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Such Kindness

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Veteran novelist Dubus gives us a portrait of a working class laborer who has lost everything. Although Dubus is a wonderful writer, this is not one of his best and borders on sensationalist.

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In spite of myself, I couldn’t stop reading this novel. Yes, it’s crude, repetitive, long-winded, and in essence a parable. And yet… there’s something sincere and persuasive about Tom’s arc, away from pity and depression to something more upbeat, valuable and meaningful. Everything is very simple, polarized, schematic, but the essence of the narration overrides the sugariness and insistence on lesson learned. Am I going soft, or is a better book than it appears?

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5 stars, and then some.

I highly recommend this book, but it will probably not be for everyone. To read about a deeply depressed and very broken-down white middle-aged man will probably keep some readers away. I understand, but this book grabbed me immediately and made me care desperately for this desperate human being. I felt his pains, his confusions, his guilts, his resentments - yes, all plural - and I saw him, a man who felt so invisible to the world, in no small part because he had dropped out and largely checked out, too. But this author, wow, he made this modern-day secular Job just someone I wanted and needed to see find his way out and up.

I won't say if Tom Lowe Jr. does or doesn't find what he needs, but I will say, this novel asks you to look deep, deep within, at the rot that is happening in so much of our society, at how disposable so many of us feel and/or are treated, at what it means to see all you've done wrong, all the ways you've hurt others, but also how to try to move on, to move forward, to maybe even forgive others and ourselves. And I am grateful.

So, again, not a novel that everyone will want to take on, but for me, this might only be the end of July but this book will be in my Top Five of 2023.

Many thanks to NetGalley for a digital ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.

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I found this book profound, moving, and beautiful. There is so much wisdom in this novel. Tom Lowe is a fantastic character and his story will stick with me for a long time. Dubus chronicles a hard life in modern America (subject matter that can be depressing) yet this is one of the most inspiring/optimistic novels I have read in a long time.

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Published by W. W. Norton & Company on June 6, 2023

For fans of Siddhartha, Such Kindness is a modern retelling of a personal journey that allows a man to transcend suffering. The narrator achieves a kind of enlightenment by letting go of everything but love. Whether that’s possible is up to the reader (of either book) to decide.

Tom Lowe earned enough credits to acquire two bachelor’s degrees but never managed to graduate with one. That was fine. He was a skilled carpenter and earned a decent living remodeling houses. He was married to Ronnie and had a son named Drew. He wanted to give Ronnie everything but, by working so hard to pay for each day’s acquisitions, he failed to give her what she needed most.

Tom fell from a roof, fracturing his hips and pelvis. He let his insurance lapse shortly before the fall so he couldn’t cover his medical bills. Even before he fell, he was having trouble paying the mortgage. Dealing with excruciating pain, Tom became addicted to opioids, started feeling sorry for himself, and lost everything. Soon after the novel begins, Tom has no job, no car, no telephone, no regular contact with Drew. Even his laptop computer dies, cutting him off from the outside world.

Tom is not to blame for his misfortune. He didn’t ask to become disabled or addicted to pills. His wife could have honored their vows and been supportive instead of making the selfish decision to cheat on him with a man who isn’t disabled. At the same time, Tom knows he was a difficult husband, particularly after he got hooked on opioids. He was a bad father when he encouraged Drew to buy him more pills from a dealer. He’s perceptive enough to wonder whether he would have stayed with his wife if she had become an addict. Andre Dubus III paints Tom in a light that makes it possible for a reader to feel empathy with him while recognizing that his response to misfortune was not ideal.

Now Tom lives in a subsidized apartment near his former home in Cape Ann, a house he built with money he borrowed from a bank before he was subprimed into a foreclosure. He blames his lending officer, Mike Andrews, for talking him into an adjustable rate loan that was adjusted out of his ability to make payments. He blames his insurance company for not covering his medical bills after collecting premiums for years. He has three “revenge folders” on his laptop: banks, insurance, and Big Pharma.

