Gretchen and Jax's story of second chances is told in a very interesting way. Gretchen's brain injury causes her to lose memory of the last 4 years. And quite a lot has happened in those 4 years - the biggest being the deterioration of their relationship. Even though Gretchen does not remember everything that led to their break-up, Jax does. And when Gretchen is eager for them to continue their relationship, Jax finds it very challenging because she remembers all the pain that caused them to separate. As Gretchen begins to work on figuring out what went wrong and how to fix it, will it be too late?
I really enjoyed the twist in the story with Gretchen's memories. I'm still trying to figure out which memories were real and which ones were fake!

Wow! What an emotional roller coaster. My biggest take away from the story is this: Love Wins! No matter what life brings you or what relationship struggles come up when a person chooses to love, love wins! I honestly would love to see a novella or a sequel just to check in with these characters. Or even a book featuring Amanda and seeing glimpses of Jax and Gretchen. M. Ullrich is an amazing Storyteller And easily will get you sucked into her written world. I’m looking forward to reading more of her books!

Gretchen Mills thought she had it all. That was until the unthinkable happened. Her wife, after being together for 17 years just ups and leaves. She didn’t need Jax anymore, her and their son will be fine. She has her work that to anyone looking on would assume she loves, seeing as she spends as much time as possible at her office. Making the extra money was just one of the perks.
Jax Levine shared her life with the love of her life, Gretchen and of course their young son. When Gretchen started practically living at her office Jax thought it would just be while Gretchen’s office was working on a new project but it soon became obvious that Gretchen would rather be at work instead of being with Jax.
The divorce process was coming to an end. All that was left to do was sign the papers. They would share their son and try to stay out of each other's way. Jax had moved on, she had a girlfriend but truth be known she still loved Gretchen. The same day she gets the divorce papers, needing her signature, she gets a call telling her she was still listed as Gretchen’s person to call in case of an emergency. Apparently Gretchen fell down the stairs at work and was now in serious condition with a head injury. She can’t remember a thing, you know like the fact that she and Jax were not together any more. In the meantime she couldn’t be left alone so it becomes Jax’s and Gretchen's sister's job to help her get her life back on track. But for the life of her she just can’t figure out what’s wrong with Jax. Did she really want a divorce? And why was Jax trying to avoid her?
I’ve had the pleasure of reading Ms Ullrich books and enjoying them all. Her stories always have a nice pace with just enough little twists and turns to make this book another one, you will have a hard time putting down. Very, very nice read.
ARC via NetGalley/ Bold Stroke Books

I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review of the story.

The story has a few plots that intersect. One - longtime partners who've grown apart. Two - parenting when you're not in love anymore. Three - unexpected second chances. Do you take the chance and hope to repair the damage to your lives?

The story m9ves quickly and is very relatable. Neither character is a total saint or sinner. But you grow to like them and root for them to find a happy ending.

But what do YOU consider to be the right ending?

I highly reccomend this author's work.

I never know what to expect when I pick up a book written by M. Ullrich. I went into this read knowing one character had suffered a traumatic brain injury and assumed by the blurb that the amnesia angle would resolve resulting in reconciliation or heartbreak for Jax and Gretchen. With Ullrich you can never be sure.

What the Heart Remembers Most is anything but predictable. Halfway through the book I was unsettled and confused and questioning what was real and what I had missed. Kudos to the author for complicating what could have been just another amnesia/second chance romance.

This is a full on angst filled drama which pulls you in and makes you choose sides in a failing marriage. I was impressed with the way the book is structured. It jarred my sense of what was happening and forced me to change allegiance in who I felt was at fault for the disintegration of a once loving relationship. This is not a fluffy read. It's raw and cruel at times. Jax wears her emotions like a shield, a battered warrior unable to take more abuse yet fully aware of the love she once had for Gretchen. Gretchen has no idea what has caused the rift between her and Jax and little understanding of this now cold and distant woman she still loves.

If you are tired of cookie cutter romances then this is a must read. When I read the last page I went back and started rereading the book from the beginning to better understand some of the conversations I glossed over in my initial read. Clever, challenging book.

4.5 Stars

eARC received with thanks from publisher via NetGalley for review.

I am still coming down from my emotional high from this book. What a phenomenal story!

