I tried reading this one but had to DNF due to the way the story was formatted especially the way it kept going back to flashbacks. I didn't realize it was a novel in verse. I would've liked the in verse part if it flowed a little bettter

Every Body Looking by Candice Iloh // ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

Thank you @penguinteen for providing me with an eARC via @netgalley. Every Body Looking comes out 9/22!

TW: abuse, sexual abuse

This book, written in verse, has been described as reminiscent of Elizabeth Acevedo’s work, and it really is. The narrative is beautifully told in rich, descriptive verses, alternating in time between Ada’s childhood and her time at Howard University. The novel deftly explores Ada’s upbringing as a first-generation Nigerian-American, her complex relationships with both parents, the weight of her family’s cultural and religious expectations, as well as her childhood traumas and the effects of those traumas as she grew up. I especially loved the scenes detailing her first semester at Howard, which accurately describe the nuances of how it feels to leave the house, become independent, and begin the journey of self-discovery that can only happen when you are out in the world on your own. This was a wonderful debut, and I highly recommend it to fans of YA novels in verse.

Loved Ada's character. Loved the way it was told in verse. Loved the themes and identities that the author sought to explore. Ultimately, it didn't feel fully fleshed out and I thought it lacked a satisfying conclusion. The kind of first book that makes you interested to see what comes next.

This is a beautiful coming of age story in verse. Be aware that it does talk about abuse and sexuality, but was all handled well. Ada is a beautiful character and I liked watching her transform and grow. Kind of heartbreaking but a much needed book.

Thank you NetGalley for this ARC!

Ada’s life so far has been about living up to her Nigerian father’s expectations, making it through high school, and contending with her mother’s volatile presence. Now she’s off to college, on her own for the first time, and has to reconcile who she’s been taught to be and who she really wants to be. Scenes from her past that were pivotal for creating her present are interspersed with the rest of the story, giving readers a better picture of why being who she is feels so difficult.

This is a novel in verse, and I have to argue for reading it in print, rather than on an e-reader or an app. The arrangement on the page is important, serving where punctuation would in prose, as well as conveying additional details about how each poem should be approached, and it’s very easy to lose that as you mess around with font size on your e-reader. Overall, the rhythm of the verse drives the story very well, and I’m not sure if the exceptions I encountered were deliberate, an artifact of reading an e-ARC, or something else. This won’t be a book for everyone, but it definitely resonated with me.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley for an honest review.

“that I’m too loud
too much
too free”

Every Body Looking is sort of a coming of age and coming into yourself while also trying to live up to family expectations and cultural expectations. I have actually never read a story like this written in verse, and while it took me a minute to really catch on to the flow or maybe even the freeness of verse, I eventually fell in love. Ada is the daughter of an immigrant father and an African-American mother. Her mother suffers from addiction and her father has placed heavy expectations on his first born daughter.

I loved this story because it is a journey. Where Ada finds herself in her culture, but also struggles with being herself because of cultural expectations placed on her by her father. I love the way that freedom is shown from freedom as a middle schooler and getting to just dance and be yourself for an hour, then having to hide who you are. Then the jump to being in college and really having that freedom to find yourself and then actually be yourself.

This is just an amazing story. It’s beautiful and at times it’s tough, but it also has that level of realness and relatability even if you were raised with a different upbringing.

I recommend this to anyone looking for a poetic coming of age from an own-voice author!

Ada is a character who is learning to see herself through her own eyes. For her entire life, she has tried to be what others want her to be. A respectful and religious daughter for her father. An unconditionally loving daughter for her mother. A studious scholar for colleges and a submissive beauty for men. The desires of others have always come before her own best interest and her dreams for the future.

In Candice Iloh's exceptional novel in verse, Ada is constantly trying to fit into the boxes of other people's expectations. There are moments when she tries to break free, but the eyes of others seem always to be watching. Always judging.

When Ada moves away to attend college at an HBCU, she believes things might be different. The people here do not know her, so they shouldn't have expectations of how she should look or behave. She should be able to be herself. The problem is, Ada has worked so hard to suppress her own feelings and personality that it is hard for her to find herself and she slips into old patterns.

Sometimes finding oneself is the most difficult search of all.

