This book was a punch in the gut! Very hard to read if you've ever lost someone to illness. Joyce Maynard married her second husband late in life and lost him to cancer after 19 months. This is her memoir. It is phenomenal, heartbreaking, breathtaking.

This latest memoir from noted novelist and essayist Joyce Maynard, somewhat of a leading voice for her generation of Baby Boomers, tenderly recounts how she finally in her 50’s met, married, and lost the only man she had ever genuinely loved. Her husband Jim’s pancreatic cancer diagnosis and treatment serves as the framing event for the larger tale of Maynard’s coming to terms with the choices she has made throughout her life, including clearing up misconceptions about events that played out in some news quarters.

The book is divided into essentially two sections—before and after the diagnosis
--but effectively weaves in and out of time via flashbacks and personal reflections. The richest part of Maynard’s love story, paradoxically, depicts the couple’s intense fight against one of life’s most devastating cancers. We learn in exacting detail the medical ins and outs of battling pancreatic cancer, the unconventional paths taken, the triumphs met and missteps made along the way. Yet in Maynard’s skilled hands, the telling of this journey never drags readers down but instead sweeps us along on a crest of optimism. Says Maynard, “ The thing about hope is that it provides the motivation to try.” And try she does, frantically pursuing answers, researching long into the night to the neglect of her own ambitious career, flying from coast to coast and overseas, and, most rewarding, building a network of supportive friendships with other pancreatic cancer patients and their families.

At times, the author’s descriptions of jet-setting become annoying and tiresome (after all, how many of us can relate to this expensive, high-charged lifestyle, especially in the midst of fighting a terminal illness?), and Maynard could have been a bit more selective in some of her revelations. While this memoir lacks the robustness found in Maynard’s earlier writings, her supple prose, honesty, and finely detailed rendering create a vivid portrait that is nothing short of captivating.

The Best of Us is a touching recollection of Maynard's finding,love again and then watching her husband's downward spiral from pancreatic cancer. After only one year into the marriage her husband gets this diagnosis and together the couple scours every scientific, medical, and homeopathic treatment available. It's a touching, sad story as she commemorates her husband' struggle and the all too soon inevitability that the fight will end.

Some people are lucky enough to find their soulmates early on in life. My sister and her husband met when they were thirteen and fifteen and are still going strong over 20 years later. I was one of those that didn't meet their soulmates until they were in their 30's but I thank God every day that I finally found him.

Joyce Maynard didn't meet her soulmate until she was in her 60's. The Best of Us is their story of true love and a life together that was cut off before it had really even begun.

Joyce Maynard was a woman who did not need a man to complete her. She had a few serious relationships but she knew deep down that nothing would ever come of them and was perfectly content just having fun. She had met many different men in her time of singleness but after one long phone call, and a very nice dinner with Jim Barringer, a man that had found her on Match.com, her world would never be the same.

The chemistry was instant and Joyce knew Jim was not like the other guys she had dated before. Theirs was a whirlwind romance with lots of fun and adventures. They were married in a beautiful outdoor ceremony the summer of 2013 and began a beautiful life together.

Marriage was a little tough for the fiercely independent Joyce but Jim was perfect for Joyce, nurturing her independent side and going along with all of her crazy ideas. Life was as close to perfect their first year of marriage, and then everything changed with one doctor's visit.

Jim was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Their adventures ceased and the hunt for any and every treatment they could find ensued. Joyce poured over research and reached out to other pancreatic cancer survivors to gain all the knowledge she could to help her husband. Jim went along with every idea, including drinking breast milk, hoping the colostrum would help. It didn't. Nothing did.

Over the course of a year and half Jim fought for his life with Joyce by his side the entire time. The book goes into great detail about each treatment and surgery that was done which I think would be a great resource for anyone who is struggling or knows someone that is struggling with pancreatic cancer.

