First, I have to say how much I love how real Nicki Koziarz is!  She is one of those people you just want to go sit down and have coffee with and enjoy her wisdom and conversation.

We have all struggled with the "Why Her?" question.  I know I have at times.  I see my daughters going through it too!  I'm going to give my daughters a copy!

In this book Nicki walks us through the lives of Rachel and Leah and we learn 6 truths to help us confront the comparison question of "Why Her?"  These truths will help us be satisfied with our own successes, find contentment and gain godly wisdom.

I can't wait to see how God uses Nicki and this book in the coming years!

“I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review."

Who’s Your “Her”

If you've ever sneered at someone and thought "I can do that better than her." Or if you've wished you had what "she" has. Or if you thought you missed out on being given that certain talent...then this book is for YOU! That's right! YOU! Author Nicki Koziarz hits the nail on the head with this comparison thing...scratch that, comparison trap. She will show as she walks us through the "6 Truths We Need to Hear When Measuring Up Leaves Us Falling Behind" is truth we need to have deep in our souls so we can become all God created us to be. This book will make you laugh, cry, and I bet you'll be nodding your head in agreement as Nicki shares her own personal struggles to show you...she's been there, and she gets it! Enough about what I have to say, y'all just go get this book.

Thank you B&H publishing for the advanced reader copy! And just so you know, I loved this book so much, I purchased 3 copies for my friends.

I am blessed to have been a part of Nicki's Why Her? Launch Group. I was given a complimentary advanced copy of this book by B&H. How many of us ask this question more times than we would like to admit it. How many times have we been paralyzed right after asking the question Why Her? See as I started my journey to read this book I thought it was something I had overcome and I wanted to read this book to not only confirm that but also to be equip to help others. But as soon as I opened this book I realized that no, comparison is still a struggle for me. One of the many things that spoke to me was The sneaky "must be nice" thoughts that come up in my life and are at The very root of comparison. This book had helped to be honest with myself and invite God to come and clean my heart and mind. The awesome thing is that God will help us through the story of Leah and Rachel, He will open our eyes. Nicki is so vulnerable and honest with us. She shares her testimony and through God's word gives us 6 Truths that will help us when the question Why Her? comes up again. I will like to invite you to not only buy this book but sign up for the upcoming Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study starting on April 9 to May 18 https://proverbs31.org/study/online-bible-studies.

Unfortunately, many women fall into the trap of comparison whether they choose to admit it or not. It can entangle any of us in such a hidden agenda approach that we don't even realize how much we are allowing it to control our every day choices. The deceiver is craftily at work in the mind of women, hissing guilt, shame, and lies that make them doubt God's gracious gift and promises. He steals away the hope of fully living God's plan with joy and freedom.
Nikki personally shares her heart and the worth each of us has in God's eyes. Though our physical appearances, strengths and weaknesses may look different, God has uniquely created each of us in a way to bring Him honor and glory. Believe God's truth and hear it with conviction. His evident love and desire for revealing to each of us nothing can compare with who He made you to be.

The more I read and talk to people, the more I think we all suffer from comparisons. Recently, I've read several books dedicated to the subject, and it's been something I've wrestled with a lot myself. In her new book Why Her? Nicki Koziarz tackles this subject head-on through the lens of a well-known Bible story--that of two sisters who both married the same man, and spent the rest of their lives in a perpetual state of comparison and bickering.



Jacob loved Rachel from the moment he saw her. He worked seven years to make her his bride. A terrible trick on his wedding night left him married to her older sister, Leah. Jacob agreed to work seven more years for Rachel's hand. So, he ended up married to both women. Oh boy. Can you imagine sharing your husband with another woman? Even worse, can you imagine sharing your husband with your sister? Jacob loved Rachel, and hated Leah--a fact that Rachel seemed to enjoy throwing up to her sister. It doesn't help that even the Bible says Rachel was beautiful, and Leah was...not. The situation only got worse when Leah started having babies, and Rachel couldn't.

The struggle was real, ya'll.

