Families are hard to keep together.  Eleven harder when someone does something that people think a mother can never do, but our central character does it, seemingly without too much concern for all involved.  Slowly, we change and circumstances often offer us a do-over, if we have the courage and resolve to be honest.  Full of emotional twists., Fisher pulls us in and wrings us out.  I’ve read several of her novels and even with different storylines we always come back to tears and possible redemption.

Kerry Fisher has written a thought-provoking and emotion evoking story. The book delves deep into the mother daughter relationship. Vicki has felt that her mothers love was more focused on her half siblings ever since they entered the picture. Determined to make a life for herself she heads to Greece where she meets William. William, seems to be the answer to all her problems, then she gets pregnant.Soon she finds herself living with his parents back in the UK. His mom seems to be elated about having a grandchild, but after Theo is born she is a little too involved. This leads to Vicky packing up and leaving, without a trace and without Theo. CARO is the mother of two adult children and rents out holiday cottages. Her relationship with her daughter India is quite contemptuous. When Vicky and Caro’s paths cross they form a bond that leads them to healing and forgiveness.

   as a mother I had such a hard time with Vicky leaving little Theo behind. I tried not to judge and understand that she was insecure. I also understood that it would be tremendously difficult to have your child call his grandma mama and call you by your first name and to be scared of you. Why William did not stand up for her is beyond me, or even better why Vicky did not stand up for herself. But that leads back to the insecurity. Caro was a caring and loving mother with a daughter that can only be described as a total bitch. Her daughter India was such a piece of work, I cannot even imagine treating my mom that way or having my daughter treat me the way she treated her. There was so much miscommunication and unreasonable expectations in the story. Vicky’s relationship with her mother was heartbreaking as well. There were a few little twist and turns throughout the story, but this really was more of an emotional journey. I kept thinking what would I do in each of these mother’s situations? No easy answers. A beautifully told story with a satisfying ending.

This book in emojis. 🏖 🤰🏻 🐶 

*** Big thanks to Bookouture for my gifted copy ***

I have read and enjoyed a few of Kerry's books now.  She certainly knows how to write emotional and heart breaking stories that will tug on even the hardest of heartstrings- yes that includes mine.  By the time I finish one of Kerry's books, I am usually sniffing loudly and wiping tears away with a tissue.  I read the synopsis for 'The Mother I Could Have Been' and it certainly sounded as though I was going to be in for a hell of a tear-jerking read and I wasn't wrong either.  I did enjoy reading 'The Mother I Could Have Been' but more about that in a bit.
During the first half of the book, I veered between wanting to slap Vicky and wanting to give her a hug.  As I gradually learnt more about her and her back story I found myself developing more sympathy for her.  She doesn't enjoy the best of her relationships with her own mother.  Following her exams, Vicky goes abroad with her friend and her friend's family for a break.  Whilst there she drifts from relationship to relationship.  When she gets together with William, she falls pregnant and she thinks that finally here is her chance to be the mother she wants to be.  Her partner's family take her in.  It's as if she is drawn to other people's families and when they take her to their hearts, she gets afraid or paranoid and then sabotages her situation.  I did get the impression that Vicky feels smothered by her interfering mother-in-law and I did share her sense of frustration of how she is treated by her.  One day the unthinkable happens and Vicky walks out on her child and doesn't go back.  What has led to her seemingly 'abandoning' her child?  What is the truth of her relationship with her mother?  Is there a twist to the tale?  Well for the answers to those questions and so much more you are just going to have to read the book for yourselves to find out as I am not going to tell you.
I have to be honest and say that it took me a little while to get into this book.  That could be in part due to the fact that I was tired when I began to read and I was also finding it hard to concentrate.  I also found myself becoming increasingly irritated with Vicky but I just knew that I had to persevere with the book as there was bound to be a reason for the way in which Vicky behaves.  I am so glad that I persevered with the book because the more I read, the more absorbed by the story I became.  This wasn't a book that I could read in one big binge but I did manage to read the book over the course of a few days.  It was certainly an emotive read and one that is sure to stay with me for a long time to come.
'The Mother I Could Have Been' is beautifully and sensitively written but then I wouldn't expect anything else from Kerry Fisher.  She writes so movingly and compassionately that it is impossible not to become wrapped up in the story.  Kerry certainly knows how to grab your attention from the start and once she has your attention she doesn't release it until the moment you get to the end of the book.  Even then, the issues raised will stay fresh in your mind for a long time to come.  Kerry uses such vivid and realistic descriptions that I really did feel as though I was part of the story myself.  I found myself going through every emotion that the various characters were going through, which left me in a bit of an emotional state.
In short and overall, I did enjoy reading 'The Mother I Could Have Been' and I would recommend this book to other readers.  I will definitely be reading more of Kerry's work in the future.  The score on the Ginger Book Geek board is a very well deserved 4* out of 5*.

