Cover Image: The Other Side of an Adoption

The Other Side of an Adoption

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Member Reviews

While this book was interesting in a horrifying way it was not very well written. The author failed to protect her younger children over and over again and seemed to live in some strange state of denial. More details and a better idea of the time line would have helped make this a more coherent read.

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This short book is the real life experience of when an adoption doesn't work. I felt so sorry for Maria who obvisiously loved her adopted daughter so much and yet was living in fear of her bad behaviour.

This was a hard read that left questions like: How quickly the Russians let her get adopted?
Did they know what she was like?
And the level support offered to potential adoption parents?

I would recommend this book to anyone.

#TheOtherSideOfAnAdoption #NetGalley

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Thanks to #netgalley for the ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review. This book was a disturbing yet insightful look at what can go wrong with an adoption. Single Maria desperately wants a child. So she adopts Alba from Russia...at first its everything she hoped it would be. Then she meets the love of her life and has children with him. Her birth children are in danger, it becomes evident to Maria that there are reasons why adopting Alba was able to be done so quickly and with minimal fuss. Alba is not the angelic little girl she had hoped for. This book left me having to take a few moments after I had finished it, its a disturbing read. The author says how this ordeal has cost her relationships with family members and friends. This saddened me, whilst I didn't agree with some of her choices...hiding what Alba was doing from her partner...leaving Alba alone with her other children even after she knew they were in danger....it would have been an awful thing for her to live through and the stress of it all would have understandably impaired her judgement and decision making at the time. I am sure she has regrets but she did the best that she could at the time and it really isn't for others to judge her when they haven't been in her exact situation. A haunting, thought provoking read. #mariafranco #tea_sipping_bookworm #litsy #amazon #kindle #goodreads

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I highly recommend this book. You won't want to put it down once you start reading., a very emotional journey for them all, it goes to show you cant judge others without knowing the full story ,in my opinion she made the right decision in the worst circumstances

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I received this via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Okay. So I wanted to love this. I really did. but I had to DNF this book. This book just did not sit right with me. Returning an adopted child is something I would not do. For someone like myself that doesn't have children and will never have children but would love one, this haunts me. Children need us and I would love take them all. This was disturbing to me and I just had to lay it down. No faults for author but I think the there should have been a tad bit more research. Also I just felt sorry for Alba. My heart hurts.

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I requested this book, because I remember hearing about this case on the news. I will acknowledge that I went into this reading with preconceived notions and impressions. This story is heartbreaking and frustrating. I’m not sure if the narrator is reliable 100%, but she does spin a convincing tale.

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Stories about adoption have always fascinated me, but so many have a fairy tale ending. This one does not. It is a real-life story of the struggles that Maria Franco encountered when adopting a young girl from Russia. Although she did everything she could to build a connection and bond with the girl, a bond was never formed and Alba did many things that put the lives of her other children and family members at risk.

This is a well written account. Although at the beginning it reads more like journal entries, it really sucked me in to learn about all of the challenges this poor mother encountered and the impact it had on her emotional and physical well being.

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Thanks Netgalley and the publisher/author for this ARC for my honest review.

Let’s be real. It’s incredible difficult not to judge here. What a tough situation.
I can’t rightfully say what I would do in this situation; since I’ve never lived it. However, I’d like to think I would never give up or give away a child.

It’s a short story, and a fairly easy read.

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What if we were in that situation? What if that was us? Could we cope? Excellent book on motherhood and adoption. Makes you contemplate on your own life.

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I'll keep my review short and I'll be honest- I did judge the author just a little, I tried not to but I did.

This book reads like she was holding back information. The reason I read this book is because I've been thinking about adopting a child since I was a child. Each year I think about it more and more and each year I wrestle with the pros and cons. You heard a lot of pros and see a lot of celebrities do it but you don't really hear of the cons.

