Jonathan, Billie, and their 15-year-old daughter, Olive, spent one of their last days together having a picnic lunch on the beach. A few days later, Billie decided to go backpacking alone along the Pacific Crest Trail in Desolation Wilderness. She never returned and her body was never found. Nearly a year later. she is officially classified as missing, presumed dead. A heavily attended memorial service was held for her and Jonathan’s moving tribute to Billie was so well-received that he has been asked to write a book about her.

For many years, Jonathan had his own company which was very profitable and kept him busy all the time. Many times, Billie begged him to quit and take life easy, but that doesn’t pay the bills. But after Billie went missing, he did quit and has tried to devote his time to writing the book. However, money is low and he is getting behind in Olive’s tuition payments. She attends school at Claremont Prep., a girl’s school. While it is a difficult thing to do, Jonathan needs to have the courts declare Billie dead so he can obtain a death certificate for life insurance purposes as such.

Olive is struggling at the loss of her mother and begins having visions where Billie talks to her telling her to come find her. While Jonathan feels she is just grasping at straws, Olive digs into it more piecing things together, convinced her mother is still alive.

Jonathan is so worried about Olive and begins to wonder if Olive is right. Could Billie still be alive? If so, where is she and why has she not tried to contact them? Thus begins his search into her past to try and learn more about her that might lead him to find some answers.

Billie is a complicated woman with an equally complicated past. As we learn more about her, the reader goes from being convinced that she must be dead to not being sure. You have to read all the way to the end to find out…is she or isn’t she?

I liked this book but the quest to find the answer to the question is a bit long. I think that the story could have been shortened somewhat, but then I also understand that if it had been shorter, readers may not have been kept as uncertain as they are until they reach the end of the book. Enjoy!

Copy provided by NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for allowing me to read this in advance of its publication.

I definitely recommend it -- characters jump off the page (my heart goes out to Olive...other characters had my heart and then lost it a bit along the way, but no spoilers, so that's all I'll say), and the story builds in the way of all good page-turners. Great book, quick read (because you can't put it down)!!

Watch Me Disappear by Janelle Brown is an absolutely riveting mystery. One mystery is where is Billie Flanagan, mother of Olive and wife of Jonathan. The other mystery is who is Billie Flanagan.

Watch Me Disappear starts nearly a year after Billie Flanagan disappeared while hiking solo in the Desolation Wilderness. The story is told in third person narrative. Olive’s perspective is told through her daily experiences and thoughts, while Jonathan’s thoughts are conveyed through the memoir he is trying to write about his life with Billie. It is not only an interesting story layout, but an interesting way to convey how Jonathan and Olive struggle with not just the disappearance of a loved one but of the mind-boggling revelations of Billie’s complex web of secrets from prior lives.

One of Billie’s past lives comes back to haunt her through the reconnection with a friend named Harmony. At first Harmony seems like a positive, good-hearted friend (think Suki from the Gilmore Girls television program), but as the story unfolds, Harmony’s actions and intentions become increasing questionable. Harmony quickly becomes a very untrustworthy, unlikable character.

Being a teenager is hard enough, but being a somewhat odd teen whose mother is presumed dead is even harder. As the one year anniversary of her mother’s disappearance approaches, Olive becomes convinced that her mother is not really dead, and that leads her to some heavy soul searching about how their relationship clearly lead to her mother leaving her. The emotional gauntlet that Olive must navigate is exhausting.

More exhausting is Jonathan’s path. He needs closure. He wants Olive’s belief that her mother is alive to be true, but if Olive is right, why did his wife leave him and their beloved daughter. Jonathan also questions his role in his wife’s disappearance—whether it is a decision to foolishly hike alone or a decision to disappear from their lives. It is unfathomable until he starts to dig deeper into Billie’s laptop and the dwindling family finances.

As Jonathan digs deeper, he finds that his wife didn’t fabricate her past as much as she bended the truth to make her look better. As people from her past are pulled into the story, Jonathan gets a better, fuller picture of who is wife really was. Through his search he along with the reader questions how much he truly knew about his wife—or anyone for that matter. He questions the foundation of his marriage.

