This memoir was a very difficult read, yet a testimony to resilience. What the author endured was more than a painful childhood. She revisits haunting physical and emotional abuse, the fact that she survived and lived to write her story is remarkable. What struck me above all else is her outlook and her ability to persevere.

The daughter of a single drug-addicted mother, always on the go, rarely with a home of their own, a child of rape, she stood out, the brown-skinned child in a sea of white, often hungry, sexually assaulted. In writing about her trauma, which she says still lurks, I hope that she finds the healing she so deserves.

“The truth is, I spent so long imagining a perfect future so I could get through a profoundly imperfect present. I’d close my eyes and build beautiful houses where nothing could ever go wrong. I needed that to hold me up, but now I have to let it go.”

Adult Brittany laid down roots, grew a garden, takes care of herself, is in a healthy relationship. She knows the past is behind her, but there is no way to prevent future pain. “Planting a seed is easy. Tending to it so it can grow is the hard part,” as she so eloquently writes in her book.

Thank you to NetGalley and Zibby Books for an ARC in exchange for my honest review.

This was a hard story to tell, but I am so glad the author told it. It is not easy to speak about trauma. It is especially not easy to describe the conflict one feels when the people closest to them have done bad things. Her description of her life now - and how she still struggles with what was - is something anyone that is trying to break down generational norms will relate to. The struggle to feel content when the only thing you know is instability is real and the author describes it so well. There are plenty of us obsessively cleaning our kitchens to try to cope with the unknown and make the homes we never had. Thank you for writing this book, Brittany.

This was a brave memoir, filled with almost more trauma than I could handle, but there were lots of moments where I paused to reflect on a particular passage either because of the writing or itb was resonating with my own experience or emotions. I look forward seeing what this talented writer will create next.

Wow! I’m in awe of the woman Brittany is and the courage she has to write about all of the details of her life. I felt like I was reading a novel and had to remind myself that this was her actual life she’s lived and that it wasn’t from way back in time but quite recently.

Trauma comes in many forms and Brittany details the traumatic events she’s not only experienced but come through. To read about Brittany’s life and then read about what she’s doing currently is breathtaking.

Thank you for sharing your story and being so vulnerable and honest.

Brittany writes with such honesty and bravery. I admire her talent. She shares the heartbreaking truth of her childhood and how she navigated it without sugarcoating the events or hitting readers over the head with gratuitous details. While fully owning her past and how it shaped her, Brittany will connect with a lot of readers who may or may not relate to her trauma. My only frustration with the book came from feeling displaced at times. I had a hard time understanding if we were viewing this events as child Brittany or adult Brittany. Overall, a powerful memoir that showcases a promising talent and the power of the human spirit.

In this unflinching memoir, Means tries to answer the question of how to undo the knots of trauma she’s suffered. Means is a baby born of rape, a child raised in a white Pentecostal world shunned for her “Mexican” features, a daughter of a drug addicted mother, a teenager in an abusive relationship, and finally a young adult who loses her faith. Means spent much of her young life dishonestly answering questions from authorities and convened friends about what was really happening in her traumatic and unstable upbringing in order to protect her mother from legal ramifications. Means writes poetically and unsparingly and fair warning - the stories she mines from her memories are difficult to read. Thank you to NetGalley and Zibby Books for this ARC

I felt like I was truly along for the ride of Brittany's life - as a passenger as she tells her story of life with her mom and all of the challenges that they face. Thanks to NetGalley and Zibby Books for the ARC for the purpose of this review. Brittany is brave in my opinion and really tells a raw story. Her writing style was fresh and unique to me compared to most memoirs I've read. Five stars!