I really enjoyed this author's first book, so I was very disappointed when I read this one.

The writing is so stiff and there is a coldness to the entire story that did not manage to keep my interest. After about page 150, I was really hoping the end of this story would happen fast.

For sixteen years, Corey and Kyra have been friends. Together they roamed the forests of Lost Creek, Alaska, went to school together and spent their free time together. Then, six months ago, Corey moved away with her mother and younger brother and left Kyra alone. Alone in a town who hated the girl because she was different. Her maniac-depressive behaviour irritated the 250 inhabitants of the small city; she was at best invisible, at worst an outsider. Two days before Corey is due to visit, Kyra is found dead. Beneath the ice of a lake in mid-winter. For Corey this is not only a shock, but unbelievable. Kyra cannot be dead and she would never have killed herself so shortly before her arrival. Her suspicion grows the closer she comes to her former hometown and finally there, she is not greeted with unanimous joy.

Marieke Nijkamp’s novel is set against the Alaskan winter which perfectly reflects the mood of the novel. The atmosphere is gloomy and often spooky throughout the story and at times it actually gave me the creeps. It is a wonderful merge of a young adult novel and a thriller.

Yet, first of all, it is a novel about friendship. Corey remembers her time with Kyra, the good ones and the bad ones and she is ruminating about the question if she has left her friend, left her alone with the ill-natured people of Lost Creek who resented her with her escapades. Could she have prevented a possible suicide or even murder of her friend? A tough question for a sixteen-year-old girl alone and face to face with a whole hostile town.

On the other hand, it is a novel about life in a reclusive community who considers people who moved away outsiders after only a short time and who are hard to anybody who does not fit in their world-view. Where people do not talk much to somebody who does not belong to the inner circle. And a community who lives to its own laws and values. After only a couple of months, Corey does not understand them anymore, does not recognise the people she once loved anymore.

Looming above all this is the question what happened to Kyra. Did she really change after Corey left? Did the people actually change in the last couple of weeks? Or is this just the story Corey is told to hide the truth.

The author has a great talent in making you feel with the protagonist, I experienced this when I read her novel “This is where it ends” about a school shooting, too. “Before I let go” is a quick read that I enjoyed a lot.

Honestly, I just didn't really like this book. I was intrigued by the premise, and I kept waiting for something to happen, but nothing ever really did. It was quite repetitive and I didn't feel like it was enough. Of anything.

This is a "did not finish" for me! After 100 pages it was just so incredibly mediocre and uninteresting I decided to drop it. Perhaps read by a teenager it might have more appeal? Since I DNF this book I will not rate it or post a review on any public media since I don't think that's fair to the author, it may have a great ending that I just couldn't get to.
Thanks for the opportunity!

Before I Let Go was an emotional story. It deals with grief. With loneliness. With mental illness. It also shares hope, dreams, loyalty and friendship. The writing was haunting, and the main characters made me feel her anguish.

Unfortunately, Before I Let Go wasn't for me. It was incredibly repetitive and, frankly, a bit boring. I wanted to mark this one DNF, but I kept reading in hopes of something happening that would make the book worth reading.

Skip this one, in my opinion.

* This book was received from Sourcebooks Fire via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. *

Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp is the story of best friends Kyra and Corey. One girl is dead and one is trying to figure out why. It's a magical story about love, loss, hope and secrets but the story just happened to fall flat for me.

Corey arrives back home to Lost, Alaska in the wake of her best friends death. Her best friend being Kyra, the Bi-polar town outcast that everyone tries to have sent away. Lost is a town that doesn't like change or anything unpredictable and those are the two things Kyra brings to their doorsteps. Kyra killed herself because of her Bi-polar, or so it seems, and Corey sets out to figure out the truth. The entire town is hiding something, including Kyra's parents. They tell Corey that while she was gone, they came to love an appreciate Kyra, but at what expense? They tell Corey she is now an outsider and they don't want her there anymore. But she can't leave without the truth and the town won't let her leave WITH the truth.

This book had such an interesting plot and it was sad and made me angry but aside from those few things, it really did nothing for me. It hurt my heart so very much to give this book the low rating that I gave it. I ADORED the authors first book and it will forever be in my collection but Before I Let Go, sadly will not.

There were also some good points to the story. Otherwise why would I have given it the rating I did? The friendship between Kyra and Corey was beautiful yet fragile. Then you have the mystery behind Kyras death and Corey's unwillingness to accept anything at face value. I also truly loved the descriptions of Kyra's art(despite how she felt about it) and her love of stories. I feel like a character is more realistic when they have an obsession or passion. The book was also set in Alaska. That is pretty rare and I loved that. Trust me, there were a bunch of positive parts to the story, it just didn't live up to my expectations and felt a little boring to me.

