Where to start, this book delighted me as Ruby slowly developed into her own character, yet was saddened by the forcefulness and dominance of her father. Lots of complicated characters. A bit of a not completely unexpected twist at the end.

‘Tell Me What I Am’ by Una Mannion is an excellent example of how to write a good character. In a book where a mother, Deena, goes missing, her sister Nessa must uncover the secrets of her disappearance while also attempting to contact her niece, Ruby, after she was won in a custody battle. Ruby has no recollection of her former life nor her mother, having been fed lies by her narcissistic father, Lucas. The book surrounds Ruby and Nessa’s journey towards the truth, both having to overcome their own personal struggles as well has the world around them.

Nessa is a woman very attached to her past, so much so, it deeply affects her relationships. I like how Ronan, her boyfriend, wasn’t written as her ‘saviour’ nor as a quick fix to an all-encompassing problem. He tried to help Nessa only to be turned down. Nessa actively sabotaged her relationship with him because the weight of her sister’s disappearance was too crushing despite how close she and Ronan were. He signified a part of her past in which she couldn’t get back and so she had to let him go. I really like this element of their relationship as it adds a more realistic feel to the writing. It is very rare for a relationship, especially one with physical distance between the pair, to withhold in the face of intense and traumatic pressure like what Nessa and Ronan went through. To see their relationship flourish in the midst of this pain would both be unrealistic and out of place in my opinion. However, you can still see their connection with Ronan showing up to Lucas’ pretrial despite getting married to someone else. Nessa, as an independent character, is also very well written. She is stubborn and devoted to Deena and Ruby, so much so, she puts herself at risk both physically and mentally. Throughout the book, I found myself longing for her to successfully contact Ruby as she was a consistent mothering/nurturing figure throughout the book, something Ruby desperately lacked. Ruby, in a way, is written like Nessa, especially with the self-sabotaging of relationships but through no fault of her own. Her not messaging back Tim because time slipped by, due to her being consumed with her mother’s disappearance, is very realistic and makes her feel human. Allowing characters to make mistakes makes them a more engaging figure to follow throughout a book. As a result, I found that as a reader, I connected with her more and felt more sympathy towards her plight. Mannion writes younger characters incredibly well, catching their aging via dialogue and how their internal thoughts and external speech matures. She also writes a subtly narcissistic character brilliantly too. Although it is already determined that Lucas was an unfavourable person and even worse partner, Mannion doesn’t just use statements like “Lucas was abusive” as the sole piece of evidence of his poor character. She notes his controlling behaviours subtly through dialogue and description like the narration commenting on how he doesn’t like his mother, Clover, having the TV too loud, noting how he “loved [Deena] mimicking his phrases”, or even how he didn’t enrol Ruby into school. Ruby’s fear of having his truck pull up tells us all we need to know; he is a fear-inducing figure, far exceeding the levels of a normal authoritative parent.

This use of language and description doesn’t just help with character development but also the plot as a whole. While refraining from being overly complex, the writing still contains a good level of description to get your imagination whirring. There are motifs in the book that frequently reoccur like that of the angel or the moving of boats. Subtle elements that are noted in the background really build up the scene and give it that realistic feel. For example, Ruby noting that she was a clam in a school play, Nessa referencing the joeys in a nature documentary she saw when Ronan hugged her, and Nessa practicing her ‘bitch face’ for if one of Lucas’ lawyers looks at her again. These elements build the scene and develop the characters indirectly. They also, in some cases, like Ruby being a clam, add an air of hilarity to the writing which lightens the mood and makes the book feel less emotionally strenuous which therefore makes an easier read. In addition, the inclusion of the story of Gentileschi and how it relates to Deena was a wonderful addition which is indicative of the further research that Mannion had to do to flesh out this book.

The only areas of the book that, in my opinion, have room for improvement, are the pacing and certain parts of the plot. While there are elements like the end of chapters that leave readers on a mini cliff-hanger, rounding off the scenes nicely without being too intense, the overall pacing of the book is perhaps a little too drawn out. The constant changing of POVs is a nice addition as it showcases the drawing together of Ruby and Nessa, revealing information to the readers that Ruby is unaware of. Yet it is used too much. Towards the end, it started to drag and made me feel as though the climax was never going to happen. When it did, it was somewhat underwhelming. The reveal that Deena was dead was just shoved in. We only got to see Ruby’s reaction to the news, not Nessa or her brothers. Clovers big explanation at the end seemed like a quick solution for the book-long mystery and Lucas’ ‘craft’ seemed to have no character or depth. It came off as very generic. I also think that a book ending without readers getting to see whether Lucas was sentenced left it feeling unresolved. It could have perhaps been remedied by Nessa and Ruby finally meeting but it only briefly referenced.

That being said, overall, the book was very entertaining. The most important elements were all covered with the characters being really well developed and the writing style entertaining throughout. Yes, end the book felt rushed but that doesn’t take away from the positive elements. Regardless, people aren’t going to stop reading something because the ending is a little off, especially since the good characters and language is still there and the plot is too engaging to not find out what happens.

If you like a mystery thriller that showcases incredibly well written women then I suggest you give this one a go. It doesn’t have an overly complex plot to follow so it makes for an easier and more entertaining read.

4/5

This author’s books have the ability to simultaneously make you unable to stop reading while wishing you could bury the book somewhere deep underground where it can't be found. Compelling and didn’t want it to end!

Ruby grows up in the country, protected from the rest of the world, with a father and a grandmother who won’t talk about her mother or the past. Ruby soon begins to start questioning her identity and to crave knowledge of her own history.

It took me a while to get into this book, particularly because it jumps around a lot at the beginning, but once I did I enjoyed it. Ruby is a beguiling character and you sympathise wholly with Nessa. The book handles the topic of domestic violence sensitively, whilst weaving an intriguing plot. A solid four-star read.

