This was an emotional story, but was easy to follow and listen to. The story was pretty good, and the narrator was a good fit. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for giving me the chance to listen to and review this audiobook.

"Women, treated like emotional thermostats whether they like it or not, not only must constantly manage their own feelings but they are also held responsible for the feelings of others. When women are told to "smile" by a stranger on the street, they are being reminded of this through harassment. When women going about their business are accused of having "resting bitch face," they are being reminded of their expected constant enthusiastic performance for the benefit of the world. A man not smiling while going about a task is never told he has "resting dick face." He's likely treated as busy and important, if his expression is noted at all.” - Rose Hackman

Wow! This is an empowering exploration of the often-overlooked work that women perform daily - emotional labor. This book is deeply-researched and filled with insights from hundreds of interviews, from the corporate world to the food service industry. It is not merely an analysis of society, but a call to action, offering strategies for addressing the imbalances rooted in race, gender, and class. Additionally, I loved the narration. It was well paced, with inflections adding to the emotion of the topic.

Sincere thanks to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for an advanced listener copy in exchange for an honest review.

I was only able to finish a portion of this audiobook. I would like to get the physical copy to take notes on but couldn't keep track of everything on the audio. Thank you for the review copy!

While much of this has been covered in various feminist books of the last decade or so, this author compiles studies and original research to make the information feel fresh.

It was an OK read. It reminded me a lot of of the academic books from Feminist Studies. Its maddening how women are so undervalued and thought of as less than the male species. #NetGalley

This book was a good look on what is emotional labor and how it shows up in our day to day.

Emotional Labor was a great exploration about how it shows up in our everyday lives and the lives of others based on gender, race, and class.

I personally enjoyed this book, but felt as if the strategies to "reclaim your life" were hidden in the text. Sometimes I prefer it when these sort of things are laid out to me in the personal development books and maybe I missed it since I was listening on audio.

This one was a doozy, only because the subject matter is so illuminating that it’s frustrating! I don’t think anyone realizes just how much emotional labor goes into our everyday lives - especially as women - and this book aims to shine a light on that.

I found the research, paired with the anecdotes from people the other interviewed herself, to be very successful in proving the points the author outlined. It was helpful and reassuring to hear and know that the experiences you’re having are not unique to you. I think this read would be especially educational for an older generation less familiar with this concept.

Thanks to Macmillan Audio and NetGalley for the advanced listen!

When’s the first time you heard the word “emotional labor”?

Was is the 2017 article for Harpers Bazaar by Gemma Hartley? Or Julie Beck’s 2018 article for The Atlantic?

Well Rose Hackman wrote the book on it, and it’s fantastic.

The term “emotional labor” has been on the rise, and likely, reached its zenith during the pandemic when parents were stretched to the limit and expected to carry the burden of their children’s existence at home.

Hackman looks at a long history of emotional labor across race and social class in the context of a patriarchal white supremacist society. It is not focused on middle class white women and their comfort but looks at a broad scope of women in a larger context.

I’ve done a lot of reading on intersectional feminism and the labor distribution of households and Emotional Labor is a great addition or primer for people looking to begin to learn. I wish it had existed years ago as I stitched together all the articles to try to make sense of things.

If you’re looking to read more on similar topics, I highly recommend Pay Up and The Pain Gap, both look at pandemic life and the burden placed on mothers in the US.

This was an interesting discussion of emotional labor. The author discusses the history, scholarship, and critics of the topic. I think this work was well-rounded and thorough.

I think this book should be required reading for all cis-het white men especially and I'm not joking.

Reading this book felt extremely validating; to be honest, I've been to a lot of professional development workshops and seminars on this topic already so none of what I read in here was ground-breaking news to me. However, I'm also not claiming to be an expert on the topic or that there wasn't anything valuable in this book. There was a part in the beginning of the book, where Rose discusses how powerful a feeling it is to know you're not alone in your feelings. This perfectly encapsulated my feelings as I read this -- not only did Rose provide stellar references for further reading and include relevant summaries of them, she interviewed people from three different states, various socioeconomic, ethnic, religious and other kinds of backgrounds. She tied the research to the anecdotes and lived experiences of the people (mostly women) that she interviewed and it made the messaging that much more compelling and powerful.

