4.75/5

Anna Dorn, you crazy woman!

This book is for the fans of campy, rompy fun. This is, in my opinion, one of the best books to kick off the summer with. Astrid Dahl is a fun and likable (???) dislikable character who is struggling with her writing, her livelihood, and also being canceled on social media.

I loved all the takes on celebrity, publishing, and just Astrid’s mind itself. She is so messy but also redeeming in her own light compared to all the other messy characters she meets. We feel her pain. We feel her fear. We feel her high. We feel the gears in her brain turning the same time she does. I enjoyed reading about Astrid’s questionable instincts, debauched desires, and finding out what would happen if you just screwed it all and did the thing you shouldn’t do!

This was funny and relatable, but also allowed the reader to be a little bit introspective themselves. Or not. Either way, I recommend this to all messy women who just want to have fun!

Purfume & Pain is a poignant, character driven drama that follows the painfully relatable Astrid as she hits a mid30s slump, and attempts to straighten herself out. Astrid is such an easy character to root for, despite (or possibly because of?) her many flaws. And surrounding her are many enjoyable side characters that help round her out and make her trainwreck of a life more palatable.

I enjoyed the commentary around women's sexuality and lesbianism that this novel provided. I felt that the story provided a very realistic look into modern queer culture (although I know Astrid would despise that I'm using the term queer) in a way that most media is afraid to do.

This novel is quite addictive, a fast fun read that I will certainly be recommending. I really fell in love with Anna Dorn's writing style and creative voice.

I'd like to thank the publisher for providing me with a free ARC through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the eARC of Perfume & Pain by Anna Dorn – available May 21, 2024.

Perfume & Pain TL;DR:
💥 Addiction and Self-Destructive Tendencies
🏳️‍🌈 Contemporary Lesbian Culture
📝 Compelling Protagonist and Narrative

Perfume & Pain follows Astrid Dahl, a lesbian writer navigating the aftermath of a public cancellation while grappling with addiction and self-destructive tendencies. Amidst the chaos of her personal life, Astrid finds solace in writing groups, substances, and fleeting relationships. As she embarks on a journey of self-discovery, Astrid's encounters with a new neighbor and a famous actress optioning one of her books add layers of complexity to her already turbulent existence.

Dorn's writing style in Perfume & Pain is unflinchingly honest, capturing the messy realities of addiction and the challenges of navigating a world that often demands conformity. While the introspective narrative may drag for some readers, it ultimately serves to enhance the authenticity of Astrid's journey. Through Astrid's witty yet flawed character, Dorn skillfully explores themes of friendship, community, and the search for meaning, offering readers a thought-provoking exploration of contemporary lesbian culture.

Perfume & Pain is a captivating and unforgettable read that leaves a lasting impression. Despite Astrid's frustrating moments, her journey of resilience and self-discovery resonates deeply, making her a compelling protagonist. Dorn's ability to blend humor with stark realism creates a narrative that is both entertaining and thought-provoking. If you're looking for a messy yet unapologetic portrayal of queer life, Perfume & Pain is an absolute must-read.

okay I cannot lie I wasn’t the biggest fan. I think the mc can be too edgelord millennial for my taste and it’s like all of the really good points made about what it’s like being a lesbian (esp one in a double femme relationship) was overshadowed by an obnoxious mc

this was pure amusement, tongue in cheek, down and dirty lesbian mess! my favorite genre.

astrid dahl is as unlikeable as they come, and yet watching her clamor through her (many) addictions, her cancellable blunders, her white-hot and chemically toxic relationships, her overt self-awareness that often devolves into delusion—you have to see her story through, you're maybe charmed by her in spite of yourself? and you're definitely reading (or rereading) the price of salt when you're finished.

as a lesbian who has scarcely read lesbian pulp (sue me?) i still reveled in the homage and pastiche (astrid said it best) of perfume and pain. i saw a lot of myself in this novel (red flag? sue me again!). anna dorn is so sharp, so brilliant, so hilarious; i laughed out loud many times while reading. giggled, even!!

many thanks to simon & schuster and netgalley for the arc!

Anna Dorn writes like your favorite pop song that gets stuck in your head. I read this book from May 1-4th. It was the only thing I can think about. It was like the end of Beyoncé’s Buckin’, “look at that horse, look at that horse!” Each moment is repeating in my mind from the Zoom to the pool to the very elusive Kay Gold. Astrid seemed grounded and about her problems but the reality of being a human.

I love a messy and feel good novel about growth and trying to be better. It takes a lot to get there.

