Four Stars

This was a very interesting memoir from a young woman named Alice Carriere who was born to successful artistic parents. Her mother was artist Jennifer Bartlett and the father was German actor Mathieu Carriere. Post divorce, Alice lived with her mother in NYC in what sounded like an amazing property featuring an upstairs bedroom with a pool and floor to ceiling windows leading out to a garden. However, her mother was distant and self-absorbed with her artwork. Alice's nanny seemed more of a mother to her, and there didn't seem to be any structure or responsibilities grounding her life. There also was a simmering sexual innuendo with the father when they would have visitations.

The book is a wild ride of Alice's psychological struggles including bouts of cutting, panic attacks, paranoia, and much more. Like her mother, Alice loved to listen to audiobooks growing up, and was fastidious about keeping journals. She clearly is a gifted writer and this was a seeringly honest and compelling read.

Thank you to the publisher Spiegel & Grau who provided an advance reader copy via NetGalley.

Alice’s story is very heartbroken. She has to go through a lot of difficulties throughout her life. At an early age Alice has to go through sexual abuse, neglect, loneliness, drugs, alcohol, and having to live with little to no rules. Alice’s story is very heartbroken.

She has to go through a lot of difficulties throughout her life. At an early age Alice has to go through sexual abuse, neglect, loneliness, drugs, alcohol, and having to live with little to no rules. This book is well written and I couldn’t put it down. It's also sad and shocking at the same time. In her adult life Alice has to live through her mental health, including being in an in-patient treatment.

This book is well written and I couldn’t put it down. It's also sad and shocking at the same time.

Thank you to Spiegal & Grau and NetGalley for allowing me to read this book in order to do a review.

A very interesting look into a misunderstood condition. I found the prose to be engaging and the story to be easily accessible

I was really excited for this one, at for the first half I remained excited and felt like I was learning a lot about mental health. However, during the second half things started to fall apart for me and I felt like this book was being written as part of the author's mental health journey and less for the reader.

A fascinating and riveting book about family and identity and mental health. Also an interesting portrait of NYC in the 1990s and the art world. And ultimately a story of redemption.

Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy of this amazing book! I couldn't put it down and it really made me think. What an intimate portrayal of Alice Carriére's young life, unique family, and struggles with mental illness as well as the mental health field. A must-read for anyone who enjoys memoirs!

This book felt self-indulgent. Carriere is the product of a traumatic childhood, being raised by egomaniacal and mentally ill people who happened to be a little famous and a lot wealthy. She also seems egomaniacal and mentally ill, and not very interesting. Mental illness, in and of itself, is not all that fascinating and rather tedious. The people in her life really suck, and she kind of sucks too.

Such a compelling story-
Heartbreaking and sad yet uplifting as well. The author takes you on her journey with grace and determination. Hearing how she felt neglected and moving into adolescence, abusing herself in order to deal with her emotions was hard to read but so important, especially as mental health is now finding its way to the forefront of medical help. She didn't spend much time in a "poor me" attitude and I found her story impactful in how she forgives and understands.
I would recommend this read to anyone who has experienced life-

DNF at 34% -- beautiful prose, but I could not force myself to ingest more pain. I'm glad to see I'm very much in the minority of readers, and I hope this book finds its audience because there are definitely people who will be healed from reading it, but unfortunately I do not number among them.

The title describes the book perfectly. A young Alice Carriere, is the daughter of two very self-involved people, who enjoy fame as an artist (mother) and actor (father). Living in a large house where she is basically left alone except for the attention of Nanny, it comes as no surprise that she slowly but certainly descends into a world of mental illness, ultimately dissociative disorder. Frustrating story, no one seems to have her best interest at heart, no psychiatrist steps up and says, 'Hey, maybe that's a few too many psychiatric drugs', her parents are apparently incapable of parenting, this is a story of a downward spiral into the abyss. While at the onset I was a little concerned that we were being taken for a bit of a ride, by the end I was truly moved with the author's struggles and strength.

This ARC was provided by NetGalley, the opinions expressed are my own.

I found I had to read this book slowly, in small doses, or I would get depressed. It’s a harrowing and brave story of childhood neglect, drug abuse, madness. I wanted to cry, to hug little Alice, and teenage Alice and young adult Alice, and scream at her parents, her doctors, all the people who failed her.

There are gorgeous sentences in this memoir. Beautiful metaphors. And a lot of writing with little embellishment that was all the more harrowing for it. I really appreciated the descriptions of what it felt like to dissociate, or to be propped up and down by prescription drugs like Adderall, Klonopin, and a whole host of other psychopharmaceuticals.

There were also some places where I was confused about the whens or the wheres. Some, what felt to me to be major, parts of the story that got dropped, like Jennifer’s cancer. I can’t imagine that memoir is ever easily written, though. And I’m grateful to have read this one.