The entire time I am reading I know what is going to come and as the pages turn you know it's coming. I was curious to see how Joyce would write about her husband's last breaths and she did it with such love that tears spilled onto the page as I read the words. What really gripped me the entire time I was reading is that my husband, my soulmate, and me got married just a few short months before Jim and Joyce were married. I cannot imagine losing my husband right now and cannot even begin to imagine what Joyce went through.

The Best of Us is a beautiful story of true love and great loss. It is wonderfully written and when you are done you feel like you know Jim and Joyce on a deep, personal level. There are parts that are difficult to read and there are things that get repeated but I think that's all part of the journey that these two went on. I wish I could've heard more of Jim's voice in the story but the portrait of the man that Joyce loved was painted beautifully and I know that he will live in Joyce's heart forever.

*I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

A heartbreaking novel about a woman (who happens to be a well-known and successful author) who, after after a nasty divorce and many years living as a single mom, finds the love of her life at age 58, only to have him be diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, go through the hell of treatments, and then pass away far too young. My husband was diagnosed with the same deadly and terrifying disease this year, and it was even more painful for me to read this memoir and recognize every moment as all-too familiar and real. Maynard pulls no punches in revealing the dark side of her personality--kudos to her for honesty. It's an excellent reminder that we all must appreciate what we have today, never take anything for granted, tell our loved ones that we love them, take those trips we're dreaming about NOW-- don't put anything off for tomorrow, for you never know what will come around the corner and turn your life upside down in a second. Highly recommended.

I'm a big fan of Joyce Maynard and was excited to pick up her memoir, THE BEST OF US.  Maynard was married fairly young and then divorced for over 20 years when she met and fell in love with Jim.  They married and, shortly thereafter, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  She shares the story of their time together with the focus on his battle with cancer, from the caregiver's perspective.  As I expected to, I loved her writing but have to tell you, this book is gut wrenching.  It's also intimate, honest, and personal.  If you, or someone you love, has experienced cancer you will relate to much of this book as I did.  I found myself nodding and crying big, ugly tears as I read it and I felt devastated when I finished the book.  Even though it was tough to read at times, I'm glad I read it because it made me think about the way I want to live my life.  This book is well worth reading but be sure to have tissues handy when you pick it up. (4.5 stars)

Though I was familiar with Joyce Maynard and her books are on my ever-increasing list of things to read, this was the first book written by her that I read.

This is the story of Joyce meeting Jim Barringer late in life and feeling for the first time that she'd truly found her person and that he had found his. After a whirlwind courtship, they marry and are enjoying their fabulous life when Jim learns the devastating news that he has pancreatic cancer.

Joyce honestly portrays all the emotions she goes through when caring for someone with this life-altering disease, and having lost both my parents and a close friend to cancer, I could identify with many of the things she went through.

This was a difficult book to read because I knew what the outcome would be, but I know it must have been cathartic to write.

Because I enjoyed her writing style and because she mentioned her novel "Labor Day" several times in this memoir, I did start listening to the audio version of it and am about half-way through. I'd like to read some of her other memoirs as well.

This is a beautifully written memoir about a love story and the heart break of dealing with pancreatic cancer. Joyce Maynard takes us through meeting her husband, their short relationship before he is diagnosed with cancer, and then their battle with pancreatic cancer. This story takes the reader through so many emotions and though heart breaking, it is a story of love found late in life and the highs and lows that a good relationship can go through. I felt as though the author was so honest with all of the emotions she was feeling through this time in her life. She has a way with words that brought me in and kept me reading even though I knew what the eventual outcome would be.

Je savais qu'il me serait difficile de lire ce récit. J'ai beaucoup pensé à mon père, j'ai pleuré évidemment. Et j'ai admiré l'attitude de Joyce (son honnêteté aussi) et de son mari face à la maladie.

