As a fan of the author, I was disappointed with this one. I found it hard to connect with the character, although I did love the diversity. The transitions between the role playing game and the real life were kind of confusing. I also found the flow of the narrative to be slow.

Nijkamp's latest is a thriller that delivers the perfect level of chills.
Five friends who have been drifting apart meet one last time for a farewell bonding session, hosted in a cabin in the woods. A cabin that just happens to be located in an area that is well known as a setting for local ghost stories.
With lots of foreshadowing and a plot that goes from subtly spooky to "oh my goodness, what is happening?!?!", this novel kept me reading without pause from the first page to the last.

This was extremely suspenseful, which was just perfect. My attention wasn't completely grabbed throughout the whole of the book, and I felt my attention straining a lot of the time.

Oh dear, I really had such high expectations from this horror mystery – but it failed to leave a mark on me.
Five friends; from different walks of lives who have had only one thing in common – a RPG that they all immerse themselves in; come together to play one last game, before they all move on with their lives. Once best friends, recent events have led their friendships to be fractured to a point that none of them believe could be repaired, but they aren’t willing to give up either.

First, let me just say, the representation of transgender as well as non – binary kids with a role playing game set in a cabin in the woods that has its own haunting tales is sort of the PERFECT setting for a weekend of macabre and horror – and it does work; but only up to a certain part.

Even If We Break worked like a charm to hold my attention for a while – we get multiple PoVs as well as the history amongst these friends and the scintillating peeks into the secrets they all have – and when things start going wrong with their RPG, it had me at the edge of the seat, not just with excitement but with horror as well.
But that’s exactly when thing started to go wrong; for the book and for the reader as well – because it didn’t take a genius to figure EXACTLY who the perpetrator was and every plot twist hence started going downhill , since it got boring – and last, but definitely not the least; there is absolutely no closure at the end of the book – okay, I get that the characters were supposed to grow and mature; but the where does the consequence come into play her? Let me tell you, I need closure when it comes to standalones okay – so an epilogue would have been appreciated it; actually no it was expected.

A great foundation and start to a horror mystery/thriller, that fell short of expectations.

Even If We Break by Marieke Nijkamp was not the book for me! I didn't enjoy it at all, and I breathed a sign of relief when it was over.

Even if We break is being described like Cabin in the Woods but this is incorrect. The story set up is much more like Until Dawn. The characters are all harboring secrets and there is cunning and deceit at every move. I was engaged in this book almost as much as I was in the video game.
Marieke Nijkamp packs a diverse group of friends into a "haunted" cabin. Each character has some issues whether it is physical, mental, or other. Teens will see representation for the trans community as well as those with autism. Nijkamp doesn't just slap a "designation" on these characters. They are fully formed characters that can only come from someone who understands what it's like to be different.
Writing-wise, at first I had trouble keeping up with how is who. The chapters move focuses across all five main characters and when you are learning all the characters it can get overwhelming.
Other than that the writing is strong. This isn't as good as Before I Let Go but better than This is Where It Ends. Even if We Break stands on its own as a creepy story bringing an aspect of live-action role-playing and haunted houses.

Even If We Break by Marieke Nijkamp is a YA thriller about a group of friends, a role-playing game, and a cabin in the woods (up a mountain). It has strong geeky sensibilities (they are, after all, playing an RPG), but is technically non-SFF, though I expect there's be a lot of SFF fans who would enjoy it regardless.

FIVE friends go to a cabin.
FOUR of them are hiding secrets.
THREE years of history bind them.
TWO are doomed from the start.
ONE person wants to end this.
NO ONE IS SAFE.


Are you ready to play?

In this novel, a group of friends go on a last getaway to mend bridges and play one last RPG campaign before some of them go off to college. The story is told through alternating points of view, cycling through all five characters. Aside from being geeky, Even if We Break also has very strong disability and trans representation, dealing with characters in a variety of circumstances.