Tom begins the novel with a scheme to steal Andrews’ credit card data, a plan concocted by his neighbor Trina. Trina has two kids from Hell, probably because she’s the mother from Hell. Tom needs money to pay traffic tickets and get his car out of impoundment. He doesn’t want to sell his tools — it would be like selling his penis — but he knows that turning to crime isn’t his best option. One of Tom’s redeeming features is his unwillingness to make money by hurting others, as does Trina’s friend Fitz, who makes money by stealing drugs from a hospital and selling them to addicts.

Tom and Trina’s friend Jamey later debate whether the ends justify the means (Jamey has been crapped on his whole life and feels he’s entitled to take something from credit card companies that can afford the loss). Tom quickly realizes he can’t be that kind of man, no matter how much he resents his banker. He doesn’t want Jamey to be that kind of man either.

The novel features several more conversations, as well as Tom’s introspective musings, about moral issues. Whether people who feel they are better than other people are just fooling themselves. Whether Tom’s reticence about interacting with the world makes him a taker rather than a giver. Whether parents are responsible for their adult children’s failings.

Before the novel’s midway point, after events seem to leave him with no hope at all, Tom has a multi-part epiphany. In part, regretting his disconnect from his adult son, he realizes that his feeling of uselessness as a father nearly killed his love of being a father — a feeling distinct from his love of his son, which never wavered. In part, he realizes that he’s become disconnected not just from his son, but from everything he cares about in the world. In part, he comes to realize that all the neighbors he’s been ignoring have value and that he doesn’t really listen to anyone. In part, he gives new thought to the old adage, “We have to play the hand God gave us.” In part, he comes to understand the need to let go of grievances and self-loathing.

And in large part, he realizes the importance of kindness — to strangers, even to himself. When he starts to notice them, he is surprised by and grateful for every random act of kindness he experiences — a nurse who helps him track down his son, a neighbor who shares a dessert, a beauty shop owner who lets him borrow her phone, a stranger who buys him a bagel. When a woman he barely knows wishes his son well, he is buoyed by the woman’s benevolence.

At times, his appreciation of kind acts seems almost feverish, an overreaction to abandoning the years in which he blamed other people “for the shitty hand I got dealt.” Because of those times, I was preparing myself to conclude that the story of Tom’s journey is just too hard to swallow, too divorced from reality. But by the novel's end, I couldn’t make myself be that cynical. I was sucked into Tom’s journey and ended the novel with nothing but admiration for someone who (believably or not) learns to transcend suffering.

As Tom begins to feel “broke but not so broken,” he gives extensive thought to the notion of happiness. His elderly neighbor tells him that it’s good to be happy, but we shouldn’t want to be happy every day. A physician’s assistant makes him believe that nothing can make someone happier than helping others. When a cop tells him that he should act his age, Tom wonders why others should expect him to want things he no longer regards as important — a job, an intact family, good health. Perhaps Tom is delusional as he thinks about Siddhartha and strives for the inner peace that (supposedly) comes from abandoning all desires, or perhaps he is on his way to Nirvana.

By the end of the novel, Tom is convinced that he can fix other people, make them understand his new perspective on life and use that perspective to find jobs, quit drugs, be better parents. It’s commendable that he wants to help and protect people, but he has clearly set for himself an impossible task. And yet, at the end, with his troubles arguably greater than they have ever been, Tom maintains a serenity that Siddhartha would recognize. It’s nice to imagine that such inner peace is a possibility. If it is, Such Kindness is a roadmap.

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From the author of the incredible House of Sand and Fog, Andre Dubus III did it again. Stunning writing and a story with layer upon layer leading the reader to reflect and reassess their own life. The character of Tom Lowe was one that deserves a book club discussion - I don’t want to reveal any plot threads and turns but know that Tom goes on a Heroes’ Journey that made me tear up time and time again. The writing is exquisite - “he looked at me like I was an empty fire extinguisher” (paraphrasing). What a breathtaking book about losing yourself and the gift of peace no matter your circumstance. Thanks to W.W. Norton & Company for the copy. What a gift.

