This was truly one of my most anticipated books of the year and I’m still reeling a bit at the times where it felt like this book was in my brain. As an aspec person (on both sides), there are very few books that I read that feel like they get me when it comes to relationships, platonic or romantic, and so to have this book have two ace aro characters who had some of the exact same thoughts that I have all the time felt bizarre in the best way. I also just personally had fun with a book set at Wellesley as someone who has friends there (and lowkey now wishes I had applied). There are a lot of great conversations about queerness and gender and relationships and also it’s just a fun YA book of two characters figuring out more about themselves!

It’s a little hard to talk about why exactly I liked this book so much because part of that is how much it felt like it understood me. It’s a book that’s aware that there aren’t a lot of stories of ace aro people in the mainstream, and even of characters that don’t fully fit into ideas of being queer in multiple ways. And although I’m not a freshman like Sophie and Jo, I’m not too far from those experiences, and it just felt so real to me.

But there’s also just the general queerness, the fact that there’s really only about one cis male character in the entire story, and sapphic characters young and old. And of course there’s the hilarity of the beef between Wendy and Wandy via their instagram advice accounts, and everything else that built up the plot of a friendship between two aspec characters. It’s not just a story about being aspec, but that is the part that makes it so special, and why I absolutely recommend it. It’s a little ridiculous at times, but sometimes that’s the best part.

Ann Zhao’s DEAR WENDY is a heartfelt love letter to Wellesley College in the form of a young adult novel. Sophie and Jo—two aroace students—remind readers about the power of platonic love amongst friends and the importance of finding your queer community. Listening to the audiobook of their story felt less like I was reading a novel and more like I was hearing my friends’ casual queer college drama, told to me from both sides. A lighthearted delightful read!

I've never read a friendship love story OR an ace book before, so I throughly enjoyed this book! I was able to relate to this book a lot, especially about the whole friend group being queer and neurodivergent thing...yeah...same.
There were some moments that felt a little too chronically online but it was still a fun fast paced read.
I had the pleasure of even meeting this author at a different authors signing!
Thanks Netgalley for the eArc!

- DEAR WENDY, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
- This book is in some ways a modern retelling of You’ve Got Mail, but starring two aroace college students.
- I didn’t attend Wellesley, but I did attend a women’s college, and whew! The accuracy! The mess! The love!
- It’s so, so wonderful how this is not a romantic love story, not a will-they-won’t-they story, not a maybe-they’ll-fall-in-romantic-love-anyway story. It’s a platonic love story, full stop, and it’s beautiful.
- I loved that this book begins with both Sophie and Jo already knowing they are aroace. I do love a coming out/discovering yourself YA novel, but I love this too. Both characters are still working out what this identity means for them, but they know it to be true and they never waver in it.

Dear Wendy was the best hug. Featuring dual POV, it's an opposites, rivals, to friendship. A testament to the idea that we have more in common with our rivals than we might think. It's also a book which celebrates the feeling of knowing we aren't alone. That there are people who feel the same as we do, people who know how it feels. Featuring aromantic and asexual representation, Dear Wendy explores themes of representation, queer erasure, and the allosexual and alloromantic nature of society.

Rating: 3.5/5
I thoroughly enjoyed this one, it’s so nice to see aro-ace rep in books and I thought the representation was done remarkably well!
Pros:
-I really liked all of the characters and how we got to see dual perspectives
-I liked the way the ending wrapped up
Cons:
-I found the writing style to be a bit too simplistic at times and lots of the terms were educational telling, rather than showing.

Overall I would highly recommend this to fans of Loveless or those looking to find more a-spec rep!

DEAR WENDY by Ann Zhao is the book my students have wanting for years! I've been so busy recommending the book, I didn't realize I had not written a review. For teens--and even adults--who identify on the aro and/or ace spectrum, this is a must read. Not because it's one of the few books featuring aroace characters; because it's a good book. The characters are richly developed with strong, distinctive voices (even in the narrative) and interesting individual storylines. The author handles the dual POV quite well and keeps the secondary characters distinctive. I highly recommend this book to everyone; it's a great read. I can't wait to see what Ann Zhao writes next.

thank you so much to netgalley, colored pages blog tours and fierce reads for the early copy in exchange for an honest review!!