It felt so validating to know that the exhaustion I feel, because of the emotional labor I have provided for so long, in both professional and personal settings, is not just "something I made up in my head." I am sure this isn't a unique experience but I grew up being told that I was too sensitive and that I had to "put a smile on" more times than I could count. The fact that Rose shared so many similar experiences and paired them with scientific studies/past research, such as the coining of "double consciousness" by W.E.B. Du Bois, made me feel seen and believed.

Besides this being a therapeutic and cathartic book, Rose also provides guidance on how to take our power back. Easier said/read than done, but I will try my best (and that's okay). I encourage everyone to read this book, as in order to alleviate the emotional labor that has historically been ascribed to women, we need awareness, acknowledgement and accountability of everyone who benefits to happen first.

Thank you for this book Rose!

This is an excellent companion book to the FairPlay method/book and will be great on it's own. Hackman covers all aspects of emotional labor, going into race relations as well as personal relationships. It gives you a lot to think about. She did a great job of narrating also.

This was informative as it was infuriating! Hackman gave me language to articulate common challenges in the workplace and home that led to really valuable conversations with colleagues and family members.

A nonfiction, interview-based account, I was pleasantly surprised by the readability, even if I did have to take breaks to process, digest, and cool down in several places!

Hackman offers well-grounded examples across all walks of life -- so many books like this center white women at the cost of a complete picture of the situation, and this was an exception!

Highly recommend, especially for those feeling like the Planner, the Organizer, the Motivator, or any other role where the heavy lifting is often unrecognized, unappreciated, or expected without explanation!

This explores the extent of emotional labor that women perform and the toll it takes on women. It takes an in-depth look at what emotional labor is, the value of emotional labor and ways to make recognition of emotional labor and its value part of the every day.

4.5

This is a clear and blunt exposure of how much emotional labour shapes communities and lives while going unrecognized and uncompensated. The author uses concrete and qualitative examples of the emotional labour primarily expected of women to illustrate her quantitative evidence, which in my opinion lends stronger credence to both.

I joked with some friends that after my first session listening to this audiobook, I felt like I wanted to fight a man. After the second chunk, I wanted to fight myself as a white woman. As a white woman, it's important to consider that the unfair expectations and experiences we have under men do not absolve us of the way our racial privileges give us the opportunity to be equally oppressive, and that point was well iterated, at least from my perspective.

While the messages are broadly applicable and there is intentional intersectionality, it is very focused on the American, female experience. There were parts focused on things like American politics, history, and law that I didn't find valuable as a non-American person. Though perhaps I should have expected that given the spelling of "labor" in the title. Still, I was a bit disappointed that a book by someone who has lived in multiple countries and cultures was so targeted to the American experience of a global issue. I also found that the chapters were much too long for my preference, particularly of non-fiction books. Those issues are comparatively minor, though, and overall I have no true reservations about this book. I am glad that I read it and will continue to talk about it with my (mostly female) friends.

I received early access to the audiobook through NetGalley and I'm excited to see how this book does. I hope it gets the eyes/ears and success it deserves.

Wow, I mean how do you even begin to describe a book that points out all those little things that you never quite were able to put your finger on and says THIS! THINGS ARE UNFAIR BECAUSE OF THIS *gestures wildly around*
I loved the book. Sometimes it made me furious, but I loved it. The points are well researched and there are multiple pages of references. I love when authors narrate their work and Rose Hackman is a great narrator. Everyone needs to read this book - it apples to home, work, relationships, basically every aspect of everything. Smash the patriarchy and give your money to women (iykyk). Thank you NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

I enjoyed this but didn't find it to be too groundbreaking. I found some interesting statistics but nothing that was too new for me. I also had hoped that it would give me more tangible ideas about how to fix the issues and it didn't really.

BOOK REVIEW

This book is coming out next week. I think many of us have heard of the mental load that women as a whole carry? This takes a look at the emotional load that is necessary in our society. Unpaid labour. The emotional load women have to carry (ie you have to smile to get tips to make your server wage a liveable wage), minorities carry (ie you’re a black woman, so you can take care of my kids or clean my house). Etc What I appreciated, and was challenged by, is the focus we’ve had on the load of middle-class white women. We fail to see the emotional labor that our hierarchy has put on minors groups.

EMOTIONAL LABOUR HAS TO BE SEEN TO BE SHARED.

Why should our gender, or our status as a minority group, serve the feelings of another group?