I am opposed to sending back the children you adopted. You can't give your birth child away so why do it do your adoptive children? I remember a case on the news in Tennessee about a mother sending her adoptive son back alone to Russia even though her mother begged to be given custody over him. A truly haunting case.

Even though I can't give facts as I wasn't there, I believe Alba's main problem was one of attachment and perhaps added mental issues. I've studied the birth of a brain just a bit, I'm by no means an expert but I did learn the brain of a two-year-old who had a close relationship to his mother is vastly different from a two-year-old who doesn't.

I also feel perhaps the author got married too quickly, formed a family too quickly. We only have her side of the story here and not Alba's. So who knows how much of the truth the author is saying?

I believe the author should have done a bit more research and asked a lot more questions about Alba and her behavior. The grounds she used to select her made me wall my eyes. She saw first hand how she got when other children were close to the author at the orphanage. Impossible to say she didn't know.

I do not feel sorry for the author I just feel sorry for Alba and I'm glad she is doing well.

This book did teach me one thing though if I do adopt I'm going to consider all the available children and ask questions.

Did not finish, would not recommend.

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This book was fantastic. It is one of those rare books that captures your attention and you cannot stop reading it. Looking forward to the next book by this author

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I felt this story was well written and could easily understand the agony of which she described her family was going through. Although, as I read this book, my feelings changed from the happiness of a woman finding a child to love and give a better life to, to being confused by the absolute denial the same woman continued to have at the expense of her other children.. Try as I might, I could not understand how she could continue to have more children that she knew would be put in danger by a child that they had little to no control over. Her daughter was a danger to not only her family but anyone she came in contact with including herself.. No one wants to think they can't help their own child but when all is said and done, she does help her child the best way she can.

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The other side of an adoption is the story of a lady who adopted a little girl from Russia. It is told from the adoptive mothers point of view and I found that I really warmed to her and could identify with her feelings.

I don't want to give too much away - suffice to say that there are serious problems early on in the adoption, and when the Mother meets a lovely man who becomes her husband, they have another 3 children together. Unfortunately, all is not well with their eldest daughter and things unravel quickly.

I was amazed that their marriage held together throughout all the stress these parents went through - I also felt extremely sad for the other children and how they were affected by the behaviours of their older sister.

The only thing I found disappointing was the length of the book. It is so short! I felt that much more detail could have been given in all aspects of the book, making it a longer and more in depth read. I read this book within hours and was immediately drawn in. Highly recommended as a quick read.

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A sad and disturbing tale.

I enjoy reading fostering and adoption memoirs, such as those by Cathy Glass etc. This book caught my eye. It was quite different to what I was expecting. Right at the start of the book it mentioned it had been translated. I wondered if it would work as well; if it would lose something in the translation, eg. would the emotions the author originally intended come across?


I don't know if seeing that it had been translated affected my judgement, but at first it seemed a bit basic, brief, holding things back. I usually love fostering and adoption memoirs-I wasn't 'feeling it' yet in the early stages of this one. Once I had got into it, I became gripped by the author's story; and what an incredibly sad tale. I had to keep reading to see what would happen, and when I finished it I knew it would be a book that would be hard to forget. Short and to the point, concise, an easy, quick read-yet some very hard circumstances. Oh my goodness, some of the things that happened, what a difficult, disturbed child.

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I find it almost difficult to review, given that it is based on the true story of the author's struggle with her adoptive daughter and I don't want to be overly critical of what is obviously a very traumatic situation. In a nutshell, the single narrator decides to adopt a daughter from Russia who develops severe behavioral issues. The narrator marries, has biological children and the daughter, Alba, behaviour worsens and endangers her siblings.

It's difficult for me because I do not want to judge a parent's choices or actions for a situation I have never been in myself. It's easy to say how she should have handled the situation looking from a distance. I want to avoid criticizing the story itself and focus more on the story as a whole. I will say is I felt disconnected from the characters. I don't think the author gave enough background or didn't dive deep enough into what really happened. This book felt to me less like a book and more like an essay or a buzzfeed article. I didn't feel emotionally invested in the plight of the family.