I HAVE BEEN NEEDING THIS BOOK MY ENTIRE LIFE OMGGGGGGGGGGGG
i don't think i've ever read a story where so many aspects of our normal life are put into perspective. what makes us attractive, the importance of all kinds of love, the a-spec online discourse and why some people don't consider asexual and aromantic people part of the LGBT+ community, the fear of being alone while the rest of your friends meet The One, why is it so hard for the diaspora to find their place in the world... nanana, i had no idea i would come to rethink my entire life and the way i perceive things. plus, it was so enjoyable to read from Sophie and Jo's perspective: i love how one saw the other as super perfect while that other views themselves as not perfect at all. plus THE SETTING?? THIS COLLEGE REALLY EXISTS??? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW OF IT????
just amazing. super fun and fast paced. amazing side characters. perfect setting. i loved every single thing from it and i hope it helps more a-spec people 😭💜😭💜

This book took me SUCH a long time to get through, omg. I have mixed feelings on it! As an aroace person, I've loved seeing more aroace lit pop up over the last several years. I think Dear Wendy is an important addition to the canon. We. Need. More. Platonic. Love. Stories. I'd especially recommend it to allo (non-aro/ace) and baby aroace people who are just discovering and trying to make sense of their identities. But if you've been in the aroace space for a while, you might not feel like this book was written for you (which is okay, of course!). I'm someone who grew up on aroace tumblr, so many of the conversations that took place between Sophie and Jo, our two MCs, in this book were very reminiscent of that. The conflict felt childish for 18-year-old college students, tbh. That's probably why it took me so long to read and I found myself kinda bored, lol. I didn't feel like there was enough plot to keep this book moving. I can't pinpoint exactly why, but the MCs didn't feel fully fleshed out and instead felt one-dimensional. Sophie and Jo are initially presented as polar opposites (Wanda and Wendy), but I often found it hard to distinguish between their two voices. Sometimes I thought I was in Jo's POV, but I was actually in Sophie's, and vice versa.

I especially related to Jo's worry about being left behind when all their friends eventually settle down with romantic partners. Even as someone who has come to terms with, and is now proud of, my aroace identity, I STILL feel this way about my friends. My best friend might come first in my life, but will I come first in hers now that she has a partner? Which maybe is a silly concern, but it's natural to think that way. Being aroace can feel really lonely.

Anyways, I liked this but didn't LOVE it. I can accept it wasn't written FOR me, as an "established" (?) aroace person (haha).

A big thank you to Feiwel & Friends for the advanced copy of this book. All thoughts are my own!

This is probably one of the best contemporary debuts of the year, a not-love story between two aromantic and asexual women that prioritizes the importance and joy of platonic love. <3

Sweet, sometimes silly, and always earnest, Dear Wendy is a platonic love story--an arom-com, if you will (aromantic comedy, yep, just made that term up)--sure to delight fans of ace stories, internet drama, and the complex mess that is finding yourself in college. You might say that, if Loveless is the perfect book for someone *realizing* they're aroace, Dear Wendy is the perfect book for someone who *knows* they're aroace but is still figuring out life.
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This book was so darn sweet, and it highlights how identity is inherently multifaceted, and how love does not have to mean just one thing. Sophie and Jo may have the same aroace label, but their experiences of it are vastly different: Sophie is comfortable with who she is but struggles with the intersection of her queerness and diaspora as her parents don't really accept her asexuality; Jo's parents fully embrace their sexual identity, but she is having a mini gender crisis and is anxious that she'll end up alone forever when her friends find romantic partners (and, as someone who has also had that anxiety when I first realized I was aro as well as ace, I could totally relate). The two complement each other in this way, and in many others, providing a valuable sounding-board for each other as they talk about various topics in ace discourse--exclusionists, the right to claim a label, poor ace rep in media, amatonormativity, and more--and ultimately forge their own platonic love story.
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This is also clearly a book that the author has rooted her heart in. It keenly captures that "first year of liberal arts college" vibe, the mixture of anxiety and excitement and exploration, the way little things can seem like such big deals, the trappings of student life like extracurriculars and office hours and choosing which dining hall to go to and, yes, weird social media account trends that the whole student body somehow knows. The novel is additionally peppered with indirect references to other actual books--I counted 12, stay tuned for a reel where I decipher them all--which feel like a nice little insider reference for book nerds everywhere.
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There were just two hangups I had with this book, and both are pretty small. One was that, though it covers a lot of topics in ace discourse, it doesn't really delve into those topics, or explore them fully. Instead, it's a lot of Sophie and Jo saying to each other, "I know, right?" (or something along those lines). It still reaches a message of acceptance and love, but it sometimes felt like an attempt to make a cursory pass at as many big ace topics as possible, without really doing much with them, and in the process it shortchanges some important conversations. The other quibble, and maybe it's just me, was that the characters laughed a lot...at things that weren't very funny? Maybe it just wasn't quite my brand of humor, I'm not sure. I did laugh, though, at a scene where a side character "comes out" as straight.
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All told, this book is a love letter to bookworms, liberal arts schools, platonic connections, and the aspec communities. Definitely recommended for anyone who wants more ace rep (especially intersectional ace rep!), and for folks who love a good friendship story.

