Purely magnificent, shocking, wondrous, un-put-downable, horrifying, and downright beautiful. I devoured this in two sittings and already want to reread it. Thanks so much to NetGalley and William Morrow for providing me with an ARC of this amazing novel. I will definitely be recommending it to my library patrons.

Compulsively readable, complex, and breathtaking. By the end, I felt so connected to Vanessa Wye, to her story.

Wow. It’s so difficult to read a book on rape, consent, sexual trauma, and healing and say “this is such a good book”, because it does feel wrong in some way. But Russell took this story, Vanessa’s story, and turned it into a powerful tale about trauma—but also healing.

The story told it to us in two perspectives. Vanessa as a 15 year old girl and Vanessa as an adult—both still in some sort of complicated sexual relationship with her (former) teacher. And Russell told it amazingly well. Her writing is intoxicating, and the story is gut-wrenching, and sad, and at times, makes you want to yell. But trust me, you want to read this.

Also, this story clearly should come with a number of trigger warnings for rape, sexual trauma, and pedophilia.

I couldn't put this down. It is dark and haunting and beautiful and relatable but also unimaginable and heartbreaking.

I can not stop thinking about this book. Beautifully written and well crafted. I love the jumping between 2000 and current day. A very interesting twist on the #METOO era. It was really fascinating and terrifying to read how the teacher groomed the main character.

When Vanessa is 15 years old she has a sexual affair with her 42 year old English teacher Mr. Strane. Years later Strane is accused of sexual misconduct by another student. Vanessa (who continues to be in contact with the teacher) is torn deciding if she should come forward with her experience or remain silent and protect the man she thought she loved.
This novel is both compelling and creepy. The reader is taken through Vanessa's young life as we see how Strane grooms the young innocent girl. The author was so adept writing the behavior and conversations between the teacher and girl it made my skin crawl. You can tell what the teacher is trying to do while the innocent girl can not. (shivers)...
Later, as an adult when the accusations by the other student are made you can see how Vanessa struggles with her decision as to what to do. She has been so damaged by the ordeal as a young 15 year old, and her conversations as an adult with Strane have her being pulled in both directions. What decision will she make?
The author Kate Elizabeth Russell has a blockbuster first novel on her hands! Her writing and character development are strong and the story line keeps you guessing.
With these stories popping up so often in the news, and the Me Too movement make this a very current novel.
This would be a great choice for book clubs ... and a great movie ... just sayin'...
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for choosing me to read and review this book.