Wow. What an experience! This is the saddest true love story I’ve ever heard. This memoir is well-written and infused with emotion. It’s so vivid, I felt like I had a front-row seat. I couldn’t put it down—which is weird, given that the book is about a man dying of cancer. Not the most upbeat subject. 

The story is told by the writer Joyce Maynard, who, in her late 50s, found and married the love of her life, Jim, only to lose him to pancreatic cancer eighteen months later. This is a chronicle of their relationship—the wonderful Before diagnosis, and the devastating After.

The tone is earnest, conversational, and full of tenderness, determination, and over-the-top energy. I shared the constant worries, the hopefulness they felt as little things appeared to get better, the devastation they felt as his condition grew worse. 

Both had been married and had grown kids. Neither one expected to find what they found. They pictured getting old together. Their story was so uplifting, so rich with love, I wanted it to go on forever. So did they. 
  
The book is large for a memoir, nearly 450 pages. The latter half of the book is about what happened after Jim’s diagnosis. I found myself tearing up when the diagnosis was given. I hardly ever cry when reading, so this just tells you how powerful a writer we have here. 

The first half of the memoir covers how they met and how they loved each other. Maynard paints a vivid picture of her loving man, and shows all his complexities. His expensive clothes and car would normally be a turn-off for me (anti-cool), but I learn again that appearances aren’t everything. He was so much more than he appeared to be. And the relationship was the closest to a good fairytale that I’ve ever seen. They lived the high life—great food, great trips, great friends, houses here and there. They had it all. Until.

Maynard has an honest style, never glorifying her life and never ignoring her faults. There’s one choice she made prior to meeting Jim that got a lot of negative press. Here, she was able to explain her decision in the hope, I’m sure, that people would understand why she did what she did and how it affected her. It’s a heartbreaker of a story. This event was secondary, of course, to the story of their marriage and Jim’s illness, but I’m glad she included it. She also included a well-told story about Jim’s pro bono work (where Maynard acted as his assistant) to help an African student who was getting a raw deal, and Jim’s work just endeared him to me even more.

Really, there is a third being in this memoir—and a true villain: Pancreatic cancer. Mean. Devastating. Relentless. Evil. Unstoppable. Taking over, taking more. Stripping people of strength and dignity. And in this case, the villain won, killing its victim. Oh what an ordeal, oh what a struggle they had. Fighting the disease was Maynard’s full-time job. She had notebooks full of doctors’ names, support groups, clinical trials, medicines, treatments, herbs, food. She never let up; she seemed to have endless energy.

Jim seemed to do way more than I would have thought possible. He climbed mountains, he kept driving, he went across the country numerous times, and even went to other countries—sometimes in the midst of chemo. I can’t imagine traveling when he was getting so weak. But both of them held onto hope, and they wanted to life to its fullest as long as he could. Days before he died, they went to a Dylan concert. His bravery and determination to get to the concert, combined with the care that Maynard and the nurse’s station gave him, just turned my heart inside out.

You hear about how terminal cancer patients try everything, and Joyce and Jim did. She talked about the questions that everyone in their shoes have. If we had done this earlier, if we had gone to this doctor first, if he hadn’t had a complicated surgery, if he had maintained a strict diet—could any of these things have saved, or at least prolonged, his life? This book called to mind Being Mortal, a wonderful non-fiction book on illness and death.  

Keeping hope alive was super important to them. It was only in the last month or so that they realized they would not win the battle. Their acceptance of his imminent death was gentle and touching. Joyce felt like all they went through together brought out the best in her.

One thing I struggled with was the realization that this couple had the financial means to try every single thing possible. They could fly coast-to-coast to see the best doctors in the field. They could afford super expensive treatments that insurance didn’t cover. A couple of times Maynard did say that their finances weren’t great, but I still saw that they had the privilege of trying everything possible. I couldn’t help but think of those who could not afford to “try everything,” to shop for doctors country-wide, to pay for exorbitant experimental treatments, to pay for places to stay in far-away cities. What it does drive home, though, is that money can’t kill cancer, no matter how much you throw at it.