In the end, I will still recommend this book to people. I would probably say read Before I Let Go first if you haven't read her previous book that way you might spare yourself and disappointment. Also, the ending was pretty anticlimactic. It just... ended.

Overall, I gave the book 3/5 stars.

The unique setting and cryptic letters scattered throughout the story were intriguing, but the writing itself seemed choppy and disjointed. Corey and Kyra's characters just never developed enough to fully grab my attention or commitment as a reader. I don't see most teens making it through this text.

Like many interested in this books, I've been wanting to read this because of This Is Where It Ends. But I have come across something quite different.

Corey hears of her best friend's death with surprise. Kyra, who has suffered for a long time for being bipolar, had promised she'd wait until Corey could visit her. Just a few days until then, she wouldn't have broken it after enduring the secluded Alaskan town of Lost Creek by herself for over half a year. Back in her hometown, Corey learns Lost doesn't treat outsiders well, for she is now an outsider herself.

I had to think longer than usual before deciding how to rate this book. I ended it doubtful even whether I liked what I read. That's why Id say it's a 2.5 rounded up. It's not a simple read. It floats from genre from genre as Corey investigates more about Kyra's passing, but it takes too long to define what it is. I know many books that succeeded in this lack of definition but Before I Let Go was a disappointment.

You will feel a little creeped out because the setting is "claustrophobic", as Corey herself calls. You will feel intrigued, because there are too many things that don't fit the official story surrounding Kyra's last months alive. You will feel frustrated, because Corey can only look back, which won't change that Kyra is gone. You will feel many things, and that will make you keep going. That's what made me. It was a book that made me believe things would get somewhere that would make it brilliant.

Unfortunately, it builds too much tension for a development that I'd call absurd. Many times I would question everything about it so absurd it was getting. But that's what the story is, it's absurd. And again, unfortunately, they don't recognize it. I actually like those stories that are simply so unbelievable anything can happen. Before I Let Go still takes itself seriously, making the climax too lukewarm. I guess Nijkamp has this flaw when developing her plot, because I also thought This Is Where It Ends turned a bit too lukewarm for the plot it had, only the characters there and whole setting saved it for me. Before I Let Go can't count much on either.

But what bothered me the most was Kyra's bipolarity. The way she developed this part made me too uncomfortable. I can't spoil things for you going into details but I don't approve her approach and would rather if she had taken time to differentiate things better.

What I did like here:

Nijkamp brings again diverse characters to the main roles.

I've never been to Alaska to know how accurate, but her description made me feel there.

While I didn't like how she developed Kyra being bipolar, but I thought it was fitting how she described her isolation from the community and Corey's feeling toward the issue.

The setting is dark, the development was messy and a little dramatic but the book can be read in a day thanks to Nijkamp's style. If you're still in doubt, you can try it without wasting too much time.

Nijikamp proved she can vary her plots a lot, this has very little in common with This Is Where It Ends. It's not every author of contemporary YA who goes that extra mile.

The cover is spectacularly beautiful.

This book reminded me of The Accident Season by Moïra Fowley-Doyle, which I enjoyed more because of a better use of the absurd. Still, I'd say it's the best reference to anyone wondering whether to read Before I Let Go. I still plan to follow Nijkamp and look forward to her next novel.

Having read a book by author Marieke Nijkamp before I knew I had to check out her new novel Before I Let Go. A completely different vibe, but a mystery which is right up my alley.

One thing I will give Nijkamp is that these two novels I have read of hers both touched on hard hitting topics that are typically taboo. The first was school shootings and Before I Let Go touched on mental health. I love reading stories that go above the norm and have you finding yourself in territories undiscovered. I know some about mental health and the struggles that people go through, but reading different takes on it always gives me more insight. Before I Let Go follows Corey as she returns home to her tiny home town of Lost, Alaska to visit her best friend Kyra. Only Kyra died two days before Corey's arrival in an apparent suicide. Corey is sad and expects to be welcomed with open arms by the residence that all know each other so well, but it turns out she is unwelcome. Now labeled an outside the story follows Corey as she tries to piece together what happen to her best friend to lead her to suicide and why the town is acting so strange.

From the first step on Lost soil I was intrigued. Corey was met with so much animosity even before she questioned what was happening that you knew there was something sinister lying beneath the surface. Corey's character was strong and brave, especially for a teenage girl. I would not have been able to handle the situation quite like her. Normally I am not a fan of flashbacks, but this story would not have made much sense without. Between occasional chapters we got a glimpse of Kyra and Corey in the two years or so leading up to the current timeline. These flashbacks gave us a glimpse as to what could have led Kyra to suicide or why the town was acting so strange.

