I've sat on this review for several days now because WOW. From the moment I picked up this book, I was invested, and I had a hard time putting it down. I've thought for days now on how to best describe this book. There are so many elements to it - psychological thriller for one - but it was so much more than that. At it's core, it's a true literary read, which I find is rare in the thriller genre, but it was also an intense look at nature vs nurture. And it was just the right amount of "thrill". It wasn't outlandish or grasping for twists and turns at every corner. The layers are deep, this book sucks you in from the first pages and will have your heart beating loudly as you frantically turn the pages wanting more.

In a nutshell, Blythe, married and expecting her first child, is terrified at the thought about what kind of mother she will become. And rightfully so, as we learn that she comes from a long line of abusive mothers who want nothing to do with being mothers. Blythe wonders: can I be the mother I need to be for my child when I wasn't nurtured by my own mother? But as worried as she is, she approaches motherhood with hope that maybe she can break the cycle. And therein starts this terrifying, yet fascinating story of Blythe and her husband Fox and how their lives are turned upside down by the brith of their baby girl, Violet. I went into this book pretty blind, and so I will stop here because I think the less you know, the better!

Thank you to Netgalley for the advanced copy, and thank you to Ashley Audrain for writing one of the best books I've read in a really long time!

4.5 stars
Psychological drama, dark, page-turner, don't expect to do much else but read this book once you have started. Looks at dysfunction, through the eyes of a participant, so what is real and what is not? It kept me up late, turning pages while I stirred the soup, and got me to think about the families I know.
We become what we have been given. Who we are will be passed down to the next generation, you cannot deny it. Motherhood is not perfect, admit it. Our minds can be shattered by tragedy.
Hold tight, it's a rollercoaster.
#NetGalley #ThePush

The Push is the buzziest book in Canada right now and it's making a big splash in the US, too. Ashley Audrain's debut novel secured her a multi-million dollar deal and it's been everywhere since it was published earlier this month. I'll say this: it is a story that has stuck with me since I finished it.

Here's the synopsis:
Blythe Connor is determined that she will be the warm, comforting mother to her new baby Violet that she herself never had.
But in the thick of motherhood’s exhausting early days, Blythe becomes convinced that something is wrong with her daughter–she doesn’t behave like most children do.
Or is it all in Blythe’s head? Her husband, Fox, says she’s imagining things. The more Fox dismisses her fears, the more Blythe begins to question her own sanity, and the more we begin to question what Blythe is telling us about her life as well.
Then their son Sam is born–and with him, Blythe has the blissful connection she’d always imagined with her child. Even Violet seems to love her little brother. But when life as they know it is changed in an instant, the devastating fall-out forces Blythe to face the truth.
The Push is a tour de force you will read in a sitting, an utterly immersive novel that will challenge everything you think you know about motherhood, about what we owe our children, and what it feels like when women are not believed.
When I first agreed to review The Push it was months and months before the release and I didn't know anything about it. But, I thought, sure, I'd give the thriller a try. It wasn't until closer to the publication date that I realized how much it was going to be about motherhood. I had to work on my headspace before starting it because I don't tend to read books about mothers. I don't have kids, I don't want kids, and don't really understand why people want to be mothers. I'm happy for those who are, of course, I'm not completely heartless! But when it's a domestic thriller (something I've realized isn't my thriller of choice) and so focused on motherhood? I worried I wouldn't really get it. I think that worry was warranted because while I would say this is a pretty good book...I don't think I liked it? But I didn't dislike it. It's very conflicting.

Audrain keeps the tension high through most of the book. Buuut...I got lost with the flashbacks to Blythe's mother's life and her own childhood. I don't know if it added a whole lot to the story. She didn't have good maternal role models. Say that once and move on.

I think the way Audrain ended the novel was so perfect. It's not tied up in a bow but it totally fits the rest of the book. And the way she led up to that point? You start thinking one thing but by the end? Nope. Your thinking was totally wrong. At least, mine was!

