What an amazing story! From the very beginning, I was hooked. I loved how the lives of these characters intersected and affected one another. The writing was touching and real. I found the perspective of an author’s life very interesting. With themes of forgiveness, grace, hope and finding light in the darkness, there is a lesson for everyone. The author’s respect and appreciation of people dealing with depression and PTSD is evident. I think that books discussing these issues are so important in our world today. I hope that many people will pick up this book. This is the first book that I have read by Elizabeth Musser but it won’t be the last. I was given a copy of this book by the publisher. All opinions are my own.

…”I steadied my Glock, and took aim…In the same moment I heard a voice at the end of the alley call out, “Ms. Bourdillon! You forgot—” and the lady turned as my bullet laced its way silently through the air, so that it hit her on the right side of the head instead of full force in the back, as was my intent. But I saw her fall to the ground, lying in a puddle of blood, as the voice turned into a piercing scream. I disappeared around the corner…..”

I stopped reading at this point and checked to see if I was reading a book by Elizabeth Musser. I hadn’t read the book blurb, just looked at the cover and jumped in. I didn’t expect this opening from what the cover conveyed. After checking all was correct, I adjusted by expectations and settled down for a fascinating, brilliantly written tale told through Henry eyes, (paid assassin), and Paige Josephine’s daughter (budding novelist) with flash backs through bestselling author Josephine’s eyes. I felt readers got a peek into this authors’ personal story (as confirmed in acknowledgements). This was a story close to the authors heart as she gives a peek into her writing world and some of her experiences in France. (where she lives)

While well-known author Josephine Bourdillon lies in a coma the reader gets to know her as she recalls memories from the past, troubles family life involving her free-spirited sister, meeting her husband and how she because an author.

This story is beautifully told as this author tackles tough topics, keeping matters honest, non-preachy and true. The author shows how the lies we believe and tell others creates a web around us that’s hard to break. Issues touched on are suicide, mental illness, depression, friendship, love, acceptance, faith, trust, hope, and forgiveness all wonderfully shared through her soul-searching characters. Musser was able to have readers look at tragic events from a few different angles, sharing through compassionate, loving and graceful eyes. (John 8:31 – 32 Jesus said… you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”)

I appreciate the authors bravery and transparency in writing this story. These topics people don’t like to talk about and/or even think about. I liked how Josephine realizes the lies she’s believed about God, herself and others.

“I had to get to the end of myself before I could figure out how to live again. I thought quite literally and horribly and morbidly that the end of myself was dying. Depression does that, and don’t let anyone tell you differently. We sensitive souls feel everything so deeply. Everything matters, and I could not differentiate between the really big deals and the big deals in my heart that tormented me time and time again.”

This is a surprising, engaging, hopeful read that will bring much discussion for your book club group. The author includes 15 discussion questions to help you go deeper in discussing this novel. This author pens a remarkable story you won’t want to miss.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher, Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”

Nora St. Laurent
TBCN Where Book Fun Begins! www.bookfun.org
The Book Club Network blog www.psalm516.blogspot.com
Book Fun Catalogue front page www.bookfun.org

This is a powerful book about living with depression, creativity/art, forgiveness, family relationships, love, sacrifice... In many ways it reads like a murder mystery, with multiple suspects, red herrings, clues slipped in here and there, and an unexpected solution.

One of the main character's daughters says “Momma writes truth in a way that gets into people's hearts,” and I find that sums up Elizabeth Musser's writing for me. This may not be an easy book to read, but it is worth reading. I highly recommend it!

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Baker Publishing Group through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

I could not stop reading this book! Thank you Elizabeth Musser for incorporating the seriousness of depression with candor and hope. I think you are so brave for writing this story. The characters are so real, the story line so believable, and the touch of suspense kept me reading into the early hours of the morning. I highly recommend it to all story lovers, anyone needing extra grace, and especially to anyone who suffers from depression, or anyone who loves someone who suffers. Well done.

Thank you to Bethany House and Net Galley for the early copy of When I close my Eyes. All opinions are my own.

In her new book, When I Close My Eyes, Elizabeth Musser opens it with a piercing moment of hate and violence that then turns our direction back to the truth of God’s love, strength and peace. She leads us thru the lives of a tight-knit family, their friends and an unlikely addition to reveal the depth and honesty of the mother’s struggle with depression. I love that Elizabeth never makes the struggles look easy. She reveals the ugliness, the anger and hypocrisy of our hearts while still honoring that truth. The truth that each of us must walk as we grow in our relationship with Christ.

I want to shout it out to all how much I LOVED this book and how much it is needed and how brave Elizabeth is for writing it! God’s Grace is sufficient but many times we don’t believe we are good enough or deserve it. As one who has also suffered from depression off and on my entire life; I highly suggest others to read this book. It definitely touched me and gave me a renewed feeling of hope.
Thank you to the author for the opportunity to be a part of her street team and reading an early copy of this wonderful book.