A fantastic debut novel in verse tells the story of Ada--daughter of a Nigerian father who immigrated to the US and an African American mother. The story toggles between present day college Ada at Howard University, a HBCU and her childhood years. It's a story of growing to love yourself, your body and your own unique voice. Ada faces the struggles of many first/second generation kids and the heavy expectations set on us to achieve. We're constantly reminded of the sacrifices our parents have made and it's imperative we do right by them and achieve whatever they want for us. But among us are artists, writers, dancers, dreamers who don't want a traditional job trajectory or college major and there's sometimes a tension between our desires and a conflicting expectation to make our parents proud by doing the "right" thing. I loved all the dance references in this book. Raising a dancer and being a lover of dance myself, I deeply felt the way Ada connected with her body through dancing and movement. I just wish I could have seen Magic on paper!! This book really nailed the feelings of starting college for sure. Brought me right back to my first year of college as well. If you love Elizabeth Acevedo, I'd pick this one up - no doubt there will be many comparisons between these books in verse from women of color!

Actual Rating: 4.5 stars

Every Body Looking is a hard-hitting coming of age story told in verse that creeps up on you and kind of rips your heart out. Please use caution and check trigger/content warnings if needed because this was much more intense than I had anticipated, but I think this will strike a chord with a lot of people. Note that this review does contain "spoilers" due to discussing abuse and sexuality in the book. If you're sensitive to spoilers, be aware.

Ada is the daughter of a Nigerian immigrant and an African American woman, her mom struggling with an unnamed mental illness as she comes in and out of her life. The book goes back and forth across multiple timelines, adding context to what is happening and the things Ada is struggling through. At the beginning she is graduating from high school and much of the book is set during her first semester of college, with sections flashing back to first grade, second grade, sixth grade, and high school as we see the trauma and difficult life experiences Ada has gone through. This includes being molested by a family member as a six-year-old, and then we see the ramifications of that into adulthood. Like I said, it's an intense one, but it's also a book about healing, freedom, and being unafraid to step into who you really are.

Part of Ada's journey is coming to terms with her sexuality after growing up in a deeply religious and conservative household. Content warnings for a brief scene of sexual exploration with another girl at 7 years old, and while childhood sexual abuse often results in early sexual behavior and acting out as a response to trauma, I wish the author had addressed that in a more nuanced way. It reads like an indication that perhaps Ada isn't really straight, which may be true but the reasons for that happening at such a young age are more complex and are related to the abuse she experienced. Especially as this is a book for young people, I wanted to see this talked about on some level.

That said, in general I found this to be compelling and I felt deeply for Ada. I think this does a fantastic job of capturing what going away to college for the first time is like. You're away from family, discovering new parts of yourself, contending with a possibly changing worldview, and perhaps learning that you don't want to do or be what you thought or what your family expected of you. It's a time of transition and often emotionally difficult experiences that can be transformative if allowed to be. It's nice to see a YA novel that is addressing this critical period. I received an advance copy of this book for review via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

Content warnings include child molestation by a relative (on page, main character), sexual touching between young girls, incurred fatphobia, traumatic experience with a gynecological exam, college sexual experiences of dubious consent, male characters engaging in misogynistic and sexually manipulative dialogue.

Loved this novel-in-verse about Ada, a Nigerian American girls trying to find herself at college, an HBCU. Recommend for teens.

Review posted on GoodReads (September 9, 2020)
Review Linked.

4/5 stars!

A huge thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Young Readers Group for sending me an E-ARC for an honest review.

The moment I heard about this book, I wanted to pick it up and read it. When I found out it was written in poetry, I got even more excited because I have been wanting to pick up more poetry this year. This book is beautifully written. I was immediately pulled into the story, and I found myself really taking my time while reading this book in order to really enjoy the text and emotions that the story brought up. This is a very powerful and gorgeous story, and I really recommend this book!

Thanks for reading!
Caden

This is beautifully written story about finding yourself, and the importance of having something to call your own. I love that it is written in verse. You can feel the emotion within the author’s words and rhythm as you read. There were times where I was not a fan of the non-linear timeline so I appreciate that each section was labeled. Thank you Penguin Teen for this gifted copy!

CW - molestation, homophobia, verbal abuse, alcohol use, mental health awareness

To be transparent, I read this book in preparation for a podcast interview through my work, and I found Candice Iloh to be wonderful to speak with.

Every Body Looking is part of (what I think) is a recent trend of YA books in verse, and interestingly, each page can stand alone as its own poem (learned that in my interview.)

Ada, the main character, is a young Nigerian-American teen beginning her new life in college, and she's all kinds of confused about her place in the world, which is compounded by a difficult past that includes an absent mother, complicated feelings about her father's faith, and an incident of abuse. What Ada loves is sure about is dance, but she doesn't feel like she can share this with her dad.

The chapters alternate between the present as Ada enters college and her childhood, giving glimpses into the events that shaped her. Sometimes I found this effective, but other times I admit I got a little confused. The book covers a lot of territory and given that novels in verse are sparse, it might have benefited from more focus. Still, a strong debut.

Unfortunately I was unable to download this book, but I will give it a high star rating based on what I've heard about it and my excitement level to get it after pub day.

