Cover Image: How to Make Friends with the Dark

How to Make Friends with the Dark

Pub Date:   |   Archive Date:

Member Reviews

What. A. Book. Packed with emotion, How to Make Friends with the Dark is a hard to read novel that gives us a raw, messy, and relatable look at grief. When I picked this novel up I thought I knew what I was getting myself into since I had previously read, and loved, Kathleen Glasgow’s debut Girl in Pieces, but I wasn’t completely prepared. Glasgow does a service to her readers by not holding anything back, instead choosing to take us deep into Tiger’s mind as she begins to try and figure out how to live a life she never expected.

While I have never been in a situation remotely like Tiger’s, there were still pieces of the story I was able to relate to. After the death of her mother, Tiger decides to exclusively wear the dress her mom had bought her for an upcoming school dance. She refuses to wear anything else until eventually the dress becomes smelly and begins to fall apart. Other ways she finds to cope is through self-harm and unhealthy eating habits. These were all things I experienced in my own way after the death of my nana in 2010.

All of the characters were great. Not a single one of them was perfect, but you could tell how much they were all trying their best to handle the ridiculous hands that were being dealt to them. I especially loved Tiger’s best friend Cake. It was so plain to see how out of her element Cake was, but she refused to leave Tiger’s side and stood by her even when it was difficult. She forgave when Tiger would lash out in grief and anger and apologized when she said things she shouldn’t have due to a lack of understanding. Glasgow also included LGBTQIAP+ rep in two of the side characters. I don’t remember it ever being explicitly stated what they identify as, but one of the girls does have a girlfriend and the other says she’s into girls and boys.

My only real issue with this story was the pacing. This is a book that’s on the longer end and I feel like it didn’t entirely need to be. For the first maybe 60% things moved very slowly. Once I got past this point though the pace picked up a little and moved along at a more satisfying rate. During the slow bits, I would find myself starting to zone out a little and get bored, but it was never to the point where I was tempted to put the book down and not finish it. Though I wish the pace had been consistently good throughout the entire novel, it’s still worth reading and pushing through.

Usually, when I read something, there will maybe be one line, if any, that jumps out at me enough to the point I want to make a note of it. This novel was an exception though as it had several impactful quotes. I kept reading sentences that really hit me and made me read them over and over again before continuing. There was also mention of Taylor Swift’s song Style which we all know completely made my day.

How to Make Friends with the Dark really is a can’t miss read. Tiger’s story demands to be told and it deserves to be known. What she goes through is a reality that many teens face, and I really believe that this book has the ability to help a lot of people process the grief they are experiencing and figure out where to go from here.
Was this review helpful?
I can’t stop thinking about this book. It is stunning, exquisite and so very beautiful. I laughed and cried and sometimes got very angry. Grace, who prefers to be known as Tiger, has lost her mother and she is only sixteen. Her mother dies suddenly from a brain aneurysm. As far as she knows, Tiger has no other family. So of course she ends up in a foster home. This is a book about grief, loss and coping. It is also very realistic about the foster care system.I loved Tiger. It truly is a book about how to make friends with the dark. It is also about ways to begin to let the light back in. A truly beautiful book. This book has been added to my list of ‘best ever books’.
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Was this review helpful?
This was heart-wrenching to read. Tiger has to endure so much and deals with many things that young children shouldn't have to deal with. The reader is given a bird's-eye view into the harsh reality of Tiger's world. It was powerful, expressive, and a reminder of how one lives in the dark, and how they need to come out into the light.
Was this review helpful?
This was a fairly good book. I read it while I was in the tub and I didn't want to put it down! Its fairly relatable which made it easier to read, the names of the characters are really cool too, slightly reminiscent of The Outsiders.
Was this review helpful?
Thank you, NetGalley for an E-ARC of this book. 

Kathleen Glasgow brings Tiger Tolliver to life by reminding you of how empty and alone you felt when you lost the person closest to you. She will make you think about how justified Tiger is in the way she is grieving and then suddenly remind you that mental health can often be overlooked by the person grieving.

There are moments that the story seems to drag, or things are repeated, but this review is based on an ARC.

The ending came fast and I wish there was more backstory on her family. Further elaboration of the situation in Hawaii would have allowed for me to feel better connected to certain characters, however, it is important, as the reader, to remember that the story being told is Tiger's. 

