Witty, hilarious, and charming.

This book blew me away but it took me a while to immerse myself into the story. Walter reminds me a lot of about the men I grew up around: very dependent on their wives and can't function without them. It's infuriating at times and I totally understand the kids but I feel bad at the same time.

Good book that will capture your attention from the beginning and not let you go throughout the whole book.

One morning Herr Schmidt wakes to find that his wife Barbara has fallen. She returns to bed for days, leaving him to fend for himself (and care for her) for the first time in his life. As he learns to navigate the tasks he has taken for granted, starting with defrosting Barbara's premade meals and learning to make a cup of coffee, he also discovers a love for cooking, reforms a relationship with his children, begins to use Facebook, and just generally steps outside of his rigid experience, all while Barbara most certainly isn't dying. This isn't a feel-good novel that leaves everyone all happy and lovely at the end; there are actually some pretty sinister things lurking in the past that Herr Schmidt also has to confront, leading up to a pretty bittersweet ending. 3.5 stars rounded to 4

This is my first book by Alina Bronsky and it was amazing. A sad story of a man coming out of his box while his wife dwindles away.

Barbara Isn’t Dying by Alina Bronsky was a difficult book to read. I picked it looking for a humourous story but didn’t find that. Walter Schmidt is a grumpy old man who is difficult to like, even though in the end he does show quite a bit of compassion. I found the story depressing and confusing. The end had me baffled.

This wasn’t quite the novel I was hoping for.

This review is based on a complimentary copy from Europa Editions via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

#Barbaraisn’tDying #Netgalley

Translated from the German, this quirky novel will quickly engage you with the main character. Walter comes across as a rather controlling, misogynistic husband and father, but as you read further in the book, you come to realize that Walter seems to feel trapped in his lifelong roles and begins to question himself. And what exactly is wrong with Barbara? We never really find out.

I really loved this book. The family drama aspect is so present, yet not overpowering. Many women have thought to themselves as they watch their husbands fumble with daily tasks "what if something happened to me? What would you do?" This book answers that.

𝑯𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏’𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓. 𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒂𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒂𝒓𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒂 𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒘.

Walter Schmidt has coffee every morning, because his wife Barbara makes it for him, but life as he knows it is about to end. Barbara isn’t dying, he tells us himself she is healthy as a horse, but when he finds her, she isn’t doing well at all. It’s his turn, finally, to make coffee and to take on all the tasks and chores, the care she has provided for him and so many others. If anyone is the unsung hero, it’s her. Truth be told, all of that has always been Barbara’s business. Walter reminds me of a different generation, great uncles my mother has shared stories about, men who behaved as if their wives and children were just people to tolerate, when really, it’s the women who were the strength, the source that kept family and marriage going. Barbara is the pulse, and now that she has become weakened, infirm, it is time Walter has his eyes opened.

He is like a child, quite capable but stubborn as hell. His wife’s life isn’t so easy, here she was dragging his weight, and other hidden sorrows we learn about later, and yet she is popular with the locals, which becomes obvious as he meets strangers inquiring after her. Too, she raised their children, I’m convinced it wasn’t ever Walter elbows deep in dirty diapers. Through every interaction, the reader learns how he sees the world as if muddied, how different he is from her. She is one of those people who gets on with things, who makes the world and its people better for having known her. She is well loved, people fret over her, but he doesn’t seem to know his wife half as well as strangers. In fact, he has taken his comforts and her nurturing for granted. The saddest truth about this story is that Barbara likely wasted so much time carrying weight that wasn’t hers to bear alone!

Life is one big hassle for him, which is strange considering Barbara took care of everything. It is sweet when he takes on nursing her, but can the poor woman even relax in the stage of “not dying”? Yes, Barbara was always in the process of changing, she had to as it seemed she was doing it all. Funny how he exonerates himself for his divided attention throughout the decades, because he was a busy man, as if she wasn’t being pulled from all direction, no wonder she is rundown and ‘not dying’. That ending is why I really enjoy Alina Bronsky’s work, there is always more story. It was a good read, even if Walter was tuned out and selfish for so long.

Published May 9, 2023

Europa Editions

Definitely a "grumpy old man" novel. Herr Schmidt is easy to dislike, but similar to novels like A Man Called Ove, he grows on you and shows his heart even though he doesn't mean to. Barbara is dying, and Schmidt refuses to see or believe it and spends lots of time grousing because she is "laying about." But soon he is cooking for her (something he has never done) and is following You Tube videos and asking social media for help in preparing her favorite foods in his attempts to get her to eat something. He softens in other more meaningful was as well. This is a sad book with a few light-hearted spots and is a solid read. I was enjoying this, but it ended very abruptly. So abruptly that I'm still not convinced a part is not missing from the file I was sent. If this is the correct ending, I'm a bit disappointed :( Thank you NetGalley and publishers for providing a digital ARC for review.

