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Supercommunicators

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I really enjoyed Duhigg’s book on being a super communicator! Super communicators have an ability to communicate and connection with folks far better than most! I appreciate the brevity of this book and took away a few great tips! Highly recommend!

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We all communicate, some of us just do it better than others. In this book, Charles Duhigg takes us on a journey through many situations in which communication is more than a requirement, it's an art form. This book is not just about being a better talker but also a better listener and student of other people. It breaks down major conversation types and how to lean into them for work, dating, or just better connections overall.

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If you haven't read Brene Brown or other business self-help books, you may find this helpful, but for me there were too many long stories -- and the info was so similar to other books. Basically, you have to connect with people to get them to listen to you.

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As a communications professional, I really enjoyed this book. The practical “A guide to using these ideas” at the end of each section are particularly valuable and I can see myself going back to those summaries in the future. The focus is on uncovering what a conversation is really about, how our emotions and how we feel come into play, and how are (many) social identities influence the discussion. In particular, what stood out to me is going deeper— for example, instead of asking “where are you from?” I could ask “What was your favorite part of where you grew up?”

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I haven't read a good social psych book in a while and a book by Duhigg was probably going to hit right. This one is about the connections we make with one another, especially and specifically on tougher topics-- he discusses guns, vaccines, and COVID in the story but a bevy of other examples from an executive at Netflix and an FBI agent.

Ultimately Duhigg's message is that there are rules to follow when it comes to the "secret language" of connecting. They are about paying attention to what the conversation IS that's occurring, figuring out the goals of those you're talking to but also sharing yours as well, sharing feelings and asking about others', and understanding the identities and how/why they're important to the discussion.

Duhigg also included analysis of couples' and the differences between happy and unhappy ones related to how they communicated (and the videos they used of them to analyze).

Either way, plenty of things to unpack around the major elements of connection! I know THREE people who would be interested in reading the book.

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This is a fantastic book about how to make better connections with others. Duhigg has a beautiful way of making complicated things plain and simple. And doable.

In this book, he writes clearly about the three types of conversations we typically have:

1. The “What’s this really about?” Conversation
This one is practical. It deals with facts. It is helpful when we need to make a decision and move on.

2. The “How do we feel?” Conversation
When we need to connect on an emotional level, this is the conversation to have. It invites awareness of our emotions, beliefs, and memories.

3. The “Who are we?” Conversation
We tap into a broader, more social mindset with these conversations. These help us acknowledge social differences rather than pretending they don't exist.

He also shares 4 Rules for Conversations because he says we are always in a conversation—be it practical, emotional, or social.

1. Pay attention to what kind of conversation is occuring.

2. Share your goals, and ask what others are seeking.

3. Ask about others’ feelings, and share your own.

4. Explore if identities are important to this discussion.

It’s not a literal checklist to tick off (although it can be, in the most serious of conversations), but it’s a mindset to facilitate greater communication. It can mean asking more questions, owning up to our own mistakes and feelings, and being more open about who we are.

I'll refer to this book again for communicating better with those I care about. It's full of practical tips and advice.

My thanks to Netgalley and Random House for the review copy of this book.

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Communicating with others is hard! Don't let that reality pass you by. It's not the typical stuff we focus on most like how to be a great presenter, or lean in and nod your head, that causes the big challenges.

What Charles Duhigg points us to in #Supercommunicators is the missing links about what kinds of conversations are we having, talking about the feelings that undergird our reality, how to ask good questions, and so much more in this awesome release!

Go pick up a copy and spend time digging into it, you won't regret it as the book challenges you to go to another level in connecting with other humans!

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The first few pages are so intriguing. I was compelled to read and learn more of this unique approach to listening. Listening involves much more than merely nodding agreement or using specific body language. Connections and emotions are key. You're sure to learn something unexpected from reading this book.

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Duhigg provides some great ideas on how to think about communication differently, and he backs that up with tools that can provide great impact to one’s effectiveness as a communicator. Definitely worth reading!

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This book was just okay for me and not as compelling as his book The Power of Habit. I had trouble reading more than a few pages at a time so this ended up taking me a while to finish (and I’m usually a go through the book in a day or two kind of reader). He presents some good ideas, especially useful reminders for someone like me whose strengths aren’t empathy and connection but takes a long time doing it. The examples he used were okay but seemed to go on and on and in one case I don’t feel it even supported the point he was making (Netflix case study). I don’t think I wasted my time but it wasn’t the enjoyable reading experience I get from books usually. Thanks to Random House Publishing for an early copy to read through NetGalley. I am leaving this review voluntarily as my honest opinion because I love books and authors. This book came out in February 2024 so is available now.

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Duhigg studies “supercommunicators” - people who know how to how to have good, effective conversations, make others feel at ease, and have fruitful connections that accomplish goals. Eg - a specific jury foreperson that convinces everyone to acquit, an educator who helps people on both sides of the gun issue form real relationships and understand each other, a prostate cancer specialist who learns to improve how he counsels his patients.

This isn’t a self-help book - it’s more like a book of behavioral psychology, negotiation, and interpersonal dynamics. He uses complex real-world cases to underscore his four rules to have better conversations and form deeper connections and constantly reinforces them with examples and sample questions. Truly excellent writing!

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Let me start out by saying that this is NOT my genre. Most nonfiction I read is about business and/or product and doesn’t really fall into the “personal development” category. I’ve just never found a nonfiction book in that category that really does it for me in terms of making me reevaluate my personal choices or bestows some great knowledge I’ll carry with me regarding my personal psyche.

