Cover Image: The Mother I Could Have Been

The Mother I Could Have Been

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Member Reviews

The mother I could have been... I guess every mother, looking backwards, feels like she could have dealt with some things differently or reacted differently. Should you have regrets? If it's about minor things, I would say no, because you are only human and are allowed to make mistakes.

Children should maybe ask themselves that very same question. I guess not every child is an angel each and every day either and sometimes they can really drive you up the wall and they have to deal with the consequences.

Sometimes it's maybe hard to love a child if they don't want to be loved and find fault in every thing you do and feel wronged all the time.

Sometimes other people take over the care of your child and tell you over and over again you are not fit to be a mother and they know better.

Nobody is perfect and people who love each other, accept the shortcomings of the others and always try to mend bridges no matter how far the banks are apart.

When you are left with choices, you have to pick one and what seemed right at that specific moment, might feel wrong afterwards.

For me the green eyed monster is responsible for a lot of heartache in this story, but also people trying to run someone else's life is the cause for relationships collapsing beyond repair.

This is a very emotional story where a lot of people get hurt due to the actions of a few individuals, but there is a lot of room for love and a bit of romance too. 5 stars

Thank you

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Really enjoyed this book. It's emotional but a real page turner. I can't wait to read more from the author in the future!

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This was a particularly difficult book for me to read, being a bit too close to home in some ways. Saying that, in true Kerry style, it was truly excellent with wonderful characters

It was obvious Kerry had done a lot of research into the painful topic of estrangement within families and the various reasons it occurs but it was written beautifully with a lot of thought.

Once again, a wonderful book, even if it did make me cry buckets, but also gave me a little hope one day I’ll see my own daughter again

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Vicky Hall has just finished university, she’s excited to be graduating and looking forward to the ceremony. When her mum calls to tell her she want be able to make it, Vicky feels let down, her mum has remarried, and has two younger children Emily and Joey. Vicky has never met her father, she feels like her mother favors her younger children, she's disappointed and then she gets mad. Vicky goes on a holiday to Corfu in Greece with her friend, her mum sends her a message asking when she’s coming home and she ignores it.

Vicky meets William Cottingdale, he’s house sitting a villa in Greece and when she falls pregnant they return to England. The young couple stay with William’s parents Barbara and Derek and Vicky still doesn’t contact her mum to let her know she's back. When little Theo is born, Vicky's a nervous new mother and Barbara offers to help. Before she knows it Barbara has taken over, things get out of control and Vicky leaves the house when Theo's two. She doesn’t return, Barbara has deliberately made Vicky feel like she has failed as a mother, she has told Theo she’s his Mamma and poor Vicky has no idea. By leaving she has given Barbara, exactly what she’s wanted and Vicky has lost her son.

Vicky's working at Applewood Farm, owners Caro and Gilbert Campbell have employed her to help run their accommodation business and they become much more than her employers. With the guidance of Caro, Gilbert and their son Fergus, Vicky gains her confidence back, she’s given the opportunity to raise her son, it’s not going to be easy to make up for the six years she has lost, it's a huge change for Theo and with the help from the Cambell's, mother and son eventually form a bond.

The Mother I Could Have Been is a story about Vicky being young and vulnerable and Barbara taking advantage of her. Vicky made mistakes, she should have kept in contact with her mother, she judged her too harshly, and she was very immature. I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review, the story was a little far fetched and three stars from me.

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What a great book
This book was written so well and the author has such a way with words.
The characters are both flawed and complex.
A good read

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It's a page turner!

The Mother I Could Have Been is beautifully writen and I love that the author offers the point of view from a daughter and mother.
As a daughter and mother myself I can fully sympathize with Vicky, I also understand Caro point of view, but not so much about India, Caro's daughter.

I would recommend this book for daughters, and also mom with teens and adult daughters as a refresher and also offering other point of view.

Thank you netgalley for the arc.

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Wow, this was such a great read. What an awesome storyline. This book grabs you at page one and doesn't let you go. I really like her writing style. This is an author I will definitely continue to follow. I highly recommend this book. You won't be disappointed.

