I just love reading books by this author and her books just amaze me. So when Kerry's new book came out to read I had to find a cosy corner, turn my phone off and open my kindle then, become apart of this book. Oh You will need a Big Box of tissues for this one. 
The Mother I Could Have Been by Kerry Fisher was just an OMG amazing book. Kerry always writes with passion and is always beautifully written without, 

I highly recommend this book. Well, all her books and a box of tissues. I read this latest one in two sittings and it just took my breath away.
WoW just amazing. 

Big Thank you to Bookouture and NetGalley, for providing me a digital ARC of The Mother I Could Have Been by Kerry Fisher for review.

I received an ARC copy of this book from Net Galley in exchange for my honest opinion of it. I really had a hard time getting into this book and just could not finish it. How sad for Vicky that her own mom didn't attend her graduation because she was too involved with her new husband and kids. I had a really hard time just trying to understand some of the words and phrases used.

I was given an ARC from netgalley in exchange for an honest and Independent review. 
I have to be honest and say I struggled with this book. I just found it so difficult to get into and engage with the story and the characters. But I persevered and then at 40%into the book, for me, the pace changed, the plot developed and I was fully engaged and could not put it down. I shed a few tears as I found it quite emotional reading about mothers and their relationship with their children. .  
I have read a number of other books by the same author which I loved and overall this was a great read, just not 5 stars due to the slow start.

Many thanks to Bookouture and Kerry Fisher for the opportunity to read and review this book.  The Mother I Could Have Been was a heart warming emotional read. There are a lot of strong complex  female characters in the book, most of them mothers whose lives are connected. A book based on motherhood, the good , the bad and the damn right impossible.

EXCERPT: I could have put my head on the table and cried. I'd held my babies close when they were born, my mind full of the fun we'd have, the places we'd see, the idea that we'd be this solid unit, each one of us standing firm, providing fortification against the outside world. It never occurred to me that we'd all turn on each other.

ABOUT THIS BOOK: As a child, Vicky Hall never had the sort of family she wanted. The least important person in her new step-family, ignored by her mother in favour of her two younger half-siblings, Vicky was always an afterthought. Sitting alone at her graduation ceremony at the age of twenty-one, she vows to create her own family and her own life, one which is full of the love and attention she has always craved.

When Vicky meets William and falls pregnant in Greece that summer, it isn’t planned. But the two of them believe they can make it work, showering their child with the love which they believe should be enough.

But when her son Theo is two, Vicky leaves him in the care of her mother-in-law, walks out of her front door and drives to a hotel where she takes a room for the night. She doesn’t return.

It’s unthinkable.

What kind of mother does that?

The kind who is hiding a story you can never imagine.

MY THOUGHTS: What mother hasn't doubted her own capability as a mother? Doesn't look back with regret at some stupid decision she made, or some inappropriate reaction to something her child has done that she would take back if she could? Mothering has to be the hardest job in the world.

And the most rewarding. But when you're young, and perhaps without a network of support, it is a daunting job. It's daunting enough when you have that support. I felt sorry for Vicky, but I didn't like her. At first.... I came around.

I have to admit I bonded more with Caro, and loved her story, even though I couldn't see how the two could be connected. But they were. Beautifully.

Fisher has a great way with words. She says about people what we all think at times, and says it in exactly the way we think it. Her characters are so real they could walk off the pages and into our lives. We feel their emotions, their fears, their disappointments, their joys.

An emotional read.

****

#TheMotherICouldHaveBeen #NetGalley

THE AUTHOR: Kerry Fisher is an internationally bestselling author of six novels, including The Woman I Was Before, The Silent Wife and The Secret Child. She was born in Peterborough, studied French and Italian at the University of Bath and spent several years living in Spain, Italy and Corsica. After returning to England to work as a journalist, she eventually abandoned real life stories for the secrets of fictional families. She now lives in Surrey with her husband, two teenage children and a naughty Lab/Schnauzer called Poppy.

Best advice ever received: 'This is fiction, we can skip the boring bits.' Lynn Hightower, UCLA Writers' Program.