Part mystery, part character study, Watch Me Disappear is a page-turner. Did Billie runway? If so, why? Does she want to be found as Olive believes? Did she disappear to push Jonathan and Olive out of their comfort zone in order to reinvent her family? Did she disappear to avoid dealing with the parts of her reality of which she was ashamed? Or did she simply fall to her death while hiking? Not only did the big reveal in the epilogue shock me, but the little revelations throughout the story about all the characters amazed me. Watch Me Disappear is a fantastic read about yearning, loss, and new beginnings.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Random House via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. For more reading recommendations, visit Book Junkie Reviews: https://abookjunkiereviews.wordpress.com.

A year ago, Billie Flanagan set out hiking on her own in a remote part of California. She never returned home. Her body hasn't been found. Her husband Jonathan and their teenage daughter, Olive, are struggling emotionally as well as financially. Jonathan has been trying to write a memoir of his life with Billie, while Olive is clinging to the hope that her mother is still alive, more so since she's been having "visions" of her. Being able to declare Billie legally dead would aid them financially through the life insurance payout. Nevertheless, partly in an attempt to re-establish a much-needed bond with his daughter, and partly to satisfy his own needs, Jonathan starts looking closer at what exactly they know about Billie and their life prior to her disappearance. Who really was Billie Flanagan?
This was one of my vacation reads, and I very nearly gave up after the first couple of chapters because it didn't grab me at first and the writing style took some getting used to (present tense and third person), but I'm so glad I continued. Another couple of chapters and I was hooked. This is a bit of a cross-genre book. There's mystery. There's family drama. There's a young adult vibe with Olive's coming-of-age story as she has to find herself amidst the tragedy of her mother's disappearance. Above all, this was a fantastic character study with the three main individuals drawn solidly, and I found the characters believable although not all necessarily likeable. We largely learn about Billie through other people. The pace is steady, and there were some good twists and turns. I completely and utterly loved the ending. This was my first time reading a Janelle Brown book, and based on this, I'd be happy to read more.

Billie Flanagan was a beautiful woman, a free- spirit, charismatic with a picture perfect life. She had a brilliant beautiful daughter Olive and Jonathan, a husband who loved her! Now it has been a year since Billie went on a solo hike in the Desolation Wilderness and vanished from the trail. After weeks of searching the only things found are one of her hiking boots and a smashed cell phone. No body! And with no body, no closure, no burial, a husband and father desolate now turned to drink; and her determined that her mother is alive and sending her messages from the unknown to come and find her.

Olive’s dreams / hallucinations or whatever they are have convinced her that her mom is alive and she must try to interpret the messages she receives as clues to help her on her search for her mother. Except some of the clues lead to secrets that Billie had kept - shaking the very foundation of the pedestal which Olive and Billie’s husband had kept Billie on!

*** I have to say that this was a very interesting premise on a disappearance plot. Naturally you have lots of red herrings that pop up all over the place but with Billie though one never gets to actually meet her as the story starts with her disappearance and small background glimpses of a person who appeared to have it all! Billie did inspire loyalty though with the friends she did have. Though I question the relationship of friend with regard to Billie whose so called friends kept a few facts from Jonathan that might have helped him determine the person Billie was.

The suspense was palpable and kept the action going. Whether you warmed up to Jonathan or not, who partially neglected his daughter as he drowned his grief with work and drink one can empathize with him - to a certain extent. However, Olive was another matter. As a young teenager Olive needed her mom so much that the visions she was having (believe or not) were traumatic and to not be believed was even worse. What was real, what was not. What did the visions mean and where did they lead. Had Olive followed them correctly and what would she find behind the door of the beach cottage all the clues lead her to?

Bottom line: You will just have to read this very good thriller to find out!

Marilyn Rondeau

As the blurb indicates, Billie has been missing for a year. Her husband Jonathon and teenage daughter Olive are struggling to cope with her absence.

Jonathan, feeling guilty for spending more time at work than with his family before her disappearance has quit his job hoping to write a memoir of his life with his effervescent wife. His book is not progressing as fast as he would like. He’s drinking too much and the private school his daughter attends would like to receive payment for her schooling.

Olive is consumed with the loss of her mom and begins having visions of her mother at odd moments of the day, like waking dreams where her mom gives her cryptic sage advice. She becomes convinced that her mother is alive out there somewhere and is sending her psychic messages so they can be reunited. She even convinces her dad that they should start searching for Billie. Maybe she fell and has amnesia, maybe she’s been kidnapped, maybe she’s still alive.