Thanks to NetGalley & Europa for the advance read of this book in exchange for an honest review.

"Barbara Isn't Dying" is the story about Walter Schmidt (or Herr Schmidt as he's referred to throughout the book) and how he is forced to change his life after his wife gets sick and starts deteriorating. Suddenly, he has to learn to cook and clean and do all the "feminine" tasks his wife had done for over five decades.

Walter Schmidt is rude (he would probably say blunt or just honest), sexist and racist. And yet, there is something compelling in the way his story was written that it made me keep reading. I struggled to stop reading this. Each page brought new layers to Walter's character, new questions for the reader, and a fuller understanding of the situation Walter found himself in.

It was an excellent read. I did however drop a star because I wasn't satisfied by the ending.

Humor can be tough to pull-off, but this author does a nice job, and created an interesting story and fun characters. Recommended.

Thanks very much for the copy for review!!

It was hard to finish reading this book, so to say it’s was very boring. Following the vision of an old man that on the first moment that his wife, married for 52 years, become suddenly ill and can’t do the house chores sounded interesting, but soon it made me sad.

It doesn’t matter that Herr Schmidt is an elderly - whose try to be written like Ove (Fredrik Backman). Schmidt doesn’t have charisma and this comments of other people are very discriminating. I don’t know why I insistined in finishing the book. He evolves to become a independent person and do the things his wife can’t do to them both survive, but the subcontext of it is full of grudge and evil coments.

“Barbara Isn’t Dying” isn’t a book which I would read again. Even for myself and other people living with the elderly persons like him, I wouldn’t recommend the book to them. Besides that, thanks Netgalley and Europa Editions form the ARC anyway.

I’ve watched for newly translated books by Alina Bronsky for years, ever since her novel The Hottest Dishes of the Tartar Cuisine knocked my socks off. No one else writes with her acid humor about characters who obliviously march through life with firm convictions that they are absolutely doing things the right way. Barbara Isn’t Dying Yet is very much in the same vein and is one of the most appallingly funny things I’ve read in a long time. Readers whose humor swings towards the dry end of things will enjoy this one.

Walter Schmidt is a man who is very concerned with making sure that he and his family do things the normal, German way. There are hints in the novel that Walter’s mother set him firmly on the path when he was young, in the wake of World War II. Eastern accents—especially Russian ones—are scrubbed out. Comfort foods from the East are replaced with staunchly German cuisine. It’s very important to Walter that he and his family do nothing that anyone else might comment on. Walter’s wife, Barbara, who also comes from the East, is the one who did a lot of that work. And Walter isn’t shy about admitting that he was the one who made Barbara into the perfect German wife. These moments aren’t comfortable reading. Thankfully, Walter’s bullying is balanced with the comedy that follows the morning when Barbara falls and isn’t able to make Walter’s coffee for the first time in five decades.

The morning that Walter finds his wife on the floor, bleeding from a head wound, is the morning that changes everything. Grumbling and full of bewildered resentment, Walter becomes the one who is expected to cook, clean, and keep everything in order. He has relied on Barbara so much that he doesn’t know how to make coffee. He doesn’t know how to cook an egg or even boil a potato. He can barely thaw things from the freezer. Bronsky gets a lot of mileage with Walter’s frustration with everyone’s vague directions in basic recipes. How is he supposed to know when a potato is done? How is he supposed to know how much coffee to put in the machine? What on earth does a pinch or a handful or whatever measure is supposed to mean? Fair points and thankfully Walter discovers a cooking show and the chef’s Facebook community to learn how to cook for himself and Barbara.

Even though our narrator Walter is deluding himself about his wife’s condition and what being a good caretaker really is, we readers can easily read the lines. Barbara isn’t going to get better and Walter is being an idiot to not accept help. His children (who drive him insane) barge in to make sure that Barbara goes to the doctor and that Walter eventually finds someone to help keep up the house. Walter’s insistence on normalcy is his life preserver as everything changes around him.

Reading Barbara Isn’t Dying Yet made me wonder about the people who wake up one morning only to realize that they can’t go on like normal anymore. The lucky ones will have obnoxious people in their lives who refuse to let them drown. The luckier ones will have interfering friends and relatives and enough money to get professional help. And maybe the luckiest are like the fiercely normal Walter, who finds a bit of joy in cooking and the strength to finally adapt to their new circumstances.