Ada’s high school graduation is a big deal for her Nigerian immigrant family, but Ada still feels uncomfortable with her stepmom, and her bio-mom can’t tame her own demons long enough to put Ada first and enjoy the day. Freedom beckons as Ada starts freshman year at an HBCU, but flashbacks to her complicated childhood provide insight into why Ada has signed up to study subjects that are of no interest to her, why she allows herself to be objectified by a boy on the basketball team, and why she finally finds a way to explore her identity and express herself in dance.

Told in verse, the characters spring to life - unreliable mom, demanding dad who tries his best to help Ada with the tools he has access to, the aunt from Nigeria who is a strong link to heritage but manages to simultaneously build up and tear down. Encourage high school students to read this with a partner so they can talk about
Ada’s choices and predict where freedom will take her. EARC from NetGalley.

Please note: This is not a review. I was unable to read this title because it was not available for Kindle download. Due to a medical issue I cannot read for extended periods on a computer or phone. After realizing the book was downloading to my phone and not going to my kindle, I cancelled the download. I will be reading this once it is released because I am very interested in the story. Unfortunately, this feedback could not be submitted without a star rating, so I selected 2 stars.

honestly, this book made me feel seen in so many aspects and i just have SO much love for it. this book is so special, powerful, raw, and unfiltered. it's a look into challenging what you've been taught growing up, and learning to forge your own ideas about the world and the way you fit within it. it's about appreciating and understanding your culture while being aware of it in the context of society. and above all this is a book about being true to yourself

I love novels told in verse so much and this one felt so personal and easy to connect to. However, it didn’t feel fully fleshed out and ended slightly abruptly, as I just wanted more of Ada’s story. It’s a journey of self-discovery and empowerment, told in flashbacks to previous incidents that gradually reveal a bit more of Ada. I understand the ending as being her reclamation of her life and starting to pursue her own path, but I just wish there was a bit more.

I’d like to thank Fae Crate, Penguin, and Netgalley for providing me with my copy of Candice Iloh’s soon to be released Every Body Looking! Isn’t the cover gorgeous? I’m a sucker for a pretty cover and my eyes were drawn to that beautiful brown skin against that astounding backdrop of color.

Ah!

Now let’s get into it. For the most part, I enjoyed this! The novel, told in verse, gives us brief glimpses into the mind and circumstances of Ada, an 18 year old first generation Nigerian-American woman desperate for the freedom her new life as an HBCU student will bring. For a long time she has wilted under the expectations of her family: from her father’s conservative Christian values pressed upon her day by day, to her tumultuous relationship with her birth mother, to cruel school children and what they view as ‘other’, to extended family members who assert their right and ownership of who she is and what desires are acceptable to their household. Ada has had a rough time of it. Even her true passion, dance is frowned upon and hidden. She needs a change. College will bring that. Out from under those prying eyes, she is thrust into this new world where she’s the one in charge.

It’s different.

It’s exhilarating.

It’s terrifying.

Now Ada has the opportunity to truly start to look into who she really is, taking small steps towards understanding her sexuality, coming to grips with her traumas, building and standing by her self worth, and so much more. But friends, this is not a gentle tale. Iloh doesn’t pull punches. This journey of exploration is given to us through incredibly harsh passages. Many of these moments in time are devastating to read through, and the language and perspective we the readers are placed in has the potential to hit hard. But it isn’t all pain. Ada reminds us that while moving forward is often difficult, it is still possible. And wow, when Ada shines, she shines BRIGHT. This is a novel of beginnings.

I had a few issues, but my overall experience was positive. The formatting of my eARC was unfortunately a bit difficult to go through, as it chopped up many of the poems and I’d have to scroll back and forth, losing my place and rhythm. I also wished for a bit more of Ada’s story. Like I mentioned earlier, we get glimpses but a few times I felt that it wasn’t quite enough. I would’ve appreciated a solid passage here or there where we could go into detail. Some incredibly hard hitting issues are brought up that I would have loved to see further explored. While it was a pleasure to see Ada grow, the way the story was told had the end feeling a little incomplete. Perhaps it’s because I love closure.

Regardless, this is a story that will resonate with a lot of readers. Look forward to seeing it on shelves on September 22, 2020, friends! Thanks for a beautiful story!

Links:

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3478131641

https://deannawritesthings.wordpress.com/2020/08/12/deanna-reads-arcs-every-body-looking/

Thank you for an advance copy of this book. Although I did not fully engage and connect with this first work, I enjoyed Candice Iloh's prose and I look forward to reading her future works. She shows promise as a developing literary talent, although this book is perhaps not as polished as it could have been.