I've never had to share my husband with anyone. (Trust me, it ain't happening!) But, how often do I fall into the trap of comparing myself to others, and feeling like I don't measure up? More often than I care to admit here. I've come to realize that nothing good comes from comparison. Actually, comparison stems from jealousy. Ouch. That's an ugly word that we really don't like to think about. And definitely not one we want to use to describe ourselves.

We don't usually speak the "Why her?" question aloud. We don't even want to admit that we ask it. In reality it sounds kind of childish. But, in our minds, the question is alive. It comes whenever we see someone living the life that we'd like to live. Why her, and not me?
•Why do her kids behave like little angels, while I'm wrestling with mine to sit still?
•Why does she have plenty of money, while I'm struggling to pay my bills?
•Why did she get a promotion? I'm qualified, I've worked here longer, and I deserve one!
•Why is her husband so much more romantic than mine?

And the list could go on and on. We ask a "Why her?" question every time we compare our lives to someone else's, and find ourselves lacking. But, it's time to identify comparison for what it is. It's time to let it stop ruining our lives and alienating us from our friends. Comparison (jealousy) keeps us from seeing life the way it really is. It keeps us from seeing the good in our own lives, but it also hides the truth of others' lives, too. No one has the perfect life, and there is always a behind-the-scenes story that we can't see.

In her trademark 'laugh-because-you-know-it's-true' style, Nicki Koziarz brought so many truths to light for me in Why Her? I've come to see my petty jealousy for what it is. Even though I will never share Rachel and Leah's story (thank God for bigamy laws!), I can identify with their thoughts, attitudes and actions. But, this book does more that just tell you what you're doing wrong, but gives solid steps to get it right! When you read Why Her? you will be forced to take an honest look at yourself, at your life, and your comparison issues. I think we probably all know what our struggle is.

Why Her? is a great read for any woman who wants to let go of the comparison fight. Convincing us to compare ourselves to others is another trick of Satan to keep us from living up to our full potential as daughters of God. And as I've talked about many times before, there is only one way to fight the lies of Satan. We must combat his lies with truth. In Why Her? you'll find six truths that you need to hear when you start comparing yourself to someone else, and feel like you don't measure up.

I have never looked at the story of Rachel and Leah in this light before. I'll certainly never see them the same again! Their story is so full of pain, jealousy and heartbreak, when it didn't have to be! I don't want to ever look at my life and think, "I could've been so much happier, and so free, if I'd only let go of this jealousy sooner!" I'm learning to identify these jealous comparisons when they sneak up on me, and I'm trying to deal with them before they overtake me, like they did those two sisters.

Friend, I want the same for you! How wonderful the world could be if we could all enjoy the blessings that God gives to us, instead of always wanting what someone else has! If we could learn that no one's life is perfect, that we are all struggling on the same road together. If we could learn to be happy for the success of others, instead of feeling those sharp jealousy pangs. Next time I look at someone else and think, "Why her?" I'm going to take a minute to reflect on my own blessings, and find true joy and happiness in my own life.

If you'd like to get a copy of Why Her? 6 Truths We Need to Hear When Measuring Up Leaves Us Falling Behind, click here.



I received an advanced copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my review. All opinions are my own, and a favorable review was not required. This post contains affiliate links.

Awesome Book by Nicki. She is definitely lead by God in her writing.

In this age of social media, comparison can be a huge issue. I think it's a problem that all of us relate to at times so this book has an important message.
In it, Nicki Koziarz shares some of her own battles with comparison, she digs into the biblical story of Rachel and Leah and looks at what we can learn from their struggles with comparing themselves to one another, and she identifies six key truths that can help us gain a better perspective.
Her writing is honest, filled with humour and real-life examples, and always points back to truth. It's an easy and enjoyable read which is both encouraging and challenging, and I'd recommend it for all Christian women, especially those for whom comparison is a struggle.

NIcki Koziarz's conversational writing style makes you feel like your sitting on your coach with a great friend building you up and encouraging you to live as God sees you when you are really getting a powerful message soaked in God's truth! You won't want to put it down! Two of the post dangerous things we can do is isolate ourselves from others and compare ourselves to others and Nicki's words will empower and equip you to let go of comparison!