I mentioned how Nijkamp talked about mental illness. Kyra suffered from bipolar disorder and some other mental health conditions that stem from that, such as a deep depression. The flashbacks gave witness to how those highs and lows affected those around her and why some people just could not understand her personality, making her almost a pariah in the community. As the story continued we found out more about how those who did not understand Kyra's mental illness misconstrued things and forced her into ideas and actions they felt were making her happy. All of these things are topics that most don't talk about, let along write books about, but Nijkamp never backs away from them.

I loved Nijkamp's view of mental illness and the twisted story that weaved itself around Kyra and Corey. I never knew who to trust at each turn and found myself actually gasping at times and having to take just one more minute to find out what happen next. Needless to say I finished this book in two days. A real page turner. It even had a cult like vibe to it at times with the townsfolk, which is not typically the type of story I would enjoy, but somehow all these aspects fit together to make a truly interesting, deep, spine tingling mystery. While it may be labeled YA Fiction, I feel Before I Let Go is a good novel for anyone who likes mysteries and wants to be surprised at the end. Definitely pick up a copy.

When Corey moved away from her home town of snow covered Lost Creek, Alaska she promised her best friend, Kyra, that she would always stay in touch and always be there for her. As with most teens though Corey’s new life and new friends she made after her move kept her busy so she wasn’t the best with keeping in touch with Kyra. Corey did have plans for returning to Lost Creek very soon though and finally seeing Kyra again.

Unfortunately Corey receives a phone call that Kyra has passed away, she was found under the ice in the lake that should have been frozen solid this time of year. Some think that Kyra purposely went looking for a weak spot in the ice and a way to end her own life after battling mental illness for years. Corey knows she needs to return to Lost Creek and get some answers on just what happened to her best friend.

Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp is a young adult mystery read. After finishing this book I’m beginning to think that perhaps Marieke Nijkamp is just not an author for me. Last year I read This Is Where It Ends and while the idea behind the story was one that I was really taken in with the execution of the book left a lot to be desired for me and unfortunately now I can say the same with Before I Let Go.

I think really my biggest issue with this book came with the character development which was pretty non-existent. Corey is really the only character that felt developed and I find myself hard pressed to say even that as all that is repeated is she and Kyra had been close so now instead of owning up to her own mistakes she is determined to find who is at fault for Kyra’s death which should be touching and emotional but instead I just disliked Corey and found myself not caring if other’s were at fault or not.

Now as far as the mystery is concerned in this one it is buried within the repetitive nature of Corey blaming the town and eventually does come to light. It’s one that I might have been really taken with as there was a creepy and disturbing vibe but if I blinked while reading I would have missed it as that part of the story wasn’t developed very well in my opinion. So as sad as I am to say this one just wasn’t for me and as much as the ideas behind Ms. Nijkamp’s stories appeal to me I think this may be my last attempt.

I received an advance copy from the publisher via NetGalley.

Honestly...I just couldn't get into this book. It's extremely well written, but started slowly enough that I just couldn't get emotionally involved. HOWEVER. As I said, it IS well written, and will still suit many readers. I just wasn't the right one for this book.

Before I Let Go is a suspenseful thriller about a young woman whose death is mysteriously hidden from her best friend. When Corey returns home to Alaska she finds that her best friend, Kyra, dead. It appears that she has committed suicide, with the entire town trying to stop Corey from finding out the truth. Young adults will enjoy this thriller about friendship, mental illness, and fighting to what you know is right.

Interesting look into grief and memories of place versus the stories we choose to tell ourselves and others.

I've heard so much praise for Marieke Nijkamp and her book This Is Where It Ends, although I haven't read it. I might in the future, but as a Virginia Tech graduate, stories of school shootings just sit wrongly with me. Before I Let Go however, was my opportunity to discover what this author was all about, through a safer (to me) story line. This story does chronicle depression and suicide, so I wanted to note this in case this is not a safe story line for some.

Before I Let Go follows Corey, a former Alaska native who has moved to Canada for school. As she prepares to return to her former home to visit her best friend Kyra, she receives the startling news that Kyra has committed suicide. Heartbroken and confused, Corey decides to keep her plans intact, returning to Lost Creek to try to get answers about Kyra's mysterious death and attend her memorial. But upon arriving, Corey discovers that things are not quite right. She doesn't know her town anymore, or the people in it. And worst of all, she doesn't understand why they suddenly idolized Kyra, a previous outcast due to her mental illness and outbursts.