The plot outline drew me in, the long drawn out resolution to this plot let me down. A lot of my lack of enthusiasm comes from the behaviour of all the characters in the story. Billie, painted initially as a saint, quickly loses her lustre as a trusted and loving wife and mother as lies and misinformation are uncovered. Jonathan’s behaviour is erratic. His drinking problem clouds his judgement and places Olive at risk. A whole year goes by and only now does he think to question some of Billie’s closest friends?

The scenes involving Olive were a maddening look at the questionable judgement of a teenage girl. Yes, she has dogged determination to find her mom alive. Yes, she’s struggling in school. (view spoiler) Her issues and emotional responses gave the book a YA feel, one I was not expecting when I read the blurb. I struggled to finish the book thanks to what felt like an endless rehash of the few solid bits of evidence and the nagging suspicion that I didn’t like Billie or Jonathon enough to care if she was dead or alive.

ARC received from publisher via NetGalley for review.

Thanks so much for the opportunity but unfortunately this wasn't the right book for me. I ended up not finishing and stopping around 25 percent. It was slower than I expected, I thought it would be more thrilling.

In a nutshell, a mother goes off hiking alone one weekend and doesn't return. After an exhaustive search, one year later, her teenaged daughter and husband are about to have her declared legally dead when the daughter begins to have strong doubts about her death. Eventually both father and daughter decide to learn more about the missing mother/wife and in so doing realize they didn't know her very well. Life isn't always what it seems. This book should have grabbed me immediately for a whole host of reasons: Berkeley location, characters, topic, or even family secrets appeal to me. For some reason it just didn't hold my attention and I'm not completely sure why it wasn't gripping enough. There was a flatness to it that I initially thought was based on the family members' grief but it didn't seem to change over the course of the story. The ending was explained so well that there was nothing to chew over in my mind. It was all just done. I've nothing left to reflect upon. So I feel as though I've been denied something which is an odd feeling. I received my copy from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Many thanks to NetGalley, Janelle Brown & Random House/Spiegel & Grau for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review.

Watch Me Disappear by Janelle Brown is a good look at family relationships and the undercurrents always present whether we wish to recognize them or not.

It has been a year since Billie, wife of Jonathan and mother of Olive, disappeared while hiking by herself. A year during which Jonathan and Olive have struggled hard to accept her absence and move forward with some semblance of a life. Jonathan can now file to have Billie legally declared dead, and while hesitant to give up hope, he desperately needs the insurance money to pay the bills. Daughter Olive begins having hallucinations about her mother. Disturbing to both her and her dad, they make Olive more certain that her mother is not dead, and that they only have to find her.

In trying to discover if Billie disappeared willingly (she's been known to do so in the past), or if something happened to her while on her hike, Jonathan turns up many, MANY things he never knew about his wife. Things that make him doubt whether he ever really knew her at all, and whether their whole relationship was built on lies.

This isn't a fast-paced book, but rather an unpeeling of layers as we discover more about each of the characters. Makes the reader question how well we really know those closest to us, and if we know them or just see them as we want them to be. Watch Me Disappear is an interesting read.

Both GoodReads and Netgalley have this book listed under mystery and thriller. Which is why I chose to read it.

And the premise is kind of amazing. A wife and mother goes missing. A husband and daughter are grief stricken and desperate for answers. The daughter starts having supernatural-y visions of her mother.

Why aren't you looking for me?

Y'all.

I can't think of a single person I would recommend this book to. It's not a real mystery/thriller. It's not. This is a story about grief. Do you ever really know someone? The person who should be the closest to you is often times hiding secrets so big they can't be seen until you dig and dig and dig and get hurt in the process.

Which is also a fantastic premise! I love stuff like this!

But I didn't get this book for that. I got this because I wanted a mystery.

I'm so frustrated. This is two books smushed into one, and the mystery portion gets squashed into holes where it's not supposed to be. It's not until literally the last two chapters we get ANY kind of twisty mystery/thriller action, and by this point, it's like meh.

I don't hate this book. But I didn't request this book. What's on the tin doesn't match, and I find that more frustrating than anything else. Labeled appropriately, I'm sure this is going to appeal to...someone.

Middle aged woman disappears. "she dead, or is she trying to return to her "hippie life"?

