Five stars - This book is a startling and deeply nuanced look at the life and abuse of a criminalized survivor. Written by her sister who became a de facto (but wonderful) mother to her two children, this book details the abuse and subsequent incarceration of Nicole Addimando. This book explores how the justice system failed Addimando at every step of the way and demonstrates exactly why victims of domestic violence do not come forward. This book also illustrates why so many victims of domestic violence become criminalized survivors. I stand with Nikki.

I vaguely remember hearing about this case but didn't know any of the details going into this book. I didn't google or look up any details so I could strictly experience it through Michelle's telling of the story. I swung back and forth between saddened and outraged throughout the entire book. This book wasn't just about Nikki's story but how it impacted every member of their family. The author did a great job holding this tension without taking away from the main issue at hand... the gross miscarriage of justice against this young woman.

I am glad I listened to the audiobook version as it did include throughout the book recordings of the actual calls with Nikki while she was in jail.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you to Net Galley and Hachette Audio, Grand Central Publishing for the ARC of Dear Sister.

This book was infuriating, emotional and so important. Michelle and Nikki’s story is a critical one for all women living in the world today- especially those in the United States, tracking the abuse to prison pipeline.

Any woman could be Nikki, I surely could be. I had an incredibly physically abusive ex-boyfriend who came close to ending my life. If I had been in Nikki’s shoes, I cannot say that I would not have made the same choices Nikki was forced to. An outline of our ignorant justice system that continues to see women as less than and ignore substantial evidence of abuse in our country.

Michelle writes a fantastic saga of her experience championing her sister and her sister’s choices- fighting the whole way for justice for Nikki and her children. Michelle is able to describe all of the players throughout courts and jails with such detail that the reader gets a very clear picture of the personality and traits of each. The reader becomes incredibly invested in both Michelle and Nikki, as well as the children (both Nikki’s son and daughter and Michelle’s son). I surely hope that Michelle writes another memoir of an update on everything and changes that many are attempting to make for the benefit of women everywhere.

There were points throughout the book where I cycled through disgust, anger, laughed and cried. It is infuriating what Nikki and her family have gone through and continue to. A memoir of strong, badass women sticking up for one another and standing by each other.

In the audiobook, which Michelle narrates herself, she also add in actual conversations with her sister and testimonies from court which gave the reader a little more of an insider look into Nikki and her story. Michelle was a fantastic narrator with her pacing, tone and intonation.

10/10 would recommend this book and would definitely recommend listening to the audiobook version. I could not stop listening!

I feel like I’ve been searching out voices about incarceration and its affects in a long term way. My top memoir of all time is Anthony Ray Hinton’s and then last year read Mama Love, so when I saw this come up on NG, I thought it would be a good audiobook to start January’s reads.

A novel that centres around a sisters voice. One that finds her sister Nikki put in jail for self defence in an abusive situation. It reads as a non fiction with more facts then emotional pieces but there were moments where I was tearing up and they were in the audio clips between Nikki and her kids.
(Yes they’re the actual audios)

It was such a thought provoking read. One that opens your eyes to the vibrations to a family when one member is sent to jail. And a spotlight on the justice system with women snapping after being dealt with the hands of abuse over years.

Perfect quote to sum it up:
“Children serve their parents prison sentence too. So do family members who are left behind to raise the kids..and manage the ripple affects of imprisonment. The circles of impact are vast”.

If you are looking for a book that will totally gut you...look no further.
If you are looking for a good cry, or a reason to thank God for the simple life that you live... or a thousand other scenarios...well, here it is...
***BUT...be warned...there are multiple triggers in this one... Abuse (multiple, and at a young age too), Gaslighting, mind games and non-consensual sex with a partner...who is also abusing you... ***

That being said, this was a remarkable book!

And, I was not sure I was going to like it. I have certain audiobook narrators that I love, so when I saw that this was written by a family member, and read by same, I had my doubts... but the pure content of this book, the unending, unwavering love of both family and friends, the sisterhood that formed between friends, neighbors, and even strangers... well, it was just breathtaking, phenomenal and awe inspiring...to say the least.

OK..moving on to the book.

#DearSister by #MichelleHorton

This was one of the most striking portrayals of abuse that I have ever encountered. And to find out that that was a TRUE CASE... inspired by a woman in Upstate NY whose sister (Nikki) was put in jail for killing her partner. Michelle (the sister who writes the book) goes on to recount the story of how she learned that her sister was being arrested for murder.
Well, this must be a mistake. She wouldn't hurt a fly....

And then the whole story unravels...right...before...her...eyes....

She was clueless. She had absolutely no idea of the abuse that was occurring on a daily basis. Of the hurt, pain, shame and fear her sister faced. Of how she was willing to hide everything in order to protect herself and her two young children.
But then, it all comes out...