So it's 2 am and I've just finished What the Heart Remembers Most, and I am sobbing while typing up my review notes in my phone… Why? Because this book broke me and then put me back together again.

M. Ullrich is a favourite of mine because of her out of the box writing and her ability to wreak havoc on my poor heart, but by the end, making me feel emotionally sated. It's a tricky combination that she just gets right, every time. This book is above all others in that regard.

I felt so much for Gretchen when she wakes from a harrowing accident to find out that her life is no longer what she remembers. The woman she is devastatingly in love with is no longer hers. Every moment when Gretchen would learn something new and hurtful about her relationship with Jax, the further her heart broke, and as the reader, I felt like I was on that journey with her. I kept crying during these scenes because I felt what she was feeling. It was scary but intoxicating at the same time. I couldn't put the book down.

Jax, I just wanted to hug and tell her everything would be ok. She was a beautiful soul that got lost just as much as Gretchen had. I kept shouting in my head to the book "You are both meant for each other! COMMUNICATE!" But they didn't hear my woe's.

This is where I need to watch what I say next because with every M. Ullrich book there are big twists and extensive turns and trust me you do not want me to spoil Jax and Gretchen's Journey for you. I will say this Gretchen and Jax are soul mates and if you are a romantic like me, then they deserve your time because no other couple deserve the Happy Ever After like they do.

The chemistry between Jax and Gretchen is different from normal books because you're seeing them after seventeen years together. They have an underlying connection that you know is there but don't see until Gretchen wakes up. It's obvious that these two have chemistry and when they do hit the sheets, they set them on fire, but it's the unspoken connection that really had me glued to the page. The love that conquers the hurt. Now that was unbelievable.

Like I said, I am a massive M. Ullrich fan, and I typically rate her books five stars because I love her writing. But one book has always been at the top of the list, and that's Life in Death. Her other books have come close too but never quite get top billing like Life in Death does. Well, that my friends has just happened because What the Heart Remembers Most is standing toe to toe with it, fighting for top spot. In fact, it's probably at the top. Go do yourself a favour and grab this book… You can thank me later!

Star Rating:
5 stars

Netgally Review:

I was interested, I was curious, I was entertained from beginning to end. 3 stard for What the Heart Remembers Most.

What the Heart Remembers Most by M. Ullrich is the kind of novel that will send your emotions on a roller coaster ride. This is the story of a couple who fell in love in college, got married, had a child, and then slowly let their careers and life tear them apart. At the beginning of this tale, they are in the middle of a messy divorce. Then fate steps in with a near death experience that includes a partial memory loss in one character, and suddenly there is a chance…maybe, to love again. It’s a hard road, though, filled with lots of hurt and anger.

Ms. Ullrich has written a beautiful romance with this book that delves into how a loving couple can end up almost destroying their love through neglect and lack of communication. This is an angst ridden story that will pull at your heartstrings so hard you may hear them protest the harsh treatment, but don’t let that stop you from reading this book. It is beautifully written with characters you can easily connect with because they are so human. It discusses some very real circumstances that many of us have or will experience in our own lives, and it does have an uplifting message to share.

I’m glad I chose to read this novel, and I can easily recommend it to all who love a great angsty romance. Just be prepared with a box of tissue nearby…make that two boxes just in case.

I received an ARC from NetGalley and Bold Strikes Books for an honest review.

There is something very appealing about a romance that uses amnesia as as a vehicle to open the door to the possibility of a second chance in floundering relationship. I love this concept because it’s a way to introduce backstory. Backstories always add more dimension and layers, especially to the emotional elements of a story. They reveal a character’s strengths and exposes their vulnerabilities. This also holds true for the relationships in a story, and that’s just what happened here in What the Heart Remembers Most. We are able to see what bought Jax and Gretchen together, and why they should fight to stay together.

Jax has this tough exterior, but in reality she is very sensitive and creative. Art is a medium she often employs to connect with the people in her life. In fact, it’s her go-to with her son. Along with being artistic, she is loyal and protective. However, she has some issues concerning abandonment. She often questions the depth of love and commitment others have for her. It is understandable considering she grew up in foster care. Unfortunately, these fears negatively impact her relationships, especially hers and Gretchen’s. These doubts and uncertainties poke their way into their life together well before Gretchen’s accident, and they persist well after it.