Kerry Fisher never stops amazing me. I first fell in love with Fisher’s writing style with her previous release, The Woman I was Before, and the gift she has of pulling you into a deep emotional story that will pull on your heartstrings. It is such a tall order when a synopsis boasts a story perfect for fans by such well known authors as Jodi Picoult and Diane Chamberlain and I must say Kerry Fisher really lives up to the hype set forth in the synopsis. Fisher writes with such raw emotion and realism that will leave you in tears. Yes, I did cry because The Mother I Could Have Been is such a tender, thought provoking and emotional look into family and life in general and what it means to be a mother.

Vicki Hall always felt like an outsider, even within her own family. Her mother is remarried with two new children and Vicki feels rather left out and unnoticed. Vicki thinks she would be better off on her own and sets out to make a life and family of her own. But, when she thinks she finally found her happily-ever-after, Vicki is in for an awakening when the same fears slowly crop up leaving her to abandon her two year old son, Theo, into the care of his father and mother-in-law. Will Vicki ever find her way back to her son?

I am not sure I can even begin to express how emotional and heartbreaking this story is. I am not a mother, but I do have a mother whom I am very close to and just the thought of ever leaving and losing touch is just devastating to me. While I can understand Vicki’s reasoning behind doing what she did, I don’t think she ever really thought things through. In a way, I guess she was young and naive and thought she was doing the right thing. While I may not have liked the “younger” Vicki or the decisions she made, Vicki did redeem herself as she got older and “wiser.” Vicki became a totally different person and it was so easy to see the changes she was going through as she made peace within herself for the actions in her past.

This story just grips you right from the start. I had a really hard time putting it down and found myself reading well into the night in part wanting to strangle Vicki, cry for her, or rejoice when she finally started coming into her own. I think in some ways readers can relate to something in this story as I think most of us have regrets in our past or even wondered if we could have done things differently. It really is an eye opener when a story can make you think about your own family dynamics.

The Mother I could Have Been is a heartfelt and honest look into families and what it means to be a mother with flaws and all. This is a definite five star read for me and if I could give it more stars I would! If you have not read anything by Kerry Fisher yet, come over here so I can slap you because you are truly missing out on a fantastic and beyond talented author.

With thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for the Arc, which I have enjoyed reading.
The Mother I Could Have Been by Kerry Wilkinson is a story about families and how they split away from each other and how some can get back in touch when they are ready to try again. Sometimes it can be too late, a parent has since died or have a serious illness. This storyline seems to have every possible combination of death, sickness and stubbornness that can cause separation in families. I enjoyed getting to know the characters, some of whom you as a reader get to like and others you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. I look forward to hearing from Caro, Gilbert, Vicky, Fergus and Theo again.
Highly recommended.

Growing up, Vicky didn’t have a mother who she could rely on.  As a young adult, Vicky struggles to find a path to a future that will make her feel happy and fulfilled.  When she falls pregnant, she thinks she has found love and family.  But when things don’t come easy to Vicky, Vicky takes off when her son is only two years old and feels everyone is better off without her.  She has failed to become a mother she wants to be. 
When she is given a second chance years later, she struggles to make the best decision for everyone. Vicky must find herself before she can be the mother she wants to be.

