Cover Image: American Homemaker

American Homemaker

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Member Reviews

I’m not actually sure what I think about this one.

I guess I…sort of liked it?

There were parts that were very amusing and other parts that were quite heartbreaking. I did find, though, that the style of the piece wasn’t 100% right for me. It takes a very long time for two of our storylines to meet up and when they finally do, it was sort of anticlimactic. The whole ending was really. The problem is that the book kept ramping up and up and up, only to end with a bit of a whisper.

I did find the book entertaining, but didn’t end it all feeling particularly satisfied.

So…okay.

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I can't believe I had this book on my to read list for so long. Its actually a very entertaining read if not a little (well a lot) far fetched.
A unassuming woman Kim Loomas is a mortician. She's also an authority on homemaking tips and skills. In her spare time she runs a side line in supplying body parts for cash. It's also a great way to get rid of anyone who treads on your toes.
Alongside the main story there is also the story of Melody. A hit woman for hire. In my opinion not the sharpest tool in the box. The two stories run side by side and do eventually cross.
Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for the opportunity to read this ARC

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Holy cow! What an unexpected and shocking psychological thriller. 

Kim Loomis' goals as America's homemaker are high and she won't let anyone get in her way. As self-appointed president of the new Homemakers Association of Vermont (HAV) and social media sensation, she is taking the vocation of homemaker by storm, but not everyone trusts her sincerity. In fact, there is something sinister about a homemaker who's also a mortician. 

Melody Morgan is on the verge of retirement with a sizeable nest egg, but she just needs to do a couple more jobs. However, Melody is a contract killer who murdered the wrong husband. Now her life is in danger which leads her to a shocking discovery.

There are a number of characters in this disturbing story who are slowly revealed and all connected in a mind-blowing finale.  The book is full of murder and mayhem and no one is safe from a psychopath.

Thank you to Mr. Kaine and NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read this book with no expectation of a positive review.

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Description
Kim Loomis is a social media star, homemaker and mortician. With her husband Norman, they’ve been bringing in a dark harvest. But death is an infrequent visitor to a small town, and when they struggle to meet demand, Kim decides there is a profitable alternative. Except Norman doesn’t want any part of his wife’s horrific plans. He wants to leave Kim, but no one leaves America’s homemaker. It was plain sailing for assassin Melody Morgan until she executes a drug cartel’s bagman. Hunted by highly efficient killers, Melody is forced to accept a job from Kim. But not everything is as it seems. Kim is hiding something, a secret so terrifying there may be no way out for anyone.

My Review:
American Homemaker is not what I expected. It is an intense dark novel It is well written and the characters are believable. This is the kind of book that has many twists and turns and keeps you on the edge of your seat until the very end.

I received this ARC in exchange for my honest opinion. Definitely recommend for readers of mystery novels.

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Wow!! Incredible read!! The characters are well written and come to life instantly. The plot has so many subplots with twists and turns that you just never see anything coming and wait in the edge of your seat for every new development. This book would make a great mini series or movie!!

Thank you NetGalley and John Kaine for this advanced reader edition and hearing my honest review. Looking forward to reading more with you
#partners

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This noir book is a little like Martha Stewart meets Mr. and Mrs. Smith! Kim and Norman are married morticians with a side business that is described as a "dark harvest." But on the surface, Kim is the all-American homemaker with Youtube videos that have all the women (but one who is out to get her) fawning over her advice how to clean microwaves and toilets. There's also a female assassin whose story ties in at the end, as well as two young neighbor boys--one who goes missing--and the other determined to find him. How do these all fit together? Kaine has crafted a creepy, yet intelligent layered plot that will keep your head spinning until the very end. Do hope there's a sequel to this as it's good, dark fun!

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The duality of this book kept me reading. I enjoyed how 3-dimensional the characters were and how the plot was so character driven. I thoroughly enjoyed!

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American Homemaker, by John Kaine

Short Take: Finally! Proof that a messy house is a sign of a healthy psyche.

Hello, my duckies, from the land of Finally Fall! The leaves aren’t quite ready to change, but the temperature is finally below “the air is lava” and you guys know what that means, right? Halloween is coming, and I for one am all about horror movie marathons and shamelessly exploiting my adorable progeny for lots and lots of candy.

