I really thought that I would love this book, but when it came down to it, I got probably about 30% of the way through and had no real motivation to finish it off.

It's not really a book for me. It just wasn't what I expected.

I received a copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.


I'm going to keep this short and sweet, because it's been almost a month since I finished reading this, and still I genuinely don't know what to say about it.

Seriously... What Am I Doing Here? is a travel memoir in diary-form that brings us along on the most random of all the random trips - from bike rides to healing retreats to climbing mountains, we're along the ride and gain insight into the thoughts the author has during these experiences. Written with honesty, humour and insight, I found that what it did to me most of all was prove that there are still good people in this world.

Hilarious, thoughtful, living travel as a curious experience for a non-professional traveler, this wandering memoir is smart and provocative. The time on the road is used to reflect, meditate and sometimes to heal. A reminder that there are people around, most of them, for whom travel is seldom a weekly, or even daily concern. It might happen by accident, but maybe because it is not a common occurrence is meticulously observed. A nice and thoughtful read, especially for the non-travel weekends.

When I read the blurb and some details about the author, I knew I had to try this story. I mean, I'll pretty much read any story that involves my home turf (aka, a Jew from New Jersey), and I was super excited to see where Ken Schneck would take me.

Ken Schneck is naturally funny and engaging, and you'll automatically want to be friends with him (especially if you like Jews from New Jersey!). I liked reading about him and his adventures because he went to some seriously interesting places. I was really curious about how he would fare in Uganda, on an AIDS bike ride, and on an intense camping/hiking trip, especially since Ken is funny, impulsive, and chronically underprepared.

If you want to read about a likable guy doing adventure-types of actives, then this book is for you. However, I couldn't help but feel like some greater point was missed. There were some mini-breakthroughs mentioned, but I was expecting some more personal growth, not just a travel diary. I had trouble connecting the stories to one another and I didn't get a sense of cohesiveness.

What I liked most about the story was when Ken was being honest and funny and didn't seem like he was writing for an audience. There were moments of greatness, but I think I was expecting more from this collection of diary-type stories.

*Copy provided in exchange for an honest review*

2.5 stars, rounded down to 2 due its failure to match the description. This is a hard book to review because it started strong, but then did not end up where it could have. Seriously...What Am I Doing Here? is a travel memoir which chronicles several trips within the United States and throughout the world. The description remarks, "set out into the world with a gay Jew determined to answer that universal question of 'Seriously…What Am I Doing Here?'," but it is not really a story of a determined man in search of an answer to said question. Instead, it is the day by day account of said man while on several trips over several years and his thoughts along the way, which quite often do not touch on the title's question.

Part of the difficulty with the book answering said question is the selectivity of which trips he shares over the his chosen time period. The memoir starts nearly immediately after one trip, which was a bike ride for AIDS, and includes little beyond references to it. It's not clear why that trip did not merit being part of the travel memoir as another AIDS bike ride did make it into the book, though this exclusion was not nearly as confusing as why his trip to China, which occurred in the middle of the book, was not included. Failing to include these travel stories, but mention them, in a travel memoir which chronicles several trips is not only confusing, but impacted the flow of the book as it left the reader wondering, why did these not get included? While frustrating, this did not impact the star rating.

The logical first guess would be that the first AIDS bike ride and the China trip did not fit into this travel memoir theme of, what am I doing here? Since I know nothing of those trips, I can only speculate, but suffice it to say that this theme was not a strong connection between these other travel stories, so it does not seem like a likely reason why those two stories were excluded. This lack of addressing the title's question, unfortunately, did hurt the star rating. The book set-up this idea that there would be a theme where Ken Schnek learns more about what he is doing here on Earth and his connection to other people. In his first travel story, that is exactly what happened and it was an effective story. While in Uganda the first time, Schneck questions his privilege, the role American charities play in Africa, how white Americans should act while touring Africa, the best way to effect change, and his role in it all. It is a very well-done story that not only highlights what it is like to be a gay white American man in Uganda while that country's Kill the Gays bill is being actively discussed, but also highlights his concerns about being a tourist in Uganda on a not-for-profit trip to a school. If the book were only this travel story, it would be a book I would recommend.

However, there are more travel stories, all of which happen after major life events, only described in passing, and this holding back only makes it harder to understand why these additional travel stories are being shared and what, if any, connection they have with the title. Instead of addressing the title's question, many of these stories highlight who Schneck is as a person. For example, his AIDS bike trip highlights how once he commits to doing something, he does not back out, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that he probably should. While, this could be an interesting theme for a book, it was not the theme that the book set out to center itself around, so the other travel stories, and their ability to highlight who Schneck is as a person, seem out of place and unnecessary. His second trip to Uganda is even more out of place than the others as his reasons to return have almost nothing to do with the theme of the book, but instead are based in his own personality quirk of wanting to learn more about his travel companion's motives.