Rep: Chinese American aroace MC, gender-questioning aroace MC of Jewish descent, sapphic Black SC, sapphic Indian SC, sapphic demisexual Chinese American SC, sapphic Latina SC, bisexual SC, other queer and BIPOC SCs
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TW/CW: acephobia/arophobia

Thank you to the publisher & Netgalley for letting me read & review this book!

The fact that books are being published now with Aro/Ace characters makes me so happy-the idea that you could opt out of relationships at that age wasn't even on my radar. There are a lot of subjects covered in the story that, of course, relate to that. What does this mean for me, what does this mean for my future, etc. As for the book and storyline, I enjoyed it overall. I liked the characters, and the plot was fun. It did drag a bit for me sometimes, but never so much that I set the book down and didn't come back to it. Overall, a pleasant read.

ace representation!!!! this book was really great and I loved the college environment and aroace identities! It was a really great read and I loved the writing

4.5⭐️

So precious and heartwarming! The most beautiful platonic love story that will have your heart bursting with joy. This book is a breathtaking celebration of friendship and it’s about finding your community of people who see and embrace you, while also being a safe and welcoming space for all readers.

Too often when you hear the phrase “find your person” it’s paired with notions of romantic love and affection, but that is such a limited point of view. “Your person” can be your other half, your partner, the first one you want to text or call with news… but it doesn’t have to be exclusively within the confines of a romantic relationship. I adored how friendship was the core of this book and how this was a beautiful celebration of love between best friends.

There were so many touching moments that were delivered with honesty, heart, and a dash of humor that will resonate so deeply and I truly feel like many readers will find a home within Zhao’s story and Jo and Sophie’s character.

This is a story about the many paths to finding yourself.  Sophie Chi is a first year student at a liberal arts college.  She feels like a minor disappointment to her parents, who wanted her to attend a more prestigious school and have never really accepted her aroace identity.  Her favorite part of college is running an anonymous advice account on Instagram, where she takes advantage of all the research she has done into relationships and communication.  Other than her roommate and her best friend from home (who happens to be dating her roomate), no one knows that Sophie is behind the increasingly popular account.

Across campus, Joanna “Jo” Ephron, a fellow first year, is also trying to find her place at school.  Other than her two roommates, Jo has made few friends.  An aroace, she has constant anxiety that her friends will start dating, fall in love, and abandon her.  One day, she decides to create her own, snarky anonymous advice account.  And soon Jo's account and Sophie's account are engaged in an escalating rivalry.

At the same time, Sophie and Jo meet in one of their classes and hit it off.  Even though they have quite different personalities, they realize they have a lot in common.  As they grow increasingly close and work together to launch a new student organization for other a-spec students, their online alter egos are engaged in an increasingly bitter back-and-forth, even though neither knows the other's secret identity.  Having finally found another person who truly understands them, what will happen to Sophie and Jo's friendship if they each learn who is behind the rival advice account?

I really enjoyed the book.  It is a creative and modern take on You've Got Mail.  The author does a terrific job of depicting both why Sophie and Jo are drawn to each other in real life and why they each, for their own reasons, feel the need to continually escalate their online rivalry.  With nuance and insight, the book also deftly portrays how Sophie and Jo navigate their identities, including with their families, friends, and their hopes and fears for the future.

Highly recommended!

This book is exactly the kind of book needed for members of the aspec community. The discourse surrounding aspec identities was phenomenal. I think teens (and adults) everywhere would benefit from reading this one.

I will say that some of the conflict seemed a little drawn out and immature, but the rest of the book more than makes up for that.

Will definitely be recommending this one!

