Please Stop Trying to Leave Me

Thank you NetGalley and Vintage Anchor Books for an advanced digital copy of Please Stop Trying to Leave Me.

Twenty-seven-year-old Norma suffered a nervous breakdown and is stuck in what she calls, “Oblivion.” Something she has experienced since she was a young girl. But Oblivion isn’t what brings Norma to a new therapist - She needs to write again, The Last Story to complete her manuscript. Should she listen to the supposed signs telling her to break up with her girlfriend? Will that help her finish her writing?

The line between fiction and reality becomes blurred, along with mental illness and state of mind while exploring the past. These pages bounce between Norma’s manuscript and therapy sessions, both of which are beautifully crafted. I love slow-burn, character-driven novels where you feel like you’re inside the mind of the narrator - And this reads like a lyrical stream of consciousness. Her unraveling became my unraveling, and I began to carry her trauma in my heart. The ending to this story is what truly got me.

I was thoroughly impressed with this debut novel as it encompassed a wide scope of topics and emotions. Family, love, relationships, mental health, trauma, societal issues and more that will take you on a rollercoaster ride of laughter, tears, and heartache. It was messy and realistic in a number of ways. You could tell that the author has a background in psychology AND is a very gifted writer.

Norma has experienced 'oblivion' since she was a little girl. A moment where every living being disappears, leaving her with a blank, bald planet floating in a lifeless outer space. Now an adult, Norma finds herself explaining oblivion to her therapist, and how it relates to the novel she's having trouble writing, signs from god in her Instagram advertisements, and most importantly--her girlfriend, and how as much as she loves her, the universe seems to want Norma to break up with her.

'Please Stop Trying to Leave Me' is a messy book, and I mean that in the most loving, genuine way possible. Alana Saab provides an unfiltered look into the mind of someone who is dealing with severe anxiety, depression, trauma, all while trying to stay afloat in an era where too much information is available at your fingertips. It's not pretty, and Norma's instinct to push her girlfriend away is painfully real. If you've ever dealt with mental illness before, either yourself or from someone you love, you will probably see yourself reflected in this novel--doubly so if you're a queer millennial.

Despite the serious subject matter, 'Please Stop Trying to Leave Me' is hilarious. Norma's constant observations of her therapist's shoes and asymmetrical pillow arrangements led to some genuine laugh out loud moments for me. Saab's humor helps to relieve some of the painful sadness of the book, but not enough that the moments lose their punch.

Overall, this book is an ugly, beautiful, and most importantly sympathetic look at mental health, and one that I'll definitely find myself revisiting in the future.