Marriage that Works (Baker, 2020) is a superb book containing a number of practical suggestions from real life challenges. From a pastoral perspective, Chip Ingram and his wife, Theresa, share their journey of building a marriage based on biblical principles in a culture that resists, even criticizes, God's design for marriage and family.

Ingram covers both the male and female responsibilities as husband and wife, demonstrating in real-to-life ways the unique God-given differences between the genders and how they are designed to complement each other in marriage and parenting. Without being rigid, Ingram clearly and unapologetically articulates an marriage and parenting philosophy reflecting Scriptures' teaching. As a pastor, he encounters and counsels various challenges for couples and speaks with wisdom and experience.

For these reasons, the final two chapters were even more disappointing. It was strange to find the definition of marriage covenant at the end of the book, though it did seem appropriate. Yet this strong biblical definition of marriage was followed by a disappointing explanation of covenant intermingling strong and weak biblical observations. After so much excellent content and application, this was a frustrating end to an otherwise superb marriage book written from someone who has modeled this personally.

Despite this disappointing ending,, I would recommend this book for any married couple or for a small group study as discussion questions are provided at the end of each chapter.

Note: This book was provided to the reviewer at no cost in exchange for an unbiased blog review through the Baker Books Bloggers program.

Marriage That Works is a book that looks at giving couples an idea of what a Biblical-based marriage should look like, The chapters are mainly divided between what a husband should learn and what a wife should learn. He occasionally brings his wife into the book to tell the topic from her perspective. I think he should have done that more in the sections about wives. While it's a good overall book, it doesn't deal with the nitty gritty parts of marriage life. In the end, he describes how to tackle some of the hard parts of marriage, but it's actually the hard seasons that every marriage will go through when they have children. The book lacked a lot of practical examples and advice and could have dug deeper about what to do during the times when marriage does get hard - bad communication, selfishness, infidelity, faith struggles, etc.

Valuable message for any Christian marriage.

Author Chip Ingram’s book, Marriage That Works, stems from his own 30-plus year marriage. He mixes his personal experiences and growth with Bible references and scriptures to create a marriage guide for today’s Christian couples.

With a basis of marriage as defined in Ephesians 5:21-33, Ingram lays the foundation for what a biblical marriage entails. Ingram tackles the word ‘submission’ – the word that makes many modern-day women cringe. The marital roles of women and men are described using the brilliant and effective analogy of dance partners – equal, yet different.

The call to love our spouse with Godly, sacrificial agape love sets the bar high. That is the unconditional choice to give another person what he/she needs when they deserve it least and at great personal cost.
Living a biblical marriage requires a concerted effort on the part of both husband and wife and requires God to be at the center. The second half of Marriage That Works describes the actual How-Tos for both wives and husbands. It addresses what living a biblical marriage looks like and the specific actions that each spouse can (and should) take to attain it.

Having a good marriage is an ever-evolving process and having a Godly marriage is no different. Marriage That Works God’s Way of Becoming Spiritual Soulmates, Best Friends, and Passionate Lovers is a good guide for those seeking this goal.

How this book affected me:
My marriage is blessed, but we also have normal daily struggles. This book helped me gain the perspective of bringing God even deeper and into the center of my marriage. Also, the reminder of what a husband needs and the ‘submission lesson’ are valuable to my quest of being the best wife possible to my husband.

Who would enjoy this book:
Marriage That Works is a guide for married heterosexual couples. It’s appropriate for newlyweds as well as seasoned marriages but can also be used by engaged or dating couples. This book would make a good gift for a young Christian couple – whether married or dating.

Our Christian Book Reviews:
The book reviews at Finding God Among Us focus on Christian books - adult and children, fiction and nonfiction. We're proud to be included in the Top 50 Christian Book Review Bloggers. I chose to read an ARC from Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group. This review is my honest opinion.

Chip Ingram’s book on marriage is refreshing, insightful, and I believe faithful to what scripture says. He genuinely desires to help people to strengthen their marriages, and from that writes this book. Perhaps one of the best quotes in the book that clarified his approach to me was, “Marriage is never about establishing your own rights or telling your mate what he or she is supposed to do.” I’ve seen this happen enough in relationships to know how destructive that approach can be, and so this book resonated with me.

There’s a large theme in the book on the topic of submission, but Ingram redefines it to be out of strength, and he also writes that, “The truth is that mutual submission is the background of our entire discussion of male and female roles.” The key word in this is mutual and it is reflected in what he writes. Ingram steps away form how some interpret texts and brings a fresh perspective that is far more reflective of the larger section of Ephesians 5 than is normally addressed.

Ultimately Ingram desires to see marriage as God honoring in every sense of the word, and feels that healthy marriages flow and stem from that. As a pastor I cannot find fault with that perspective. This book will stay on the shelf and be available to couples who it can help, and perhaps even become a part of my marriage preparation materials.