I read one of Maynard’s novels, called Under the Influence, in 2016. It was a 4-star read. For some reason I decided to visit her Facebook page at that time, and there I found a current chronicle about her days with Jim, who had just died. It was so very powerful, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. That’s why I was looking forward to this memoir. I have been meaning to read her earlier memoir about her relationship (when she was a teen) with the author J. D. Salinger. I need to read it sooner now, as Maynard’s life fascinates me.  I also plan to read all of her novels. 

An amazing memoir, one that I am recommending highly. I think that people in the midst of caring for a terminally ill loved one will especially find it cathartic and informative. The only people I wouldn’t recommend this book to are those who have found (illness-free) love late in life. 

Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy.

In her newest memoir, “The Best of Us”, Maynard chronicles her relationship with her second husband Jim, from their whirlwind romance to his pancreatic cancer diagnoses. What begins with a fairytale courtship for two people in their late fifties quickly morphs into their joint fight for Jim’s survival. 
     I’m always drawn to Maynard’s memoirs because of her fierce honesty. Similar to “At Home in the World,” we continue to see a woman unafraid to examine herself under the plainest of lights. She is willing to show the reader both the tender moment when she curls up in bed with her husband after his diagnoses to read their wedding vows to one another, and the moment that she posts on social media that she resents her husband for keeping her from the things she loves most, like writing. She does not shy away from discussing delicate topics, such as the rehoming of her adopted Nigerian children, just a year after she’s brought them home.  She’s even-toned and candid about her decisions, speaks in frank terms of the backlash and threats she received as a result. 
	I admire the grace with which Maynard handles her struggle to come to terms with her husband’s terminal diagnoses and their collective fear. There are points in this story that are so honest and heartbreaking --- a letter from her friend Deborah, asking “have you figured out ‘hope’ yet? And if so, would you mind sharing,” a quote from her friend Graf, “You are swimming now across this vast lake and you know now that only one of you will make it. What can you do but keep moving toward the shore?” And the most poignant, “If only,” I often said, “you could learn the lessons of cancer without having cancer.” 
     This is a wonderful story not only of illness and fear, but of love and loyalty. 

     Huge thanks to Net Galley and to Bloomsbury publishing for my digital copy for a fair and honest review.

Maynard's candor was inspiring and her love and loss palpable.  I loved this book for just those reasons!

It is only fairly recently that I have begun reading memoirs or biographies written by author whose book I love to read. I am amazed at the insight this provides when I next read their books, makes ten more meaningful in a way. This book is a wonderful, if heartbreaking, homage to a man she met and married late in her life, a man she had for too short a time.

She allows the reader into the most personal of thoughts, actions, mistakes, regrets and joys in her life. It is searingly honest, if a times uncomfortably sentimental. It is both hard to read and a joy to read. It covers her first marriage and divorce, her children and other everyday things in her life. Her publishing career, the trips she made, her dating experiences, and her hopes and goals in her life.

Her husband's cancer, treatments,  how they struggled to make each day meaningful. So at times it is difficult to read as you can imagine, but it ends with love and hope. I can only wish her well, with a great deal of admiration and respect.

ARC from Netgalley
Publishes September 5th by Bloomsbury.

This book was a punch in the gut!  Very hard to read if  you've ever lost someone to illness.  Joyce Maynard married her second husband late in life and lost him to cancer after 19 months.  This is her memoir.  It is phenomenal, heartbreaking, breathtaking.

This latest memoir from noted novelist and essayist Joyce Maynard, somewhat of a leading voice for her generation of Baby Boomers, tenderly recounts how she finally in her 50’s met, married, and lost the only man she had ever genuinely loved.  Her husband Jim’s pancreatic cancer diagnosis and treatment serves as the framing event for the larger tale of Maynard’s coming to terms with the choices she has made throughout her life, including clearing up misconceptions about events that played out in some news quarters.

