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The Art of Leaving

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Member Reviews

Such an insightful memoir on culture, religion, & relationships. Highlighted so many fantastic quotes!

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What a smart, captivating piece of writing. It is filled to the Brim with metaphors that really make you think. The author creates sharp images that stick with the reader with little to no fluff and is straight forward, razor sharp. It offered me a lot of introspection and I am grateful.

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I'm always looking for memoirs that will shine a light on ordinary people's lives who are different than me and The Art of Leaving is one of those. Tsabari has experienced a lot in her life and she shares this with us in tidbits and memories. Recommend for anyone memoir lover.

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I wanted to enjoy this book for the story it was telling, but did not enjoy it at all. It felt long and I kept getting annoyed with the author.

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I couldn't really get into this book and didn't finish. The concept was fine but I didn't really relate to the main character at all.

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Tsabari's intriguing memoir about her life from her youth in Israel then moving to North America is such a beautiful and readable tale of life in a different culture from my own. This exposed me to religious differences, ethnic differences and racial differences. It also is fascinating to explore reasons behind why families decide to immigrate from one country to another at a given time. This is an important book for the current climate we are in politically globally. It is somewhat reminiscent of the recent released book "A Woman Is No Man" by Etaf Rum. If you liked her book, then this one is for you as well.

#TheArtOfLeaving #NetGalley

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'The Art of Leaving' is an amazing book. It brings you into a fascinating world of clashing cultures, new experiences, and the relationships we create with our mothers and women in our lives. Her vivid style of writing drew me into stories about her upbringing and her family's traditions, and her journeys gave new meaning to the words 'family' and 'home'.

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The Art of Leaving by Ayelet Tsabri is a beautiful memoir written as a collection of essays by an Israeli Mizrahi. It starts with the death of her father at age 9 and continues as she grows and goes to Canada and India and finally home to Israel. This book however is not linear in its stories. I absolutely fell in love and can't wait to read more from this author.

I would like to thank Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a copy free of charge. This is my honest and unbiased opinion of it.

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Interesting tale of a young naive girl growing up in Israel and joining the IDF. Geared towards college age readers

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To be honest, so much of this book read like a novel; I had to keep reminding myself that this was a memoir! Told in short stories, each chapter can stand alone, yet they ultimately all weave together to tell Tsabari's fuller story.
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Tsabari is an Jewish-Yemeni whose father suddenly dies when she's 10-years-old. Because of her father's death, she has always felt a sense of displacement in the world. After completing two mandatory years with the Isreal Defense Forces, she leaves her home country and embarks on a journey all around the world - the US, Canada, India, and Europe. While traveling, she continually meditates on themes of grief, home, belonging, and relationships, which later becomes the same themes of this book.
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Tsabari's writing is lyrical, poetic, and so relatable. Her use of metaphors is perfectly executed, painting a vivid picture in the reader's mind. While her life experiences are not relevant to my personal experiences in any way, her writing made me feel like I had experienced some of these things firsthand. I loved learning about life in Tel Aviv - an area of the world I have little understanding of. I had not previously heard of Tsabari, but I've since learned she a very prolific writer. I'm definitely interested in reading another of her essay collections, THE BEST PLACE ON EARTH: STORIES.
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I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It has stuck with me since I finished it. If you love memoir and themes of displacement and grief, then I'd highly recommend giving this book a shot!

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I first heard of Ayelet Tsabari last year, when she was Writer in Residence at the Toronto Reference library. I enjoyed this book, which is a memoir of the author’s life-to-date, from growing up near Tel Aviv, to her travels abroad, to making a home in Toronto. The author has a gift for describing places—whether it’s army barracks, Goan beaches, or the Tel Aviv of her childhood—and vividly conveyed sense of the Jewish-Yemeni culture. She also uses deliciously apt metaphors, ones that perfectly evoke the thing being described. Take this example from the second page:

From there you can see rain-soaked buildings with protruding balconies, their flat white roofs crowded with crooked antennas, water tanks, and gleaming solar panels. Kids sit on window ledges and dangle legs through metal bars, and strings of colorful laundry smile under the windows.