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The Mother I Could Have Been is SUCH an emotional-filled novel about relationships and communication and how important it is between those you love - especially mothers and daughters. It also involves how we allow our self worth to be determined by other people's opinions and views. Focusing on two mothers, Vicky and Caro, this is a well written story involving innocence, jealousy, heartbreak, forgiveness and ultimately hope. It kept me turning the pages until the very end!
Thanks to Kerry Fisher, Bookouture and NetGalley for the ARC of this book.

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Readers should know The Mother I Could Have Been is not what you call an easy read. There is so much heartache in this story, but it is beautifully written. There is pain and loss and you will most definitely feel every single bit of it.

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Vicky Hall is twenty-one when she travels to Greece and falls pregnant with Theo. Estranged from her family, she vows to always be there for her son. But Vicky is insecure and life as a new mother is tricky, failing to work out as she planned.

Meanwhile, Caro is a grandmother desperate to see the grandchildren her daughter, India, is equally determined she will never share. The Mother I Could Have Been by Kerry Fisher is an exploration of the mother/daughter relationship and how easily words misconstrued lead to tension and heartbreak that last years.

Fisher is skilled at conjuring believable characters with snappy dialogue that rings true, and I immediately recognised and understood Caro, with her heart-wrenching story. However, at times, I became a little frustrated by Vicky and her reluctance to reach out to her vulnerable young son, who endures so much. Despite that, the two halves of the storyline blend expertly, creating a touching examination of family feuds, loss and forgiveness.

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A very interesting book. I really enjoyed reading a book by this author for the first time. I would recommend this book to anyone

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A lovely heartwarming story of Vicky, who is estranged from her mother and goes on to have a son, and then ends up estranged from him. So well written with characters I loved to get to know and loved reading their journey

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‘The Mother I Could Have Been,’ is another solid novel from Kerry Fisher. It tells Vicky’s story as her upbringing shapes her choices in her adult life. I did find it difficult to relate to Vicky however Vicky’s story is interwoven with Caro’s and is much more relatable.

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I love Kerry Fisher's work, her books are so well-written with stories that really resonate and echo real lives. This is an emotional and sensitive story with characters that jump off the page. Highly recommended!
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the chance to read an ARC.

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Unfortunately I didn't have opportunity to read/review this one due to other commitments, but I will feature it on my page. If I get the chance to review this one I will make sure to come and update it here. Thank you Netgalley and publisher for my gifted copy.

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What a lovely storyline covering a flawed and broken relationship, love, loss and the fragile relationship between a mother and her daughter. Vicky’s father died and her mother remarried and went on to have two more children. When Vicky graduates and her mother rings to say she can’t attend as one of the other children has been admitted to hospital, Vicky then decides that her mother doesn’t love and want her and decides to have her own family in a few years time. After her graduation Vicky goes on holiday with a friend and her family and decides to stay there where she meets William and falls pregnant. They move in with his family and Barbara, William’s mother, helps out by looking after Theo, their baby. But Barbara takes control and Vicky is convinced that Theo doesn’t thinks she is a good mother as he screams every time she goes near him, so she decides to walk out of their lives. The story then turns to Caro and her daughter India, who decides that Caro is unfit to look after her children and cuts off all ties with her. The stories are then combined when Vicky comes to work for Caro and becomes one of the family. The characters in this book are amazing and the story takes us on an emotional journey . Kerry writes with compassion and with a deep understanding of the complex relationship between mothers and daughters. I loved this book, I couldn’t put it down and will certainly be reading more books by this author.
Thanks to Netgalley and Bookouture for giving me the opportunity to read and review this book.l

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What a story! I was drawn into it from the very beginning and could not put this down. The twist and turns will have you charging through the pages to see what happens.

The Mother I Could Have Been is an emotional psychological novel about relationships between mothers and daughters. This story is an emotional roller coaster, and you will want a box of tissues nearby.

OMG, another phenomenal book by Kerry Fisher, the story is well written and the characters are so real. This story will stay with you long after you finish it.

There are no spoilers from me as you have to read this book yourself!!!

I highly recommend this book and it is going on my top books to read this year.

