‘Happiness seems such a natural goal of life; a no-brainer. Shouldn’t we all try to maximise our happiness? ‘
I first read a Hugh MacKay book in the 1990s and it has stayed with me over these many years. So I was thrilled to take a look into his new book, The Inner Self: The joy of discovering who we really are. Hugh is one of Australia’s most well respected social psychologists and bestselling authors. In this volume he takes all his years of social research to highlight how we are ‘hiding’ from our real self.
‘Spending too long in hiding increases the risk that we will live a half-life of inauthenticity, never reaching our full potential, and wondering why we feel permanently unsatisfied.’
Hugh delivers a rich explanation of how in presenting what is essentially our socially constructed identity, we hide from our real self. It is a fascinating investigation into the contrast between our inner self versus our social self. The masks we all put on to face everything from our fears to our everyday obligations.
‘Think of all those things as masks we wear – the faces we need to put on to play our various roles. If you’re a partner and a parent, then you know that you must act differently in those different roles. But you’re still you.’
Hugh presents research on what he considers to be our ‘Top 20’ hiding places including things such as addictions, busyness, social media and materialism just to name a few. What he wants his readers to question is, ‘Who am I?’ If you feel that how you are perceived is not the real you, then he hopes that this book will help shed some light on the discrepancy - an insight into the problems associated with pretending to be someone you are not.
‘Almost always, the sense of a gap between who I am and who I want to be is a response to an opening up of our inner sense of self.’
Hugh wants his readers to appreciate the great relief to be had from reaching an understanding that there is real freedom to be gained from coming out of these hiding places and unveiling your authentic self. Many will appreciate that we need to listen more to our inner voice and less to the image we more often than not project to the world. Live the life we all really want, moving away from the life we are currently hiding behind.
‘Nature has its seasons, and so does every life. To be attentive and responsive to them all is healthier than to yearn for one rather than another.’
This book is easy to read with little jargon and loads of real life examples for people to relate to. After all these years and all the many books Hugh has written in between, I am happy to have reflected upon some real gems of advice that are to be found within these pages.
‘Wouldn’t you rather confront the things you don’t like about yourself, or that don’t ring true for you, and do some work on them? The alternative is to live in a permanently defensive state of mind.’