Nijkamp excels at cramming a lot of action into a short space of time, as evidenced by This Is Where It Ends, which is called "54 Minutes" in some translations. Even if We Break is no different. Although the story starts relatively up-beat (aside from the lingering issues the characters are hoping to overcome over the weekend) but quickly become tense as things turn ugly. The five characters all have distinctive voices and I found it easy to keep the different characters straight in my mind.

I recommend Even If We Break to fans of YA thrillers and to people who wished Pretty Little Liars had disability representation and good trans representation. I expect fans of RPGs and LARPs, including readers who don't usually read non-SFF, will still find much to enjoy in reading about the friends' game and the way in which this is linked to the action. I will certainly continue to pick up Nijkamp's books as they come out.

4.5 / 5 stars

First published: September 2020, Sourcebooks Fire
Series: No
Format read: eARC
Source: Publisher via NetGalley

I love Marieke Nijkamp and this new release did not disappoint! It was twisty, it was creepy, I loved it. Also it was a very very fast read and kept me turning page after page!

I went into this book completely blind. I knew it had a cool cover and it looked a little creepy or culty. While I was wrong about the cult part this turned into a mystery thriller that I could not put down! I enjoyed the diverse character, the setting, and the incorporation of an RPG board game. The only thing that I had problems with was that after the climax I felt like it dragged out a little. I would recommend this to anyone looking for a thriller mystery! Great read, I look forward to reading more from this author.

As a big fan of Marieke Nijkamp's other novels, I was very excited to hear about the plot of Even If We Break. Five teens in a isolated cabin playing a role playing game with a twist? Sounds weird and fun- I'm into it. Moreover, the inclusivity of a variety of characters from differing identities is done is a genuine and authentic way. However, the book quickly fell flat to me. The RPG itself took up too much of the book, becoming too much of the content, as opposed to just the background. I felt confused and annoyed by it, as I was more interested in the characters lives. Also, the murderer is really obvious. It was so obvious, that I was sure I was wrong and that there would be some kind of epic twist that would have me gasping, but there wasn't. Overall, a disappointment after how much I liked This Is Where It Ends.

Since I usually don't really read thrillers I went completely open into Even If We Break and let me tell you it was a very suspenseful ride. Even If We Break is a story about 5 friends who go away for the weekend to a cabin to play their usual roleplaying game. All 5 of them are carrying secrets and their friendship isn't as it used to be. When the murder mystery part of their game becomes a reality, things take a turn for the worse.

In my opinion there were a few elements that made this story so great. The local ghost story really set the tone from the first page. The cabin in the woods atmosphere. 5 unique and diverse characters who all have secrets they want to remain secret. A role playing game turning into a real life murder mystery. So much suspense! Also a lot of representation that I was impressed with.

My suspicion on the identity of the 'villain' was wrong but after the reveal a lot of dots were connecting. The last few chapters after the reveal and conclusion felt a bit drawn out, but I very much enjoyed Even If We Break and I am very excited to read more of Marieke Nijkamp's works.

EVEN IF WE BREAK by Marieke Nijkamp | Grade: C | No spoilers ahead.
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A few years ago, I read the timely school-shooting centered YA novel, This Is Where It Ends by Marieke Nijkamp. While many fell in love with the popular novel, I struggled to connect with the characters, get caught up in the novel’s plot, and even, feel the thrill/stress of the plentiful tense situations. While I was hoping this was a one-off problem with the author given that I am always intrigued by this author’s premises, I feel the same way about this novel. What was advertised as kind of a cross-over between Escape Room and something like All Your Twisted Secrets by Diana Urban fell flat on all accounts. The plot felt dull. There was hardly an suspense. And further, there were simply too many characters to keep up with. Every time you felt like you were finally getting a handle on one character, it would switch to another point of view and then the process would start all over again. The only redeeming quality was the ample and respectful LGBTQ+ representation. It goes without saying that this such an important aspect of YA literature. Overall, this one fell short of most expectations I had going in. Maybe others will enjoy it more than I did. All I know is that I won’t be jumping to reread this novel or anything like it in the near future. A very special thank you to @netgalley and @sourcebooksfire for an advanced copy of the novel. While I of course appreciated this opportunity, my review is presented without bias.