Speaking of shamelessly exploiting people, let me introduce you to American Homemaker.

Kim Loomis Has It All. She’s a successful-enough businesswoman (in a small town like Montpelier, the three competing funeral homes only get so much business), always dressed perfectly in the latest most expensive clothes, and president of the Homemakers Association of Vermont.

The last accomplishment isn’t quite as prestigious as it sounds, as the HAV only has three other members at the moment, but Kim has big plans. Of course, with such a small group of women, a certain amount of jealousy and gossip is bound to ensue, but seriously…. How DOES Kim afford the clothes, Mercedes, and everything else with such a limited client base? The more Kim glosses over the truth of her lifestyle, the more determined club member Megan becomes to unearth her secret.

In another state (and really, another world) Melody Morgan has a thriving career, because let’s face it: As long as spouses leave crumbs on the counter and toothpaste in the sink, there will ALWAYS be a market for contract killers. She can’t exactly show off her wealth or brag about her skills, and she has to keep her social circle small, of course. After the job that was supposed to be her last Goes Horribly Wrong, Melody finds herself in the crosshairs of some very, very bad people.

And back in scenic, quaint Montpelier, a twelve year old boy has gone missing, and a whole lot of horrific long-buried truths might be exposed to the light at last.

Y’all, this one is BANANAS. For 370-ish pages, there’s an insane amount of story. We get the perspectives of not only Kim & Melody, but also the kidnapped Evan and his best friend Corey, Corey’s dad, at least one particularly murderous member of a ruthless drug cartel, and all of the ladies of the club. Virtually all of the women in this story are egocentric, obsessive, and unlikable, and not-coincidentally, tremendously entertaining.

And, my beloved nerdlings, do you really need me to tell you that twists and turns abound? Because they do, oh, do they ever. But in American Homemaker, it’s not so much about the twisty plot or crazy-sudden outbursts of violence. No, this one is all about the characters, and how bad people can do good things and vice versa, and how notions like good and bad can always be contorted into each other to the point that they don’t matter anyway. Not to mention a uniquely American strain of image-conscious sociopathy that seems to be taking over the world.

(Let me briefly interject that I seem to be immune to that one, I’m quite comfy in my slovenly skin, thank you very much, and I have zero desire to “curate” anything ever.)

There’s so much discussion to be had, so many twists within turns and ugly secrets within outward perfection that I feel like I’m barely scratching the surface of a single facet of a priceless gem.

Which is why the ending was such a shock. Of course this will always be a spoiler free zone, but after spending so much tension-filled time with a main character, it was a bucket of ice water to the sensitive parts when the camera cut away from them.

To Mr. Kaine’s credit, American Homemaker doesn’t have the cash-grab sequel-setup feel that I have come to loathe, and most of the major plotlines are wrapped up in perfectly fulfilling ways, but the ambiguity of that one person’s fate still doesn’t sit quite right. The best stories leave you wanting more, but this one just left me feeling a bit deprived. Granted, it’s easy enough to imagine what happens next, but it’s just not the same.

Definitely still worth the ride though.

The Nerd’s Rating: FOUR HAPPY NEURONS (and a bucket full of Reese’s cups, because if Walmart can start Christmas right now, I can start Halloween.)

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American Homemaker by John Kaine. With two female serial killers at the center of the book (Kim a homemaker/mortician and Melody, a hired assassin), the author skillfully depicts the contrast of strange and normal with dark humor, unique plot twists and non stop action. The story is quirky and grisly (not for the faint of heart) and it hooks you into taking an intense journey. Very entertaining read and truly something different.

Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for the opportunity to preview the book.

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I wasn't sure what to expect when I started this new book sent by NetGalley and author John Kaine. I mean. a husband and wife morticians who own a funeral home, sounds simple enough, right? The wife wants to be the best American Homemaker, sharing how she takes care of home and husband with other women who want to be the best homemaker they can be. On the side she is selling body parts on the black market to bring in enough money to live the lifestyle she portrays to others. Then we meet an assassin who ends up killing the money man for a Mexican drug cartel. And this is just the beginning of this wonderful, darkly humorous, twisty thriller. Add in a missing 12 year old boy with a drunken mother and his best friend who also goes missing and you have a fast paced thrill ride of a book. I can not tell you how they all end up crossing paths but I can tell you it is well worth the ride to read this. Luckily, the end leaves an opening for another chapter? I can only hope!