DISCLOSURE: Thank you to Bookouture, via NetGalley, for providing a digital ARC of The Mother I Could Have Been by Kerry Fisher for review. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own opinions.

For an explanation of my rating system please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page, or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com

This and other reviews are also published on Twitter, Amazon and my webpage

I  loved this book. Kerry always writes very well. The characters in her books always come alive. A heartbreaking story, I felt so sorry for Vicky who seemed to be carried along by circumstances.

After her mother remarried, Vicky always felt left out & when her mother misses her graduation ceremony she decides she's better off on her own. She goes off with her friend to Greece. When the friend returns to life in the UK she stays on working in a bar where she meets William. It is love at first site. When she becomes pregnant they return home but William's mother never takes to her. Before long it seems like William's mother has taken over. Her child, Theo, screams whenever she comes near & after a particularly grim Christmas she goes off to cool down & never comes back.

Caro loved her children but no matter what she does she can never live up to her daughter India's expectations  Along with her son Fergus & husband Gilbert they run a holiday cottage business. When Vicky comes for a job there she fits in so well with the family- apart from India! Who after a row decides Caro is an unfit Grandmother & cuts off all contact between Caro & her grandchildren. When circumstances bring Theo back into Vicky's life, she has another chance to be a mum, but will Caro ever have that chance?

This book deals with the joys & pains that motherhood brings. It focuses on the feeling that no matter what you do, it is not enough. I really liked Caro & felt sorry for Vicky. India & her husband however, were unbelievably awful! It was a great read. Thanks to Netgalley & the publisher for letting me read & review this moving book.

This is the first book I’ve ever read by Kerry Fisher and it will not be my last. This is such a heartbreaking, moving, wonderful story of a girl who decides to disappear twice. I didn’t want this book to end. 
In this emotional sorry, Vicki decides to go on a vacation with her friend, and stay gone. With perceived turmoil in her home, she chooses the relaxed atmosphere of Greece, getting into a relationship with William and ultimately getting pregnant. 
Vicki and William move to his parents home for help with their baby Theo, and the stability his family provides. 
While his mother loves Theo, she doesn’t love Vicki, and successfully undermines her parenting for two years. 
Vicki decides everyone would be better off without her, again. 

This story comes full circle in ways that make you laugh, cry, and hope for a better future for everyone involved. 
I loved this book - 5 stars! 

I received a copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Please say that I wasnt the only one to read this thinking, ‘how could anyone walk away from their own child?’

Now before anyone reading this thinks I’m judging, I’m not because, even though the above thought kept going through my mind as though stuck on repeat, there are times where we have no idea what goes through someone else’s mind in one particular moment. Naturally, as the story progressed, the reasons behind Vicky’s departure became clear. But, just like Caro, another character who appears later in the book, thought, were those reasons a justifiable reason overall?

I could see where Vicky was coming from. Her sons grandmother even got my back up and yes, I had the urge to shout at the interfering witch through my kindle. Vicky had next to no confidence. She couldn’t even trust herself to make the right decision because she didn’t believe that those decisions were right. She doubted every move she made, every thought that crossed her mind – everything. I did feel for her as I could see that she was battling against her own mind and herself. In all honesty, I found it quite heartbreaking that Vicky felt so lost, like she couldnt reach out to her family in fear of judgement. Scary how powerful fear can be, isnt it?

I mentioned Caro further up in my review and, just like Vicky, she was also battling with herself because of the mislaid communication with her family, especially daughter, India. Again, it would be quick of us, as readers, to judge the situations in this book, and it would be so easy for us to sit and shout about how we would do things differently. Would we though? India was such an immature character who seriously needed to grow up and, even though I wanted to shout that, I was also able to see that the character had her own demons to deal with.

Kerry Fisher, as I’m sure you can tell, gave me a lot of food for thought with her latest book. It also goes to show that, whilst our eyes want to see one thing, our minds want to believe something completely different. Fisher highlighted how life isn’t always plain sailing and that people find themselves making decisions which will change their life, and the lives of others, for a good long while.

I’m going round the houses here, apologies. I appreciated the strength of the storyline and the sheer power and determination of every single character mentioned. Yes, they all had their flaws, but to them they were doing the best that they possibly could.