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An emotional story of how family ties can break, never to be repaired. Kerry Fisher keeps the story moving, showing how you cannot tell what goes on in a family while looking from the outside. From highs to lows are shown from several different families, they all become linked in the end. The Mother I Could Have Been evolved from a neglected child's pain filled proclamations to an all inclusive ending that was a very good read.

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I really enjoyed this book. This is the first book I've read by Kerry Fisher, although I have The Silent Wife lined up next on audio.
This book really tugged at my heart strings. As a mother of 3 and stepmother of one, I have definitely asked myself too many times if my kids would be better off without me, especially in those sleep deprived post partum stages. This book really makes you see just how delicate families relationships are.
I loved every minute of this book, and highly recommend it. Thank you to netgalley, Kerry Fisher and the publisher for the arc of this book.

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This is the first Kerry Fisher book I have read and I have to say that I am pleasantly surprised. I really and truly enjoyed it. An nice and easy read, the pace was steady, the story emotional and the ending heartwarming. Although I wouldn't classify THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN in the Mystery/Thriller genre, it does has an element of mystery to it. But I would shelve it with the contemporary, general fiction or even chick lit.

THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN is Vicky's story. She grew up not knowing her father and when her mother remarried to a man who didn't particularly like his new wife's daughter then went on to have two more children. Whilst her mother played happy families with husband Ian and children Joey and Emily, Vicky felt like the odd one out. Her mother always seemed to have more time for her new family rather than she did for Vicky.

2009. When Vicky graduated university, her mum rang at the last minute with the excuse that Emily had taken a fall and she was at the hospital; that she was sorry but wouldn't be able to make her graduation. Angered that once again her mother proved she didn't really want her, Vicky decided that when it came time for her to have a family she would show them the love and attention she had always wanted but never received. She would give her children what she had missed out on.

Then when her flatmate's family invited her to join them on a trip to Corfu, Vicky jumped at the chance to escape her troubles with her own family. But two weeks into the holiday, she begins to feel her presence really isn't wanted particularly when she overhears her friend Liv tell her mother she "didn't think she would be spending the whole holiday with us"!

So Vicky makes her escape and finds herself at beachside bar run by the charismatic Freddie. On a whim, she asks him for a job in exchange for board and lodging and by the end of the day Vicky had moved herself into the attic room overtop of the bar. The locals loved her, the tourists also loved her and soon Freddie did too. It wasn't long before Vicky left the attic room and moved in with Freddie. Together they enjoyed a free spirited relationship and when Liv's family left Corfu, Vicky found herself not wanting to go back home. So she stayed.

Then one day, Vicky is enjoying the solitude of a secluded beach the locals frequent...but not generally tourists...when she meets William. They spend a glorious day and evening together and he walks her home to the bar, giving her his number should she ever wish to see him again. Despite being with Freddie, Vicky can't stop thinking about William and before long she moves out of the room she shared with Freddie and moves in with William.

Vicky and William fall madly in love and they love their life in Corfu, and aren't looking to return home to the UK in the foreseeable future. That is, until Vicky discovers she is pregnant and everything changes. After a scare in her second trimester, Vicky and William decide to move back to the UK with William's family where she is welcomed by his mother and father.

When Vicky gives birth to baby Theo, she is filled with doubts about her abilities, which are more often than not, highlighted by William's mother Barbara. Vicky trusted Barbara to know best as she hadn't a clue on how to raise a child, but soon those subtleties turn into nastiness and Vicky finds herself at loggerheads with not just Barbara, but William too, who doesn't seem the least bit interested and tired of her constant complaints about his mother. Not only that, Theo didn't seem to like her and would scream whenever she came near...and yet he would calm in Barbara's arms.

But one Christmas, when Theo was 2, was the last straw. Barbara once again asserted her authority over Vicky for little Theo's attention and when he took a tumble with his new gift, Vicky was shocked to hear Theo cry "Don't want Vicky! Want Mamma!" Vicky was incensed and confronted Barbara about teaching him to call her "mamma". But Barbara brushed it off as "Theo's choice...short for grandma". When she tried to talk to William about it, he was more interested in his phone than what was going on and told her to calm down. Furious, Vicky changed into more comfortable clothes, jumped in her car and left...and she never went back.