This book will bring you on a journey of the uphill battle women face when they try to protect themselves, and don't get themselves killed in an abusive relationship.

To see how the police, lawyers, judge, etc...treated her. Well, they should all be ASHAMED of themselves. So disappointing...
But Thank God Michelle and Nikki did NOT give up and kept fighting...until they were finally heard.

I cannot give this one enough stars...
I cannot even begin to verbalize what happened to this poor family.
I can tell you that the judge and lawyer should be put in jail for their absurd beliefs...

5+ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 for me!

Dear Sister by Michelle Horton... The true story of Nikki Addimando.

Thanks to #NetGalley, #HachetteAudio and #GrandCentralPublishing for an ARC of the audiobook which was released yesterday, 1/30/24.

If you have the ability to read this one, it is one that is definitely worth the read, although...VERY DIFFICULT TO READ at many times throughout the book. So much so, that I was literally hysterical crying....

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As always, thanks for reading! 📚📖⭐️

What a book. I wasn't following this case closely when it happened. Or maybe I knew about it then, but my brain blocked it out because I didn't want to remember what the justice system would do. Well done from the sister's perspective, but she didn't make it too much about herself, she kept the focus on her sister who is the main character in this. The story kept my focus the whole time, the pacing was just right. And none of the details ever got too in depth, and maybe some of that was the author giving a warning of some of the graphic content. I really appreciated that detail and heads up at the beginning. This was a really emotional, hard book to read, but such an important one. I am glad Nikki has since been released and gets to share this publication day with her sister.

This touched my soul in a way I did not expect. It made me incredibly angry, while it also soothed me. I wanted to jump up and scream, but also curl up and be quiet with my own family. The strength and courage of both Nikki and Michelle, as well as their young children, blew my mind.
I am awestruck by these incredibly strong women. Thank you for telling their story Michelle.

Michelle Horton's powerful debut, DEAR SISTER: A Memoir of Secrets, Survival, and Unbreakable Bonds, is a heartbreaking story of her sister's years of domestic abuse, murder, and an unfair justice system leading to her prison away from her children.

Horton's story is a must-read, an essential call to action for judicial reform, accountability, and protection of those who suffer abuse from domestic violence. In America, domestic violence accounts for 15% of all violent crimes that cannot be overlooked.

Michelle Horton pulls back the curtain in this well-written personal memoir, revealing the human side behind what you read in the news or see on TV. Told with love, passion, and sensitivity, DEAR SISTER is sometimes challenging to read; however, it is critical. Victims of domestic violence need to get help because the system does not always protect the victim.

In 2017, Michelle's younger sister, Nikki Addimando, was arrested in Poughkeepsie, New York, for shooting her boyfriend, Chris Grover, with his gun after threatening to kill her. The case created a media sensation and was widely publicized.

In addition, she had suffered years of him brutally abusing (physically and sexually) her and forcing her to participate in pornography that involved rape and battery—beating and torturing her even when she was pregnant. The videos were found, and even her therapist contacted the authorities about the abuse.

Nikki was a loving mother of two small children, Ben and Faye, and was not believed, turning it around on her—from victim to perpetrator. While everyone knows when you are in an abusive relationship, it is not easy to leave due to safety and control.

From statistics to real life. Despite all the evidence, she sadly was convicted of second-degree murder in 2019 and sentenced to nineteen years in prison (which has been reduced to 7.5 years in 2021 due to the new Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act).

Addimando’s case was one of the first to test a new law in New York called the Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act. It allows a court more discretion in sentencing crimes involving domestic violence survivors if the abuse was determined to be a significant contributing factor to the defendant's criminal behavior.

However, to date, she is still in prison. Her incarceration has been hardest on her two children, whom she sees weekly during prison visits that her sister facilitates.

The author discusses her attempts to help her sister along with the events leading up to the murder and the traumas and those affected by the events. It is raw, visceral, honest, emotional, and powerful.

Addimando maintained her self-defense claims, and her attorneys presented evidence of abuse, which included Addimando’s testimony, photos and reports by forensic nurses documenting her abuse, her therapist, as well as nonconsensual pornographic images that Addimando claimed had been uploaded to a pornography site without her permission.

Michelle is also a single mom raising her son Noah and the toll it has taken on their relationship while assuming full responsibility for her sister's two children, with her ongoing support, visits, and calls to prison and advocate for her release.

Nikki did not receive clemency, so she will be released in 2024 when her children are nine and 11. They were just two and four when she was wrongly imprisoned.

DEAR SISTER is heartbreaking but a strong wake-up call to our society and judicial system that something is broken, and it must be corrected to safeguard those of domestic violence—not to humiliate them further with shame as they try to keep it hidden, taking them away from their children and family when they were only trying to protect themselves and their family.

