Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for granting me free access to the advanced digital copy of this book.

Damned If You Do explores themes of morality, justice, and the consequences of our actions. It tackles challenging topics such as childhood physical and mental abuse and neglect. The novel challenges us to question our own assumptions and beliefs. Brown prompts readers to consider the complex nature of human behavior and the extent to which one is willing to go in order to protect their loved ones or achieve their goals. My thanks to Netgalley and the Publishers for my advance Reader Copy. This is my honest review.

"Damned If You Do" by Alex Brown is a gripping and thought-provoking exploration of ethical dilemmas, moral ambiguity, and the complexities of human decisions. Brown skillfully crafts a narrative that plunges readers into a world where the lines between right and wrong blur, forcing characters to confront their beliefs and grapple with the consequences of their actions. The book cleverly navigates through intricate scenarios, inviting readers to contemplate the layers of ethical challenges faced by the characters. With compelling storytelling and nuanced character development, "Damned If You Do" engages readers in a riveting and introspective journey, challenging perceptions and leaving them questioning their own moral compass long after the final chapter.

For those who always feel like something has been missing, maybe they too made a deal with their guidance counselor/local demon. Despite having some proper spooky moments, this book made me laugh at the relatable theatre problems surrounding the main character. For anyone interested in queer horror, this book is going to be your next favourite read,

https://lesbrary.com/damned-if-you-do-by-alex-brown/

Filled with imagery and stories from Filipino folklore, Damned If You Do follows high school stage manager Cordelia Scott, as she prepares to put on the annual school play, struggles with passing her classes and imagining a future for herself, and tries to push down her not-so-subtle crush on her childhood best friend, Veronica. After having sold her soul to a demon seven years prior, in a last-ditch effort to get her abusive father to leave her and her mother alone, that very demon comes back demanding that Cordelia return the favour and help him save her hometown.

At the cusp of perfectly entertaining horror comedy and peak YA fiction, this book dares to ask the question: what if your dad was such a terrible person that a demon with a habit for bad puns replaced him as your father figure and managed to be significantly better at parenting?

I think the tone and narrative voice of this novel is so perfectly aimed at its YA audience. Brown clearly knows how to expertly meld entertaining high school drama with deep-set family trauma, folding it all into a fun yet heart wrenching story. A book that can make you chuckle out loud while tears are actively streaming down your face is one worth picking up.

I really enjoyed the romance between Cordelia and Veronica. I don’t actually remember the last time I rooted so wholeheartedly for a book couple to get together, but their relationship was the perfect amount of pining, confusion, and “ride-or-die” friendship, so I couldn’t help but fall in love with them. I had so much fun with this book that I finished it within a day; I found myself simply unable to put it down.

Horror comedy sometimes falls flat for me, in that it focuses so much on making the characters “funny” that you lose a lot of the substance of the horror genre. But this book manages to keep up with the witty inner dialogue and conversational tone throughout the story, without letting everything fall so deep into the “comedy” aspect that it misses out on any depth or analysis. There’s a fascinating discussion in here surrounding trauma and father figures that really molds itself through the character development, and that really grounds you as a reader into the general message and theme of love and survival.

I also greatly appreciated the way that Brown didn’t shy away from addressing the very real effects that abuse from a parental figure can have on a child, and exploring all those complex feelings that creep up within you no matter how much you try to ignore them. Our main character struggles so much with feelings of guilt, regret, anger, and frustration, and the story really gives her that space to finally deal with all those emotions and face them head-on.

Of course, I will always adore a sapphic final girl who feels like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders, and it’s so easy to become instantly attached to Cordelia. This is the perfect book for someone who loves completely oblivious sapphics (and I mean completely oblivious), or someone who wants a fresh new take on the exploration of queerness through monstrosity in a way that is loving and positive instead of filled with repressed shame.

Representation: sapphic, biracial, Filipina main character and love interest

Trigger warnings: child abuse, violence, gore, blood, depictions of verbal abuse, mentions of physical abuse

Book Summary:

Cordelia Scott's life finally got back on track when she turned seventeen. That's the year her father walked out of her life – and it's for the best, really. Unfortunately, her life isn't exactly going to stay normal.

As it turns out, there's a reason her father suddenly disappeared. She may or may not have (accidentally) made a deal with the devil. She was finally liberated from her abusive dad in exchange for part of her soul. But now Cordelia needs to find herself a way out of this situation.

My Review:

Ohhh! Buffy the Vampire meets Filipino folklore: where do I sign up?!? Seriously, Damned If You Do is a unique, compelling, and delightful read. I cannot recommend it enough. This is the perfect balance if you're looking for something familiar yet different.

I know the whole guidance-counselor-is-secretly-evil trope has been done before, but it works well in Damned If You Do. It's the perfect foundation to kick off a drastic (and dangerous) change in Cordelia's life.