Two heroines, different generations, seeking to do what's best: emotionally profound👍👍
4.5🌟stars
👥Vicky and Caro -- two women of different generations and with divergent family situations but united in their need to reunite with estranged family.  Vicky, the younger of the two, began her problems by distancing herself from her mother.  Her emotions are conflicted when she herself becomes a mother and faces criticism and a lack of support from her partner and his family.  I found Vicky a confused soul, full of self doubt and afraid to trust her parenting abilities.  Caro, a settled mother and grandmother, deals with a daughter full of resentment, anger and jealousy.   Her struggle to keep her family together is no less compelling than Vicky's dilemma.  

Author Kerry Fisher has written a deeply profound tale of the complicated relations between mothers and daughters, but also how their issues impact the rest of their families.  I was really drawn into their story.  Realistically, there are repeated disappointments and missteps, but also some moments of joy and loving reminiscence.  Ultimately, despite their setbacks, happy times and healing are promised in the final Christmas scene, none more so than in the reappearance of a beloved granddaughter.  

Kerry Fisher is a new author to me and, based on my enjoyment of The Mother I Could Have Been, I will definitely be looking for more of her work.

Thanks to publisher Bookouture and NetGalley for providing a complimentary advance copy of the book;  this is my voluntary and honest review.

Favorite Quotes:

I couldn’t resist Rowan. He was my favourite by far because he was innately naughty. He hadn’t yet mastered the art of throwing a bomb and not being anywhere in the vicinity when it went off. I adored him.

I sometimes couldn’t believe she was my daughter, with her endless stream of rules and regulations. ‘Who is coming tonight?’ She managed to say it as though I’d have invited all the local miscreants and some dodgy men with an unhealthy interest in children.

You’re brilliant with customers. I love how you tell them to bugger off so politely they enjoy the journey.

It was amazing how clearly I could see the flaws in other people’s mothering but would need surgical intervention to patch up the gaping wounds in my own.

He carried the message like a wise man cupping a gift of myrrh, reverential, with a sense of ceremony, big man coming through with big news.

The woman pursed her lips so tightly, I wanted to tell her that in twenty years’ time, her lipstick wouldn’t bleed, it would haemorrhage .

You are such a drama queen. I don’t even recognise the childhood you think you had. No, Mum and Dad weren’t perfect, but they were good enough. You talk about them as though we were left chewing on scraps in a dungeon, fending for ourselves.


My Review:

I have a new favorite author - despite her heavy deployment of angsty and emotive story threads. I was so absorbed by her brilliantly insightful and evocative writing, complex and profoundly flawed characters, and witty wordplay that I didn’t seem to mind the eye-burning, heart-squeezing, or ire-producing storylines that I typically eschew. I was instantly mesmerized and sucked into this perceptive and thoughtfully crafted tale and resented any intrusion or interruption to my perusal for those unimportant distractions such as sleep, hygiene, whining husband, or nutritional sustenance. Kerry Fisher is a phenomenal writer with powerful word voodoo. I am driven to amass all her clever words and have added her entire listing to my TBR.

I love this author. She never disappoints. And this book - wow! Heartfelt and beautiful. It took me through a range of emotions and made me ponder as to what I would have done in similar circumstances. The characters are so real and they, along with their poignant story, will stay with me for a very long time. Beautifully written, this is a real treat of a book. Highly recommended to everyone.

Vicky a,ways felt that her  other o overlooked her in favour of her younger half  brother and sister. She vowed when she had her own family, she will love them all equally. So when Vicky meets William in Greece  she falls pregnant,  they marry and move back to England. One Christmas when her son Theo was two, Vicky walks out the family home, intending to stay I e  ight in a hotel room,  ut Vicky never returns. Vicky eventually meets and works for Caro, who has two adult children. Her son works in the family business but her daughter seems to pick fault in everything Caro does. Can the two women help each other to become the mothers they so much wanted to be?