With thanks to the publisher for access to this ARC.

It's been years since Deena Garvey disappeared, leaving behind her daughter Ruby. The latter is now living an isolated and semi-survivalist lifestyle with her father, and is not allowed to ask questions about her missing mother.

But Deena's sister Nessa has never stopped asking questions about her disappearance. She is convinced that Ruby's father has something to do with it and is the only person who shares Ruby's desperate need for answers.

This is a thoughtful, intelligent, and intense exploration of issues around domestic violence and family relationships. Worth a read, it gets 3.5 stars.

Tell me what I am is a psychological thriller which revolves around the disappearance of Deena Garvey and her sister Nessa’s relentless search for answers. The story which tackles some really sensitive themes is told across multiple timelines and from multiple characters point of view. It’s a really emotional read

Twenty years ago Deena Garvey disappears, leaving her daughter Ruby behind. Her sister Nessa thinks this is due to her abusive partner. The book focuses on Ruby and covers two different timelines, which I found confusing in some parts. The book is very thought provoking in places and goes into domestic violence in some depth.
Thank you to NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book to review.

This was my first time reading a book from the author but I am delighted to say I thoroughly enjoyed the story and I look forward to reading more books from the writer in the future

Tell me what I am is a beautifully written novel with well drawn characters who drew me in to this sad story. The characters felt really real and it was as if I was there with Nessa and Deena. I highly recommend this book.

I couldn’t tear myself away from this book. I love stories full of well developed characters, and this is a really emotionally developed story, exploring themes of loss and domestic abuse.

I enjoyed how the story gradually revealed more and more, building a picture of the lives of the characters and the impact of Deena’s disappearance on everyone. Seeing the way Ruby lives with her dad, the way he treats her, is heartbreaking. It’s no wonder she, and Nessa, both want to know more about what happened to Deena. Losing someone important in your life will always be difficult and it’s a theme everybody experiences in some way in their lives.

I just wish things were tied up a bit neater at the end, even if it makes sense why it wasn’t.

I didn’t expect to love this story quite so much. I felt strangely bereft at the end saying goodbye to all the remarkable characters but especially Ruby and Nessa. I wanted to stay with them for just a bit longer. This is a really powerful and beautifully written story about family, unconditional love and never giving up.

This is such a fantastic book! Having previously read A Crooked Tree and really enjoyed it, I was really happy to have something else to read from Una Mannion.
Tell Me What I Am is a haunting story focusing on a young woman, Ruby, and her complicated, damaging past. I love the way that Mannion plunges us straight into her life and gradually tells the story of her past. It really gets across just how confusing and overwhelming it can feel to have survived abusive situations.
Ruby appears to be trying to come to terms with her past when we first meet her at the start of the book, and then we are taken back in time. We see how her mother, Deena, met Ruby's father Lucas and was very quickly pulled into an intense relationship that somehow weakened her ties with others, such as her sister Nessa. Very gradually we see how this relationship developed and how the red flags became more serious. It's a very, very good portrayal of how violent and abusive relationships take hold, and how they affect not only those in the relationship but all the people around them too.
Deena disappears when Ruby is small, and Ruby is then raised by her father, who cuts off Deena's family. Much of the book focuses on the horrific impact this has on Nessa, who not only loses her sister but her niece too. The way that Mannion describes how Nessa's life and mind are completely transformed by Deena's disappearance is truly heartbreaking. She becomes so obsessed with solving the mystery that some of those around her are pushed away. It's particularly sad and touching that she has a chance to have a relationship with a genuinely lovely man, Ronan, and yet feels incapable of being with him because she has been so damaged by the trauma in her family.
Parts of this book are disturbing and upsetting, and that reflects just how well the author has told the story and created the characters. It's a brilliantly written story with characters that feel very real - definitely recommended and thank you Netgalley!

I love stories that involve missing people and this one certainly does. This was so realistic. It kept me engaged the whole time.

Beautifully written and relatable book which touches on distressing themes without trying to shock.

Read if you like books about people and their relationships and how they’re affected by the horrible things that people do to each other.

A true masterful mix of tension and intrigue that grips you from page one and doesn’t let up, seriously go get the book

This deeply disquieting novel is a cut above the slew of domestic thrillers on the market. The tension is constant as this well paced story unfolds through the years. Brilliantly written with very real characters.
My thanks to the publishers and Netgalley for an advance review copy.

A fantastic book that I couldn’t put down. The author covered some sensitive subjects very well and portrayed the way so many family members are affected by one abusive partner.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the ARC in return for an honest and unbiased opinion.

I loved this book, the characters were great i really got into them throughout the book. I found it quite emotional at times, Found it easy to read and follow the journey throughout the book. Loved the ending

This is a powerful. moving story, what a brilliant debut for Una Mannion!

I loved the characters, their strength and determination in finding out the truth of Deena disappearance was very inspiring. The control Lucas subjects Deena first, and Ruby later is described so well, it really makes you feel the constraints even in small, apparently insignificant things, that put all together result in a very toxic, abusive situation.

A book I will recommend.

Thank you NetGalley and Faber & Faber for the advance copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.

Deena Garvey disappeared one day, she never turned up for work and left behind her daughter Ruby. Dena's sister Nessa is convinced it has something to do with Lucas who was Deena's abusive partner.

This heartbreaking story is told in 2 timelines and focuses on teenage Ruby who is living with her father Lucas. Her mother is never spoken about and she has dim memories of her.

Nessa has concentrated on finding Ruby and will do whatever is necessary to find her.

This beautifully written book has larger than life characters that draw you in emotionally, making you feel invested in them.

Thank you to Netgalley for my copy in exchange for an honest review.