Gretchen, for storyline purposes, is more or less subdivided into two different characters. There is the “Before Accident Gretchen” and there is the “After Accident Gretchen.” I immediately connected with the “After Accident Gretchen.” We meet her first and are empathetic because of her situation. She is vulnerable, confused and scared. Her amnesia leaves her with huge holes in her memory, and she doesn’t understand much of her current life. However, she knows one thing, for sure. She loves Jax. She remembers that above all else.

The “Before Accident Gretchen” really acts as a catalyst for transformation, fostering changes in her and her relationship with Jax. Over the course of time, this “Before Accident Gretchen” has become a bit unappealing. She’s become stubborn and preoccupied with work, even to the detriment of her marriage. Her priorities and career choices are a thorny subject for the couple, often igniting fierce fights. However, when “After Accident Gretchen” collides with “Before Accident Gretchen,” some serious reflection takes place. It stirs a deep desire in her to change. She longs to be a better person and save her marriage.

This story is not a light read. There is sadness and pain that must be dealt with by both characters. Gretchen must change, Jax must forgive, and they both must let go of past hurts. The reader’s emotions are toyed with along the way and things get a little angsty. The storyline takes a few unexpected turns, and you won’t see them coming. They are well played and add to the overall storytelling. Employing this literary device reveals Ullrich’s depth as a writer.

All in all, if you enjoy second chance romances, What the Heart Remembers Most would be a nice addition to your reading pile. Without a doubt, the story’s cleverly done plot keeps things interesting and engaging. In my final analysis, I give this book an enthusiastic thumbs up.

Gretchen and Jax are heading for divorce when Jax gets a call that Gretchen is hurt. Gretchen wakes up from a coma with amnesia losing 4 years of her life. And thinks they are still happily married. Gretchen and Jax. While recovering Gretchen struggles with the question of how her marriage broke and who she became.

The story is heartbreaking. Gretchen wakes up and learns she is separated and her wife seemingly has moved on. It all looks very hopeless. The writer takes you through the point of view of the amnesia mind of Gretchen.
Jax is still hurting from their break up and doesn't believe the accident changed Gretchen.

All until the end, it leaves you wondering if they'll have their happy end.

In the category of divorce themed lesbian fiction, this one certainly is unique and pretty good.

Thank You to NetGalley, Bold Strokes Books and M. Ullrich for the opportunity to read this book in advance for my honest opinion. All opinions are mine!

Gretchen is running late to a Fourth of July barbeque and rushing to get home to her wife Jax and baby boy Caleb. Only it’s not July, and Caleb isn’t a baby anymore, and Jax moved out a month ago. After slipping on ice, Gretchen Miller suffers a brain injury that leaves her in a coma. When she wakes up, she learns that she has lost the last four years of her memory, and her life is not what she thought it’d be and she doesn’t know where it all went wrong. Jax knows, though, and it’s torturing her to relive every fight and heartbreaking moment. She is torn between being at the bedside of her first true love, or to move on with her life with her new girlfriend. After 17 years together, is this Gretchen and Jax getting a second chance to love each other how they once had?

Gretchen must come to terms with her injuries and her new reality. Every day she is faced with new obstacles and past mistakes, but it only encourages her more. Gretchen is not ready to give up on her marriage and her family. Jax is hurt by what happened between her and Gretchen, and even more hurt that it never even happened according to Gretchen. Jax doesn’t want to hurt Gretchen, she’s just had four years to stop loving Gretchen the same way. Caleb is the thread that keeps their family together, reminding them of all they had hoped for and all that they had gotten together.

M. Ullrich takes us on an emotional rollercoaster as we watch two women struggle to figure out what it means to be in love and just how far they’ll go to fight for that love.

This book............. was a hard one for me to rate at the moment. I didn't realize when I first picked this one up that I'd be going through a divorce myself while reading it. Take my review with a grain of salt when you decide whether or not to pick this one up since my current life situation likely plays into my thoughts on this story.

Jax and Gretchen very obviously love each other, but life has gotten in the way of thier happily ever after together. Between a baby, career goals / ambitions and an accident that's left Gretchen with amnesia, the two are struggling to figure out if they can find a way back to each other or if all roads will lead to a divorce for them.