This is a book about family relationships and expectations. I can not say I did not honestly like Vicky but I don't like people whom walk out on their responsibilities everytime something does not go their way. Caromis an older woman whose son works for the fa ily business and his sister is full of jealousy. The story is heartbreaking in parts. The story is told from Ficky and Caro's point of view. I am sure a ,ot of topics covered I  this story will resonate with some readers. A other well written book by the author. 

I would like to thank NetGalley, Bookouture and the author Kerry Fisher for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This is Vicky's' story. She lost her father at a young age, which was bad enough. But her mom remarried and had 2 more children. Vicky always felt like the odd person out. She perceived her mom spending all time and efforts on the younger children.

When her mom did not even attend her graduation from school, she decided then and there she would one day have her own family full of the love and attention she has always wanted.

On a trip to Greece, she meets William a free soul, sort of a surfer dude. But then Vicky gets pregnant and everything changes. She is welcomed into William's home with his mother and father and they absolutely adore the baby, Theo.

William grows up in a hurry and spends many hours at work. He encourages Vicky to work part time so they can afford to get their own placed. William's mother becomes Theo's carer.

Once again, Vicky feels adrift as William's mother encourages Theo to call her mamma .. and teaches Theo to cry and scream if Vicky even tries to pick him up.

She endures until she can no longer endure. Believing she is not a good mother and that Theo would be better off without her, she leaves ... never to return.

Not an easy thing to do .. leave a young child that you love with all your heart and soul. What kind of mother does that? The kind who is hiding a story you can never imagine.

This is a heart-wrenching tale of dysfunctional families, toxic relationships, second chances, love, miscommunication, impossible decisions. Get the tissues handy ... you'll need them.

This is so well written, I read it in one day. It was hard to put down, and when I did put it down, all the characters remained in my head ... and in my heart. The characters are finely developed ... and credible.

Many thanks to the author / Bookouture / Netgalley for the digital copy of this psychological family drama. Read and reviewed voluntarily, opinions expressed here are unbiased and entirely my own.

I absolutely loved this heartwrenching story of motherhood, the lies (and truths we believe) that we tell ourselves, and the shields we build to protect ourselves. I love the way this book made me think about the relationships that I have and what I would do to protect those people, and to question whether those decisions are selfish and right or wrong. I absolutely loved every page of this book and will certainly be reading more by this author.

My heart went out to Vicky, her mother had re-married and always seemed to put her two younger half-siblings before her, to the extent that she didn’t even attend her graduation due to a family emergency.

After university, Vicky escapes to Greece with her friends for a holiday and makes the decision to stay and find work there when her friends go home. When she meets William and falls pregnant, she vows that her child will have all the love the she missed out on. So why, two years later does she walk out on her husband and child!

This author words are achingly honest and sincere, none more so than when portraying the relationship between Vicky and her mother-in-law. 

You will not be able to put this book down.

This story is about a young insecure girl named Vicky Hall. She always thought of herself as not enough being a daughter of a woman who remarried and had 2 more children. She also thought of herself as less important. She then went away on a trip with her best friend Liv and her family and decided to stay. She then met William, became pregnant and even though they didn't get married, they are living together in his parents house.

I enjoyed reading the book so much. Especially how Caro's story is intertwined into Vicky's. This book is so much about family dynamics, relationships, how the children have a different understanding of how their parents raised them and why they did what they did. This is also about abandonment and how the characters coped with it. It is about a mother's unconditional love, her fears, her want to make everything almost perfect. 

This was such a complex, beautiful story of all the characters fused together in one book and they all made sense. It throws you different points of views and makes you think about your own life, too. 

#netgalley #themothericouldhavebeen #kerryfisher

As with every Kerry Fisher book once I start reading I cannot put the book down.  Vicky’s father dies when she is quite young. Her mother remarries and has two more children.  Vicky has always felt the outsider, so after university she goes on holiday to Greece with her best friend and her family.  The friend and her family returns to the UK but Vicky stays on.  She finds a job in a bar and starts an affair with the owner.  Whilst on the beach one day she meets William, who sweeps her off her feet. They return to the UK and stay with William’s very uptight mother.  The story continues from here, I will not spoilt it.  One hint, keep tissues nearby.  This book made me laugh and cry, I loved every page.