 This book will make you want to call your mom, just to tell her you love her.
Was this review helpful?
Kathleen Glasgow is such an amazing writer! She draws the reader into the story in such a way that you truly feel the characters pain. Tiger is such a complex character. You will feel her pain as she travels on this horrific journey of loss. Another amazing read!  I suggest you not read this poignant story of loss and resilience when you are feeling down. It definitely could take you down the rabbit hole. If you are a fan of young adult writing and dark complex character then this book is definitely for you! Happy reading!
Was this review helpful?
I don't think my emotions were ready for this book. I expected it to be sad going on considering I did read the synopsis, but man did it hit me hard. I thought the author's first book was good but this one showed a lot of growth in her writing, character development, and making her readers really connect to the story. I did get all of that in the first book as well but this was dialed up to 11.
Was this review helpful?
Having read Glasgow’s heart-wrecking debut, Girl In Pieces, I had an inkling that perhaps her second novel would be another emotional rollercoaster. What I didn’t know is just how much of a wild, heart-breaking ride this would be. Last year, I finally got around to reading White Oleander (about a girl who goes into foster care once her mom is sent to prison for murder), so when Tiger’s mom dies, and she goes to foster care all I can think is, “OH NO BAD THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN NOW!” Because some crazy shit went down in White Oleander that made me grateful that I never had to be a foster child, but at the same time made me feel extremely sorry for those poor kids who do end up becoming wardens of the state. And although I had only known Tiger for a couple of pages, I instantly liked her and was fearful of her future without her mother.

The prose in this book is amazingly STUNNING, even when events happen that leave you feeling like you’re repeatedly getting sucker punched with the most horrible reality. The author has a way of writing that makes grief and despair appear simultaneously poetic and yet very harsh. This book doesn’t lull you with a false sense of security, instead, it pulls the rug out from under your feet making you fall painfully hard. This book isn’t for those who are looking for a casual YA because other than the protagonist being a teen, a lot of the tough reality of life wasn’t glossed over nor sugar-coated. Glasgow wants you to see how difficult it can be to lose the only person you have in life, even if that reality makes you feel uncomfortable at times.

This book will make you feel in ways you didn’t think you were capable of feeling. It will also absolutely shatter your heart to pieces. Not to mention that ugly crying will be in your near future once you pick up this novel. You’ve been warned. But it’s well worth it.
Was this review helpful?
Silent tears streamed down my face throughout much of this book. The realistic view of grief is the center crux. Tiger doesn't become a superhero. She doesn't overcome her mother's death like it's nothing. She doesn't become a sordid tale of the underbelly of the foster system. What she does is paint a portrait of grief that will have readers relating to her and feeling for her. 
Reading this book left me feeling like I had been dragged through the desert. I was raw and emotional. I felt beat up. It's been awhile since I felt that from a book.
Ultimately, I recommend this for anyone who is open to accepting another person's trauma as their own, enjoys realistic fiction, and doesn't want something shiny and pretty.
Was this review helpful?
How to Make Friends with the Dark is a book that will wring your heart out. It's always been Tiger and her mother. Even if she's a little overprotective and the struggle of her family and poverty, it's hers. Until the day her mother dies and Tiger's life is changed forever - throwing her into the foster care system until they can find a more permanent solution. 

Above all what kept me reading How to Make Friends with the Dark is Tiger and her grief. At times I needed to step away from this book because of how emotional it was making me. We feel the depths of Tiger's grief, the way she feels separated from the world around her - a girl in a jar. And throughout the book, we witness Tiger processing the complicated relationship she had with her mother, their last fight, and how to move on without her.
Was this review helpful?
This book was devastating. Kathleen Glasgow really took you inside Tiger’s head and made you feel all the pain and grief she was feeling. It was extremely well written and compelling. All the characters leapt off the pages.
Was this review helpful?
Great story about overcoming and great for teaching teens about mental health and what it looks like to go through that. Would recommend to any teen looking for contemporary books and teens that like the hate you give
Was this review helpful?
Kathleen Glasgow is a genius. Once again she’s written a book that hits every emotion. It’s a roller coaster ride. 

She writes grief like no other. And while I’m not someone who’s ever had to live in the system, I imagine this is exactly what it’s like. 

And as Tiger deals with her depression, I couldn’t help but feel for her. And the moving. It’s rough, especially with an older child. 