My favourite chapters—“In My Dreams We Hug Like Grown-ups Do,” “A Simple Girl”, “You and What Army”, and “Not for the Faint-Hearted”—were the ones about her youth and her family. The stories about her grandmother and great-grandmother are particularly interesting, and I wanted to know more, while at the same time appreciating the way the author acknowledged that there are things you can’t know about the past; that acknowledgement gave the later chapters a sense of poignancy—the sense of unsolvable mysteries that are part of every family history. I loved “You and What Army,” the story of the author’s compulsory 2-year service in the IDF—I wish that chapter could be a whole book. The rest of the book is beautifully written, but in that chapter, the author’s personality really comes out. I laughed out loud at her description of the gate-keeper job and empathized with her feeling of wasting time at something that wasn’t meaningful to her, and I again wanted to know more. The chapter was just so spirited, I wish the rest of the book had had the same spark and humour. Still, I find myself thinking about a lot about this book--it has stayed with me.

Overall, I’m really happy to have discovered Ayelet Tsabari and look forward to reading more of her work in the future.

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The stories are really captivating- personal - relatable - and totally enjoyable. A rich memoir with lots of food for thought. I’m definitely looking forward to her next book.

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The Art of Leaving is an excellent coming-of-age memoir! Ayelet left her home in Tel Aviv for the first time at age 21 after completing her time in the Israel Defense Forces. At odds with her identity, she sought to leave and reinvent herself. She traveled the world for almost 10 years, and leaving began to feel natural. After returning to Israel a few times, she began to examine the identity that she once rejected, and discovered a family history untold.

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I’ve fallen in love with Ayelet Tsabari. In the “I want her to be my best friend because she reminds me of me and therefore would totally get me” kind of way. The Art of Leaving is Ayelet Tsabari’s collection of personal essays, starting around the death of her father when she was 9, and moving on through her two years in the IDF, her extensive travels and life abroad, relationships, love, family: her musings on life in her beautiful voice.

I felt like I was coming home when I started this book. The writing is beautiful, full of metaphors, and because I related to so much of it I felt like I was curling up on the couch with a very old friend. The way that Ayelet Tsabari describes the Arava desert and the feelings she gets when arriving in Eilat reminded me of my own; her descriptions of different places in India, of NYC, LA… So much of it felt like home, or at least some place that could have been home for me for a while.

Losing one’s father early in life has lifelong effects that shape lives, decisions, and even thoughts. I know because it happened to me too. Obviously my life is not the same as Ayelet Tsabari’s, we grew up in very different places, in different families, different cultures, but there are many places where our lives could have interlocked, ships bumping into each other while crossing oceans. Growing up feeling like I didn’t belong somewhat, immigrant, lost, found, sister, girlfriend, carer, holder of secrets until death… I have been writing essays and poems about my home(s) for so many years, holding them close to my heart, and it was so inspiring to read someone else’s stories of home, of leaving, someone else’s wanderings.

I also learned a lot from the author about growing up Mizrahi in Israel. It cleared up some questions I had about certain words/actions/reactions I noticed on and off between employees during my time working on the kibbutz in Israel. It made sense a long time afterwards, but I feel I was very naïve at the time… In any case it makes me happy to read Israel from perspectives and people who are underrepresented.

I now need to jump on Ayelet Tsabari’s first publication, The Best Place On Earth, because as I said above, I have fallen in love with her writing and the way she describes her world, our world. Also, I feel terribly homesick now for my home that will never be my home Israel, and for my home that will always be my home NYC.

Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for the advance copy. Thanks to Ayelet Tsabari for the beautiful words, for the inspiration, and for all of the memories that this book drew from my soul.

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Ayelet Tsabari has written a beautiful memory of her life story. One can almost smell the delicious foods her mother makes ( and later which she, too , makes). After losing her father at age 10, she grieves her family’s loss by traveling to many countries and experiencing a wide variety of cultures. Underlying themes of loss, independence, fear of commitment and seeking meaning in her life bring the reader on a globe trotting, heart warming adventure.
TheArtOfLeaving #NetGalley
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The Art of Leaving struck me as being a woman version of On the Road, except the Tsabari tells infinitely better stories than Kerouac does, and her story contains a profoundness that I just never found within Kerouac's work. Tsabari goes in-depth with recounting her life, leaving bare all the struggles and hurts she's had with her father's death, the oppression she felt since a small child living in Israel as a Mizrahi Jewish person, and her endless search for a place where she could stay for longer than a year or two.

This book is emotional and is the best type of memoir where you feel as though you're hanging out with the author, hearing her tell you stories from her life. While some were extremely far from my own field of reference--in which case I enjoyed learning more about how different people live in different places--others were all too relatable and familiar and made me reflect on my own life after reading. One of my favorite moments is when Tsabari is trying to get her grandmother to recount family stories; her grandmother was a fierce, strong woman (much like Tsabari herself). The life stories she shares are gripping, and I am in awe of Tsabari's whole family for what they've gone through and the cheer and contentment they have found for themselves (that includes the author as well)!