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

This is a book I’ve been searching for and didn’t know I needed until I read the first sentence and then took a huge sigh. Someone understands my struggle with comparison I have had since I was a young girl. Someone is going to help me work through this. Someone is going to sit me down and tell me it’s time to “Be Honest” with not only myself but with God. This someone is Nicki Koziarz! In her beautifully written book, she helps us by showing us how to turn to God in each and every moment. She also opens up her heart and shares her struggles, her life and her family in such a honest and raw way. Time and time again I would say “she knows exactly how I’m feeling”. Then she takes us through the story in the Old Testament of Leah and Rachel to help us use God wisdom to see that this was an issue that has been around for more than a lifetime. I picked this up and couldn’t put it down. The journey is so beautiful and you turn the last page with a huge sigh and say “I can do this”, “I’m going to be ok”.

Great book by Nicki Koziark. The book highlights six truths spread over twelve chapters. The truths - (1) You need to be honest, (2) See it like it really is, (3) You don't always have to be okay, (4) You didn't do anything wrong, (5) Her gain is not your loss, (6) Let the success of others encourage not discourage you.
So much truth and encouragement within the pages of this book. So many highlighted texts. Using Rachel and Leah as our main examples of discontent, jealousy and "why her", the author walks with us through the lies that we may believe when we see someone else living out the life we desire. She walks us through the truths we need to rise above these lies and gives us resources and tools to fight against the "why her" moments.
The writer's style is relatable and I enjoyed reading every word even when I felt it hammering at my own guilt. The laying out of her own personal struggles without trying to sugar coat or make it look pretty really drew my heart to her and her message.
I have received a new understanding that I am appreciating and tools that I am trying to use in my life. Practical insight and advice that I can really use. This book is a great read.

Have you struggled with comparison and jealousy? It’s not easy to admit, but I have certainly struggled with it most of my life. We all have our struggles with wishing we were more like someone else.

Nicki Koziarz writes in a highly engaging style. She is self-effacing, funny, and vulnerable. She doesn’t hide behind pretenses, and that’s why I like this book so much. I’ve always been fascinated by the dynamics in the biblical account of Leah and Rachel, and Nicki does an excellent job of making their story relevant today.

This book is chock-full of sticky quotes that will help set you free from jealousy. I have page after page of virtual highlights in the Kindle version, and I’m happy to share several with you today!

Becoming transparent about what causes us to compare ourselves to others the most will keep us from needing to compare ourselves to others at all.

We often lose who we are while trying to become someone we aren’t.

Honesty can lead us to quiet places where we seek to understand rather than merely react.

Wisdom helps us move beyond the question, “Why is this happening?” to ask a wiser question: “What can I do about it?”

He exposes us to light because He doesn’t want us to become drowned by deception.

Desiring things isn’t bad, unless our desires become greater than the One who gives desires.

When life breaks us down, we always have two options: bitterness or breakthrough.

Why Her is helping me deal with hidden jealousy I didn’t even know was hiding in my heart. It’s helping me learn the value of contentment right where God has placed me, in this moment, time, and season.

Sign up today to participate in the free Proverbs 31 Ministries’ online Bible study of Why Her, running April 9 through May 18, 2018. I’ve learned so much by participating in the P31 OBS studies, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy this one!

Netgalley generously provided me a free copy of this book. I hope you like it as much as I have!

I didn’t know how much I needed this book, until I was selected to be apart of the launch team for Why Her! God’s timing is perfect in its own way! Nicki uses the story of Leah and Rachel, combined with her own wisdom and life experiences. I love how reading this book was like taking with your closest girlfriend-you know the one, the one that always gives godly wisdom and you can be yourself with-that’s the Nicki a reader experiences while reading this amazing book! I truly can not wait to re-read this book, with the study guide companion-and with my teen(teen version of the SG is available they Proverbs 31 or Lifeway).

“We have to trust God so much that if He doesn’t give it to us, we don’t want it.” -- Nicki Koziarz

The comparison struggle is often a silent one, but Why Her? Gives voice to this aching place in our hearts in the best way. I wasn’t aware of how often I’ve whispered this question until I began reading. Nicki delivers these six truths with compassion and grace, allowing us to see her just as she is and inviting us to come just as we are.
Why Her? is an invitation and a dare to shed the lies comparison has wrapped around us. To boldly cheer her on. To celebrate her without comparing ourselves to her. To find joy in who we are and allow God’s truth to have the final say.