I loved that there was enough humorous moments that allowed me a laugh or two. 

But mostly, I love her brutal honesty in dealing with mental health. A lot of authors skim details or the person is “fixed” through a relationship—or some other nonsense. Glasgow doesn’t shy away from the realities and doesn’t make excuses or apologies. She hits it head on. And for that, we should all be grateful. 

I’m sure this will be a quiet favorite of mine for years to come.
Was this review helpful?
This book was a LOT to take. It is exquisitely written, in my opinion, to give a small glimpse into the trials that are faced by youths who are placed in--and out--and in the foster system while also struggling to come to terms with whatever has caused them to be forfeited to the state in the first place.  It is a heartbreaking world that so many of us know nothing about, and I hope this story gives those who are in this situation a sense of being seen and teaches the rest of us to extend empathy to those living in this nightmare.
Was this review helpful?
An incredibly beautiful and heart-wrenching story about love and loss. 
I'm not normally the type of person to read books I would deem "sad", I prefer more lighthearted reads, but this one gripped me from the very start and didn't let go.
Was this review helpful?
This book tugged at my heartstrings like no other book has! The raw emotion of Tiger was so powerful I definitely teared up more than once. Losing a parent is never easy, but losing the only guardian you have is tragic! I absolutely voted for this novel to win the next Indigo Staff pick and am hoping it gets the votes!
Was this review helpful?
Tiger is so excited that Kai asked her to go to the Memorial Days dance with him, their major crush on each other has gotten more intense as they became lab partners in biology. There’s just one problem: her overprotective mother, June, may not let her go. Tiger takes a stand for herself and adamantly insists she will be going, starting a fight she and her mom will never recover from. That afternoon, June dies suddenly of a brain aneurysm. BAM. Just like that, Tiger’s world is foggy and distorted, and all she is left with is a Grand Canyon sized empty hole in her chest.  She has never known her father’s name, Child Protective Services will not let her stay with her best friend, Cake’s, family, and she can’t believe the last words she will ever say to her mother were as horrible as they were. Everyone deals with grief in their own way, and Tiger, who has never sipped alcohol, smoked marijuana, or even gone farther than kissing with a boy, is about to embark on the saddest year of her life, while her classmates are living the best years of theirs. Her normal has been stolen, snatched, and it’s never coming back. Glasgow’s second novel is a triumph; no doubt equal parts brilliant & beautiful writing, coupled with her own experiences of foster care and grief. A must read for YA lovers (anyone, actually), particularly those who loved Rainbow Rowell’s Eleanor & Park as much as I did. Have tissues-will cry. (The deep sobbing kind.)

Quotes I loved~

“It’s nice to lean back, and to breathe, and look up at the stars, which I feel like we always forget to do, you know?” ~Tiger

“Thanks for the tip, but I’m not really Thelma, or Louise. I’m kind of a dork, prone to elaborate fantasizing, and I don’t know the first thing about running away.” ~Tiger

“And sometimes the lights just go out. We don’t know why, because as much as we study and study and study, the universe is always smarter than we are. There will always be unknowable things and we have to make peace with that.” ~Dr. Matthews

“Mae-Lynn and I sit in the car, not saying anything, watching everyone else have the best years of their lives. Someday, when people ask us about high school, and dances, and kisses, and all that stuff, I know that what we’ll remember most of all is how normal was stolen from us.”

“…sometimes you have to open your heart to the miraculous.” ~Teddy

“I think about what those…guys said. You must go on. I can’t go on. You must go on. Because what other choice is there, really? You have to make friends with the dark.” ~Tiger

“How to Make Friends with the Dark is, above all, a book about grief. This is a book about learning how to go on, about finding your way in the dark.” ~Kathleen Glasgow
Was this review helpful?
Glasgow weaves a story that is completely honest, heartbreaking, and yet surprisingly loving to its main character. It's impossible to not love Tiger and support her through her journey. However, the amount of punches eventually get a bit hard to take, so the book becomes an exercise in sympathy - and patience.
Was this review helpful?
Amazing! Couldn't put it down! Be sure to add this book to your TBR list because it will create chills that you would not expect to have.
Was this review helpful?
“How to Make Friends with the Dark” had me staying up later than I should’ve, heart aching for Tiger. The scope of her grief was palpable, and her relationships with those around her were heartbreakingly realistic.
Was this review helpful?