An intimate exploration of two sisters, the complexities of familial bonds, the impacts of abuse, the horrific challenges of seeking justice in a flawed legal system, and the emotional impact on those it fails to protect.

It is a captivating and powerful testament to the resilience and strength of sisterly bonds. Hopefully, this story can bring attention to other victims and survivors. The two sisters have shown much courage, bravery, and strength—while suffering some of the worst trauma and offering inspiration to others.

Thank you for writing this story while reliving all the painful events during a pandemic raising three children! A true heroine.

BOOK & AUDIOBOOK: I read the book and also listened to the audiobook narrated by the author, Michelle Horton, for an emotionally powerful performance. The book and the audio are thought-provoking and will stay with you long after the book ends. I highly recommend the book and the audio. The audiobook also includes personal snippets of audio, recordings, interviews, and videos to enhance the listening experience further.

AUTHOR: Michelle Horton is a writer and advocates living in the Hudson Valley of NY with her son and raising her nephew and niece while her sister is incarcerated. Through the Nicole Addimando Community Defense Committee, she continues to speak out for the countless other domestic violence victims criminalized for their acts of survival.

RESOURCES: Included in the book are excellent resources and author's notes for further reading samples of supplemental reading to understand better the cultural context for many of the themes in this book —including domestic violence and how it intersects with the criminal legal system, trauma, patriarchy and misogyny, pornography addiction, abolition feminism, mass incarceration, and the long history of fights for each other's freedom.

Broken down in Parts
part 1: Truth
part 2: Reality
part 3: Hope
part 4: Courage
part 5: Unbroken
After
Epilogue
Author's Notes
and Resources

Websites:
~ SurvivedAndPunished.org
~ WeStandWithNiki.com for more about Nikki's case and Believe Her podcast

An Epidemic of Violence: PW Talks with Michelle Horton Q&A

CRIMINALIZED SURVIVAL
Being punished for Surviving

Special thanks to Grand Central Publishing, Hachette Audio, and NetGalley for a gifted ARC and ALC for an honest opinion.

Blog review posted @
JudithDCollins.com
@JudithDCollins | #JDCMustReadBooks
My Rating: 5 Stars +
Pub Date: Jan 30, 2024
Jan 2024 Must-Read Books
January Newsletter

I was so moved by this story.

First off, wow. I am so grateful to Michelle Horton for sharing hers and her family's story with us all. This book was full of deeply personal information. It brought so many feelings of hope, sadness, despair, distrust in the system and so many more.

I absolutely loved that this book was narrated by Michelle Horton herself. You could feel the raw emotion in her voice. I was in awe of the fact that she was able to get through the whole thing without breaking down, which speaks to her strength and character.

As a criminal prosecutor myself, I was appalled by Nikki's story and journey through the legal system.

This book was about the journey of Nikki Addimando who was accused of shooting and killing her husband. Nikki unequivocally pulled the trigger, there was no argument there, but it explores the deep concepts of horrific domestic violence and years of sexual abuse and torture. Nikki spent years hiding her abuse from her friends and family. Some people have no idea, some noticed signs, but did not want to speak up, and others tried to help her. One fateful night, Nikki made a decision to save her life and the life of her two young children after years of torture and abuse.

The book focuses on both Nikki's trauma as she is incarcerated, separated from her children, and forced through the legal system. It also focuses on Michelle who is newly a single mom herself, and suddenly finds herself caring for Nikki's children while simultaneously launching a fight to bring her sister home.

It was a true look at how broken the system can be sometimes. As sad as this story was, it was also filled with hope and resilience, and will hopefully bring comfort to other victims of domestic violence.

I am so sorry for the pain — the deep, devastating loss that so many people feel as a result of my action.
I’m sorry for the broken hearts and families that will never feel whole again.
I’ll live with this — what I did and didn’t do — for the rest of my life.
I wish more than anything this ended another way. If it had, I wouldn’t be in this courtroom.
But I wouldn’t be alive, either.
I wanted to live, I wanted this all to stop.
I was afraid to stay, afraid to leave, afraid that nobody would believe me, afraid of losing everything.
This is why women don’t leave.
I know killing is not a solution, and staying hurts. But leaving doesn’t mean living.
Often we end up dead, or where I’m standing.
Alive, but still not free.

—Nicole Addimando, Feb. 2020, before receiving a life sentence in prison

That statement speaks volumes. This is why women don't leave and this is why we need to do better in the criminal justice system so that victims of domestic violence aren't revictimized by the system. There needs to be so much reform. Current structures fall short in providing adequate support, protection, and justice for those that
have endured extreme trauma..

I had heard of Nikki's story through true crime podcasts in recent years and this is a beautiful but heartbreaking memoir. I'm thankful to have read this book and can only hope that it sparks much needed change!