The book is divided into essentially two sections—before and after the diagnosis
--but effectively weaves in and out of time via flashbacks and personal reflections. The richest part of Maynard’s love story, paradoxically, depicts the couple’s intense fight against one of life’s most devastating cancers. We learn in exacting detail the medical ins and outs of battling pancreatic cancer, the unconventional paths taken, the triumphs met and missteps made along the way. Yet in Maynard’s skilled hands, the telling of this journey never drags readers down but instead sweeps us along on a crest of optimism. Says Maynard, “ The thing about hope is that it provides the motivation to try.” And try she does, frantically pursuing answers, researching long into the night to the neglect of her own ambitious career, flying from coast to coast and overseas, and, most rewarding, building a network of supportive friendships with other pancreatic cancer patients and their families.

At times, the author’s descriptions of jet-setting become annoying and tiresome (after all, how many of us can relate to this expensive, high-charged lifestyle, especially in the midst of fighting a terminal illness?), and Maynard could have been a bit more selective in some of her revelations. While this memoir lacks the robustness found in Maynard’s earlier writings, her supple prose, honesty, and finely detailed rendering create a vivid portrait that is nothing short of captivating.

The Best of Us is a touching recollection of Maynard's finding,love again and then watching her husband's downward spiral from pancreatic cancer. After only one year into the marriage her husband gets this diagnosis and together the couple scours every scientific, medical, and homeopathic treatment available. It's a touching, sad story as she commemorates her husband' struggle and the all too soon inevitability that the fight will end.

Some people are lucky enough to find their soulmates early on in life.  My sister and her husband met when they were thirteen and fifteen and are still going strong over 20 years later.  I was one of those that didn't meet their soulmates until they were in their 30's but I thank God every day that I finally found him.  

Joyce Maynard didn't meet her soulmate until she was in her 60's.  The Best of Us is their story of true love and a life together that was cut off before it had really even begun.

Joyce Maynard was a woman who did not need a man to complete her.  She had a few serious relationships but she knew deep down that nothing would ever come of them and was perfectly content just having fun.  She had met many different men in her time of singleness but after one long phone call, and a very nice dinner with Jim Barringer, a man that had found her on Match.com, her world would never be the same.

The chemistry was instant and Joyce knew Jim was not like the other guys she had dated before.  Theirs was a whirlwind romance with lots of fun and adventures.  They were married in a beautiful outdoor ceremony the summer of 2013 and began a beautiful life together.

Marriage was a little tough for the fiercely independent Joyce but Jim was perfect for Joyce, nurturing her independent side and going along with all of her crazy ideas.  Life was as close to perfect their first year of marriage, and then everything changed with one doctor's visit.

Jim was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  Their adventures ceased and the hunt for any and every treatment they could find ensued.  Joyce poured over research and reached out to other pancreatic cancer survivors to gain all the knowledge she could to help her husband.  Jim went along with every idea, including drinking breast milk, hoping the colostrum would help.  It didn't.  Nothing did.

Over the course of a year and half Jim fought for his life with Joyce by his side the entire time.  The book goes into great detail about each treatment and surgery that was done which I think would be a great resource for anyone who is struggling or knows someone that is struggling with pancreatic cancer.

The entire time I am reading I know what is going to come and as the pages turn you know it's coming.  I was curious to see how Joyce would write about her husband's last breaths and she did it with such love that tears spilled onto the page as I read the words.  What really gripped me the entire time I was reading is that my husband, my soulmate, and me got married just a few short months before Jim and Joyce were married.  I cannot imagine losing my husband right now and cannot even begin to imagine what Joyce went through.

The Best of Us is a beautiful story of true love and great loss.  It is wonderfully written and when you are done you feel like you know Jim and Joyce on a deep, personal level.  There are parts that are difficult to read and there are things that get repeated but I think that's all part of the journey that these two went on.  I wish I could've heard more of Jim's voice in the story but the portrait of the man that Joyce loved was painted beautifully and I know that he will live in Joyce's heart forever.

*I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

A heartbreaking novel about a woman (who happens to be a well-known and successful author) who, after after a nasty divorce and many years living as a single mom, finds the love of her life at age 58, only to have him be diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, go through the hell of treatments, and then pass away far too young. My husband was diagnosed with the same deadly and terrifying disease this year, and it was even more painful for me to read this memoir and recognize every moment as all-too familiar and real. Maynard pulls no punches in revealing the dark side of her personality--kudos to her for honesty. It's an excellent reminder that we all must appreciate what we have today, never take anything for granted, tell our loved ones that we love them, take those trips we're dreaming about NOW-- don't put anything off for tomorrow, for you never know what will come around the corner and turn your life upside down in a second. Highly recommended.