Aside from the profundity of the stories, the level of humor within the book is what kept me turning those pages. The main difference, really, between Tsabari and Kerouac is that Tsabari is able to take a look at herself and laugh--she doesn't take herself too seriously, and her recollections about her stubbornness and bold adventures have a hint of laughter to them, which I absolutely loved. This created a nice balance within the narrative itself; a lot of the stories are serious and heartbreaking, but they're sprinkled in with some fun stories or fun moments, and this creates a wholly realized reflection on life that is so satisfying and readable.

This book is everything; it contains complex explorations and thoughts about growing up, becoming an adult, and finding yourself; experiences that anyone can relate to. And it is BEAUTIFULLY written. Tsabari is a rockstar writer, truly. The way she crafts sentences is beyond compare, and there were quite a few times when I just had to pause reading this to soak in the way she conveyed an image or a thought. If you're at all a fan of memoir, I highly recommend this to you. It's a wonderful read.

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This memoir is by an Israeli who lived in several countries and tells of her emotional journal. The book is very smart. It didn’t knock my socks off, like the author’s collection of short stories, The Best Place on Earth, did. Ah, but never mind-- there’s a full Joy Jar, lots of shout-outs. Yes, of course there are some complaints, but the joys outnumbered them.
Joy Jar

-Metaphors galore. And I mean good ones. The author gets an A-plus in this department—just wow. She seems to do it with an economy of words, no fluff, and the images form instantly, sharp in your mind. There’s atmosphere out the ying-yang. Get a load of these sentences:

“It’s April and cool for the season, the breeze a thin, silky scarf. The sky is the color of white linen that was accidentally laundered with a blue sock.”

“The sky is mucky and grey, an ashtray left on a rainy porch.”

“Lights burn yellow holes in the dark buildings.”

-She’s a total bad ass. I don’t know why, but when a person come across as a very serious writer, you aren’t expecting a wild child who smokes cigarettes and has carried an Uzi (she did mandatory military service). You just don’t. There are many wild stories, but no need for me to ruin the surprise. I just loved the bad-ass parts, and they reminded me of her fantastic short story collection.

-Loved the introspection. There is a lot of interior emotions and self-examination, which I adore. I liked her struggle to become a writer. The drive to write was always a part of her, sometimes buried deep, and getting there took a while.

-Loved her adventures and chronicle of her relationships. She makes everything juicy but in a quiet way. She had one traumatic thing happen to her, which was harrowing.

-Loved to visit different continents. The author went back and forth between Israel and Canada many times, trying to find home. She also did a long stint in India. Her life in the different countries was fascinating.

A great sentence about how you feel on landing in a foreign country:

“Everything was coated with the surreal haze that followed extended air travel, tinged with strangeness and fatigue, the inconceivability of being here, now.”

-A woman in search of a home. She was constantly trying to figure out why she liked to leave instead of stay, and she had interesting ideas about the concept of home.

“As a roving twenty-something, I enjoyed toying with the idea of home as if it was a fluid negotiable term, a mental RV, a headspace.”

-I’m a complete wuss; please don’t sting me! I’m not going to lie--I was unchy and afraid when I saw there was an entire chapter about hornets. Can I help it that I have a bee phobia? I blame my mother, who went running around the yard screaming every time she saw one. Anyway, I loved this chapter even though I was biting my nails half the time and looking out furtively for hornets.

-Liked learning about Jews from Yemen who live in Israel. Fascinating culture, and the author chronicles it well. Jews from Yemen are treated as inferior by other Jews in Israel, and this prejudice affects her deeply.

Complaint Board

-How am I supposed to give a hoot? I appreciate (and usually tear up) when I hear tributes for people I’ve known and loved, and famous people I’ve liked. The author spends a lot of time talking about her dad and his greatness. He seriously sounds like a cool man, but her praise goes on and on and is monotonous and meaningless to me since I didn’t know him. Way too much on daddy-poo. Sorry. (I know, I know, I sound callous, but can I help it that I’ve ingested some truth serum?)

-Just too much about family traditions and history. I know I said I liked the culture part, but there was too much talk of her heritage and traditions. It became a snooze, especially compared to her relationships and adventures, which showed a brazen, rebellious, and overall wild chick. There were also too many relatives to keep track of. The last chapters were especially heritage-centric.

-Give me more adventure. The metaphors were truly great, but they require work. Drama and dialogue are my thing.