She had intended to return...but every time she tried she found she just couldn't face William or his mother in what would be another "battle of wills". In the end, she stayed away for about six months before she decided to speak to William face to face. But when she approached the school where Barbara had insisted on Theo going to, she saw William kissing a tall blonde woman...and even worse, Theo seemed to love her too! It seemed their lives had moved on without her...and she wasn't even missed. Not even by her son.

So Vicky turned her car around and drove away.

Devon, 2016. Caro Campbell and her husband Gilbert ran a small holiday business with their son Fergus. Caro had a daughter India who, for all intents and purposes, was a complete pain in the proverbial! That woman would find fault in anything and everything! Caro loved both her children but India could never see it.

On New Year's Eve, India had left her three children - Ivy, Rowan and Hollie - in Caro's charge with strict instructions that she must follow to the letter. However, it was New Years and Caro was entertaining guests whilst the children were watching television in the den. By the time India and her husband returned early, Ivy was drunk and Rowan and Hollie had fallen asleep in the den in front of inappropriate TV programmes. India was livid and accused her mother of being disrespectful to them and their wishes. Some weeks later, Caro received a letter from her daughter cutting off all ties with them since they "could not be bothered to respect their wishes". Caro is gutted. India has always been difficult but she still loves her, though India fails to see that.

However, the business has been suffering recently and Fergus suggests hiring someone to manage it so he can get on with doing the hands-on work of redecorating the cottages. Enter Vicky her and dog Lionel.

Vicky is soon at home at Applefield Cottages, and although she says little, she is good at her job and it isn't long before Caro finds they cannot do without her.

When an investigator knocks at Caro's door one day looking for Vicky, bringing news she does not want to hear, Caro begins to see the cracks in Vicky's demeanour as the young woman breaks down and opens up to her. Soon the two women become fast friends and while both of them are mothers, both find themselves in a situation they can see no way out of.

THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN begins as Vicky's story but ends up Caro's as well. It is moving, it is tragic, it is heartbreaking, it is emotional. A story about life, love and loss. About motherhood and relationships. It is filled with raw emotion, devastation and heartbreak but by the end it is so heartwarming you will be left with an afterglow.

There were times I could have gladly slapped Vicky, but for the most part, I could understand where she was coming from as for much of my life I have felt like the odd one out or unwanted. So I could relate to how she was feeling...and although I didn't agree with her walking out on her son, I could totally get why she did. Had I been in her situation with a mother-in-law like that I probably would be tempted to do the same thing. Vicky had no self-esteem, no confidence and no real value of herself. Is it no wonder she could easily be manipulated?

The two people I could not stand the most were Barbara and India. Both were filled with a jealously so fierce though they reacted in vastly different ways. Sometimes I wondered how Vicky could not see through Barbara's subtleties...but then she had no self confidence and she trusted Barbara. And William? I could have gladly throttled him for being so indifferent and uncaring to Vicky's emotions. So what if he thought she was being over-the-top? His job was to protect her and Theo. He only served to drive a wedge between himself and Vicky.

I really loved the backdrop of Corfu and found myself wanting to stay there! But the story I really enjoyed was Caro's. I don't know...I think I found Caro an endearing and heartwarming character. I could feel myself enveloped in her arms and the love radiate from her...I don't know why her own daughter couldn't.

THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN has such heartwarming moments it made this book such a feel-good read, despite the heartbreak at the centre of both stories. Vicky may not have been entirely likable all of the time, she wasn't an emotional person and kept her feelings hidden, but she had a deep love for her son that she truly thought he would be better off without her. She had so much love but didn't know how to show it.

As Vicky's and Caro's stories intertwine, THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN draws us in from the first pages and keeps up engaged right up until the last, as we journey through tears and joys, regrets and heartbreak, loss and second chances.

I thoroughly enjoyed this journey and will not hesitate to take up another of Kerry Fisher's. I urge you to pick up a copy of THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN - you will not be disappointed.

I would like to thank #KerryFisher, #NetGalley and #Bookouture for an ARC of #TheMotherICouldHaveBeen in exchange for an honest review.

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