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⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Such Kindness
Andre Dubus III
Source: NetGalley ARC
Pub Date: June 6, 2023

I’m unsure how to present my review of the book Such Kindness by Andre Dubus III, but I’ll try. I recently read a piece by Mr. Dubus in The New Yorker, and it blew my mind…then I realized he’s on my ARC shelf with NetGalley. It was Andre Dubus III. Such Kindness features Tom Lowe, Jr., who has lived in plenty and has lived in want. If Tom were a biblical character, he would undoubtedly be Job. At the height of Tom’s construction career, he makes one simple miscalculation and falls three stories to the ground. While in recovery, he gets hooked on drugs, his wife gets divorced and takes his beloved son, the bank takes his house, and the downward spiral never ends. This story is well-told and beautifully written, with a moving plot. Tom’s not hateful; he’s hopeless, which can mess with a man. It takes some time, but when Tom starts to be thankful for the little things in life, his life turns. No, it’s not a happy-go-lucky story, but it’s a damn good story if you are up to it. I believe Andre Dubus III has a new fan in me. Special thanks to Ann Patchett @parnassusbooks for turning me on to Mr. Dubus. #andredubus #SuchKindness #WWNortonCompany #drugs #wealth #poverty #badluck #lostfamily #hopeless #pain #addiction #tragedy #struggle
❄️
@w.w.norton @netgalley #andredubusIII
I received a complimentary copy of this ARC. The opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own. Thank you to WW Norton & Company, NetGalley, and the author for the opportunity to read this novel. Pub. Date: June 9, 2023. #book #books #bookstagram

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This is a story about moving through tragic circumstances, past blame and resentment, and finally arriving at forgiveness, gratitude and peace. It is heartbreaking but beautiful, and redefines how to find meaning in an ordinary life by being of service to others. Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

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'When people are trying to survive, they don't thrive'.

This is the story of Tom Lowe and his fall. His literal fall from a roofing job, leaving him in chronic pain and addicted to painkillers, and his metaphorical fall from the 'perfect' life he had built. He is a broken man. After all, he didn't deserve this. He worked all hours to provide for his family, keep on top of his mortgage and build his wife's dream house. He's even studied at college. Yet, somehow people look at him as some type of, 'degenerate and not a man with an education and the skills to build.' All Tom wants to do now is find a way to get back his car and see his estranged son for his twentieth birthday. It's a two-hour journey away, but it's a revelation on life and living.

'Such Kindness' is about finding kindness in everyday life. It highlights the tension between being a 'giver' and a 'taker' of being 'worthy' as opposed to feeling 'entitled'. 'I've been waiting for...apologies and restitutions from everyone who had a hand in delivering me to what I thought was a useless life.' Instead of living a life martyred to the problems which seem to weigh upon us, we need to just live the life we are dealt with. 'I have not been playing my hand at all, I've been rejecting it.' In spite of life's curve balls, we need to be gracious for the life that we have and the others within it. 'These good things that have been happening, they've come because my recent misfortunes have forced me to pick up my hand and actually look at it'.

This is a very thought-provoking book that cascades light on humanity and one man’s journey toward a deeper understanding of himself and the world to which he belongs. At times Tom's story meanders, however, the lulls give time to mull over and digest the words and distill meaning. Small pebbles of epiphanies drop throughout the book, landing in a pool of consciousness, which ripple with deeper understanding. I believe that anyone who read this book would discover value and personal takeaways from it.

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A moving novel that kept my interest from the first page to the last. Tom Lowe is on the path to redemption, but the path is not without huge boulders that slow his way. Andre Dubus is not afraid of putting emotion on the page. I can't wait to talk to him on Writers on Writing next Friday.

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A novel that really teeters on the edge between heart-rending and cloying. Tom Lowe Jr., 54, a carpenter/builder, has been disabled for years. A fall from the roof of his own house, surgeries, pain in his hips, an addiction to painkillers, being caught in a disastrous subprime loan, and he has lost his wife, lost meaningful touch with his son soon to turn 20, is living in Section 8 housing, with nothing left to his name except for his monthly disability checks. A keenly observed work about those at the bottom of society, below working-class where everything is impossible, where having a cellphone is a luxury, where others look down on you without even knowing your story. Still it teeters, even as it compels, with Tom being affected by more and more terrible events, a rash of them that surely would make most people simply give up. And yet from this, Tom finds the strength to change his views, taking stock of himself, locating generosity and kindness and giving, a parable perhaps of what it takes to survive with nothing in a hard-hearted America.