Perfume and Pain is a refreshing homage to the pulpy paperbacks of the past while also being completely new and contemporary. The story follows Astrid, an author and perfume enthusiast living in Los Angeles. Unlike her younger peers and readers, Astrid's mindset toward culture and identity aligns more with the trailblazers and advocates of the past more than the language surrounding social justice on social media and within community today. Because of this, she has gotten in trouble with her publisher and the general public. Recovering from being canceled as well as from her benders, we follow Astrid as she slips into old patterns involving her habits, relationships, and inner dialogue.

Astrid is unlikeable but I found myself liking her even despite herself. I was rooting for her and felt like a friend who wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her awake. I found myself yearning for her to get better and to become the person the reader knows she's capable of becoming. It felt cathartic to follow her on this journey and the end result feels well earned, it feels human. It's comforting to be able to relate to to someone making bad decisions as a form of self sabotage and self harm. It's a reminder you aren't alone and it actually takes a LOT of work to fully ruin your life. Reading Perfume and Pain, you get upset at our protagonist for the same reasons her close friends are upset at her. But you also feel for her and understand that this is rock bottom so you can't help but care and cheer her on either. She's a difficult person to abandon and I think that's why I kept telling myself "just one more chapter" each time it was time to put down the book.

At times, the inception of a thinly veiled autobiographical author writing about a thinly veiled autobiographical author felt distracting. I don't really mind self-inserts but the way the other characters talked about Astrid's writing habits felt a little too much like the author trying to wink at the reader often. That being said, I was really hooked on this story and became fully invested in Astrid's journey, recovery, and self realizations. I also loved the descriptions of Los Angeles, it felt true to the city and as someone who moved away this past year, it also felt like a little piece of home that I can return to without needing a plane ticket. I will definitely be recommending this one to others!

Perfume and Pain is a captivating drama infused with satire and clever jabs at Hollywood. The intriguing characters and compelling storyline immediately drew me in from the very start. This novel is a must-read for anyone looking for a witty and entertaining take on the entertainment industry.

Astrid Dahl is a perfume collector who assiduously catalogues the scent of everything in her world. She’s a writer, and by her own account she’s toxic in any relationship. She’s not wrong about that. She’s so self-destructive that I didn’t want to like her. I really didn’t. But I loved her.

Her bravado wins me over, in spite of the drugs, the self-deceit, the elaborate posing, the destructiveness. She’s bright, full of curiosity, and most of the time full of a “magic cocktail” (alcohol, sativa, Adderall, and cigarettes) that masks her insecurities. She names it after a writer whose deceit and darkness and skill she admires: “On the Patricia Highsmith, I could do anything. I published three books, optioned two.”

This character embodies the kind of personality, the kind of femininity, that she herself says she’s drawn to: “..the type of femininity I’ve always been attracted to: fevered verbosity.” It makes her story rich, verbally exciting, a thrill ride for the ages.

Edgy and brash, she’s the ultimate unreliable narrator – both unreliable and totally aware of her own unreliability. Come for the drama, the breathtaking bravado, the deception and self-deception, and stay for the biting commentary, the arrows that hit center. This novel is filled with little observations that turn into a barely self-aware comment, and then BOOM, a comment that feels so sudden and revelatory, so unexpectedly self-revelatory and smart, that I often shouted “Yes!” as I was reading.

On her friend Zev: “We went to college together; my fag hag years, when I was afraid to be near anyone I wanted to fuck or who wanted to fuck me. Fine, I guess I’m still like that a bit. Fear is desire’s cousin.”

On her lack of confidence: “People with healthy egos don’t become writers; they become engineers.”

On finding her new home has a yard shared with the neighbor, she panics. “’Shared yard?’ I say. ‘Shared with whom?’ I really don’t like to share property, or anything else. I’ve always lived alone, always preferred to live in a shitty studio than with roommates. I don’t like witnesses.”
Her character is complex and interesting. For example, she likes Alice Coltrane. That could send you off on a deep dive checking out who Alice Coltrane is and why Astrid might like her music – and it’s a journey you’ll be glad for. The things and people (authors, musicians) this character really likes make up a smart and beguiling world. The depth of her interests promises something about her, and convinces me she’s worth it.

She’s a lesbian, but because she’s more comfortable with gay men than with gay women – and she knows some of this is just her own insecurity – she’s able to observe both those worlds with a sharp accuracy. She observes that “lesbians make everyone uncomfortable.”
“With gay men, it’s completely different. The sex act is unsettling to people, has been criminalized at various points throughout history, but their partnering is championed, met with parades and rainbow flags and pride. With lesbians, it’s the opposite. The sex act is eroticized, drives the entire porn industry (so I’ve heard!) but our partnering is unnerving to people.”