I'm a big fan of Joyce Maynard and was excited to pick up her memoir, THE BEST OF US.  Maynard was married fairly young and then divorced for over 20 years when she met and fell in love with Jim.  They married and, shortly thereafter, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  She shares the story of their time together with the focus on his battle with cancer, from the caregiver's perspective.  As I expected to, I loved her writing but have to tell you, this book is gut wrenching.  It's also intimate, honest, and personal.  If you, or someone you love, has experienced cancer you will relate to much of this book as I did.  I found myself nodding and crying big, ugly tears as I read it and I felt devastated when I finished the book.  Even though it was tough to read at times, I'm glad I read it because it made me think about the way I want to live my life.  This book is well worth reading but be sure to have tissues handy when you pick it up.  (4.5 stars)

Though I was familiar with Joyce Maynard and her books are on my ever-increasing list of things to read, this was the first book written by her that I read.

This is the story of Joyce meeting Jim Barringer late in life and feeling for the first time that she'd truly found her person and that he had found his.  After a whirlwind courtship, they marry and are enjoying their fabulous life when Jim learns the devastating news that he has pancreatic cancer.

Joyce honestly portrays all the emotions she goes through when caring for someone with this life-altering disease, and having lost both my parents and a close friend to cancer, I could identify with many of the things she went through.

This was a difficult book to read because I knew what the outcome would be, but I know it must have been cathartic to write.  

Because I enjoyed her writing style and because she mentioned her novel "Labor Day" several times in this memoir, I did start listening to the audio version of it and am about half-way through. I'd like to read some of her other memoirs as well.

This is a beautifully written memoir about a love story and the heart break of dealing with pancreatic cancer.  Joyce Maynard takes us through meeting her husband, their short relationship before he is diagnosed with cancer, and then their battle with pancreatic cancer.  This story takes the reader through so many emotions and though heart breaking, it is a story of love found late in life and the highs and lows that a good relationship can go through.  I felt as though the author was so honest with all of the emotions she was feeling through this time in her life.  She has a way with words that brought me in and kept me reading even though I knew what the eventual outcome would be.

Je savais qu'il me serait difficile de lire ce récit. J'ai beaucoup pensé à mon père, j'ai pleuré évidemment. Et j'ai admiré l'attitude de Joyce (son honnêteté aussi) et de son mari face à la maladie.

Joyce est restée longtemps célibataire après son divorce. Elle rencontre Jim par l'intermédiaire du site match.com. (Elle sort avec d'autres hommes aussi et nous offre quelques scènes moins romantiques, mais très cocasses avec un butor.) Ils se marient. Un an après, un cancer du pancréas est diagnostiqué chez Jim. Les chances de survie sont faibles, le traitement est atroce. Joyce recherche les meilleurs hôpitaux, les meilleurs spécialistes, les meilleurs traitements. Comme Joyce et Jim sont indépendants, le problème de l'assurance-maladie se pose. Heureusement, la loi Obamacare entre en vigueur. Les personnes non couvertes par leur employeur peuvent enfin souscrire une assurance sans risque d'être refusées et leurs antécédents médicaux ne sont pas demandés. Joyce reconnaît que le montant des primes est très élevé, mais l'assurance leur permet de limiter les frais. Jim et Joyce choisissent une équipe médicale de Boston car c'est là que se trouve le meilleur spécialiste de l'opération de Whipple que doit subir Jim. Ils recherchent également des traitements alternatifs non pris en charge, rencontrent des patients et des survivants et leur famille, ou communiquent avec eux. Joyce partage leur combat sur Facebook où elle se laisse aller à des confidences qui déplaisent parfois (quand elle évoque notamment l'après-Jim). Elle décrit sans fausse pudeur les derniers jours de Jim. Et se met très vite à écrire leur histoire comme Jim le lui avait demandé.