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Really quick read. It really if the dark side of adoption. Anyone thinking of adopting ought to read this. scary. Adoptive mother had to have had the patience of a saint to have dealt with the child as long as she did. Sad for the young girl. I hope she gets the help she needs.

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This was a shocking read
When do you throw in the towel? Well when you are a parent you don't ever think that way because you believe that love and patience will resolve any issue. Unfortunately, when you have a child that is truly evil that decision is taken out of your hands. Judgement calls should not even be considered unless you find yourself in the mothers position and think that you could have done better. Could not put it down.

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I would never blame or hold judgment against this woman for how this experience was lived. From what I gather, her family had a fair amount of privilege (lots of international travel, house purchases to return to, parents living on Marjorca) and did their best to offer their adopted daughter a loving and nurturing environment, but the author never addressed, either, whether she had done any research into RAD or DSED and how to work with it - there were repeat mentions of psychologists talking to the girl, and psychopathy. I will never, ever understand why she didn't tell her husband sooner what she was experiencing at home while he was away, but again, not my place to judge, just a curiosity. I would say living in fear of my life, or my other children's lives would probably be enough for me to make the same decision. This is a pair of shoes that I will never be in, either, and while some people have had success treating and eventually helping children with bonding difficulties, not everyone has - I would never assume to make a decision as this author had to unless I was actually faced with it.

This is a translation, and the writing is very personal (the translation itself seemed a bit stilted). It's a quick read and doesn't get very deep - the author readily admits in her introduction that she is actually a woman of few words and communicating is difficult for her, but I was still inspired to some deep thinking of my own. What would I have done in her position? Could I be absolutely sure? What are the bigger issues here? This was a courageous endeavor to tell a very difficult story about an unpopular but sometimes necessary choice. I base my review score on this. It's not literature, and it's not ever going to make bestseller lists, but it's important.

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The book is about a single mother who adopts a child from Russia, then ends up meeting a man and having several children with him.
The author's writing was very informal and similar to that of a child. At first I wasn't sure where the author was from, but later on in the book I realized the author was from Spain. The author doesn't give much background information about herself. She isn't detailed at all in her descriptions. The writing is very simple. That may be because English is her second language. Or the book may have been translated from Spanish to English. I was able to read this book within an hour and a half. Sadly, I feel like this book was a waste of my time.

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This was a tough book to rate. It’s a quick read, I finished in one day though I am struggling and find it almost impossible not to pass judgement.

The writing is okay, maybe a bit formal for the storyline. It leaves the reader feeling that English is not the author’s first language. She reiterates several times and talks about her reluctance to take action. Thus frustrating the reader.

I was quite frustrated with the author as a mother. Not for giving up her child, that absolutely needed to happen, but for her reluctance to take charge and act on the behavioral issues much sooner. I wanted to shake her and scream WAKE UP you’re contributing to the problem! She repeats her mistakes over and over, exacerbating her daughters bad behavior and falls short of correcting her own deficiencies as a disciplinarian.

She admittedly kept Alba’s behavioral issues from her husband, eliminating the crucial united front in child rearing. She kept having additional children when she was having difficulty managing the ones she already had, putting her biological children in jeopardy. She never delivered severe disciplinary consequences to her wayward daughter. Her and her husband did not believe in spanking and the only discipline she talked about was Alba losing tv privileges for two days. Alba was out of control but yet it took her 7 or 8 years to dig her head out of the sand and take action when all it took was two months for her parents to notice that the child had serious psychological issues. I’m not sure that if her mother hadn’t stepped in that she wouldn’t still be in the same position.

It is only by extreme luck that nothing more serious happened to her biological children while she remained in denial. As it was they were tormented and abused far too long. Sad and fascinating psychological behavior on all counts.

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