Joyce est restée longtemps célibataire après son divorce. Elle rencontre Jim par l'intermédiaire du site match.com. (Elle sort avec d'autres hommes aussi et nous offre quelques scènes moins romantiques, mais très cocasses avec un butor.) Ils se marient. Un an après, un cancer du pancréas est diagnostiqué chez Jim. Les chances de survie sont faibles, le traitement est atroce. Joyce recherche les meilleurs hôpitaux, les meilleurs spécialistes, les meilleurs traitements. Comme Joyce et Jim sont indépendants, le problème de l'assurance-maladie se pose. Heureusement, la loi Obamacare entre en vigueur. Les personnes non couvertes par leur employeur peuvent enfin souscrire une assurance sans risque d'être refusées et leurs antécédents médicaux ne sont pas demandés. Joyce reconnaît que le montant des primes est très élevé, mais l'assurance leur permet de limiter les frais. Jim et Joyce choisissent une équipe médicale de Boston car c'est là que se trouve le meilleur spécialiste de l'opération de Whipple que doit subir Jim. Ils recherchent également des traitements alternatifs non pris en charge, rencontrent des patients et des survivants et leur famille, ou communiquent avec eux. Joyce partage leur combat sur Facebook où elle se laisse aller à des confidences qui déplaisent parfois (quand elle évoque notamment l'après-Jim). Elle décrit sans fausse pudeur les derniers jours de Jim. Et se met très vite à écrire leur histoire comme Jim le lui avait demandé.

Joyce Maynard ne cache rien. Elle a décidé de tout dire. Comme toujours. Même si ses confidences ne sont pas appréciées de tout le monde (le récit de sa liaison avec J.D. Salinger avait été vu comme une trahison), elle choisit l'honnêteté. Elle décrit en détails la maladie de Jim, les soins qu'il reçoit, les séquelles des soins qu'il reçoit, de sa lassitude de devoir se "sacrifier" pour son mari. Et même si j'ai trouvé son comportement un peu puéril parfois, j'admire sa franchise et son courage pour s'occuper de Jim. Et elle arrive tout de même à trouver de l'humour dans cette situation terrible.

C'est superbe. C'est très bien écrit. C'est touchant. Et malgré la tristesse du sujet, l'histoire d'amour entre Jim et Joyce est très belle.

Thank you Netgalley, for the chance to review and advance copy of this wonderful book:
The two most important issues to me in a book are personal enlightenment and character growth - I feel I have learned so much through reading Maynard's account of her husband's struggle with pancreatic cancer. My husband and I are about the same ages as Joyce and Jim when the book was written, so a lot of what she describes about the relationship rings true to me.
I think the title, "The Best of Us", refers to something she wrote towards the end of the book - that they both grew in ways neither may have done, if this tragic illness had never occurred.
One thing I love about Maynard's work is her sometimes brutal honesty about herself. I feel I know her not just as a writer and excellent storyteller, but as a person.
I have read "At Home in the World", "After Her" & "Under the Influence" - I could be wrong, but there seems to be a similar feeling in her work - "At Home in the World" is an actual auto biography of sorts, but it also has a great story quality to it. "After Her" and "Under the Infuence"(one of my all time favorites) each have a great story, but also an autobiographical feel to them.

I would like to end this review with a quote from the book:

"He had become his finest self over the course of his ordeal. I like to think the same was true of me."

I received this copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Set to release on September 5th of 2017, THE BEST OF US, will touch hearts everywhere. This was my first experience with Joyce Maynard and all I can say after finishing this book in ONE DAY! Is just wow.

In her memoir, Joyce Maynard laid herself achingly bare, more than you would expect any author to do. She attacked topics critics had dug at in her own character and actions with no fear and taking responsibility for what had happened. She left no stone unturned and provided us with a story that was heartbreakingly beautiful. It was a deep, personal look into her time with her late husband. It provided heart warming moments when dreams were found in a second love not many believe they can find at the point in time that Maynard and her late husband were in their lives. It was full of frustration that is relatable within any marriage. And it held moments that made you want to cry and ask why something so horrible exists in the world.