Supercommunicators was no exception to the above feelings. However, it certainly had moments that made me want to rethink some of that. Charles Duhigg writes really well and it’s so abundantly obvious that he cares about the subject matter and about the people he interviewed as research for the book. The stories he helps to tell are interesting and compelling and I found myself wanting MORE examples, MORE interviews instead of the “just the facts, ma’am” aspects that parts of the book offered.

That’s a hot take for me. Usually I’m a “one example and move on” kind of reader but with what Duhigg wants us to take away, I found it easier to understand the point when hearing other peoples’ experiences. The black-and-white bulleted and seemingly step-by-step instructions of HOW to be a Supercommunicator fell flat for me. The stories from other Supercommunicators made those chapters of this book soar.

Overall, a very solid read from Duhigg and I’ll definitely be referencing some of the stories in here for years to come so for that, I’m grateful to have spent time reading this book.

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House for this ARC!

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I was surprised and impressed by this one. Many of the studies were new to me, and I've read a lot of social science, which tends to repeat itself. I loved the section about astronauts and how NASA uses this science in its interviews. I also thought there was an ample amount of practical applications for people who are looking for more of a self-help read.

I may include this in a series with Atomic Habits and some others and teach a few classes from their principles.

Thank you NetGalley, LibroFM and the publisher for the ARC. i purchased for my library.

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Having learned a lot from the author's book "The Power of Habit," I could not wait to read his new one. And the book did not disappoint! Through research and stories, he focuses in on three conversations -- 'What's this really about," "how do we feel" and "Who are we" - every conversation is made up of paying attention and making small choices along the way. Under each of these is a corresponding mindset - decision=making, emotional, social. He next turns to the learning conversation with four rules -- first - pay attention to what kind of conversation is occurring -- seems simple enough - but I am amazed at how many times I don't stop to think about that and instead react or let my emotions take over. Next is what our goals are for the conversation - what do we/they need - helped? hugged? Heard? -- another great lesson because I jump into problem-solving mode immediately when all my son or husband want is for me to listen and be heard or hugged. Part II of this book is a guide on how to use all of the ideas - including preparing for the conversation and paying attention to clues during conversations. One of my favorite examples is about the television show "The Big Bang Theory." There are also guidelines for hard conversations and working through conflict. This book was a fun read with lots of practical tips.

Thank you to Netgalley and Random House Publishing Group - Random House for an ARC and I voluntarily left this review.

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*Disclaimer: I received a free copy of Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection by Charles Duhigg on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*

Ever had an argument with someone where you both agree, but still can’t see eye to eye? The answer, according to Charles Duhigg, might be because both of you are engaging in two wildly different conversations and just don’t know it.

Charles Duhigg is a reporter who wrote the incredibly popular book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business that was published in 2012. Told through a collection of psychology studies and stories, Duhigg argues that all conversations can be defined into three different overarching questions: What’s this really about? How do we feel? Who are we? Duhigg defines supercommunicators as those who are incredibly in-tune with others’ emotions and can pick up on the type of conversations that are happening. Understanding these conversation types and the underlying mechanics for each can lead to better, more impactful communication.

The anecdotes in this book are a mix of history and psychology case studies. Duhigg writes in a way where his voice fades and I am focused on the story he is telling or the connection he is making. Some of the stories included dragged on for a while, but overall the author did a great job at tying each story to the point he was trying to make.

Supercommunicators is not just an interesting collection of stories but practical advice on how we can become better listeners and communicators. Duhigg offers practical advice on identifying these conversations through fascinating reporting, from a Netflix board room, a convention of hedge fund managers, to a tense jury room.

Part entertaining, part tips that I can use in every conversation, I really enjoyed Supercommunicators and think you will too.

You should check out this book if:
+ You want to understand how to better communicate with friends, family, or coworkers.
+ You love learning about all the ways that humans communicate.
+ You love reading about psychology.

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Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, by Charles Duhigg: This was absolutely fantastic. Researcher Charles Duhigg teaches a framework for recognizing three different types of conversations people have (“what’s this really about?”, “who are we?”, and “how do we feel?”), and then teaches how to match those and take the other person’s emotions and experiences into account in your response. As a consultant, I know that what clients verbally say may not reflect how they really feel / what they want; this book helps you read between the lines and learn how to connect more deeply and effectively with everyone you meet. I absolutely loved “The Power of Habit”, and Duhigg uses the same storytelling / science / conclusion formula to present his research in a really engaging and easy to read way. I am recommending this book to everyone I know!

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Supercommunicators explores the processes we can follow to improve our communication and connect better with others. It's well-organized and detailed. I enjoyed this book, but felt much of the information was either kind of obvious, or kind of off-kilter. Something about the way this book organizes discussions around race and fun violence felt a bit off, and almost like it was intentionally leaving out information to avoid offending or off-putting readers who might be racist or have other problematic views. While I do believe communication and debate are important, it also feels like this book somewhat gives validity to views that de-humanize others, which I'm fundamentally opposed to.

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I found this to be an interesting exploration of different types of communication and what makes some more effective than others. The secret lies in connection to your audience, and I truly enjoyed the manner in which this material was presented.
My only regret is that I chose a written copy. I heard the author, Charles Duhigg, on the Armchair Expert podcast, and found him very engaging and likable. Since he narrates the audio version, I’ll go that route if I choose to revisit this info.
Much thanks to NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group- Random House for allowing access to a digital ARC.

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Really interesting, especially if you are studying this topic for school. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC. #sponsored

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This book was awesome! It laid out how not only how vital communication is, but why it is so important and how to best utilize it. Incredibly easy to read and understand. It’s more beneficial than just a regular self help book. This book can help individuals, organizations, families, companies, etc!

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