First of all let's get it out of the way: the serial killer, local legend spooky suspense vibes? They were so good. Loved it. But this author's work is full of intense and emotional themes, plus an usually chilling voice. I expected nothing less, and was not at all disappointed. And to credit the author again I loved the RPG framing of the whole novel. I know nothing about RPGs beyond that a lot of people like them and think they're really fun. But I loved the idea of wrapping the group's story inside a larger mystery. The framing was very well done too.

Now I just have to say there's so much rep in here. Trans, disability, poor, PTSD, and autistic rep. All of it is right there, chilling on the page. Doing great. So anyone who says these things can't be done, I'd like to point you in Marieke Nijkamp's direction. You could learn a few lessons from them.

And speaking of rep . . .

"I try to focus, but there's a disconnect between my body and my mind, like nothing about it fits anymore. I don't feel like I belong in this body, I don't know how to interact with this world. It feels like I'm observing through a veil, and I don't know how to move. Panic is a type of pain too."

This quote. So much. I felt it.

God I just loved Maddy. I am not autistic so I cannot make any claims to the autistic rep. My opinion on this means nothing. However I am ADHD and there is a lot of overlap between the two, including in how we deal with stressors. As someone with ADHD I saw a lot of myself in Maddy's coping mechanisms and character. It was so nice to see someone with the not-as-nice side of things on the page. I defer to autistic readers on how well that rep was done, but I enjoyed seeing something relatable to me on page.

I live for the pain and awareness of the group's impending friendship implosion. As an adult I've been in friendships that fell apart, and I've seen people fight to keep their friendships together when they didn't work. I was one of them. I think it's good and healthy for teenagers to see this. Even outside of everything else, if I just isolate this one thread of the story, I think it's so important and well-done.

I was disappointed in the killer's identity because it seemed like the obvious choice to me. And I'm going to contradict myself here because I absolutely loved how bloodthirsty and emotionless the killer was. They had, what they thought, were the right reasons to do what they did. Would it make sense to logical people with any sort of conscience? No, not even a little. But I loved how we got in their head and saw their reasoning in a way that almost made sense if you were to think about things like they do. I would've liked to see that laid out more, as opposed to the excess in the ending.

Said ending dragged on a bit too much for me. It could've been wrapped up a lot quicker. And I feel like if we had gotten a little more of the killer's POV in the end and a little less of the actual final chapters, this would've been a better novel in my eyes.

Still, it was a great book. I genuinely, really liked it. I think a lot of people will, too. I was recommending it already while I was in the middle of it. And it was such a quick read, too. Even with the parts that ended up being more meh than wow I think it was a great book. I would definitely read it again. I think if suspense and thrillers are your thing, with mild paranormal, magical, and slight (I'm talking slight) horror elements, you should read this book. 4/5 stars, easy.

A wonderful idea to bring in not only the mystery genre that so many love, but to also add in the dungeons and dragons theme that many individuals know, love, and love to read about. I love all the characters and it kept me on my toes throughout the novel as I tried to work with the characters to figure out who did it.

Having read Marieke Nijkamp novels before, I always have high hopes I’m going to enjoy them. Two previous five star reviews on This Is Where It Ends and Before I Let Go had me eager to read Even If We Break.

I will start by saying I love the array of characters we get in this book. We get the rich, somewhat snobby girl, the wanna be rich boy, two similar, but still very different LGBTQ members, some from lower income classes, and all have come together to form this diverse group that just so happen to love the same thing… role play! While they are together for one last time after the previous year or so has torn them apart as a group and as individuals, creepy stuff starts happening. Some go missing, pools of blood, noises that shouldn’t be there… all these add up to one horrifying night.