She scrutinizes her own guilt at enjoying gay male culture – “I’ve always felt close to gay male culture – uppers and camp and Azealia Banks. Like Camille Paglia said: ‘When I meet gay men anywhere in the world, there is a spontaneity and a spirit of fun and mischief that lesbians seem incapable of.’ I suppose in aligning myself with gay men, I was participating in a subconscious form of lesbian erasure.”
Astrid is in her 30s now, a little past the rush and bloom and energy of being 20-something, far enough past that she sees how her image has changed, against her will:

“There was a point at which my politics matched the zeitgeist, and maybe this is just part of aging, but lately my politics feel unfashionable. When I was twenty-eight and published my first book, being a lesbian novelist writing lesbian novels gave me edge and political relevance. Now, the publishing world simply sees me as white and cis and straight-passing, which I am, and was therefore probably unfairly granted political relevance to begin with.”

Ouch. But so true. So very true.

This book will appeal primarily to a lesbian audience, particularly one that knows the appeal of a past era’s lesbian pulp novels – seedy, smart, and thrilling. I hope that it will also make it onto the bookshelves of young women, even cis straight women, because all of its smartness and insecurities are the same ones I see in many of them. When someone comments to Astrid that she is strange, she acknowledges to herself how strange she really is, but “the comment still hurts, I suppose because I’m human. Wanting to be liked is the ickiest sensation.”

Young women everywhere – this book understands you. It has your back.

Thanks to #netgalley and #SimonBooks for the ARC.

This was a messy book. In the best way possible. It is such an interestkng take on lesbian pulp. I relate so much to Astrid in mannerisms, relating to the world around her, the way she deals with difficult situations (minus the whole Patricia Highsmith). She is chaotic and unapologetic while trying to do better. Astrid is chaotic and self destructive, but trying to figure herself out.

This is my 3rd Anna Dorn book, having previously purchased and read Exalted and Vagablonde. She has such an interesting and specific skill of writing the absolute descent into madness through a lost young woman's eyes. I myself am a New York City lesbian who is arts community-adjacent, so reading about the lesbian LA arts community? It felt salacious and delicious, especially through Astrid's sharp POV. I loved and hated all of the characters, but I just loved the book.

"Perfume and Pain" captivated me from start to finish, serving as a complex and delightful homage to Lesbian pulp novels of the past.
Narrated by the cynical and “lightly canceled” lesbian writer, Astrid Dahl, the book offers a slice of her turbulent life in Los Angeles. From her involvement with the Sapphic Scribes, a writers group she founded in college, to her fixation on fellow member, Ivy, and their toxic relationship, Astrid's narrative is filled with intrigue. She has a strained relationship with her editor, her family is emotionally distant and disappointed in her career choices, she doesn’t pay attention to the details of her friend’s lives, she reluctantly engages in a friendship with her new neighbor, Penelope, and agrees to let actress Kat Gold shadow her for a role in an adaptation of one of her earlier novels. All of these relationships add drama and complexity to the mix.

Astrid's voice, characterized by her sardonic inner dialogue and her reliance on "The Patricia Highsmith" (a mix of adderall, alcohol, and chain smoked cigarettes), for writing inspiration, paints a kinetic, funny, yet fragmented picture of her world. She sometimes enters into a situation high on a concoction of drugs, then blacks out and comes-to in a different place or scene. She’s often hyper-critical of everything around her, but Astrid's tendency to verbally "punch down" results in Astrid hitting herself, over and over again. This self-destructive streak, coupled with her observations of the sometimes mutually unhinged behavior of those around her, makes for a compelling character study. "Perfume and Pain" skillfully navigates themes of dissociation and obsession, showing us that self-absorption isn't always synonymous with self-awareness.

What struck me most about the book was its ability to balance serious conflicts with humor. The characters remain deeply flawed yet likable, and I found myself rooting for each of them- except for the random man wearing a “Bottoms for Hillary” t-shirt that spits on Astrid, and Ivy.

"Perfume and Pain" is a captivating read that offers both depth and entertainment. I highly recommend it to anyone seeking a thought-provoking and humorous exploration of human nature, some steamy lesbian sex, and maybe a touch of hard-earned character growth at the end of the rainbow.

I immensely enjoyed this work. Astrid is, an at times, likable character whose Patricia Highsmith drug binges, dating antics, and “hot takes” are amusing but you want to shake the character as she just cannot seem to get out of her own way.

Midway through the book, I put my iPad down and explained to my wife, “this book is so gay!” And it is VERY gay …and I loved it - loved every last kardashian, housewives, Rachel weisz, and carol reference.