This book begins with Jonathan coming to grips with his wife being presumed dead for the last year, and Olive have images of her mother being alive. Billie Flanagan left for a hike on the Pacific North Trail and never returned. Jonathan and Olive are left with scant clues and almost no hope left of her being alive.

When Jonathan quits his job and agrees to write a memoir about Billie, he doesn't realize he is opening up a can of worms. Things he thought he knew about Billie turned out to be false and he is quickly disheartened to learn about all of her lies and omissions. Jonathan is also being pursued by Billie's best friend, Harmony. Harmony is holding a lot of secrets of her own and claims to not want to cause Jonathan any pain by bringing up the truth of Billie's past.

Olive clings to the hope of her mother being alive to the point of almost making herself sick. She badgers a psychic, enlists her best friend, Natalie's, help and skips class at the drop of a hat. She was immature and reckless at points. Her visions of her mother are her only link and she is unwilling to believe anything negative about her mother.

Billie was so self-involved and self-centered it was a wonder Olive and Jonathan put up with her for as many years as they did. She wanted to be on the edge of hip, a cutting edge mother and a warrior of causes. She wanted Olive to adore her to no end and thought she was immune from the usual mother/daughter relationships she saw around her. Life didn't work out the way Billie envisioned and so the book explores what transpired up to and on the day of Billie's last morning in the house. Billie was hard for me to like in this book and there is no sugarcoating that.

All of the characters in this book lived in their own worlds and it was kind of disheartening at points. They all wanted what they wanted and couldn't see past that. Billie didn't like not being the center of their universe, Jonathan finally understood his wife did not deserve to be placed on a pedestal and Olive was a teenager trying to find herself. They were all coming at life from different perspectives and it got messy at points. Jonathan was a workaholic who gave it all up to spend time with Olive. Olive wanted her mother back and didn't care what it took to make it happen. She fought Jonathan repeatedly when he needed to legally have Billie declared dead. Olive was hurting but acted like a toddler at points. She should not have been allowed to wander at will and needed someone to guide her. Jonathan was so used to being in Billie's shadow that he failed to understand that he and Olive needed to find their way forward together.

The book did do a good job of showing all of the characters POV's. It told a compelling story. Jonathan was able to forgive far more than I expected a journalist to have been able to. Olive seemed to be trying to get on the right path and finding her way. Considering all of the twists and turns, the book did wrap up all of the loose ends a bit too neatly for me.

Watch Me Disappear by Janelle Brown is a mystery with an edge. Billie Flanagan has is gone. She went for a hike up into the mountains and never returned. Only some odd pieces she had with her were found. Her daughter Olive and husband Jonathan are desolate. She was larger than life, beautiful, spontaneous and full of life.

A year after she went missing, Jonathan and Olive are picking up the pieces, but suddenly the pieces do not add up. There seems to be some cracks in the facts that Billie shared and when poked the cracks widened. Suddenly, it seems that Billie was not who they thought she was and they start to question everything.

The book despite the fact it was not a traditional thriller was thrilling. I felt that every chapter, every page held some clue that would make everything make sense. Each new fact or tidbit added to the morass of Billie Flanagan. Watch Me Disappear by Janelle Brown was a great read.

I saw that the reviews were pretty divided on this one but I was cautiously optimistic. Unfortunately, I fall in the "give this one a pass" camp. This book wasn't "bad" but it wasn't edgy and surprising enough to garner any any gasps from me.

When I initially read the synopsis of Watch Me Disappear, it really grabbed my attention and I knew it would be an excellent beach read. As I began the first few chapters, I felt like I was missing something, or maybe the plot was just a little too slow. I kept reading, hoping it would pick up.

After getting about halfway into the novel, I realized the pace wasn't going to pick up, but I still really needed to know what happened to Billie. So, I just kept reading and trudging through. The writing was eloquent and flowed together nicely, but I didn't get hooked on the characters like I wanted to. I felt like there was constantly a piece missing and I was on the outside of the story.

All in all, it was an interesting story, but when it ended I wasn't really sure what to take away from the story. It held my attention, but just barely. I enjoyed the novel but I don't think I will be recommending it to others. Thank you to NetGalley and Random House for the sending the eGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Jonathan Flanagan has lost the love of his life and is now floundering in his attempt to navigate a new path for both him and his 16 year old daughter, Olive. Having embarked on a solo backpacking trip in the Desolation Wilderness, Jonathan’s wife, Sybilla, is presumed dead after having disappeared without a word. Trying to move forward, Jonathan quits the job that previously consumed his time and begins writing his and “Billie’s tragic love story. But writing their story becomes complicated when new revelations come to light, just as Olive starts having hallucinations that have her convinced her mom is still alive.