While I enjoyed the general story, I had a few qualms about this book. My first was that they spoke in RPG lingo often while they were playing the game, and I get the point of it, but as someone who is very unfamiliar with role playing and game play such as this, I was very confused at times. I was eager to move past those moments. Also be prepared for the use of they/them when describing an individual. One of the characters identifies that way and I kept having to clear my head because grammatically I was confused, but I got the hang of it quickly.

The next thing that bothered me was sometimes it felt that the characters were just incessantly babbling on about their feelings or their lives. The same thought would be repeated four different ways and take up pages and pages of time. Those are the moments I found myself struggling to read on. Those could have easily been cut down a bit and still had the same impact on the story without just taking up space. I’ll call it a slip in writing style, if you will. Usually Nijkamp is concise, yet detailed. This time it just rambled a bit at times.

With those two things out of the way, and yes they did disturb me enough to affect the overall rating I was giving this novel, the general story was good and the suspense and fear level was high. I found it was hard to read this book before bed because it gave me the creeps and had me hearing and thinking things I should not before I fall asleep. The fact that Nijkamp could creep me out that much was impressive. Probably my favorite part of reading this novel.

Overall I am still a fan of Nijkamp and will continue to read her books as she releases them. This was not my overall favorite due to some of the quirks I didn’t exactly love, but I still enjoyed it. Especially all that suspense! If you like YA Fiction and you love a good scare, pick up Even If We Break.

I really loved the setting of this novel as well as the diverse cast of main characters. The author is excellent at delving into the thoughts, motivations and emotions of her characters. The live action role playing aspect of the story was fun to read. The twist at the end was a wonderful surprise! I would definitely read more books by this excellent author!

Five teenagers come together to play an RPG. The five began as friends, brought together by their need to belong to a group and their love of the game. They have all become different persons than their younger selves with all of the angst and complications that come with teenagers. On the edge of adult life and responsibilities, they gather to try and capture the fun and companionship the game provided in the beginning.

These five meet in a cabin in a wooded area that belongs to one of the players' parents. The seclusion allows the players to set the perfect atmosphere while insuring no one interrupts their play. Marieke Nijkamp has done an excellent job of building this backstory. You can see the trees and feel the eerie tension that seems to come out of nowhere. The game begins, the players move....and someone dies.

A really good book. Target audience is younger adults but I enjoyed the story too. I'd not read any of Nijkamp's titles before. This one gives me reason to search her back library for my next read.

This thriller/suspense book is a bit slow burn as I expected buuuut let me tell you this...
when the action starts happening, it's a wow. I can't put down the book that easily. I seriously love the mystery behind all of the characters.

There are 5 characters in this beautiful book; Finn, Liva, Ever, Carter and Maddy. Each of the characters are not perfect, different kinds of flaws and all of them have secrets to hide to each other. They went to Liva's cabin that weekend to have one last game to play together but everything went mysteriously crazy. There are parts of the book that confuses especially when they started the game but other than that it's a really great suspense book. I really love the concept and this mostly reminds me of a gameplay called "Until Dawn '' except the wendigo part, and I just really love this kind of book. This is the kind of book that keeps me awake at night and makes me wonder who's been doing these crazy things. I really love the mystery that hides and lures around the characters as well.

Multiple POVs are always an absolute plus for me because I love knowing each side of the characters' stories, especially for this book. Their perspective giving me their insights and knowing their absolute flaws is horrible and heartbreaking. There's really been much going on to this book and everything was written beautifully.

Overall, the book is great for fall reads. I recommend this kind of reading and I absolutely love to read more to the author as well.

Rapidly becoming a favorite author. For her flawless writing and plots that keeps you engrossed from page one. There are twists and turns that seem to come out of nowhere. Highly recommended. Definitely worth picking up. Happy reading!

I made it to the 30% mark in this one. I just couldn't bring myself to care about what was going to happen. I think it was because there were so many characters and they all sounded the same. I couldn't tell the difference between any of the voices and even after 30% of the book, I didn't know much about any of them. And nothing notable happened at all.