Did I mention that there are a lot of great quotes in Damned If You Do? Because there are. That alone makes this book a blast and a half to read. So, if you love snarky or sarcastic lines, this book is for you.

Highlights:
Horror Comedy
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Vibes
Filipino Folklore
LGBT+

Trigger Warnings:
Child Abuse (mentioned)
Fire

Thanks to Page Street Kids and #NetGalley for making this book available for review. All opinions expressed are my own.

im obsessed with this book oh my god !!
it definitely gave me those buffy vibes but better!! it was so funny and the characters were great. i especially loved the main character, Cordelia!!

thank you NetGalley for the e-ARC!

🦌 this YA horror paranormal is a debut novel, and you must add it to your TBR, especially if you like shape-shifting demons and something Filipino-authored to read this August! 

🦌 the story follows Cordelia, a Filipino-American teen, and her attempt to outrun her traumatic childhood, keeping her feelings for her best friend to herself and being the best stage manager on their upcoming school theater play. 

🦌 despite the witty, entertaining comebacks from the demons and the teens, the story delves deep into the strength and courage we have within ourselves. How prepared are we to call the shots, despite how difficult it is, our ability to call for help, and having faith that aid will come, eventually.

🦌 content warnings: child abuse, relieving of traumatic experiences, grief, mutilation, violence, possession.

High-concept yet immensely readable, this book crackles with wit and deviltry. Brown's characters are sharply drawn and the introduction of Filipino folklore to a more traditional "town in need of saving" adds flavor.

Cordelia lives in a town known for allegedly making a deal with a demon a hundred years ago. Now every year on Deal Day, everyone tries to make their own deal. Cordy is shocked to find out that seven years ago, she did actually make a deal, and now that demon is calling in what she owes. It turns out her new guidance counselor, Fred, is actually the demon she made a deal with, and he wants her help to trap an even more dangerous demon.

I really enjoyed this one! I think it took a little to get into, and I had put it to the side for a bit. But then, really once Cordy accepts to help Fred, it really picks up! It definitely has some creepy scenes, especially with the binding ceremony. But I think that added well to its vibe. There was also good character growth, even with side characters. I do wish a bit more had been done with Cordy and her mom's relationship. It felt like that was just tacked on at the end. Otherwise, this is a fun, captivating romp involving demons, aswangs, and more!

I received my copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

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Notes
Damned if you do review
77
Because demon hunting is always fun.



Song Vibe Check:
"Cheerleader" By: Ashnikko
"There will be blood" By: Kim Petras
"Little girl gone" By: Chinchilla

Note: Thank you to tbrandbeyond tours for the chance to participate in this book tour!!

Normally, I would be the sort of person to skip out on horror books since it is not a genre I gravitate towards, but after reading Alex Brown's short story in the Gathering Dark and loving the witty, sarcastic and boom in your face writing that grabs you by the throat and makes you want to read more... then you can guess how much I cheered when I got the chance to read Damned if you do early!

So, here we go.

Short summary: The resident lesbian stage manager accidentally made a deal with the devil and now needs to pay her dues-- or die trying.

Long Summary:Queer Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Filipino folklore in this horror comedy about a high school stage manager who accidentally sells her soul to a demon.


Seven years ago, Cordelia Scott’s abusive father left without a word, and life has been normal ever since. The seventeen-year-old spends her days stage managing the school play (which is going great, if anyone asks), pining over her best friend, Veronica, and failing one too many pop quizzes.


She’s never been sad that her father left, but she knows something is...missing. When her school guidance counselor, Fred, reveals during a session that he’s actually a demon, she learns that something is indeed a piece of her actual soul. Why? She unwittingly made a deal with him to make her father disappear – then bargained to have the memory erased. To make matters worse, Fred is here to make another Help him with a “little” demonic problem, or she’s doomed to spend eternity in Hell with her father.

The deal? Help Fred neutralize a rival demon, who means to do more harm in her hometown than your average demon deal.

This has easily become one of my favorite books of the year. With the wry humor, the amazing chapter titles that are on a brand new level of sarcasm and a shady legend in a small town while demon hunting, falling in love and making sure to not fall apart in the process, Cordelia's journey was a huge rollercoaster but easily, a worthy one as this is one of the few books I would want to come back to and read again.

And hey, we love spooky reads before October.

Overall: 5/5 stars

Damned If You Do is a dramatic high school adventure full of literal drama (thespians abound!) that also wraps in bits of Filipino folklore. If paranormal YA is your jam, I'd put this book on your tbr.

While some of the characterization feels flat or rushed at times, the book doesn't actually cover too large of a time period so that is understandable. A quirky demonic guidance counselor, a budding romance, yet another demon, and plenty of the chaos that comes with high school tech week is wrapped up in a small-town setting with a main character that has to deal with a resurgence from her past. Witty and fast-paced the writing can occasionally feel rough and repetitive, but the story does have heart.