I could easily tell that this memoir was a way to memorialize her husband and have a work of art that she and those that knew Jim could go back and read to remember all of the amazing things about him. I also believe this memoir will leave a lasting impact on anyone who reads it in all of the different topics this book covered.

I went through my own experience as I watched my uncle, my mother's brother, become a shell of his former self and pass away from pancreatic cancer. I read this book so quickly because I could not seem to stop. Every feeling was so vivid, the good and the bad. I had to stop multiple times and just marvel at how honest everything was.

I give this book 4.6 out of 5 stars.

The Best of Us just may be one of Joyce Maynard's best books. The poignant love story gives any of us "older" women hope that love can be found at any age. Found and enjoyed, even if it is only for a short period. Joyce and Jim's story is full of love and the tragedy that a life threatening illness can bring. It will make you laugh, and cry, everything a great book should do. I read this book over a weekend, and will know many of our library patrons that i will recommend it to when it comes out.

“Our life together: What we had imagined. What we got.”

Truer words were never written. It never plays out as we imagine, does it? Joyce Maynard shares with us her own love story, a sort of second life that she didn’t expect nor necessarily think she wanted. In her late fifties Joyce found love in Jim, at an age when people treat women like their ‘off the shelf, finished, done, a husk’ her true love entered. There is a memory she shares from her first marriage, when she was surprised by the many people that showed up to hear her speak and called home that night only to have her husband tell her “Just don’t come back with a swelled head”, the reader can’t help but feel the crush of it. To be witness to Jim’s arrival in Joyce’s life, submerged in the memories of Jim and the love they shared before his illness reached in like a thief, is a painful journey the author has bravely shared and a gift for any reader. The fight to ‘beat this thing’, to be the special one that can eat the right things, find the perfect treatment… well how can one not hope?

This is one of the most vulnerable memoirs I’ve read. The willingness to share the ‘earthquakes’ in her life, to expose all her wounds for our judgement- I’ve always felt there is a certain bravery in memoir. Maynard shares too the painful decisions she made with her adoptive daughters, and it had me thinking about the knee jerk reactions so many of us (myself included) have about others, famous or not, and their life choices. We have a habit of not thinking about the everyday struggles other’s face, that sometimes what may seem like a ‘Cruella De Vil ‘ move may have been the hardest step someone took and a selfless one at that.

I wonder, as I arrive each year with more disasters behind me, because we are nothing if not imperfect creatures, how we know love so much better in the second half of our lives. Here we are with our war wounds, grounded, maybe a bit defeated by our earlier idealism not just about love but family too that maybe the second half of our lives is the meat. Yes, it’s a given Jim dies at the end, but that isn’t the story. The story is their love, the fragility of time, the pain of hope and the crushing weight of loss. It’s not over for Joyce, and Jim is still with her, he was her guard dog- that sort of love remains forever.

I read that Joyce Maynard, selling her lover JD Salinger’s (yes that Salinger) letters was quoted as saying ‘I’d rather put my children through college than own a box of Salinger’s letters.” Is that terrible? I have two kids in college at the same time, my lord if only I had a box of letters of my own! Writers are loud mouths, famous or not, we cannot shut up- scribbling furiously, story tellers, observers that must share their experience, some of us in journals no one ever sees, others publishing their truth, there is something very interesting about this woman! He truth is biting, she doesn’t hide and I admire that.

I sometimes think about those in the spotlight and feel relief I am nobody, free to live my life without the entire world’s opinions about a life they haven’t spent one day in. Memoir is a strip tease, and those of us who are honest know we aren’t all beautiful underneath our clothes, we are flawed and Joyce admit this- even in her love with Jim she shares the ugly truth. There were times she resented the illness, anyone who has ever seen a loved one through sickness knows it’s not beautiful, it’s exhausting for the caretaker too- why is that such a shameful thing to admit?

It’s hard to read, because suffering is so unfair- as if the universe is picking on you and most especially your loved one. Is their final breath relief? Yes and God No! This is such a painful death and love story.