As others have noted, I didn't expect this to be Carriere's first published memoir. The writing is intense and evocative and absolutely blew me away. It should be noted that some content is very heavy and may trigger some readers. I do think we will have readership in our library, so we will be purchasing for the collection.

CW: discusses sexual abuse, ptsd, dissociation, suicide, etc.

Alice Carrière’s cadence is almost musical. She has a way with words I haven’t seen in a memoir. The daughter of a renowned artist and actor, Carrière comes from a place of wealth yet deep emotional neglect. She talks a lot about her memory - real or imagined - often doubting her own childhood memories and the actions / intentions of those closest to her. She unpacks a lifetime of mental health treatment and the way that medications and many, many doctors failed her.

If you liked I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy or Forager by Michelle Dowd you’d enjoy this too.

Growing up with divorced parents is hard enough, but memoirist Alice Carriere had it tougher than many. Ignored by her aloof artist mother and treated inappropriately by her lecherous actor father, young Alice sought shelter in audiobooks and the love of her governess, Nanny These supports, however, did not prevent her from developing a raging case of dissociative disorder. While her peers were attending college, Alice spent time in elite psychiatric hospitals and dealing with doctors who prescribed multiple drugs and told her that she could never live without them. Her therapist encouraged Alice to see herself as a victim of molestation. Despite everything she goes through, Alice nonetheless grows up to discover forgiveness, healing and love.

This memoir is impressively written; Alice certainly knows her way around a metaphor. She is not afraid to present herself as she really is, even at the height of a manic or dissociative episode, or her parents as they really are. Highly recommended.

i initially could not believe this was a debut memoir because the level of craft is beyond stellar. while this book covers a myriad of difficult topics from fraught family dynamics to struggles with over-medicalization, it’s the depiction of dissociation that I found most compelling, which is to say i’ve never quite found someone who’s put it into words so well.

Carrier builds a chaotic world for the reader to explore as she recounts her mental health journey and path to healing. As if lost at sea, she struggles alone for survival and fights from drowning in overprescribed medication and a poor system.

Carrier takes us from her childhood, where she lived a life being fought over by parents who knew little about how to care for a child, through her stays in psychiatric institutions, and into her present life of independence and self-awareness.

This book is for anyone who desires more insight into the mental health struggle, family dynamics, and surviving trauma.

Wow! This book mesmerized me. This really should have a major trigger warning on it. But what an absolutely traumatic upbringing. I liked being able to see Alice transform and find herself by the end of this book. She showed she could get through the hard times and really could adjust to find what would make her happy.

*Read this on the kindle and formatting was a little off

Ok so I read this quick as hell in between breaks at work and in the evenings. Yeah. I think this is gonna be a 4 star. It's sort of tough to explain why because it really came out of the blue?? I discovered this entirely through a Goodreads giveaway and requested since it was intriguing. And that can be tricky - having that intrigue with an author so unknown to me and a book that I hadn't heard anyone else talking about.

Detailed review will be posted within 2 weeks or closer to the pub date. Thank you.

WOWWWWW this book is equally horrifying, gut wrenching, incredibly touching and a bit unbelievable. I could not believe this was a work of non-fiction (so much so I googled the mentioned paintings) and I cannot believe Alice lived through this.

Much like the Glass Castle, Educated, and Brain on Fire, this book discusses trauma/mental illness through memoir. What sets this book apart is that the author comes from WEALTH. Raised by a nanny, rarely sees her mother, visits her father overseas and basically is a child living like an adult with no rules or any semblance of order for long stretches of time. She has all the connections, gets into MULTIPLE great colleges and can’t finish - and the journey is so heartbreaking.

It takes a second to get into, but once I started I finished this so quickly. highly recommend.

I didn't come into this book with many expectations. I read the synopsis on Netgalley for an advanced copy, and figured I'd give it a shot. And I truly am SO glad that I did.

Alice tells a story of an unconventional upbringing in Greenwich Village, raised by a distant, famous artist mother and an ambiguous, unpredictable father. Alice's mother alleges that she was a victim to ritualized sexual abuse in her early years, and as Alice grows older she's becoming increasingly skeptical of her own father's behavior. This, coupled with chronic mental illness and substance use, unravels Alice in a slow disappearing act of her psyche.

Not only was the writing excellent, but the way that Alice portayed her Dissociative Disorder was so gripping and eye-opening. I'm a clinical social worker, and I have experienced so many clients who would resonate with the way that Alice portrayed her experience. Her writing is candid, vulnerable, and, at times, incredibly visceral. There were so many times that I teared up, laughed out loud, and physically cringed (at parts that were intentionally cringe worthy, I think l:) ) I changed my mind about everyone in this book about 100 times, and by the time I finished it, I realized that I think that was largely the point.

All and all, BEAUTIFUL. I will absolutely be buying the physical copy to have on my 'hall of fame' shelf.

Lots of trigger warnings though-- be warned. Talk of sexual abuse, incest, emotional neglect, and substance use.