to cringe-worthy to upsetting. Some parts are difficult to read but I praise Harry for including them. Similarly, it was amazing to read moments for trans joy, as we can so often be fed a narrative of sadness in regard to queer lives.

My only negative in this book was the “guesses” in some of the facts and figures. I understand it’s not a memoirs job to give me background but it took me away from the writing while I investigated the facts.

Thank you to the publisher for the copy via NetGalley. This memoir has stayed with me since finishing it. Nicholas certainly has written from a valuable perspective, and the work belongs amongst the finest queer non-fiction in recent memory. For any person who is not only gay, but also gender queer or trans - this is a must read.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC of this book! This was more like 3.5 stars for the quality of writing, but I love reading first person trans narratives and memoirs so I rounded up. I find gender and sexuality and the myriad expressions thereof to be so compelling. I thought the author was very brave and vulnerable for sharing as much as he did, and I was glad to read about his experience as a trans man.