3.,5/5

“Walter Schmidt has lived his whole life within the narrow, “comfortable” confines of traditional gender roles: he has made it to retirement without learning how to fry an egg or use a vacuum cleaner. After all, he could always count on his wife, Barbara. But when one morning she can’t get up from bed anymore, everything changes.”
Barbara Isn’t Dying is the story of Walter Schmitt, who has to start fending for himself when his wife becomes unwell and takes to her bed. It’s an unusual story, with some clever ideas, but it’s one of those books where not a great deal really happens. I don’t want to say much, as it will end up being a spoiler, so we’ll just called it odd. It felt a bit like the author presumed you knew the characters already. (runs to the internet to check this isn’t the case!)
That isn’t to say I didn’t like it. Walter is not the nicest of people, but it was fun to see him learn to cook, take care of his wife and become almost famous. He doesn’t say too much about it, but it is clear he was not always nice to his wife and children. All of whom are bit parts really – this is very much about Walter. It ended quite abruptly. He goes out to do “this thing” and then it ends with no explanation of the consequences of it.
It was funny in places, sad in others and it is quite short (192 pages) I’d recommend if you want something quick to read.

This book was a solid three stars for me: I enjoyed it enough while I was reading it, but I didn't miss or think about it when I didn't have it in front of me, and I wasn't sorry when it ended.

I was originally drawn to Barbara Isn't Dying for its vibrant cover, intriguing description, and the publisher's comparison of the author to Shirley Jackson, one of my all-time favorites. (To be honest, I'm not sure what that's based on - I don't see meaningful overlap in their writing styles, genre preferences, or storytelling choices.)

Ultimately, I felt that the characters fell semi-flat for me, despite the book being a character study. While I felt some sympathy (along with a good deal of irritation) towards Walter, I didn't feel particularly connected to or invested in him. This is a controversial opinion, but the book left me feeling the same way as Bonnie Garmus's breakout novel Lessons in Chemistry - I know most people adored that book, but I felt it was frustratingly surface-level and that the story it conveyed would be far better served in a TV format. (So I'm excited for the Hulu adaptation!) Along the same lines, I could see Barbara Isn't Dying being adapted into a compelling mini-series - I really like the idea behind it, but I wasn't a big fan of its book-based execution.

Thanks to Europa Editions and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for my honest review.

A short read that I found entertaining in parts but also confusing in others. There were some great characters throughout this story that I thought would have been more involved in Walter Schmidt's life and character development but we didn't get to know them at all.

I appreciate that Walter was able to find a love of cooking for Barbara even though it seems as though it wasn't the right way to support her in her health decline. All we know is that she IS dying (not dead yet!), but we're not sure of what or how Walter can make her life better. It is left for us to speculate about. I do feel bad for Barbara because it seems as though her life hasn't been that fulfilling outside of fulfilling standard gender roles inside of the home.

This book does remind me a little bit of "A Man Called Ove" with less plot and character(s), but it was fun seeing how I could relate to an older parent through the eyes of Walter's 2 children. Walter starts to use Facebook, develop relationships outside of his regular bowling friends and even reconnects with someone who is very important to him.

Good book if you're looking for an easy read that you can connect with on various emotional levels!

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a preview of "Barbara Isn't Dying" by Aline Bronsky.

A warm and quirky story about a husband who must change in order to be his wife' caregiver when she is ill. The help he must ask for and connections he makes show the power of friendship and community in a satisfying way. Humorous and poignant, Recommended for fans of "A Man Called Ove" and books about relationships. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

An enjoyable, albeit sad story about an old man who is living in utter denial about his wife’s pending death. The author makes his reasons plausible and understandable. For the longest time while reading this, I was hoping beyond hope that Barbara was play acting so that her husband would start to do more things around the house instead of depending totally on her… So I guess that was my own denial in action! The only thing I did not like about this was at the ending was way too abrupt for me.

There is much positivity here about the power of community and family, in spite of being pushed away, to provide support in times of need.

Thanks to NetGalley, the author, and publisher for an advanced reading copy of this book in exchange, for my honest review.

This book reminded me of A Man Called Ove. It's about a curmudgeonly German named Walter Schmidt, owner of a sweet German Shepherd named Helmut, and married for 53 years to Barbara, who is not well.

Schmidt finds her on the bathroom floor one night, cleans her up and puts her back in the bed, and goes about trying to manage without her. She had always done all the cooking, housework and social contacts. Barbara sleeps a lot and doesn't eat. Out of necessity, and with the help of a computer and some helpful people, Schmidt manages to learn to cook and to feed himself and Barbara.

Despite his children's attempts, he refuses to allow Barbara to go to a hospital. Instead, he behaves as if everything is normal, ignoring the good wishes of neighbors and friends. In the process, he refuses to recognize the insights that come to his mind. This little novel is humorous, deftly drawn, and a joy to read. The ending is surprising, but really couldn't be any other way.

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for this translated from the German and charming book in return for an honest review.