I have to give up, and DNF this title because I just cannot seem to care about the plot. It doesn't seem new or fresh and the main character just grates on my nerves.

This was a delight! A super campy horror that definitely gave the Buffy vibes that were promised. The characters were fun and believable, and the lore was really entertaining. Underneath however, is a meaningful exploration of what happens when you grow up with an abusive parent.

As soon as I heard of this book I knew I needed to read it. I didn’t care about anything except the part that called it “horror.” For whatever reason I have been in my horror bag lately, so it doesn’t matter what it’s about lol If it’s labeled as horror and its diverse, then I’m good. And so I was super happy to see that I was approved for it via Netgalley. Super happy to report it didn’t disappoint.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that horror is just a throw away genre. I learned things about the Filipino culture from this book. Granted they were mythical creatures, but they were still cool and I’d never heard of them before. I even doubled back and did some extra research so I would know what to say if I was asked by my co-workers when I started recommending this book. This is why I was so hype for this tho. Learning about other’s folklore is so amazing.

I was a little hesitant about the plot tho. Most of the horror books I’ve read lately have been about demons or possession. But I shouldn’t have worried. I was so into this. I remember reading it non-stop while I was supposed to be in webinars and everything. It was so good. I haven’t read Alex Brown’s work before, but I went back and added all her work that was coming out or the anthologies she was already in already. Brown definitely made this trope her own. I quickly realized I had nothing to worry about.

In that same vein, her writing style was great too. I loved her plays on words lol Like how Florida was hell? That was hilariously accurate. And the way she handled the religion in her story. I thought it was a bit religion heavy because the demons, but at no point did it feel preachy. Normally I don’t like religion in books, but it helped that this wasn’t all the book was about. And the dact that this was called horror comedy made me question what it was in book form, but I thought this worked really well. But because it was also funny, it just wasn’t scary at all lol

I did want more from the fight scenes tho. It was like a few paragraphs long and that was it. It was just like not long enough. And when it got to the main one, it was just like the others. I just wanted more. I mean they did all of this with the theater kids. And like I’m all for the arts. but I didn’t really believe they could win against those things lol

The last thing about this I wanted to talk about is the main character. As a character driven reader, I was trying to figure out why I didn’t like her but I was still so into this book lmao I think it was the love interest I actually liked, because the main character got on my nerves. I wanna say it was because she just did things. That was exactly what got her into this mess, so I couldn’t imagine why she was doing the same thing lol It was just like she didn’t learn anything. It was weird lol Her character growth was entirely too slow for my liking.

I was at war with trying to figure out how to rate this. I went back and forth on many different ratings. But that’s how I know I’ve stumbled across a really good book. If I have to actively think about things, I know it’s one I really enjoyed.

I so love Buffy the vampire slayer when growing up. This is how I got hooked on the summary of this book. I really did liked it and it was a fun read. The characters where fun and the story action packed. The cover is very pretty. Thanks again for the review copy. Looking forward to more book by page street ya.

Damned If You Do is definitely a fun and chaotic urban fantasy, with equal parts horror and comedy. It follows Cordelia as she discovers she made a deal with a demon and lost a part of her soul to get rid of her abusive father. Cordelia has her hands full with being the stage manager for the theatre club’s upcoming play, crushing on her best friend and studying for pop quizzes but now she also has to get rid of the town’s little demonic problem to fulfill her end of the bargain.

This story took one for the team and gave us the full theater production drama and snarky demons trying to wreak havoc. I really liked how Brown played with the history of the town for the premise of the story. Making deals with the devil, intentional or accidental, has always been a thing and that’s how Cordelia lands up in her current predicament, with Fred the demon she made a deal with, posing as her guidance counsellor. Fred is quirky and the perfect father figure for these dramatic teenagers even though you don’t know if you can trust him.

While saving the town is initially on Cordelia, soon her fellow theater kids get roped into the ordeal of facing demonic powers. They form her support system and that friendship development is heartwarming to witness. To top it all of, Cordelia is pining over Veronica, her literal partner in crime, which she believes to be unrequited but is it after all?

The inclusion of Filipino folklore honestly made the story even more fun. We have stories about mythological creatures and Cordelia dealing with said creatures! Aswangs are as interesting as they’re scary. And of course, the biracial rep we deserve.

All in all, Cordelia’s humorous monologues and the epic battle scenes make Damned If You Do a fun read. Because while most of this book deals with demons literally, it’s also about Cordy facing her own inner demons and letting go of the guilt holding her back.

Damned If You Do was the type of book that sits with you long after the final page. This was a bold, brave, and brilliant book.