Dear Wendy perfectly encapsulates why non romantic relationships, from friendship to family, are some of the most important connections in our lives. Throughout the novel, Sophie and Jo develop a beautiful connection with each other while maintaining strong bonds with their respective friends and family. It’s refreshing to read a story focused on these vital human relationships without centering romance.

Additionally the queer representation in this novel is expansive and feels grounded in reality. Dear Wendy adds to the lexicon of queer media, particularly portraying aroace representation in a positive and authentic way. We at the BGE podcast highly recommend Dear Wendy as a fun and important story everyone should read!

THIS IS NOT A ROMANCE. THIS IS NOT SAPPHIC. STOP TAGGING IT AS SUCH.

this is a platonic love story.

I kinda feel like I have been out as aroace too long to be having this much of an existential crisis.

Y'all. This book. You need it.

I finished this book like 1 minute ago and I'm kind of speechless honestly. I laughed and cried and contemplated my entire existence throughout the 5-hour audiobook experience and now I don't know what's going on. So for right now I'm going to keep it short and sweet and say that you absolutely need to read this book no matter what. I feel like we get a lot or a decent chunk of books that have platonic plot lines or no romance within the sci-fi and fantasy genres of bookstagram but there is still a serious need for these stories in contemporary books. As someone who gravitates a lot more to contemporary stories, I loved this book so so much.

I cannot thank @coloredpagesbt enough for hosting this book tour, @fiercereads for providing me with a final copy and to @annzhao_ for writing such a phenomenal book.

I'm going to leave you with one of my favorite quotes 💚💜

"when you’re asexual or aromantic or both, to accept your sexuality, you have to accept that you’re probably going to question it for a really long time, and possibly the rest of your life. Because there’s that part of your brain that goes, like, who’s to say it can never happen, right? What if that person made me nervous because I like them, what if liking romcoms makes me—sorry, what if it means I want that for myself. Or …or what if I’m an extremely late bloomer? It’s so hard to prove a lack of something, much harder than to prove something exists. So those thoughts might never go away. They haven’t for me, and I’ve identified as aroace for almost five years. But you know yourself. And you know the way you feel. So …let those thoughts run their course. They’re not real unless you make them real, but they’ll happen, and you just need to accept that they’ll be a part of you, but they don’t define you.”

Dear Wendy is about two students at Wellesley who both give relationship/life advice anonymously on instagram to their fellow students. But one in a sincere and thorough way (Sophie) and the other in a sarcastic and funny way (Jo). They quickly become rivals, while becoming friends in real life. They’re also both aroace (aromantic and asexual).

This felt like a nod to many of the romcoms of my life growing up, (Jo’s last name is even Ephron!) but in a platonic friendship way. The main story is inspired by You’ve Got Mail.

I loved that the main message of this book was that you don’t need a romantic relationship to have love and fulfillment in your life. How important friendships and the feeling of belonging can be, and how love is not reserved just for romance. This is good to internalize not just for aromantic people but alloromantics as well. I loved how much the two main characters cared about each other, and their budding friendship felt genuine. It also showed how much finding people who are similar to you can make you feel accepted in a special way.

I also really appreciated all the different representations in the book, both a-spec and not. There were trans characters, sapphic characters, demisexual and so on. Sophie has known she’s aroace for a while but for Jo it’s much newer. This offers nuanced takes into navigating a world that often prioritizes romance.

There were two main aspects I didn’t enjoy. But I don’t want that to take away from the fact that it’s also a very valuable book to read and exist. I’d highly recommend this book, especially if you wouldn’t be bothered by the following.

My main issue with it is how much Jo is working against her friends for most of the book. Friendships are incredibly important to me, which is why I greatly appreciated the importance the book gives friendships, but I hated Jo for their thoughts and actions for most of the book. (small spoiler) They do eventually own up to the fact that they messed up, and I think their feelings do make sense with them coming to terms with their aroace identity, but it was painful for me to read those parts.

The other thing I didn’t love was their online feud. Especially when it was more one sided, it genuinely felt like bullying and made me very uncomfortable to root for the character(s). Not cute, not funny, just rude. I would have immediately blocked them.

There are other aspects of this book I could nitpick, like some conversations that could have gone a bit deeper, how the third act breakup was unnecessary, but these were smaller issues that didn’t impact my overall enjoyment.

Thank you to Macmillan Books, Feiwel and Friends and NetGalley for the eARC!

Rating: 3.6⭐

I loved the story, the world building and meeting the different characters. I felt completely immersed in the story and couldn't stop reading it.