There aren't many books that I can confidently recommend to every woman regardless of stage of life, current circumstances, career, age, etc. but Why Her? is that book! No matter where you currently find yourself, I am more than confident that this book will meet you where you are. It is filled with relatable stories and life-changing Truths that will strike your soul deeply. The message of Why Her? is solidly embedded in God's Truth and His plan of abundant life for you! I wish I could share with you all the quotes that spoke so deeply to my heart, but I'd rather let it speak directly to yours because our hearts are not the same, and the message of this books is powerful and so personal. The one quote I will leave with you is from the final chapter of the book: "Freedom means stepping into the middle of your story, changing it not to look like her but to look like what you believe God has envisioned for you." I pray you will read this book and commit your heart to believing the Truth to be found on it's pages. You will not regret a single page. ~Mallory
*I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

In Why Her Nicki tackles the issue of comparison that many Christian women secretly struggle with. In this very vulnerable book the author takes us through six truths to help women find freedom from the comparison trap. The entire book was very beneficial to me but the truths that impacted me most was “Truth One: You need to be honest, Truth Five: Her Gain is not your lost and Truth Six: Let the success of others encourage, not discourage you.” The author uses the biblical story of Rachel and Leah to help us navigate though walking in freedom from comparison. This book is something that you will want to savor because it’s rich with godly principles and scripture. This book would also be a great study for women’s bible study because the principles are worth sharing and discussing.

This is a well written book not only for adults but for teenagers too. We find ourselves in a world of comparrison especially in this era of social media. Nicki leads us in a bible study of Leah and Rachel that helps you realize that you are loved just the way God made you and you can live free from the trap of comparison.

This book is for every woman, young, old, single, married, divorced, widowed.

Nicki does an amazing job of talking about something we all suffer with Comparison.

She does a great job of digger into the story of Leah and Rachel in the Bible and makes it real for us today.

She shares her stories, and the 6 truths that we can all use to help us remember that God make us just the way we are and we are enough!

I'm not sure when my struggle with comparison began, but I have spent much of my adult life fighting the lies comparison tries to feed me. Comparison has stolen far too many moments of joy from my life. My battle with comparison reached an all time high when it seemed like everyone around me was getting the family of her dreams as I dealt with baby loss and infertility. I wish I had the truths shared within Why Her? back then. If you feel controlled by comparison, making it hard to see the joy in your life as it is, you need to read this book. In a vulnerable, down-to-Earth style, Nicki presents six biblical truths that will help you put comparison in its place and appreciate the road God has you on right now. This book provides practical ways to combat comparison and learn to love the life you have.

I have to be honest I read this book thinking that it might not really apply to me. I am older and the days of comparison with others are behind me. It was such an eye opener. Every chapter peeled back more scriptures and life situations that I need to learn and work on. The story of Rachel and Leah has been dissected and made fresh for me through this book. I am so impressed with Nicki’s transparency. I enjoy reading her books because she is real and open in all that she writes. I love the way she makes scripture pertinent to today’s issues. I recommend this book to all age groups from high school to the “more mature”.

I found Nicki’s book convicting, comforting, inspiring, and thought-changing! As Nicki opens with her own story, it’s as if you are sitting face-to-face talking with her. She makes it so relatable and easy to reflect on your own life and story. The six truths that Nicki covers help to see comparison for what it really is, a battle that can cripple us. I needed this book to help me with my own struggle with comparison. Most often we think those who are younger are the only ones that struggle with comparison. How untrue. As we grow older, our comparisons just become more complicated. I am thankful for Nicki being venerable and transparent to share her own problem with comparison so that others can deal with theirs. As she wraps up the book, she reminds us to be encouraged that God is not finished with us or our stories. We can be encouraged by others successes and know that each of our successes look differently. We can be “settled” as Nicki puts it, without settling for the seed of comparison!