This was an interesting memoir about Melissa Knox's life, and how too much psychoanalysis of every single event involving her family members almost resulting in her family imploding. There was a reason, a consequence, a lesson to be learned from absolutely every event, so much so that family life became a burden and a chore. When divorcing mom is the most sensible and least inhibiting course of action then something must certainly be wrong. While this was quite well written and eye opening at times, I didn't really find that it made for enjoyable reading. I found it to be quite a chore at times. That said, that's only my opinion and I'm sure it most certainly will be to others' taste!!

With this and my last review, I seem to be on a bit of a mental health track, but I assure you it’s complete coincidence. I was sucked in by the promise that “Divorcing Mom” would be humorous, and while it is very well written and engaging, you won’t find much to laugh about.

Melissa is fourteen when she is first sent to Dr. Sternbach, her mother’s psychiatrist. This is New York, don’t you know, and for decades (and perhaps still) it was stereotypical that at some point, as a New Yorker, you would go to therapy. If there was no discernible reason, the shrink would surely find something wrong with you. What is wrong with Melissa is her parents’ sham of a marriage, orchestrated and dominated by “Aunt Berkeley”, her father’s therapist and muse. Dad is an abusive alcoholic, mom is an overly naive narcissist with masochistic tendencies. Melissa’s younger brother escapes from this setting by embarking on a course of substance abuse and truancy early on. All Melissa wants to do is dance, but soon she is informed by Dr. Sternbach that dance merely serves as a replacement for the sex she so obviously craves and as an outlet for her need for attention.

Through high school, college and beyond, Sternbach directs every aspect of Melissa’s life, dangling her pathetic mother in front of her like a Virgin Mary to be emulated. Her only confidante is her cousin Ceci. But when adult Melissa learns of her own mother’s abuse at the hands of her grandfather, this fragile alliance proves to be built on shaky ground.

I’m not sure why the book stuck with the title “Divorcing Mom” since every effort Melissa makes to do so is thwarted quickly and effectively by her psychiatrist. Only well into her grown years can she finally emancipate herself and find the distance she needs to maintain her relationship and her sanity.

“Divorcing Mom” is a shocking insight into a different kind of abuse, perpetrated by a professional who seems to care very little about his patients’ well-being, as long as he can be in total control. If psychology and mental health are of interest to you, I recommend you give this a read.

“Divorcing Mom” is published by Cynren Press. I received an ARC via Netgalley. All opinions are entirely my own.

Following her enrollment at a summer camp program, 14 year old Melissa Knox was severely depressed and unable to speak or leave the house. The counseling staff notified her parents of her compulsive and inappropriate topics of sex and masochism, and Knox was placed in therapy with Dr. Oscar Sternbach ; a Viennese psychoanalyst that escaped the Holocaust, and maintained a practice in upper Manhattan.. In “Divorcing Mom: A Memoir of Psychoanalysis” Knox shared her compelling and troubling story about her shocking psychoanalysis and the extreme family and parental dysfunction that led her to treatment that continued for two decades.

In the introduction, by Jeffrey Masson PhD. the author of several books, that discredit what he calls the “authoritarianism inherent in psychoanalysis”. Most therapy takes place in private offices and is usually confidential. Not all analysists are ethical; in fact, some are completely “unhinged” according to Masson. This was clearly obvious regarding Dr. Sternbach in the case of Knox: he insisted that only his views of her and/or any situations were correct, he threatened, manipulated the facts with untruths and outrageous lies, he often intimated Knox by yelling, name calling, and aggressively pounding his fists on nearby objects. Knox was solely blamed for the poor relationship she had with her clueless, neglectful, (artist) mother, who was paying for her therapy. Masson pointed out the Sternbach had no interest in Knox’s reality, and wanted complete control of her life. It was also interesting to note that Steinbach was never questioned by others or censored by his peers.
The story alternated somewhat between past and present time periods, the narrative was from the viewpoint of a confused deeply troubled Knox as a teen and young adult, to the married educated professional that she eventually became. Knox was highly intelligent, studied at Colombia University, and earned a PhD. in English.. It wasn’t surprising that Knox's advanced educational study took about ten years. Understandably, her healing process also took a longer amount of time, considering her dependency on Dr. Sternbach.

Freudian psychoanalysis is no longer taught in psychological programs or course work at American colleges and universities. The reasons Knox didn’t discontinue her treatment and file a malpractice lawsuit against Dr. Sternbach were connected to her lack of self-esteem, confidence, and inability to get well. Without any stable or meaningful support from her family or others, the odds were piled against her right from the start. While this is an unsettling read, it is an important book that not only illustrates the downfall of unchecked psychoanalysis, but the necessity and value of healthy family relationships for growth and development. ~ 3.5* GOOD. **With thanks and appreciation to Cynren Press via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.

Divorcing Mom is a bizarre book. I didn't not like it at all. There is no introduction to the author, readers are plunged into her strange story. The chapters are rambling recollections with no cohesion. The author spent years with a therapist who did more damage than anything else. What was the purpose of this book?

Sadly I really did not enjoy this book. I found the topic quite dark and disturbing it was intense. Sorry not for me.
Thank you Cyhren Press and NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.

I was pretty disturbed by this book throughout. At times I thought, “This is the strangest memoir I’ve ever read”. Melissa Knox resells memories of growing up with a clearly mentally unstable mother, being a victim of sexual abuse, incest, and neglect. This memoir was more than Melissa “divorcing mom”. It describes years of improper psychoanalysis, to which she eventually realizes.

While there were times I came across a particularly profound internal thought shared by Melissa, I did not look forward to reading more, nor do I recommend this book to others. If the intention was to disturb the reader, I would say this book was successful at doing so..

While this memoir may be interesting to a psychology student, I don’t recommend this book for the average consumer reader.

Thank you to Cynren Press and NetGalley for my e-book copy of Divorcing Mom by Melissa Knox.