When Corey starts asking questions, the townspeople turn on her, claiming that she doesn't understand and that she abandoned Kyra in her time of need. As Corey pieces together what happened, she comes to realize that Kyra became a tool for the townspeople as they forced her to prophesize the future through her depressive painting episodes. Kyra fell more and more into herself as they exploited her illness, ultimately giving in to her depression and trying to escape, but the people of Lost Creek would not let her. Corey tries to bring the truth to light, but the townspeople make an attempt on her life and try to chase her away. All that Corey has left of Kyra are some possessions she left hidden for Corey to find.

This book was a mental rollercoaster, that's for sure. Told through letters, first person POV, and even script format, the emotion is raw and real. The plot itself was a little empty, but I think that was the point. It wanted to hone in on feelings versus actions. I will say the different formats of writing were confusing and difficult to piece together. I think it was also a little too drawn out, this took me a lot longer to read than I was expecting, and although that is common for heavy books, it was not THAT heavy that I needed over 10 days to read it.

Overall Rating: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

Thanks to SOURCEBOOKS Fire for access to an advanced digital copy of this book!

Just two weeks before Corey is due to go back to her tiny, remote hometown to visit her best friend Kyra, she receives the devastating news that Kyra is dead. Corey immediately flies home to see Kyra's family and attend the funeral, but finds she is now treated like an outsider. Corey cannot accept that Kyra's death was a suicide, and the more she looks into the last several months of Kyra's life, the more sinister things seem. Will Corey find the truth, or will the town of Lost hold on to it's secrets forever?

First let me first say it is difficult to give this book a fair rating and review because it is definitely not my cup of tea. I guess I would classify it as magical realism crossed with psychological thriller; it is very dark and creepy, with strong sinister overtones and a touch of paranormal. It does draw the reader in, even as much as I knew it was not my kind of book, I wanted to know what really happened to Kyra, and whether Corey made it out of Lost alive. Overall, the writing was ok and, the characters of Corey and Kyra were pretty well-developed and it was well-paced. But something was just really off, or maybe it was just too weird for me. Another thing that seemed odd is that while most of the book is told in a first-person narrative by Corey, there are a few passages that are written like a script, which made it very disjointed and confusing.

I would not recommend this book to someone who likes lighter reads, realistic fiction, or lots of action. However, I would suggest it for those who like magical realism, psychological thrillers, and stories that are dark and disturbing.

Marieke Nijkamp is also the author of <i>This Is Where It Ends</i>

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a free digital ARC of this book. This book is true to its title description. The reader won't be disappointed when reading this book.

This book was chilling, and not just because it took place during an Alaskan winter, there was just a piece of every page that didn't sit right with you while you were reading it and that was very intriguing. I enjoyed reading this book, through small glimpses into the past, fragments of letters, and what was going on in the present. It spoke many haunting truths about how people perceive mental illness and how what people believe is not always what is best. I feel like I was missing the core of who Corey was though, we read about her relationship with Kyra, but besides that I felt like I didn't know as much about her as I would have liked. Despite that I enjoyed reading this book and the unsettling feelings it gave me.

This kept me on the edge of my seat throughout its entirety.
The story touched on topics all people struggle with on an internal level at one point or another, though most will never admit it and some even get angry if you push the issue.
This story makes that exploration lovely and touching by looking back fondly on her friend who had recently passed away.
I will not spoil anything about this book.
There's nothing better than a well written mystery. Particularly in context of a young adult novel. I have been searching for books like this and they are hard to find.
This is a gem. Well written and wonderfully weird. The MC is as odd as the story and both equally fascinating.

It is not often that you come across a book like this, a book that delivers a powerful emotional punch. I still feel battered and in turmoil after finishing it. It has impressed me so much; I ordered a printed copy for my bookshelf.
It is a pleasure to read a book that makes you think about things: about how people act as individuals and as a mob, about mental illness and the way people see a person with depression, about being so involved with your own life you forget that your friend is suffering, about how far people will go to keep up the illusion and justify their actions.
But more than that Marieke Nijkamp manages to weave a tale so bizarre and unbelievable that it just sounds true. It made my mind wander into Stephen King territory, but not quite. Yet, it was terrifying in the way the community acted as a single mindless unit. How they justified their behavior. Frightening how fast Cor went from being an insider to an outsider, looked at with suspicion.
I wished that Cor would have been able to get out with the letters and writings of Kyra. I wished that she would have told Kyra’s story.
This book is for YA readers. But truly it is recommended for everybody who loves a book that makes you think, a book that leaves you slightly reeling after reading the last words. In other words: Highly recommended. Marieke Nijkamp is an author to watch.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with the opportunity to read and review this book.