Thanks to Netgalley and W.W. Norton for an ARC.

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Tom is depressed, he knows this and he also knows why he’s in this state. He once had it all: he and his family lived in the house of his dreams, a house he’d built himself; he was married to a loving wife, who he absolutely adored; he had a young son he could eventually endow with the skills he’d accumulated and then perfected. But now he has nothing. He lives in squalid conditions in a small subsidised apartment, unable to work and barely getting by financially. His wife is long gone, now married to a rich and successful guy who Tom has never even had a conversation with. His son, too, is practically estranged, away at college with their contact limited to the occasional email exchange.

It all went wrong when Tom had an accident. As a self-employed carpenter he was working on a roof, something he was used to, but on this day he inexplicably fell. The resulting physical damage cost him his livelihood and, eventually, his house and his marriage. He puts the blame firmly in the hands of firstly the bank who lent him so much money that he’d found himself under increasing pressure to work long hours to meet the mortgage repayments. Secondly, he hates the insurance company who refused to pay out following the accident, as he’d fallen behind on his monthly payments. Thirdly, he resents Big Pharma because he was in so much pain following his required operations that he became addicted to pain killers. Yes, Tom definitely believes that he’s the victim of this wicked triumvirate.

To rub salt in the wound, Tom has now had his car impounded and fines levied which he’s unable to pay. So now he has no transport. All of this information in conveyed early on leaving Tom stewing over what he’s failed at, what he’s lost and who he blames. His downward spiral appears to have now hit rock bottom. But no, he's to find that there’s still further to go. It’s tempting to think that this whole tale of woe is something that is not only depressing for the unfortunate hero of this tale but also for the reader too. But that’s not really the case. The facts are laid out succinctly and in a matter of fact way and yet there is a sense that something interesting is around the corner for this man.

I won’t go in to how things play out from here, other than to say that a small act of kindness manages to make a huge difference to how Tom starts to interpret his situation. There’s a lot in this story about love and loss and what’s really important in life and what isn’t. There’s also a telling moment when Tom’s now ex-wife questions how those who struggle to simply survive can’t possibly turn their attention to how they might grow and prosper? It’s obvious that these people simply aren’t able to thrive like those offered an abundance of help and support. It’s such an obvious point, and yet it was something of a light bulb moment for me, it caused me to question some of my own perceptions about people I’ve met and about whom I’ve potentially made false judgements .

This story put me in mind of a character from Tom Wolfe’s novel A Man in Full. In Wolfe’s book, a character called Conrad Hensley comes into the possession of a book written by Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus, whilst serving prison time. As a result something clicks for him, he sees a way in which he can not only endure but also thrive. It gives Conrad a framework for thinking and acting. Both novels adopt a similar theme and although they take very different routes, each story had a significant impact on me. I cared for both of these characters and I wanted something better for them. And if they couldn’t achieve more I at least wanted them to find a better way of coping, of seeing their circumstances in a different light.

If I have one problem with this tale, it’s that Tom’s moment of clarity comes courtesy of an act of charity, an act unbidden and somewhat surprising. From this point not only does he behave differently to people he meets but they also behave differently toward him – or at least that’s his perception. The change in attitude on both sides is now universal. Does this reflect real life? Well perhaps to a degree, but I’m not sure it’s ever quite so black and white as depicted here.

Dubus has written a number of very fine novels and short stories and also a wonderful memoir, Townie, in which he details his early life growing up in tough New England towns. Perhaps he’s overshadowed somewhat by his father – an outstanding essayist and short story writer – but he really shouldn’t be overlooked. I recommend his work to anyone who enjoys a book that stirs the emotions, one that’ll leave you thinking long after you’ve finished the last page.