I went into this knowing very little about this book beyond the premise of a queer Buffy the Vampire Slayer meeting Filipino folklore in this horror comedy about a high school stage manager who accidentally sells her soul to a demon. That intersection of folklore and theatrical drama made me want to pick it up and the author, Alex Brown, took me completely by surprise. I was blown away by the strength of this book.

From the very first page, you have an uneasy sense sitting under your skin—that small hum of electricity when the tension begins to build. I liked how Brown manipulated the elements of a typical Faustian tale and imbues it with pathos and nuance. This is no ordinary deal with a devil, this is complicated, layered, and emotionally fraught. Brown ensures that there are tangible stakes here with bloodshed and bodies coming through, as well as the psychological horror wrecked by the manipulation of trauma. You can see the oncoming storm of destruction heading their way and you get totally swept up in its path. The pacing and tension was sublime here, causing you to devour the book and loving every second of it.

A real core focus of this book is a nuanced depiction of the aftereffects of abuse and trauma, which was excellent. Brown pours heart and soul into this, examining the minute ripple effects and the continuing ramifications of the trauma Cordelia faced. These make for some of the most horrifying sequences, which are real gut-punches. Choosing to focus your fantastical, demonic tale in a grounded, fraught and vulnerable story of trauma pays off so well. It gives you that emotional thread to hand on to and I found myself deeply invested in Cordelia and her story. The burden that she carries is immense and working through it to recognise how she should not have to carry it, with emotions redirected in unhealthy places for her, is a story that is so important to tell.

There is a definite focus on the cost of survival and the excruciating choices victims of abuse are often forced to make. That instability and elements of misplaced guilt around her survival are key parts of Cordelia’s character arc. This was easily one of the best parts of the book for me. Cordelia grows as a character so much over the book and her journey really resonated with me. Her quiet strength and drive to survive comes to the forefront, as she grapples with her trauma and learning to find a place where she can live with it. She knows it will not be banished easily, instead there is an acceptance that does not wholly define her.

Also, I loved how Brown wove in elements of Filipino folklore. This is something I knew very little about, but the book made me race off and learn so much more. This is an incredibly rich tapestry of tales that Brown draws on in creative and unexpected ways. The way it informs her narrative voice and character building is wonderful to watch unfold. My inner theatre nerd was also rejoicing with the amount of theatre content in here and Cordelia’s deep love for the artform. This was another outlet for emotional release and catharsis, an oasis of quiet peace (by comparison) in a turbulent world. In addition to this, I also loved the soft, sweet sapphic romance intertwined into the story. This provides such a comforting and heart-warming escape, growing naturally and with instant chemistry that I was invested in.

Damned If You Do is a book that balances heart-wrenching scenes with ones full of love, light, and joy. It embodies that ray of sunshine in the midst of a dark storm.

The main thing which made me want to read Damned If You Do was the promise of "Queer Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Filipino folklore". Most of what I know about the vampire slayer is very surface level so I can't really comment on that. The Filipino folklore however, was something I was very excited to see.

Imagine finding out the town you live in has been built on top of peoples' deals with a demon. Now imagine learning that it's been going on for the past century. Top that with finding all of this after learning your dad didn't really leave, but is currently rotting in hell.

I enjoyed reading it. I tried to see if the synopsis was playing with me: telling me Fred is a "good" demon who wanted to save the town from the bad demon who is currenty freely living amongst them.

Also, this book has sapphic representation and I'm all here for it!

The moment I noticed that this novel is queer Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Filipino folklore, I had to read it! And, I really enjoyed the overall concept of Damned If You Do. I definitely got Buffy vibes. I am sad there are no vampires in the small town of Ruin’s End. Nope, this book talks of demons, hell, and serves as a good reminder why you should be careful who you make deals🤝 with.

The DL: When Cordelia Scott was young, she made a deal with a demon to send her abusive father away. But, what was the deal? Cordelia doesn’t remember. She literally blocked this traumatic event out of her mind. As the town approaches its 100 year anniversary, the demon’s back to collect on his part of the bargain.
Cordelia is sassy and makes snarky, quick witted comments. Some of my favorite quotes:

1. “I wanted to tell her everything and nothing at the same time. She was with me when we did the summoning ritual, after all.”

2. “Taking his hand was the only way to fix my problems. So, I did. ‘You’ve got a deal.’”

3. “Hell isn’t something that you can simply walk into…It’s not like the Super Bowl.”

4. “Fred painted his rival as this dangerous entity that wanted to spread Demon Capitalism all over the world.”

5. “If heroes existed, they weren’t in Ruin’s End. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have made a deal with a demon in the first place.”

6. “I wasn’t sold on the idea that one could de-stress from a musical by singing karaoke, but traditions were traditions.”

Thank you Tbrbeyondtours and PageStreetYA for the complimentary copy of Damned If You Do by Alex Brown.