While I learned quite a bit about who Schneck is as a person, I'm not sure why I did. What do I gain by learning that Schneck can be passive aggressive or that he will travel halfway around the world to determine whether someone is a good enough do-gooder? I'm not sure and the book did not tell me. While the additional travel stories not being effectively connected to the theme the book laid out cost the book a full star, what cost it the half star was the final journal entry. The final journal entry was written 100 days later, presumably giving him time to process (though in contrast to all the other entries which he claims where written on the day they say they were written), but does not answer the underlying question he set out to answer on that particular trip, let alone his underlying theme. Essentially, the final journal entry sidesteps the issue all together and instead is like, who knows? Well, presumably you do since you wrote a book asking that question as the central theme. It was a disappointing end.

This book had much potential, but it feels like the first trip journal was so successful that someone suggested adding more trip stories would be just as successful, so then Schneck tried to write a book about multiple trips, instead of just filling out the pages with things that came before and after the initial trip and going more in-depth on the trip. If the book did that, it likely would have been a very good travel journal where everyone, reader and author, would have taken something of value away from the experience. Instead, much of the book feels forced and it unfortunately left me not recommending this book to anyone, except those who particularly enjoy travel memoirs or different perspectives.

I feel like I'm reading his journal or having an intimate conversation with him (but I can't ask questions). And I guess he essentially states at the beginning that this is exactly what this book is. He is funny. My kind of funny with dry humor and seeing the crazy in everyday things and even himself. I loved him. Almost from the first few pages I knew he was for me because I could be him. I'm the same way... stumbling and bumbling into things larger than myself, following through then saying "I can't believe I did that". He goes in depth, probably too in depth for some people, but I liked it. He seemed to have a purpose for every delving he goes into. I'm jealous of what he's done, I've jotted some things down onto my "someday" list based on this book. I enjoyed this book a lot.

I'm not sure what it was that I expected this book to be but I did actually end up genuinely enjoying it. I've not read a lot of travel/bio books so this was a little bit of a step outside of my comfort zone, something that is amusing to me because this is what the book was precisely about.

The adventures of Ken are at times amusing, distressing and heartbreaking, but they all have a note of honesty to them that I really do appreciate. There are some people, who when writing about themselves would try to sugar coat it, or change the narrative to make themselves seem like more, to make themselves seem like flawless individuals. Ken Schneck does not do that and it's something I love about this book. He is critical of others, and sometimes it is VERY deserving (looking at you No Trail Name Lady) and sometimes it isn't so much. But the person he is most critical of at times is himself, as we all are.

This overall was an interesting, very human journey about how much we can grow and develop, in the most extraordinary and even ordinary of circumstances. I found this to be inspiring.

A travelogue from a snarky, anxiety-ridden man that explores healing, identity, and the hardships of coming to terms with who you are.

The one warning that I feel is necessary is that the discussion on the Ugandan anti-gay legislation, that seems to be coming in the first part of the book, doesn't really happen. It's touched upon, but mostly passed over as this book is not about representation and politics. This was not a problem for me, but if you are hoping for some sprawling essays on the state of LGBTQ life - look somewhere else.
This is an introspective look at one person's anxieties, self-image issues, and ambitions to do more and an honest exploration of his faults and achievements. With a metric ton of sarcasm, witticisms, and emotional moments.

Schneck starts off with some cracks in him as he travels to Uganda to engage in some volunteer work with the local school. He then fractures completely somewhere between that and the bike marathon, losing nearly everything he has and being faced with problems that could crush anybody. And yet he perseveres, stumbling into more and more unlikely and fascinating scenarios, always finding a life lesson or a joke to mine in each occurence.
Ken's stubborn desire to become better, to understand himself, and to patch his life up is contagious and with each fist-pumping triumph you, as a reader, inch ever closer to understanding both him and yourself. It's not an easy road and the book never devolves into a gauntlet of unbearable obstacles as Ken's hopeful nature falters but still shines through in the very cracks that unmade him. But it's not some self-help spiritual healing "I love myself" festival either, as Schneck frankly offers up that some of the problems in his life are his fault.

One of the pitfalls of such books that I was afraid of seeing here is the privileged point of view, where the writer bemoans the horrific issues that they face while living in their huge house with a cushy job, like "my kids weren't perfect!" or "I felt unfulfilled!". Those are important problems, but they are not very relatable in general, unlike Ken's battle with anxiety, a broken heart, and self-doubt. These are things that almost everyone faces and though it seems like Ken is looking at them from a rather comfortable place in life, that changes quickly as he loses and gives up many things and you really get the sense that his life is in turmoil and he is genuinely grappling with significant problems and not some petty grievances.

Ken's writing is fun and crisp, as he always injects just the right amount of honesty into his sarcastic ramblings. Not a single moment feels dull as the scenery changes and Schneck changes with it. From Uganda to the Midwest to the Colorado mountains, every step of his journey is engaging, every connection he makes is earned, and every single problem he has - relatable.

I would heartily recommend anyone to read this, but especially those who also suffer from anxiety and need a pick-me-up and a gentle, fun read to remind them that healing is possible in any situation, even with the help of strangers. Schneck changed his life, so let him try to change yours, it might just work!

Such a fantastic book! Well written. It is equal parts funny and touching. I felt as if I were with Ken, along for his adventures. A must read!

DNF. Sorry, I usually love travelogues, and I was a excited to read about queer Jewish adventurer, but this wasn't for me.