Thank you, NetGalley and TantorAudio for this audiobook for review. Apt to have read and reviewed this for Mother's Day. Who is a Worthy Mother? This book discusses the history of adoption as the author herself was adopted and has no ties to her biological parents. She was only told her biological mother was in grad school and gave her up to finish school. The author's sister was also adopted. The author speaks to how adoption has shaped her life and her sister's life, and their decisions growing up. It has been brought forth by Republicans recently how adoption can be the answer to decrease abortions rates (but instead this is forcing women into the trauma of birth and then giving up their infants). The author discusses how adoption has been hidden secrets so children don't know their history and how this can harm them. This book was a fascinating look at adoption throughout the decades and how the US has previously used stealing children to create perfect families and how possibly, yet again, we are moving towards that by using adoption as a means to get rid of abortion to create families by hurting poor and impoverished women.

I wanted to read this book since adoption is close to me. This is a great history on adoption, beyond just the Georgia Tann era.

It questions what those in charge of policy and social narrative ask, what is “standard American family” and who gets to decide if you meet that definition? Reading through history feels like a sci-fi book of events that could not be possible, but is the true unethical history of adoption.

The author compares adoption to Native American assimilation (ex:to the adoptive family culture, to blend in and be grateful). The authors description made a clear point of comparison to that of the Native American history, and also how assimilation schools are also part of adoption history.

Fighting poverty through sterilization and adoption projects. Not allowing woman autonomy over her fertility decisions. Forced sterilization to breed out defects. Using manipulation and coercion as the core of forced adoption. The mentality to prevent pregnancy and parenting is eye opening at the determination of social acceptance.

While this book is about adoption it is more about how policy, laws and social support play into family preservation, especially among indigenous people, people of color and the poor. Over time the narrative that has been fed to people has changed the view community has on adoption. Birth mothers moved from endangered to dangerous, and by no surprise adoptions more than doubled during this time. Refocusing the narrative on the adoptive parents as savior mentality or even a patriotic duty.

The topic was interesting and I quickly listened to this book. Even if adoption isn’t close to your heart, but especially if it is, I recommend reading this book. The historical social injustice and what feeds the industry today has to be understood to prevent unethical behavior in the adoption industry and our current laws and regulations.

This has been posted to Goodreads.

I cried often reading this book; having felt so seen as my experiences as an adoption survivor were shared in the words of others.

While there has been some reform since my adoption, non-familial adoption is still largely trauma and exploitation.

This book will change how the reader thinks about adoption, particularly celebrity adoptions.

It is not savory. The truth about adoption is not the fairytale you’ve been led to believe.

There needs to be massive reform both with laws and practices as well as attitudes and treatment of adoptees.

It broke my heart to read about the people who were adopted by whites and their additional grief and pain for the loss of their most truest identity.

I can only relate a little. I am French and Jewish but was handed over to Italian Catholics. From a very young age I rejected being Italian and the Catholic religion. It was a constant source of contention and anger. Many efforts were made to push me into submission and acceptance. I refused but yet also felt so sad I did not have the histories, cultures, and ties to ancestors my friends had. Years later when I would finally learn I was French and Jewish, a serene peace came over me. While I have since learned French and am converting to Judaism, I still feel so much grief because I will always and forever feel like I have an accent, that I am a foreign or in a foreign land. I will never be Jewish the way others are Jewish. There is still so much pain from grief and loss. This is a small pain compared to the life damaging pain of those taken from their homeland or tribe and given to white peoples.

I am begging everyone to read this book

Absolutely incredible book on the history of adoption in the United States. Wellington, an adoptee herself, does an amazing job at examining how the United States has absolutely failed in protecting children and mothers - particularly those of color- in its adoption policies. This is a history that needs to be wider known and more understood as we navigate a post-Roe world, particularly where two of the justices cited adoption as a reason for why abortion is 'not necessary.'

Wellington does an amazing job at being truthful without ignoring the complexities of our society. So much room for thought, particularly since so many of us were raised to believe in adoption as a selfless act used to create a family.

I would highly recommend the audio. The narrator is very clear, and will keep you engaged.

Thank you to Tantor Audio and NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review!

My mother was adopted and after reading a comment somewhere about how I was the first biological relative my mother had ever met I started to learn more about adoption. When I was 18 I gave birth to my first child and was approached and harrassed time and time again about placing her for adoption and the anxiety and trauma is still with me 21 years later. How do you navigate parenting when the only help anyone offers you is to take your baby away?
I am stubborn though, so I did keep her and we had a great time.
This is a wonderful addiction to the other books that really examine adoption and this country's way of handling motherhood. I also liked the narration.