Right from the get go, it’s clear that Billie was a free spirit that managed to escape a harsh and oppressive religious upbringing. Upon meeting Billie, It was insta-love for Jonathan, who was immediately drawn to the vivacious woman and to her unique zest for life. He became addicted to her brand of crazy and then later idealized the woman with whom he shared his life. But unbeknownst to him, Billie had skeletons buried in her past—skeletons that are unearthed when Jonathan goes digging into the final days of Billie’s life. Complicating matters even further, is the burgeoning relationship between Jonathan and Billie’s closest friend, Harmony--a woman who, I began to suspect, had an agenda of her own.

Overall, I found “Watch Me Disappear” to be a unique and interesting read. At times, however, the story veered off into a direction that seemed totally out of place and even a bit contrived, particularly where Olive is concerned. But Jonathan is a relatable character I could totally connect with—both as a parent and as a spouse. His conflicting emotions towards his deceased wife is understandable, and I felt heartsick for the man whose world shattered even further upon learning the truth about the woman he once adored. As for Billie, she always seemed a bit self-centered for my tastes, especially when it came to her relationship with Olive. Her knack for revealing only partial truths, made me dislike her even more. The more I learned about Billie, the more I grew to dislike this woman and her selfish, narcissistic behavior. Truly, I felt bad for the grieving people that Billie left behind; for the family that loved her unconditionally and were left to piece together the shattered pieces of their hearts in the wake of her untimely death.

Despite my mixed emotions, “Watch Me Disappear” is not without its merits. The epilogue, in particular, is essential in filling in the missing gaps still left dangling at this story’s end. Written in Billie’s point-of-view, the reader is finally clued into the mystery surrounding her final days. And getting inside Billie’s head—getting that extra bit of insight—gave me all the answers to all the questions I still had swimming around inside my head. So, while “Watch Me Disappear” might not be perfect in its execution, it’s still a book worthy of giving a try.

Thank you netgalley.com and librarything.com for sending me an advanced copy of Watch Me Disappear by Janelle Brown.

Watch Me Disappear is simply a great story. The novel centers around the mysterious disappearance of Billie Flanagan and how it affects those that love her. Billie is a wife to Jonathan. She is a mother to Olive, and she is a friend to Harmony. But, Billie is much more complicated than she first appears. She has secrets that are starting to unravel and now even her disappearance is in question. How did this athletic, competitive, nature-loving woman vanish from a wilderness trail on a solo hike? Is there something more sinister going on or was there an accident and the body has not been found yet? As Billie's family searches for the truth, their discoveries make them reevaluate all that is precious to them.

I liked the slow revelations and unwinding of the mystery. My attention was held throughout. The interactions of the characters felt real. The novel, however, was a little too long and there was one storyline concerning Olive that I felt was unnecessary.

It is definitely worth the read and I look forward to reading more by this author.

This book's pace just moved so slowly! It was really difficult to get into it and really to care about what actually happened with the "disappearance".

A worthy addition to the missing woman genre, this novel is more an analysis of a marriage than anything else. Do we ever really know our spouse? Is it possible to become a wife and mother and stay true to ourselves? Well written, nicely paced, with plenty of twists and turns.

Synopsis:
Billie Flanagan has been missing for one year. All that was found by investigators were her broken telephone and one hiking boot in the wilderness. It is one year later and her husband, Jonathan, and her daughter, Olive, are attempting to move forward with their lives. Where is Billie? Is she dead or alive? Did she disappear on purpose or did something nefarious happen? You will have to read to find out!

My review:
I have been on a suspense/mystery/thriller kick lately, so this novel called out to me. It was an interesting concept - what goes through people's minds when someone is missing, presumed dead? How do loved ones cope and deal with the lack of closed doors? Overall, I liked this book. It was well-written - I found myself looking up words and highlighting multiple phrases because they just sounded SO GOOD! For me, the writing made this book worth it. This book has you guessing who did it until the Epilogue. This was my first read of Janelle Brown's and you can bet I will be checking out her other work.