Publication Date: September 5, 2017

Bloomsbury USA

From the moment the author's husband gets his pancreatic cancer diagnosis, this book was unputdownable for me. I'm so sad they had so little time together, but, as she points out, her husband's illness refined them into their best selves, and who knows how long it would have taken them to arrive in the same place if the disease had not come?

Honest, well-written, and moving.

On a side note, Maynard is a fairly representative liberal Baby Boomer, so if that's going to bug you, that's going to bug you.

Joyce Maynard is an author I've enjoyed in the past so I was excited to read her latest book, a memoir.

Divorced for some 25 years, at the age of 59 Joyce meets her soulmate through match.com. Jim was a successful attorney and the two shared many of the same interests. The two marry in New Hampshire, in the state that Joyce had raised her family and move back to CA to purchase their dream home.

Sadly, their dream of happiness is marred by the fact that Jim is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, which has one of the lowest survival rates, just one year into their marriage. This memoir is not just their story but, Joyce's story pro to meeting Jim as well.

Deeply personal, well-written but, certainly not an easy read. There were parts of Joyce's story that made me angry over some of the decisions she made. This story certainly hit close to home, perhaps too close, as I was a caregiver to a mother who died of pancreatic cancer and I also lost a brother to this killer cancer as well. In the end I was happy I read her story.

I thank NetGalley and Bloomsbury Publishing for a prepublication copy of this book. Maynard is an excellent writer so I asked to review this memoir. As usual, she writes well – clear, descriptive, incisive. However, this book is very difficult for me to review because I like her novels so much – and this book is something else. There were three parts for me. The first part details where she was in life. She had been divorced for decades, her children were grown, she was living in Marin county in a lovely home, had a second home in Guatemala, and was dating whatever came along on internet dating sites. She moved from one man to another within hours, always looking for the perfect marriage partner that she knew existed from her dreams, from tv or her imagination.
There is a very funny part where she was on one of these dates and the guy asked her to go to dinner on Friday. She responded that she could not because she would be in Italy (at a days long writing seminar – paid for by her Italian publisher). He said, “Take me along,” and she said ok – not even knowing this guy’s middle name. He showed up, hot, angry, unwilling to participate in any of the activities of the seminar. After 4 days and advice from a fellow participant, she told him to leave. He did with foul, mean language and left her his bar and restaurant bills.
At this point, I was ready to give up on the book. Did I really want to read about all her wretched immature sexual adventures? But I stayed with it for a few more pages because I could not believe that Maynard could fill a whole book with such drivel.
Second part – she agreed to other internet dates, including a man named Jim who said in his self-description that he was Jimbunctious. (I did not make this up.) She was so busy with other men that she could not give time to Jim. After a couple of attempts at dates and some soul-searching and an initial lengthy phone call, they decided that they will be a couple. We then get pages of lively description of how much they are in love and the
wonderful adventurous life they live. They hike, they swim, they travel the world and sit out on the patio at sunset and talk. They went to her home in Guatemala She bought a farm in New England with land where they will settle forever. They got married there. Her three children love him; his three children are pretty cool to her at first. They hiked, swam nude, rode motorcycles, did outrageous things and were on their way home one night when Jim told her that he was in pain.
Part Three – a few days later, Jim was in terrible pain so they headed off to the doctor to start a year and a half search/exploration for a cure; they searched for the right doctors, treatments, alternative doctors, clinics, drugs, just one more treatment while Jim fought pancreatic cancer. Maynard gives us blow-by-blow of this fight. This final section is so tiring, perhaps because it is obvious that Jim is not improving and they seem to have such false hope.
For two adult educated people (Jim is an attorney) to spend so much time and money and effort when the outcome is so obvious was not realistic. Go home, enjoy yourselves and do anything you can and take the hand you were dealt.
So, the first part rates a 2/5 because there is some real humor there, the second fantasy part gets a 5/5 because she describes such endearing love and attention. The last part gets a 3/5 for determination. Overall, I gave it a 4 out of 5 but I would not read it again.
Frankly, I think a lot of book clubs would enjoy discussing this book, mainly because of some parts I have not detailed in this review. The book covers love, some really touching moments, anger, frustration, death, second marriages and merged families, perfect companions and searching for the miracle cure. Who doesn’t want that?