Thank you to the family of Nikki Addimando for sharing your story. Thank you to the publisher and also NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to review this advanced reading copy.

This audiobook, narrated by author, Michelle Horton was absolutely amazing. This is the story of Nikki Addimando told in the form of a memoir from her sister, Michelle’s point of view.. In September, 2017 Nikki shot her partner and was incarcerated. The investigation reveals that Nikki had been horrifically physically and sexually abused for years. Michelle tells about their experiences with the criminal justice system that ensued. You even hear real audio from Nikki and her family from that time.

This story hit close to home for me for many reasons. I am from upstate NY, just a few hours from Poughkeepsie where this all took place. I remember hearing and reading about this story on the news. I am also a survivor of domestic abuse and have come out on the other side. No one understands why abused men and women just don’t leave in these situations- especially those where children are involved. Here, we had a situation where Nikki seemingly did everything we tell survivors to do and it still wasn’t enough. Our society needs to hear this.

This is a heart wrenching story everyone should hear and understand. Michelle Horton tells this story eloquently and respectfully- respecting Nikki’s children’s and Chris Grover’s family and experiences, as well. This audiobook is just beautifully done and most certainly a 5 star read. I will recommend to everyone I know.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Hachette Audio who provided me with this ARC of this audiobook in exchange for my honest thoughts and review. I am grateful for the opportunity.

I listen to a lot of audiobooks and I have to say that this one was so unique and so very well done. Not only am I highly recommending this memoir but I’m also recommending that you choose to use audiobook for it. I remember listening to this one and hearing the audio clips recorded jail calls of Nikki calling home to talk to her kids and family + audio clips of Nikki’s actual sentencing statement in court. At that moment, I rewinded and listened again because I was shocked. I immediately felt transported into their lives at this horrible time and could feel the emotions of those phone calls and experience.

While chatting with the author, she mentioned, “I thought it would help listeners to hear her and the kids’ actual voices. And I obsessively documented everything, so I had tons of recordings.” 🥺

This memoir is devastating and heartbreaking. It shines a light on how our justice system can fail victims of domestic violence. I am so thankful to have read this and have am appreciated that the author would share this experience with the world. 💜

Dear Sister is a captivating memoir from Michelle Horton, sister of high-profile Nikki Addimando, incarcerated for killing her abuser. This is so incredibly well written, and takes a deep dive into the deeply flawed criminal justice system and process. I learned so, so much, and it has left me feeling even more enraged by the ways in which the U.S. justice system fails domestic violence victims.

I specifically requested this title (in hardcover and audio) as I'd recently watched a documentary on the case, and was most intrigued and eager to learn more.

I'll be honest: when I first started this book, I had a bad taste in my mouth about it. I thought: "How is this sister going to use her sister's experiences to capitalize?" It felt very self important, and almost exploitative. Afterall, this is Nikki's story to tell.

Though after finishing this book, I realize how incredibly wrong I was. This isn't just Nikki's story. This is Michelle's story, too - as sister, friend, and coparent. Michelle gets to have her own story, as her life and the life of her child were forever changed. This is Nikki's story as well, but through Michelle's lens. I guess I didn't quite understand the ways in which this journey impacted both sisters, which makes me most appreciative to have had the opportunity to read this book.

The audiobook is definitely the way to go here (or reading both simultaneously, as I did). Michelle narrates her own words here, and she does such a great job! The audiobook includes snippets of audio recordings: phone calls, home video, etc. This is a nice touch and really adds to the overall experience.

I highly, highly recommend this book. Its not one I'll soon forget, and I thank GCP and Hachette Audio for my gifted copies.

Available soon! (1/30)

Many thanks to NetGalley, Grand Central Publishing, and Hachette Audio for gifting me an audio ARC of this heartbreaking true story written and narrated by Michelle Horton - 5 stars!

In 2017, Nikki Addimando shot and killed her partner and father of her two young children. It was only afterwards that her family learned of the horrific abuses she had been living with. Her sister, Michelle, stepped up and took in Nikki's two children and began the flight of both their lives within the legal system.

As a former domestic abuse victim, this story felt so real and personal. While I understand that the legal system has to have laws in place to prevent further abuses of the system, there appeared to be so much documentation and witness statements of Nikki's abuse that was just ignored. Even people who think they understand still say - why didn't she just leave? They don't understand the mental changes that happen when someone you love hurts you. I just read that Nikki has been released from prison - I hope that she and her family can begin to heal. Because her story affects so many - Michelle was wonderful to step up and be a substitute mom for Nikki's children, at the expense of her own child and career. This is such an important story for everyone to read.

What a heartbreaking journey to follow along with. I hope more people read this and realize the importance of this book. Thank you for the opportunity to read this early.