Even with my own personal divorce being a good thing and my choice, this was still a tough read for me at this time in my life. Ullrich's characters are so well fleshed out and the massive angst and drama that surrounds them in this second chance romance novel was a hard read for me at times. This isn't a fluffy, happy story folks. It's raw, riveting, and in many ways, very ambitions. Ullrich really took a chance with some of the writing in this one and while I didn't personally love all of the choices she made, it's still a wonderful story.

I don't want to give away too much and ruin the twist for those who haven't read this one, but my biggest complaint would be that it felt a bit odd about 50% of the way through this read. I was paying attention to the time and date markings at the headings of the chapter, but still had a bit too much of a deja vu feeling to truly love this one. It has a touch of a "Groundhog's Day feel to it and the repetitiveness did bother me personally. I love that Ullrich took the chance and deviated from the norm though!

If you're looking for an angsty, drama filled novel that will have you feeling like you're on a roller coaster, this will be a perfect book for you. 3.75 stars.

**Many thanks to Bold Strokes for providing me with an ARC in exchange for my honest review.**

2.5 Stars. Jax Levine gets a call that her soon to be ex-wife, Gretchen Mills is in the hospital after falling in front of her office stairs on some ice. Jax rushes to the hospital and finds out that Gretchen has lost the memories of the last four years. The last three years have been contentious between the two of them and had moved towards the option for divorce. Gretchen also thinks their child, Caleb is only a baby when he is already four and a half. Jax is unsure how to feel about all of this as she still loves her wife but is unsure if her wife even cares about her anymore. Gretchen was always working and never spending time for her.

This book was just okay. It seemed a bit repetitive and I have read better amnesia stories than this one. This one gets a big strange and I did not like the direction it took. I really wanted to like this book more as I liked the characters in the book. Gretchen changed when she recovers from her injures, which makes sense but sometimes her personally does seem a bit off. Jax and Gretchen have some interactions but it was a little hard to think things developed so fast. I was excited to see a plot about a developed relationship and two partners coming back together, but this was not as good as I had hoped. This book was okay, and I would recommend ti if you liked the author, but it was not my favorite book and felt a little long and boring at parts.

Great book! Jax and Gretchen are the main characters of a very well written book on how trauma can effect a relationship. Well crated, mystery and love story wrapped into a beautiful arch of a book.

This is a hard book to rate. If it were a movie, it would be a loose mixture of ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ and ‘Groundhog Day’. Amnesia as an enabler of a second chance in an almost failed long term relationship. It is an ambitious book, hard to write, I imagine, but also sometimes difficult to follow.

kindle
Jax Levine and Gretchen Mills were a happily married couple until career ambitions, a baby and frequent rows pushed them apart. Days before filing for divorce, Gretchen suffered an accident that left her with brain damage. The injury erased recent years of her memories leaving her with just the recollection of happier times. Will Gretchen’s transformation give them a second chance at love? Can Jax open her heart again after suffering so much?

I like that Ms. Ullrich deviated from the normal lesfic romance comfort zone to explore difficult issues such as bereavement, long-term relationship challenges, and mental health. The theme of amnesia and second chances has been used before but here there is an added twist which makes it different from other second chance lesbian romance novels. I don’t want to give too much away but let me say that the timeline is essential to this novel, so much so, that most of the chapters’ titles state a precise point in the story chronology. I’m not sure if this was a helpful guide or a distraction. For me, it was the latter but it might be helpful to other readers.

What is certain is that this is an emotional roller coaster, full of angst and drama. I admit it’s not my favourite kind of book but the characters were so lovable and vulnerable that it made it easy to get into. Ms. Ullrich takes her time to develop the story, with small details that seemed apparently unimportant but later gained crucial relevance.

Gretchen’s brain seems to play tricks on her but also on the reader. Because of the nature of the plot, there is an inevitable duplication of scenes that play an important role in the story but also sometimes feel repetitive. For this reason, I felt that even though the execution wasn’t perfect, the novel was engaging and kept me entertained. 4 stars.

ARC provided by the publisher and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Deja Vu.

Jax and Gretchen are separated and headed toward a divorce until Jax gets a phone call that Gretchen has had an accident and is in the hospital. The situation rattles Jax and has her thinking about the past and how things used to be between them. When Gretchen comes to, she is unable to recall the past few years of her life.