Joyce Maynard ne cache rien. Elle a décidé de tout dire. Comme toujours. Même si ses confidences ne sont pas appréciées de tout le monde (le récit de sa liaison avec J.D. Salinger avait été vu comme une trahison), elle choisit l'honnêteté. Elle décrit en détails la maladie de Jim, les soins qu'il reçoit, les séquelles des soins qu'il reçoit, de sa lassitude de devoir se "sacrifier" pour son mari. Et même si j'ai trouvé son comportement un peu puéril parfois, j'admire sa franchise et son courage pour s'occuper de Jim. Et elle arrive tout de même à trouver de l'humour dans cette situation terrible.

C'est superbe. C'est très bien écrit. C'est touchant. Et malgré la tristesse du sujet, l'histoire d'amour entre Jim et Joyce est très belle.

Thank you Netgalley, for the chance to review and advance copy of this wonderful book:
The two most important  issues to me in a book are personal enlightenment and character growth - I feel I have learned so much through reading Maynard's account of her husband's struggle with pancreatic cancer.  My husband and I are about the same ages as Joyce and Jim when the book was written, so a lot of what she describes about the relationship rings true to me.  
I think the title, "The Best of Us", refers to something she wrote towards the end of the book - that they both grew in ways neither may have done, if this tragic illness had never occurred.  
One thing I love about Maynard's work is her sometimes brutal honesty about herself.  I feel I know her not just as a writer and excellent storyteller, but as a person.
I have read "At Home in the World", "After Her" & "Under the Influence" - I could be wrong, but there seems to be a similar feeling in her work - "At Home in the World" is an actual auto biography of sorts, but it also has a great story quality to it.  "After Her" and "Under the Infuence"(one of my all time favorites) each have a great story, but also an autobiographical feel to them.

I would like to end this review with a quote from the book:

"He had become his finest self over the course of his ordeal. I like to think the same was true of me."

I received this copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. 

Set to release on September 5th of 2017, THE BEST OF US, will touch hearts everywhere. This was my first experience with Joyce Maynard and all I can say after finishing this book in ONE DAY! Is just wow. 

In her memoir, Joyce Maynard laid herself achingly bare, more than you would expect any author to do. She attacked topics critics had dug at in her own character and actions with no fear and taking responsibility for what had happened. She left no stone unturned and provided us with a story that was heartbreakingly beautiful. It was a deep, personal look into her time with her late husband. It provided heart warming moments when dreams were found in a second love not many believe they can find at the point in time that Maynard and her late husband were in their lives. It was full of frustration that is relatable within any marriage. And it held moments that made you want to cry and ask why something so horrible exists in the world. 

I could easily tell that this memoir was a way to memorialize her husband and have a work of art that she and those that knew Jim could go back and read to remember all of the amazing things about him. I also believe this memoir will leave a lasting impact on anyone who reads it in all of the different topics this book covered.

I went through my own experience as I watched my uncle, my mother's brother, become a shell of his former self and pass away from pancreatic cancer. I read this book so quickly because I could not seem to stop. Every feeling was so vivid, the good and the bad. I had to stop multiple times and just marvel at how honest everything was. 

I give this book 4.6 out of 5 stars.

The Best of Us just may be one of Joyce Maynard's best books. The poignant love story gives any of us "older" women hope that love can be found at any age. Found and enjoyed, even if it is only for a short period.  Joyce and Jim's story is full of love and the tragedy that a life threatening illness can bring. It will make you laugh, and cry, everything a great book should do. I read this book over a weekend, and will know many of our library patrons that i will recommend it to when it comes out.

“Our life together: What we had imagined. What we got.”

Truer words were never written. It never plays out as we imagine, does it? Joyce Maynard shares with us her own love story, a sort of second life that she didn’t expect nor necessarily think she wanted. In her late fifties Joyce found love in Jim, at an age when people treat women like their ‘off the shelf, finished, done, a husk’ her true love entered. There is a memory she shares from her first marriage, when she was surprised by the many people that showed up to hear her speak  and called home that night only to have her husband tell her “Just don’t come back with a swelled head”, the reader can’t help but feel the crush of it. To be witness to Jim’s arrival in Joyce’s life, submerged in the memories of Jim and the love they shared before his illness reached in like a thief, is a painful journey the author has bravely shared and a gift for any reader. The fight to ‘beat this thing’, to be the special one that can eat the right things, find the perfect treatment… well how can one not hope?