I particularly enjoyed the commentary on the lesbian/sappho origins and the glamour and beauty and femininity that women who love women evoked at the time, contrasted with the hypermasculine stereotypes that dominate lesbian culture today.

If you have ever dated a clingy and a bit off kilter ex who texts you 32 times in a row, this book might be for you. If you like messy lesbian LA culture, this book might be for you. If you know who Patricia Highsmith is and obsess over Rachel Weiss’s bone structure, again, this book may be for you.


(A fun read! I have a book crush on Penelope.)

Thank you to the publisher, Simon & Schuster, and Netgalley for providing me with an early copy of this book in exchange for my unbiased review.

Really liked this book, it was a pretty quick read. Very messy, very gay, very bad choices. Would recommend if you like any of the above.

So, lesbian pulp isn’t a genre I’m particularly familiar with, but Perfume and Pain was definitely a nice way to put my foot in the door. Anna Dorn paints quite a picture about writer Astrid Dahl who is a very provocative, problematic, and self-sabotaging lesbian who ultimately just wants to be successful and loved without being under the influence of her substance filled cocktail known as the “Patricia Highsmith.” The female supporting characters in Astrid’s world are vividly drawn while the male characters are a bit lacking, but this is very appropriate. She’s not really a sympathetic protagonist but boy does she take you on a ride and get you to think about aspects of the lesbian world (she would be upset if I said queer.) It’s a book I won’t be forgetting any time soon.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for kindly providing this arc in exchange for my honest review.

4.5*

This book is immediately being added to my list of essential lesbian reads 

I was excited to read this one because Anna Dorn’s books kept floating around my TBR, but I never picked one up until now. After reading this, I think she has gained a fan. I knew I was going to like this as soon as I read the synopsis, and was only even more convinced when in the first few pages my favorite Goodreads list “She’s Not Feeling Good At All” was mentioned by name, and this rightfully earns a spot on said list. 

At first I struggled with how the characters speak. If you are not familiar with internet culture and slang, you might feel like you are reading a completely different language when reading this book as everyone speaks with a pronounced “Gen Z” twang. As I am (unfortunately) chronically online, it was a quick adjustment for me, but I can see how this could be alienating for others.

I particularly loved Astrid. Reading about her and all her pitfalls made me realize I have never had a unique experience in my life. Sometimes the protagonists within the books listed on the “She’s Not Feeling Good At All” list struggle with making me care about them because they are not complex and only exist to be awful. However, while it is very clear that Astrid is rough around the edges, she is so deeply relatable that it made me desperate to keep reading as I felt as if her plight was my own. I mean I too have lied to my therapist and put too much faith in crystals and astrology, so who am I to judge?

Overall, I loved how messy this was and I can’t wait to read more by Anna Dorn! 

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the eARC!

(3.5 stars)

Astrid is a writer living in LA, currently in a writing slump. Forced to move into a new bungalow, she's annoyed that her neighbor is an unfriendly older lesbian. She has a crush on Ivy from her Zoom writers' group, and they meet and fall for each other in an alcohol and Adderall haze. (Most of this book was about blacking out from different substances). Soon Ivy becomes a rollercoaster of a relationship, dragging Astrid through all the ups and downs. This book felt a lot like The L Word on amphetamines and dealing with addiction. I wish more of the book was about Astrid's redemption story and less of the struggles and drama. I was also surprised there wasn't more steam in this since it's a book about lesbian relationships.

I really enjoyed this book. Messy, queer, and weird are three of my favorite adjectives to describe books, and I could 100% use all three for this book in different ways. (I would certainly say lesbian and not queer!!) You know it's a good book when you go immediately look up an author's backlist to seek out more content.

Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC.

Perfume & Pain gave me anxiety in the best way. This book is unhinged and the main character is what I imagine what a sapphic version of Ottessa Moshfegh’s lead characters would look like. It’s almost too relatable if you’re a queer woman. Imagine The L Word but if you made Jenny and Shane into one character with only their worst qualities and made them the focal point of of the chaos.

Dorn’s writing is great and this fast paced book is so entertaining. Definitely recommend.

Objectively, this is compelling enough as a novel… for me, though… so many things didn’t hit.

I don’t want to bash the book. I know it will be loved by many, and I can see why. This is lesbian pulpy goodness. It gets under your skin! But, I didn’t like the mc. It was a chore to get into her headspace.

The relationships and the encounters she has are either just terrible luck or a type she has, which she needs to reformat what that looks like because it does her ZERO favors… Penelope though, she is this older woman who burrows under her surface.

I enjoyed the relationship progression with the mc and her brother. There were really silly parts in this book and some really wild parts. Ultimately, the mc’s darker personality was daunting to me.