I'm a sucker for anything amnesia. There is nothing better than the anticipation of if and when those memories are going to come back. But this book wasn't about that and it made it a unique experience.

This book was strongest when Jax was struggling with her thoughts and emotions while Gretchen was still in a coma. It tugged at my heart strings and already had me hoping that the two of them could find their way back to each other at some point. But as the book progressed along, we were provided insight to just how bad it had gotten. The terrible things they said/did to each other pre-hospital made me like both of them less.

When you have a story about people who were so right together but then so wrong, it is a hard balancing act to make you want to root for them to find each other again. I wanted to feel like 'Yeah, that was mean, but look at home much she really loves her.' I didn't get that at all. I got 'They hated each other so much that it was irreparable.'

This had a weird timeline. It was on purpose and I applaud the author for trying something really experimental and different. I just wish that it would have worked for me more. What it came down to was that there was too much repetitiveness and I never fully understood what happened. I felt like it was missing some explanation that would have pulled it all together.

The writing was good. There was a good amount of angst. The overall concept was creative.

This would be good for people who like to read about family drama, separation, divorce, raising kids, custody issues, accidents, amnesia, second chances, and deja vu.

I enjoyed this book it is a different take on love and relationships and how like the title says it’s with the heart remembers most. After her soon to be divorced wife Gretchen is in the hospital and has lost her memory, Jax was told that talking to her may help her reclaim her memory so Jax decides to read some of the old letters that Gretchen has sent to her while at the hospital. As Gretchen begins to waken she sees Jax next to her and remembers the letters and believes they are still happily married with a young son. Jax is angry that Gretchen can’t remember the pain of the last few years that has torn them apart. Gretchen can’t understand how they are apart and getting a divorce when she still loves Jax so very deeply,Gretchen is anxious to learn and remember everything but at times the pain and remembering is too much for Jax. I like the secondary characters in this book especially Caleb, their young son , because the author did a great job describing what a young person is like who has ADHD. The only thing that confused me in this book is that toward the end Gretchens false memories versus reality took me for a loop and it was hard to figure out just what was going on. While this was a different aspect of the author to explore as a reader I did not appreciate it hence the four star review. Despite that I did love this book and very much enjoyed reading things by this author which I hope to continue in the future.

Is losing 4 years worth of memories a blessing or a curse? This book made me think there is no simple answer, on the one hand if there are kids involved I would say curse because you have missed so much. But what if you wake up and find out that you are divorcing the love of your life and you have no idea why? You are blessed with not remembering all the hateful and hurtful that has been said and done, but you are still deeply in love while the other party has moved on and does remember everything vividly. Will this be a second chance to get it right or will it be too late?

I loved this book! Great writing and characters and what I liked even more is that I was unmistakenly reading a romance, but it was also a story that made me think about things. I recommend it wholeheartedly.

I'm a big fan of M. Ullrich. Whenever she has a new book out, I want to read it. Regardless of the summary and topic of the book. And we've been very lucky that she's been turning out these books for us to enjoy. I want them to keep coming, so my next thoughts are solely about this book and nothing about her talent.

I have to admit, this story was super depressing to me. There aren't many happy moments. Even the flashbacks of Jax and Gretchen during happy times are short lived. And when the summary stated that they were living separate lives, I thought that meant still together but not recognizing each other anymore. Nope, they are a few signatures away from divorce right from the start, and Jax even has a girlfriend.

It's definetly a realistic book, and deeply honest about relationships. A lot of readers will connect with this story and love the book based on those two facts. I would just warn the readers that this is NOT a fun and sexy book to pull out during your vacation with your spouse. Or during quarantine...

Overall, I've discovered that this is just not my favorite story of Ullrich, but still wonderfully written.

This was an interesting style of writing. The storyline itself was good and I enjoyed it. The way the book has a sort of Groundhog Day esque movement throughout the second half takes a bit of getting used to. It does feel a bit repetitive but by the end it makes sense. I really felt for Gretchen all through the book. Jax left a lot to be desired, but I tried to be sympathetic considering her role in the storyline. Bottomline, I've not been disappointed in any book by this author, including this one. I received an ARC of this book from the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.