I didn't love The Push, I think that much is clear. But I think Ashley Audrain has written a debut novel that will make people talk for a long, long time. The story is a twisted one with surprises that no one can see coming. It's not an easy read but it's one that will keep you turning the pages until the very end.

*An egalley of this novel was provided by the publisher, Penguin Random House Canada, via NetGalley in exchange for review consideration. All opinions are honest and my own.*

This debut novel is a thoughtful look at the cycle of emotionally abusive childhoods tend to repeat themselves, mental illness to a degree and how to love a child who is clearly a psychopath. But what do you do when no one but you knows it? That is how life is for our main character Blythe. Violet her daughter almost from day one acts as though she can’t stand to be with her mother. Many say, but how can this be? She is just 1 mos old, she’s just 2 years old, she’s only 5! She doesn’t mean anything by it. Violet is a good girl, Blythe knows there’s something wrong with her daughter but no one believes her and they begin to doubt HER sanity. When an unspeakable tragedy occurs things only get worse for Blythe and Violet is getting no better. Blythe doubts her own ability as a mother because in flashbacks we have seen how mother and daughter relationships have gone in the previous two generations. I really enjoyed this fresh approach the author used in the telling of this novel. It is not a book perhaps dealing with a difficult child of their own at home, but it is a novel that asks the real question so many mothers ask themselves daily: “Am I a good enough Mother?”

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this unique and well written novel.

This one is definitely going on my list of favourite books of 2021! It may be early in the year but I truly did not want to put this one down. A warning that it does contain some topics and material that could be a trigger for some readers.. An unsettling read, but a fantastic one which poses the age old question of nature vs. nurture. Dark and chilling, this will not be the book for everyone.

Our main character Blythe and her husband, Fox, are expecting a child. She has hidden a lot about her past and these hidden memories come out in many of the chapters. Blythe’s childhood and relationship with her mother is very traumatic and very unresolved. As was her mother, Cecilia’s relationship with her mother, Etta.

Blythe is determined to break this cycle when her daughter, Violet, is born. But there is something not quite right with Violet. Fox doesn’t see Violet the way Blythe sees her and brushes off any concerns that Blythe has about her as she grows older.

Years pass, warning signs are ignored by Fox, and Blythe becomes pregnant with their second child, Sam. Sam is a bright light for Blythe. Their lives will not stay blissfully happy for long, though.

Without giving more away, I will if you’re looking for a thriller you will not find one here. This is a more of a psychological family drama with an excellent first-person narrative that you will not be able to put down.

I remember when I read Sing, Unburied, Sing there was a character described as not having the mothering instinct. Empathy is something I love to feel for the characters I read about, but there seemed something so unnatural, so foreign to me about this lack of mothering instinct. In The Push, this concept is explored in detail, through multiple generations, but mostly through the protagonist, Blythe, and her daughter, Violet. Given Blythe’s upbringing, the reader is given to wonder if she does, in fact, not know how to be a mother. Or is it a mother’s instinct that knows something’s off? This is one interesting and thought-provoking book.

Just finished my first book of 2021, The Push by Ashley Audrain. My reading has started off this year with a bang, Thank you NetGalley! It’s difficult to put this book down because each chapter ends leaving you with a need to know what happens next. This story starts with a woman watching a seemingly happy family from her car. We are introduced to Blythe who begins to tell her story. When Blythe and Fox have their first child, Blythe second guesses her feelings and thoughts about her relationship with her child. We learn about her relationship with her own Mother and Grandmother and how this affected her growing up. Blythe observes behaviour in their child that causes her to question herself and when she tries to seek reassurance from Fox he brushes her concerns aside and assures her she is a good mother. When tragedy strikes the family, things spiral out of control and their lives go in different directions. This book grabs you from the beginning and doesn’t let go! I highly recommend this book to everyone who loves a thrill ride.

