**An ARC of this title was kindly given by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review**

Where can I even start with this one? This book was everything I never knew I wanted and/or needed in a book. The story was, well, the story was perfect. Conor...I loved him. I hurt for him. I wanted everything for him to just be okay finally. I wanted him feel like he could just finally breathe. Will..I spent an awful lot of time hating him. And I know I shouldn't have. But, here we are. He was supposed to be the good one. The sweet, kind, nurturing one. The forgiving loving one. And he tossed Conor away. I know that what Conor did, more than once, was grounds for what Will did. But, I think this was a special case. Conor wasn't just some unfeeling, heartless man who didn't care about Will. He hard-core loved Will. But, demons...he had them. He tried to fight them. Most often failing. And Will's action/reaction to one of the things Conor did...well, I think it is what ultimately what pushed Conor to thinking he had no way out other than what he had planned for his 40th birthday. I know I'm going to be in the minority here with this, but I just kept on hating Will for abandoning Conor, giving him false hope, then being a jerk about it afterwards. It killed me to see Conor's heartbreak over and over again.
There are so many other things going on in this book, other than the relationship of the two MC's though. Everything was handled well and perfectly.
I found myself crying through reading Conor's story. Maybe because I saw a bit of myself in him from time to time and could relate in a sense. I loved Conor. I wanted the world for him. I wanted him to feel loved for once in his life without the specter of being left behind again looming his every waking hour.
If you're looking for a book that has all loose ends tied up in a pretty bow, a HFN or HEA you won't find any of that here. This is heart-wrenching story telling, the best I have seen in a very long while.
This one will stay with me for a very long time...

Excellent writing. Easy flow and development of the plot with engaging and endearing characters. A big shout out to Harlan as he was my very favorite secondary character.

Even though mine will be an unpopular opinion, I have to be honest and admit that this was a difficult story for me to read. I found it depressing. Constantly depressing with very little let-up. Only a few instances of humorous dialogue keeping it from becoming completely dark.

This is Conor's story. A sad, messed-up life, story. Not messed up wholly by circumstance but by his very own actions and reactions many times. I personally found him very hard to like. I believe I was meant to feel sympathetic towards him, but instead I found myself annoyed and even angry at him a lot of the time. His self-reflection blaming his childhood for the mistakes he makes as an adult came across whiny to me. It sounded like his partner had an even worse childhood and yet had overcome it to become a decent and caring man.

There were two critical places in the story where I struggled to understand the developing action. They were glossed over assuming the reader would instinctively undertand what and why things were happening as they were. I needed more detail in both places.

I have to give this novel at least 3 stars because the writing is excellent, the plot original and the characters well fleshed out.