I've been reading Maynard from the beginning (what a long time that is!) and I've always liked her non-fiction better than her fiction. Her life has always been her best, if sometimes exploitative, subject so I had high hopes that her book on the sad journey she took with Jim would be as well written and thought provoking as it turned out to be. True, Maynard and Jim had the financial resources most do not, which allowed them to have adventures and experiences, but can anyone begrudge a dying man the opportunity to do whatever he can? Can anyone fault Maynard for sharing this? I can't. This is a hard book to read, like others of the genre, but it was important to me to read it because honestly it's another chapter in the life of a woman I feel I've grown to know. If you have read her before, you'll recognize her straightforward style. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. This doesn't have a happy ending but there is joy laced in and out.

Reviewed on goodreads. Story is very personal to me. I went through the same thing with my beloved husband who died around the time Jim died. Joyce articulates so many of my feelings and thoughts. You feel like you may be going crazy for some of them. PC is brutal beyond belief. It was a hard reading for me but also a bit of comfort.

This memoir is a later-in-life love story between Joyce and Jim, who passed away last year. Joyce writes honestly and beautifully - I love her 'voice". Her story is full of a passion and zest for life, with hard-won wisdom about what a partnership really means. By the end I felt I knew Joyce and Jim and I cried at her loss.

Joyce found Jim, her soul-mate, in her late 50's, after being alone for 25 years. They married, and were dealt a devastating diagnosis after only a year of marriage. As with any love story, there are highs and lows, moments that are flattering and not-so-flattering. Joyce tells it like it is, she speaks the truth and doesn't spare herself. It's a portrait of a marriage between two imperfect people who adored each other, and reinforces the hope that's its never too late.

Unfortunately, its also a story of navigating the reality of pancreatic cancer, with the physical and emotional toll on both patient and caregiver. The denial, the false hope, the endless hours of research, the selective hearing of patients and loved ones, and the trips to the top surgeons and oncologists - plus the fraudulent unnamed "Dr. Miracle". Joyce questions now if every decision was the wisest. The burden on the patient and family to navigate these choices when there are differing opinions among medical professionals is tough and hindsight is always 20/20. When is it time to say enough? Were the surgeries and treatments worth it? Are doctors 100% honest about the benefits/risks and the chance of success? But refusing treatment or surgery when you have that sliver of hope is tough....there are no easy answers when you're in the midst of making these choices. I do know if I had cancer I'd want Joyce to be my advocate - she is a force of nature and unstoppable.

But this book isn't all about illness, it's also a joyful book about loving life and living with abandon and generosity of spirit. For those who aren't dealing with end of life issues (yet - we all will sooner or later.) the take-away is to embrace the moments and people in your life, take nothing for granted. Knowing what Joyce had with Jim made the loss even more heartbreaking. To find such love after so many years, only to have it snatched from you in such a cruel way.

I read this cover to cover in one day and that's with spending 5 hours with my elderly mother. I'm not sure Joyce would approve not being totally present while reading on my iPhone app as mom considered her next Scrabble move - lol - but I couldn't tear myself away.

I first read a novel by Maynard this past year, loved it, so quickly read a second. I then found her on FB and was touched by her heartfelt posts about her husband's illness and death. So when I received an e-mail from Netgalley I eagerly snapped it up. I am so glad I did.

A stunningly moving memoir. So honest and raw and thought provoking and sad. Much more actually. The kind of book you never want to end. Thank you Joyce Maynard for showing me ways to get through life! And thanks to NetGalley for the arc.