From the outset, Sharma's depiction of her relationship with her Black husband felt unsettling at times. Throughout the book, I sensed a pervasive silence around her husband's experiences and a discomfort with engaging deeply with his Blackness beyond her own viewpoint of allyship. I found it interesting that she didn’t explore aspects of Colorism being that her husband is a very fair black man who most would probably assume is biracial. Not to mention how colorism has played a huge part historically and socially in both Black and Asian communities. This further caught my attention when she brought up the Loving Virginia case being that it was a white man with a black woman that was very fair and how passing was prevalent at the time. It made me wonder about her husband’s relationship with race and how he was navigating their marriage. As a Virginia resident and a black women, I always think how different that case may have been had she been a darker skinned black women. Reading this, I felt the same. How different would their story have been if Quincy blackness wasn’t something others felt they could mute. (Ex: the hair cutting)

While some themes are well-fleshed out and thought-provoking, such as her exploration of historical injustices and societal complexities, others feel less explored or fall short of deeper engagement. It was unfortunate to read how she sometimes ignored evident issues within her topics, such as her comparison involving Glenn from "The Walking Dead." While the character of Glenn, portrayed by Steven Yeun, was laudably devoid of many Asian stereotypes, his story arc was simultaneously a play the model minority and his proximity to whiteness. The majority of that Glenn’s story revolves around a white women, and his ability to be likable, blend in, and loyal. It’s too late when Glenn’s characters starts to be explored that he is killed off. Though like many fans who only missed Glenn in death, Sharma's glorification of Glenn's assimilated character ignores his contrast with other characters of color and the broader context of systemic erasure faced by Asian representation. This comparison between a fictional character and a real-life tragedy, like the death of Vincent Chin, didn't resonate well due to its complexity IMO.

Sharma's portrayal of her relationship with her Black husband, although touching on important issues, sometimes lacks the depth needed to fully confront the nuances of interracial dynamics and identity. Sharma’s familial dynamic was also troublesome. Not in a way that isn’t common, but uncomfortable in a way that felt unfortunate to read. She seemed to rely more on silence than active defense of her Black husband.

Despite these shortcomings, "The Way You Make Me Feel" serves as a testament to Sharma's commitment to activism and her willingness to engage in these critical conversations about race and love.

A moving memoir covering a multitude of powerful topics. Thank you NetGalley and Penguin Press for sending this ARC for review consideration. All opinions are my own.

Such a raw and beautiful book. I liked the dual POV story. It was powerful and thought provoking. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.