Vicky Hall has a feeling she’s not enough for anyone, including her family. She thinks that wherever she is, she’s a nuisance to everyone around her and that if one day she disappears, no one will miss her. She’s so tired of piling up disappointments, she’s decided to change her life without telling anyone.

It begins with a holiday that lasts longer than expected and that after a while become an indefinite stay until she comes up with something better to do with her life. She’ll get carried away and not plan anything long-term.

And so, Vicky goes on changing her life without stopping to think about what she’s doing, where she’s going or the consequences of her actions. She gradually loses contact with her mother and all her past. She closes the doors to her real life and takes refuge in this new one that has been created.

It was a big surprise to discover her pregnancy, but she assumes the situation naturally. She’ll do for her son everything she thinks they didn’t do for her. She will give him love, security and stability. A home he always wants to go back to and she’ll be a mother who’ll be there whenever he needs her, not like her mother who postponed her to any eventuality.

Gradually Vicky adapts to this new life as a mother. For the first time she feels she’s where she belongs, surrounded by people who love her and take into account. At first they were small gestures, things that only she noticed but that go further with the passage of time. Situations that bring her back to the past and push her to do what she’s so good at, run away.

But the past always comes back to everyone, even Vicky and this time she will have no choice but to face up and face all her fears. The Mother I Could Have Been is a story very well written, complex, sad and full of very interesting reflections on life, love, the family. On the importance and complexity of relationships between human beings.

Vicky is a very complex character that is unveiled in layers, each more complex than the previous one. She is a woman with very low self-esteem and so much in need of love that she is not able to see beyond herself and her needs. She’s so focused on her and her problems that she doesn’t see everything around her. But she is also a smart, charismatic woman who is able to reinvent herself whenever necessary.

The Mother I Could Have Been turned out to be a very different novel from what I had originally expected. I was very surprised especially by the unexpected twists of the plot, when you think you’re moving in one direction everything changes again.
An essential and impressive novel that left me with a reading hangover. Highly recommended.

I struggled to get into this book. The addition of Caro did not make sense with the rest of the story and at first I was lost reading her story. I was fascinated by Vicky’s story. I enjoyed her character and felt she was a very strong person despite leaving her son. She felt she was doing the best thing for him and never stopped thinking of him. I wish the story had expanded on Vicky’s story.

This is a book that once I picked up, it totally consumed me. I ended up reading it in one evening as I was so absorbed by what was in front of me and I had to see how everything was going to end.

Vicky is going to be a character that people are going to ask themselves what they would do in her position. I know I did. As a mother could I ever just walk away? Reading her story though, I had every empathy and could understand why she does what she did.

The story starts off with Vicky and then alternates between Vicky and another mother Caro. Caro even though a lot more maturer in age than Vicky, has issues of her own with her grown up daughter India. I could easily fill a few pages of my thoughts on India. So many times I wanted to give her a good slap and take her down a peg or two.

In a way we see motherhood at two very different stages. With Vicky, the early stages and feeling like you are never quite good enough and the constant self doubts. Caro, we get to see what it’s like in the later years. With a daughter dealing with jealousy and using her children as a bargaining tool to get at her parents. Something that I can not abide.

This is a story very much about bonds and the relationship between parent and child. Vicky’s relationship with her own mother was heartbreaking and in a way, an eye opener. As was India’s with Caro. It makes you sit back and take stock of your own childhood as well as your relationship with your siblings and parents.

The Mother I Could Have Been is an eye opener of a read. It made me reevaluate things in my own life. I loved this insight into motherhood as it really got into my head and heart. It was a story I didn’t want to end as a few of the characters in this book stole a piece of me. A meaningful and endearing read that fully embraced me and didn’t let me go. An absolute must read.

I have loved every book I’ve read by this author and this is no exception. I loved it. I didn’t want it to end. Excellent read.

I've read a number of books by Kerry Fisher and she is always consistent, which is not to say her books are boring, not al all! They are engaging and well written with characters that feel real, as was the case once again with The Mother I Could Have Been. Recommended!