-Can we stay out of the kitchen? Pretty please… I don’t cook, so describing how the author’s mother makes food doesn’t turn me on. Nor does a wholesome hang-out session in the kitchen. There’s a whole (what felt like a long) chapter on recipes! Many details of ingredients. (And way too much cilantro!) A mom who is Betty Crocker, even though she’s an exotic one, bores me to tears and makes me want to go out back and chug some beer—and I don’t even drink beer. I did find myself not totally hating the chapter, only because Tsabari is such a skilled writer she can get away with it—a little. Here’s a great sentence about her cooker mom:

“She disappeared into the kitchen, became one with the appliances. Food replaced her words; cooking became her currency.”

The author probably could write about a phone book and I’d be happy. Still, I’m in a snit about the whole recipe thing. It was supposed to be very yum yum but instead it was a big ho hum.

-Motherhood, oh dear. I wasn’t impressed with her thoughts about motherhood, which has nothing to do with the merit of the book. It’s just that sometimes we like to relate. I’m going to stay mum re mum-land in case you want to read this book.

And to sum up…
I would have liked the whole book to be just about her adventures, relationships, and self-analysis, which reminded me of her rich short stories. But her language and metaphors are just brilliant, so even the boring parts weren’t bad.

I’m in awe that the author can write so beautifully in English, since Hebrew is her native language. (Funny, my last book was set in Israel too—an excellent novel called Holy Lands.) I look forward to Tsabari’s next book of short stories or other fiction. Final word: Not enough people know about this great writer. Check her out!

Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy.

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The Art of Leaving is about the author's wanderings. She drifted from her home in Israel to I did, to Canada, and back again. I think she was searching for her own story set in the midst of her family history. She lost her father when was only 9 and sort of drifted for a few years. Eventually she settled into a career of writing, began her own family and then chose to commit her family's history to paper. It was an Interesting memoir, although in some parts my attention did wane.

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I fell head over heals the first time I read “The Best Place on Earth”, by Ayelet Tsabari. The collection of short stories each stands alone - but the themes blend together — life in Israel, ( society, culture, night life, customs, the military, the treat of living with violence, identity, relationships between lovers, family, and friends), Israelis who migrated to Canada, with a focus on Mizrahi and Yemeni Jews. Each story so personal - the characters come alive.
The stories are really captivating- personal - relatable - and totally enjoyable.
Many months later, our local book club loved these stories, too.


“The Art of Leaving”, - essays - is Ayelet’s memoir.
Her essays blend together in the same way her short stories did in “The Best Place on Earth”. Themes center around growing up: childhood. adolescence, and young adult.
Her book is divided into three sections: HOME, LEAVING, & RETURN. Within these sections - are individual stories representing stages & ages of Ayelet’s life.

This was ‘tons’ more enjoyable than I was expecting. I saw this book on Netgalley - early- but didn’t jump to read it.
Many thanks to Esil ( her review is wonderful), for being my ‘jump-to-it ‘ inspiration.
I had justified my ‘waiting’.....( maybe our Jewish book club will read it later?/!
Point is I had forgotten how incredibly personal - raw - touching - and sparklingly enjoyable it is to read Ayelet’s prose.

Moving - funny at times - soulful - tender - unique personal colorful stories ( yet of her stories I definitely hooked onto closely and related. Ayelet lost her father to death at age 10. I was 4 when my dad died.
But those questions that remained with Ayelet her entire life growing up without a father - are the same questions - I’ve lived with too.

Ayelet’s father died during the night when she was sleeping - (same for me).
I related to this except .....(she wrote words that fit exactly what I went through, too)
“I will sleep an entire night ignorant of that loss, and the next morning, I will wake up still knowing, un-orphaned ( and for the first few weeks after his death, every morning will begin with the same blissful amnesia before I am hijacked by remembering”).

After the horrible news ..... Ayelet says:
“That moment, crystallized in my memory through the fog of grief, will be the fork in the road where my future splits in two: what could have happened had he lived and what happened because he didn’t. And as they grow up, I will try to live as wildly and loudly as I can to outdo the enormity of this moment, to diminish it”.
WOW! Thank you Ayelet Tsabari!!!

Ayelet’s personal journey continued to sneak up on me and by the time I got to the end -( she lives her life with gusto), I was wishing to know her more.....as in hang out!

I’ll never hesitate agin about reading Ayelet’s books. This woman can write!!!

Thank you Random House, Netgalley, and Ayelet Tsabari

P.S. I share the say May 24th birthday with Ayelet 🎂

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A fascinating memoir of a complicated life; and a people group (Yemeni Jews), whom I knew little about. I very much enjoyed The Art of Leaving.

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