I thought Kerry Fisher absolutely nailed this book. It was suspenseful, relatable, emotional, intense, yet still an unbreakable novel which had the power of the entire world in its hands. I loved it.

This book was a great reminder that as a mother, most of us think we are messing up and doing it all wrong. And we're probably right about that a lot of the time. What I liked in the book was the theme that even when we think we are messing up, what is our actual mistake is distancing ourselves from the ones we love because of our own insecurities or perceptions about our mothering. The characters in the book weave together to show each other that their presence IS important, and that we need each other more than we realize.  There were moments when I'd feel the heart of a mother watching her grown children and ache for them to have the connection that was missing.  There were moments when I identified more with the daughters that were making the distance, and navigating the difficult road of being an adult, but managing relationships with parents as roles have somewhat changed.  Parenting is hard, but the relationships that come are ones that you don't want to miss out on because of perceived slights. Family is hard, but worth it.

(I received this book as an advanced readers copy in exchange for my impartial review.)

The character study of how different women approach motherhood had a touch of thriller to it and was an enjoyable read. I liked the way that each of the women’s stories eventually dovetailed; that was put together nicely. I also thought it was interesting how Vicky and Caro (and even Barbara) learned from each other. I did think that the book was rushed toward the end and seemed to end abruptly, but I appreciated the detail and thought that went into examining why mothers make the choices that they do for their kids, even when they may be misguided. For a full review, please visit my blog at Fireflies and Free Kicks Fiction Reviews. Thank you to NetGalley and Bookouture for a digital ARC of this book.

A stunning family drama.  A girl who is a little lost and feels an outsider as her mother started a new family.  Vicky goes to Greece on holiday and doesn't return.  She meets a wonderful man and all seems a perfect new life for her as he welcomes her and the new baby into his family.  A heart wrenching tale as Vicky leaves her baby at two years old.  Who could do that and why.  This story will break your heart and lift it too as you learn the story.  Some truly unlikeable characters that add to this story.  I loved it.

Thank you to NetGalley, Bookouture and Kerry Fisher for the Arc of The Mother I Could Have Been. My review is honest and unbiased. 
Vicky had never felt that she didn't belong and wasn’t loved nor fitted in with her  family growing up so she couldn’t wait to have her very own family someday. 
Her wish gets granted when while on holidays in Greece she meets William and not only falls for him but falls pregnant too so he brings her to the UK to live with his family and his mother helps Vicky through a difficult pregnancy and everything goes well, until their son Theo is born!  
Then one day, when Theo is two years old Vicky gets into her car and drives away leaving Theo behind ..... How could a mother abandon the most important thing in her life???? You’ll have to read this fabulous book to find out !!!!!!

I love Kerry Fisher books so I couldn't wait to dive into her latest novel, The Mother I Could Have Been.  I experienced a wealth of emotions whilst reading this book; predominantly anger at the way Vicky is treated by her partner's mother, in fact I was absolutely raging and don't blame Vicky one bit for walking out.  Of course I can say that as I am not a mother, but I'm sure many people wouldn't be able to understand her walking out on her two year old son, Theo.

Oh Vicky, what can I say?  Vicky felt very pushed out when her mother had two children with her new partner; we'll never know how much was in her imagination but it affected Vicky so badly that she went to Corfu after her graduation and never saw her mother again.  Vicky meets William in Corfu and I really felt that she was just searching for the love that she was missing from her mother.  Be careful what you wish for, Vicky, as when she discovers she is pregnant she ends up moving in with William's family and his mother, Barbara, doesn't half like to take over.

I really wanted Vicky to stand up to Barbara, although William doesn't seem to manage it.  I knew this was going to end badly when they let Barbara talk them out of the name they had chosen for their son.  It gets even worse than that though, ending up with Vicky feeling like her son doesn't even like her, let alone love her.  So many things happen that you wonder how Vicky managed to stay in Barbara's house for so long and I could even understand her thinking that she was doing the best thing for everyone by walking out and never going back.