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Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.

I'm sad to admit, this book was just not for me. I'm not sure why, but I couldn't get into it.

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After finishing this book I literally had to step away and clear my mind. There was so much happening so quickly at the end, I couldn't stop reading until I finished it.. There were so many twists and turns and unexpected developments that I almost couldn't keep up. This is one of those books where after you finish it you immediately start over in case you missed something. The violence in this story may be too much for some people, but if you can stomach a little murder, I would definitely recommend this book.

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Interesting book with a highly thrilling plot. I enjoyed the characters as well. Must read for all thriller lovers.

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Really enjoyed this novel. The writing flowed and the characters were depicted very well. Couldn't wait to find out what happens next.

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Wow. This was sure some ride! Murderous funeral directors, Mexican drug cartels, organ harvesting, female asassins, and hero kids are all mixed together in “American Homemaker”, an aptly named book if ever there was one. Author @JohnKaine8 pulls it all together in this crisp and entertaining novel. Sprinkled with dark humor (and several laugh-out-loud moments), the book is quirky, grisly, and was a blast to read. If you’re looking for something a little different, this is definitely for you. Loved it! The publisher through @NetGalley gave me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

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Enjoyed this book. Kept me interested all the way through. Would recommend to a fellow reader. Love the cover.

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I love thrillers. They are my favourite type of books by a mile. I love being shocked and scared and tense and even uncomfortable. But there is a line and at times, this book not only crossed the line but stomped all over it. Some of the gruesome details felt as if they were added in just for shock value, which I really don't enjoy. There has to be a reason, not just to shock the reader.

I have nothing against unlikable characters - as I keep saying, humans are imperfect. We are not all likeable and perfect all the time and so unlikable characters do not phased me. But sometimes I wasn't sure if Kim was supposed to be as unlikable as she is!

I enjoyed that this book focused on two different women serial killers and tried to break the mold for the genre, but I think there was so much more the author could have done to give us something unexpected and new. I didn't dislike this book, but I felt potential was wasted. Maybe the author's next book will push the boundaries further?

I received an ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

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Fantastic thriller. I finished this book in a matter of days. I was reading another one concurrently or I would have finished sooner. The basic premise is a married couple are running a funeral home in a small town. The wife is selling “parts” off the dead bodies to make more money because there’s money in those parts and she’s, to put it bluntly, a stone cold killer. There’s a lot more money in black market organs though, so I’m sure you can see where this is going. Then a kid goes missing. Her husband is a pretty docile sort, but this is just about the last straw, goshdurnit.
The moving pieces in this story are really intricate, from the alcoholic mother of the first missing kid, the loving couple of the second missing child, who snuck (sneaked? Meh, shrug), out of his room out of guilt to find the first kid, who was his best friend. The guilt was rising from a fight they’d had right before the first kid disappeared. There’s a twin to the mortician cum black market organ seller, she’s in a psychiatric unit for taking the blame for their foster home burning to the ground after a particularly bad beating she’d endured. Oh, and the black market organ seller is a completely off the rails Martha Stewart worshipper who has a lot of “opinions” about how a home should be kept pristine and has YouTube channels and such devoted to her vocation of “homemaking.”
There’s also a side story of an assassin, a former army soldier going on in the background, which ties neatly in right at the very end of the story and I’m hoping fervently will lead to a second book. This wild ride goes all the way, literally, to the very last sentence of this book. I gasped out loud and looked at my husband and couldn’t not try to explain what the h*ll had just gone on in this book. Absolutely fantastic read. I can’t wait to get more from this author.

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AMERICAN HOMEMAKER shows us one of the many dark sides of social media by examining what happens when an influencer runs amok. Very imaginative and well written and I have recommended it to others.

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I started reading this book but lost interest mid way and did not finish it. I selcted this book based on the story line and some of the other reviews but after reading few chapters could not continue with it.

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