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Tom Lowe falls from a three story roof and his life is never the same. After multiple surgeries he gets addicted to pain pills, loses his home, his wife and son because she won't follow him on his descent down the bottomless pit.
Somehow, he finds the tools and a way to pull himself out of the abyss. He learns to live with chronic pain and make a life through acceptance and helping others. This book is full of compassion and gentleness for the people we walk by every day that are down on their luck. It is difficult to read in places and very philosophical. I think this would make an I'deal book club selection because there is so much to discuss.

My thanks to WW Norton and Netgalley for this advanced readers copy.

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Most of us live on the lip of a void, one step away from disaster.

A fall leads to loss of work, which leads to loss of home. Constant pain leads to addiction to opioids and alcohol. And then comes the loss of your family, unwilling to continue the fall with you.

Who is to blame? The hospital doctors who couldn’t repair your broken body? The broker who sold you the bad mortgage and took the house you built with your own hands? The man who slept with your wife and took her from you?

All you know is that you are left with nothing but anger, pain and loss and blame, but especially anger at the people who did this to you.

Tom Lowe won’t stop striving. He had worked nonstop to build his wife, born to abundance, the perfect house. Now, he is determined to find a gift for his son’s twentieth birthday. But his fall never seems to end. Having lost his health, his career, his house, his wife and child, he losses his car and his phone, too. Walking through the bitter snow, sockless in old work boots, his hips flaring in pain with every step, he strives. He is determined to be there for his son.

Tom is surrounded by others trapped in poverty. He becomes a fatherly friend to a young mother. Tom pulled himself from poverty by hard work–until things went awry– but she remains trapped. He wants to protect her from the abusive boyfriend and the man who is committing a crime.

Learning that his son is in danger, Tom sets off to go to him. He must rely on the help of strangers. He is shown kindness.

And he changes. He begins to accept the life he has and the people in this life.

Compassionate yet gritty, this story reminds us of the false values that drive us to bad decisions, the value of kindness, and the freedom of acceptance.

I received a free egalley from the publisher through NetGalley. My review is fair and unbiased.

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“Such Kindness” is an emotionally wrenching book that I could not put down.
Tom, the main character has lost his family, his home, his livelihood, and is in great physical pain due to an accident.
The moral dilemmas he faces in his attempts to turn his life around are staggering.
His vulnerability and compassion are beautifully described.
I highly recommend this amazing novel.

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I thought I had completed an extensive review of this book but I seem to have lost it. I feel the author as usual deals with a tremendous amount of compassion in his telling of a story of a man who defined himself through his work. But apart from a few excellent characterizations,I didn’t feel there was enough motion in the novel to engage me. The main character is sympathetic and goes through an arc of redemption which seems somewhat forced and questionable. But not much else happens in the book. It’s an excellent character study with very little emphasis on the plot. I also felt we were reminded of Tom’s injury far too many times.b the pain hebisnin is understandable,does the reader need to be reminded about it over and over again?

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Andre Dubus III's new book focuses on many of his same themes of belonging and identity. Such Kindness features Tom Lowe - a man who (like man men) has tied his identity to his ability to provide and his livelihood. He has built his family's dream house but in the process of building, he falls. The injury begins a cycle of turbulence and poor choices as he is quickly addicted to painkillers and begins to make more and more poor choices.

The book is more about the people he comes into contact with and how they impact his life. Unlike many of Dubus's stories, this is one with a woven through with a ribbon of hope. If you like contemporary stories, books about identity and the long journey to find it, or just are a lover of the wordsmith ability of Andre Dubus III, Such Kindness is for you! #Suchkindness #andreadubusIII #wwnorton

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Such Kindness
A Novel
by Andre Dubus III

This book will break your heart in so many ways. Tom Lowe is a broken man, he fell off his roof. He became addicted to pain meds. Lost his home he built by hand, lost his wife and child. He becomes a ward 8 man living in low-income housing. His neighbor Trina is a train wreck. This book will show and make you look at the less fortunate in a better way. I loved how this novel broke my heart, but how kind Tom Lowe truly is to everyone. Beautiful novel.

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