For a change of pace we are introduced to Caro and her family and I wondered how she would fit into the story.  Caro not only gives Vicky a job in the family business but she welcomes her into the family.  Despite having a tumultuous relationship with her own daughter, who I wanted to shake some sense into, Caro gives Vicky the unconditional love she has been craving and finally helps her to see what she has been missing.

This kind of story would make an amazing TV drama; it has all the drama of Dynasty with Barbara in an Alexis Colby style role contrasting with Caro as the motherly Annie Sugden from Emmerdale Farm.  Kerry Fisher has written an extremely emotive and highly explosive family drama that had me reading at the speed of light to find out how it would all play out.  Heartbreaking and moving one minute and heartwarming and uplifting the next, The Mother I Could Have Been is very highly recommended.

I chose to read an ARC and this is my honest and unbiased opinion.

I really like Kerry Fisher's writing but this book was a miss for me and I think that I will be in the minority here.  The Mother I could have been was a character driven complex family drama.  I think that it really bothers me to read about a mother leaving her child for any reason.  I felt that the book was rather drawn out and longer than was necessary.

Thanks to Netgalley and Bookouture for allowing me to read this Arc. A lovely story. I read it in one day because I couldn't put it down. It made me laugh and cry. A story of different family dynamics.

“The Mother I could have been”is a wonderful exploration of family dynamics, especially those between mother and daughter.
Relationships can be hard full stop but this novel highlights the often complicated and difficult relationship that can exist between any mother and her child/children. Most mothers are only ever trying to do their best for their offspring so when a woman is capable of abandoning her own son, in this case Vicky walking out on Theo,we struggle to understand how someone can cut all ties with their own flesh and blood. What exactly makes a woman feel this is the best and only option? And who are we to judge? 
Life is far from black and white and in this thought provoking and tender hearted novel, Vicky has plenty of reasons for such drastic action. Despite doing the unthinkable, I quickly warmed to her character especially when up against the extremely controlling Barbara, Vicky’s mother in law. Running away seems to be what Vicky does best, having left her own step family for the beach life in Greece, convinced that her step siblings come first in her mother’s eyes and that she herself has no secure foothold in her mother’s affections. 
The relationships in this book are all so true to life and could represent any family situation from sibling rivalry to domineering mothers to those simply torn between their offspring and forced to make choices and sacrifices they are uncomfortable with. Miscommunication, crossed wires can all too easily lead to battle lines being drawn which is evident in the storylines of these characters.
Caro’s story is heartbreaking, 
a woman who embodies all you think a mother should be, just trying to do her best, loving both her children equally but not so in her daughter Imogen’s eye. There is definitely sibling rivalry between her and her brother Fergus who manages the family’s holiday cottage business. Banned from seeing her grandchildren after a (hilariously portrayed) disastrous New Year’s Eve babysitting, Caro’s heart is torn in two as her daughter systematically begins to sever all ties in such a callous hard hearted way whilst maintaining minimal contact with her father Gilbert. The pain Caro feels at this estrangement is written about so eloquently as is the strain this places upon husband and wife.
For Vicky it’s a case of wherever I lay my hat that’s my home until her world collides with Caro, taking a live-in job marketing the holiday cottages. The impact  the developing relationship between Vicky and Caro has on Imogen and indeed both families is well portrayed. Can these relationships coexist side by side or will this end up tearing Caro’s family apart for good??
There is a depth to this novel that I didn’t anticipate and I couldn’t help but think about these themes on a personal level.
I think  the intricacies of a mother’s love is beautifully woven into this engaging storyline with characters that are believable and flawed and I absolutely loved it!!!  Easy to read and engrossing, the words flowed off the page.A five star read for me and most definitely recommend. 
Thanks as always to the author and publisher and Netgalley for allowing me to read in exchange for an honest review.

Deciding to indulge my loves of romantic suspense and family drama once again, I chose to read The Mother I Could Have Been - Kerry Fisher's latest release. I had no expectations going into this, being very much a Kerry Fisher novice, and it was a lovely surprise and such a pleasure that I enjoyed this story so much.