This is one of the most vulnerable memoirs I’ve read. The willingness to share the ‘earthquakes’ in her life, to expose all her wounds for our judgement- I’ve always felt there is a certain bravery in memoir. Maynard shares too the painful decisions she made with her adoptive daughters, and it had me thinking about the knee jerk reactions so many of us (myself included) have about others, famous or not, and their life choices. We have a habit of not thinking about the everyday struggles other’s face, that sometimes what may seem like a ‘Cruella De Vil ‘ move may have been the hardest step someone took and a selfless one at that.

I wonder, as I arrive each year with more disasters behind me, because we are nothing if not imperfect creatures, how we know love so much better in the second half of our lives. Here we are with our war wounds, grounded, maybe a bit defeated by our earlier idealism not just about love but family too that maybe the second half of our lives is the meat. Yes, it’s a given Jim dies at the end, but that isn’t the story. The story is their love, the fragility of time, the pain of hope and the crushing weight of loss. It’s not over for Joyce, and Jim is still with her, he was her guard dog- that sort of love remains forever.

I read that Joyce Maynard, selling her lover JD Salinger’s (yes that Salinger) letters was quoted as saying ‘I’d rather put my children through college than own a box of Salinger’s letters.”  Is that terrible? I have two kids in college at the same time, my lord if only I had a box of letters of my own! Writers are loud mouths, famous or not, we cannot shut up- scribbling furiously, story tellers, observers that must share their experience,  some of us in journals no one ever sees, others publishing their truth, there is something very interesting about this woman! He truth is biting, she doesn’t hide and I admire that.

I sometimes think about those in the spotlight and feel relief I am nobody, free to live my life without the entire world’s opinions about a life they haven’t spent one day in. Memoir is a strip tease, and those of us who are honest know we aren’t all beautiful underneath our clothes, we are flawed and Joyce admit this- even in her love with Jim she shares the ugly truth. There were times she resented the illness, anyone who has ever seen a loved one through sickness knows it’s not beautiful, it’s exhausting for the caretaker too- why is that such a shameful thing to admit?

It’s hard to read, because suffering is so unfair- as if the universe is picking on you and most especially your loved one. Is their final breath relief? Yes and God No! This is such a painful death and love story.

Publication Date: September 5, 2017

Bloomsbury USA

From the moment the author's husband gets his pancreatic cancer diagnosis, this book was unputdownable for me. I'm so sad they had so little time together, but, as she points out, her husband's illness refined them into their best selves, and who knows how long it would have taken them to arrive in the same place if the disease had not come?

Honest, well-written, and moving. 

On a side note, Maynard is a fairly representative liberal Baby Boomer, so if that's going to bug you, that's going to bug you.

Joyce Maynard is an author I've enjoyed in the past so I was excited to read her latest book, a memoir.

Divorced for some 25 years, at the age of 59 Joyce meets her soulmate through match.com. Jim was a successful attorney and the two shared many of the same interests. The two marry in New Hampshire, in the state that Joyce had raised her family and move back to CA to purchase their dream home. 

Sadly, their dream of happiness is marred by the fact that Jim is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, which has one of the lowest survival rates, just one year into their marriage. This memoir is not just their story but, Joyce's story pro to meeting Jim as well.

Deeply personal, well-written but, certainly not an easy read. There were parts of Joyce's story that made me angry over some of the decisions she made. This story certainly hit close to home, perhaps too close, as I was a caregiver to a mother who died of pancreatic cancer and I also lost a brother to this killer cancer as well. In the end I was happy I read her story.

Truly heart wrenching and terribly beautiful. The Best Of Us is one of those books that you never stop thinking about. Joyce Maynard shares what it's like to fall in love and hold onto love until the very last day and beyond. 
What I loved about this book was the story she told. The story of her life before and after finding out the diagnosis. It was honest, heart breaking, and beautiful all in one and it is story that reminds us it is never too late.