Vicky Hall grew up believing herself to be the least important person in her new step-family, ignored by her mother in favour of her two younger half-siblings. Always an afterthought and sitting alone at her graduation ceremony at the age of twenty-one, she vows to create her own family and her own life, one which is full of the love and attention she has always craved.

When Vicky takes a holiday in Greece that summer she decides to stay, meets William and falls pregnant, though it isn’t planned. The couple believe they can make their relationship work, so William takes Vicky back to his family home in the UK. They decide to stay there until they can afford to buy a home of their own. They have a son they name Theo and at last, Vicky feels complete as they shower their child with love which they hope will be enough. When Theo is two, Vicky leaves him in the care of Barbara, her mother-in-law, walks out of her front door and drives to a hotel where she takes a room for the night. She doesn’t return.

Told from the viewpoints of Vicky and Caro (one of Vicky’s many employers), this was an amazing read. When a new chapter opens in Vicky’s life, she finds solace in the company of Caro, her husband Gilbert and their son, Fergus. But they have their own trials and tribulations, in the form of their daughter, the thorny, awkward and demanding India. Another family with divisions no one sought yet existed primarily because of India's jealousy, immaturity, and emotional blackmail.

I loved Kerry Fisher's overall writing style and glorious characterisation and the story was meaningful, endearing and totally absorbing. Satisfying and ultimately hopeful, it was a cracking good read that brought no disappointments. I am looking forward to reading some of Kerry's other work, probably starting with 'The Woman I Was Before'. 

The Mother I Could Have Been is very highly recommended to those who like reading contemporary fiction with a good dose of realism.

I received a complimentary digital copy of this novel, at my request, from Bookouture via NetGalley and this review is my own unbiased opinion.

I thought I was going to love this. Mother-daughter relationships can be rewarding or  fraught with road blocks and misunderstandings. 
In the end I found I didn't relate to Fisher's work as I thought I would, evidenced by the fact that it took me so much longer to read than what a novel normally takes me.

A Bookouture ARC via NetGalley

Heart-breaking, emotional and thought-provoking, Kerry Fisher’s The Mother I Could Have Been is an incisive, captivating and intelligent read that will take over your life and linger in your mind long after you’ve turned the last page.

Vicky Hall has always been an outsider. Always feeling like an unwanted afterthought by her stepfamily, Vicky has grown up not knowing affection. Constantly slighted by her mother in favour of her younger siblings, Vicky doesn’t know the meaning of the words love and support, but as she sits by herself at the age of twenty-one during her graduation ceremony, a determined Vicky vows to change things. She is sick and tired of being alone and lonely and is adamant that she will no longer be on the outside looking in. She is going to have a family of her own and be showered by love, care and affection. But Vicky ought to be very careful what she wishes for because life is about to take her down a very dark and twisted path…

When Vicky meets William and she falls pregnant, she thinks that finally all of her dreams of having a family of her own are about to come true. Her pregnancy was not planned, but Vicky and William vow to make it work and to ensure that their child will have the best possible childhood. Vicky cannot wait to shower her child with all the love she has to offer, however, Vicky should know by now that things do not always go to plan – a cruel lesson which fate seems keen to keep on teaching her again and again…

One day, Vicky leaves her two year old son Theo with her mother in law. She walks out of her front door and books herself into a hotel room for one night. And does not return. What sort of mother abandons her own child? What kind of mother walks out on her own family and on an innocent and helpless child? Vicky was meant to be the best kind of parent. What drove her to leave her family behind? What is behind this seemingly selfish act of abandon? Is there more than meets the eye to this story? Or was Vicky just not cut out to be a parent?

The Mother I Could Have Been is immersive storytelling at its best! Kerry Fisher knows how to plumb the depths of the human heart and create a first rate tale that will get under your skin and keep you up all night desperately turning the pages. A well-written tale of sacrifice, family and the ties that bind and the bonds that break, The Mother I Could Have Been is a book you will want to tell your friends about – just make sure you warn them that they will not be getting any sleep until they finish it.

Million selling author Kerry Fisher’s writing goes from strength to strength and whether The Mother I Could Have Been is the first book of hers you’ve read or you are a devoted follower, one thing is for certain: you will certainly not be disappointed.