I thoroughly enjoyed The Push by Ashley Audrain, which is a strange thing to say because I was at times left absolutely wrung out by her descriptions of the emotions Blythe was going through. I felt I was right there with her as she manages her life as a new mom with Violet when nothing seems to be going right. And she feels worthless as a mother.
These feelings are not helped by the traumatic childhood she had with her mother and grandmother Cecilia and Etta.
Highly Recommended
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC

Holy moly but this one was intense. As a mother myself it was hard to read. There are natural fears that parents have about their children, are they going to be healthy, kind, smart, etc but this story took it into the darker thoughts. What happens when you suspect your child being capable of horrendous things? How do you reconcile yourself to what they do and your love for them? So many of the worst fears parents have for their children are present in this book and the way they were displayed was horrifying and impactful. I just couldn’t stop reading. It was like watching a train wreck. That last line made me gasp out loud. I want to know more. I wanted to keep reading it after it was over. That was one of the most intense books I’ve read in a long time. Amazing.

Thank you to the publisher for my copy of this one - all opinions are my own.

I LOVED this book, which is the most basic thing I can say about it. I love the absolutely unique way it is written, I love the INSANE tension in this plot, I love the fact that you are perpetually on edge of not knowing what will happen next, but understanding it won't be good.

Ashley Audrain has crafted a deliciously evil and highly suspenseful read in this one - I was fully sucked in from the start and admittedly stayed up far to late to finish this. I can't imagine actually pausing reading this book....I had to know what would happen.

I also loved the honest insight to the realities of post partum depression and the very real struggles some new moms face - it is refreshing to see stories that don't paint becoming a first time mom as nothing but roses and butterflies.

Overall I won't offer any spoilers, but this is one book that I will be recommending all year long.

As a survivor of childhood abuse and trauma, I was looking forward to this book by debut author Ashley Audrain. It’s been described as a psychological thriller but it’s not that; it’s been described as an “examination of the expectations of motherhood and post-partum depression” but I don’t think it’s that either.
Audrain tackles inter-generational child abuse and trauma along with parental mental illness, and I admire her for it. Her writing is powerful, lyrical, and shocking. I loved every page of the book right up until the ending. I realize that this book is getting 5-star reviews everywhere, and I truly wanted to give it one, However, an enormous book that tackles BIG issues like this deserves a BIG ending–one that is commensurate with the entire storyline.
I wanted to see Blythe, the principal character, triumph at least in getting some decent therapy. Her two relationships with weak and ineffectual men weren’t a surprise given her father, but she deserved to find a happiness of some kind near the end.
Spoiler alert, but if Audrain wrote that high school ending in favour of possibly getting the book sold for TV or moviemaking, it ruined it for readers. It felt like a complete cop-out. If Violet is to get what’s coming to her, let’s see it on the page.

I don’t remember the last time I fell this deeply into a book, one that rooted itself in my subconscious, slunk in the back of my mind while handling my day-to-day, preparing for my son’s second birthday, icing cupcakes and shivering at where I thought the plot might lead. This was everything I want in a book: sharp writing, difficult muddy characters, psychological suspense, and a plot that seemed inevitably to be heading downhill toward a predictable dark climax but is still somehow shocking, heart-rending to the very last word.

I loved almost everything about this novel. I loved wading hip deep into the muddy minds of reluctant apathetic mothers whose inability to mother their daughters and various trauma are passed down generation to generation resulting in our main character Blythe and her daughter Violet who she just can’t connect with, and is it because of this disconnect that Violet becomes a more and more unnerving child, or was it in her nature, to become a sociopath? Blythe tries so hard to be a mother, and fails, fails to love her daughter how she needs to be loved, fails to be what her husband expects of her, and fails her own expectations. It’s only when she has a second child, a son, that she finds the instinct for motherhood, connects with and loves him in the way all mothers expect to love their child: immediately, fervently, as a part of you.

Then tragedy strikes. And in the wake of losing her son, Blythe’s marriage continues to fall apart, her life goes off the rails, and we don’t really know exactly what happened in the accident that kills her son Sam, although we think we do.

Every chapter is a heart in your throat exercise at walking directly toward the scariest shadowiest part of your mind and trying not to flinch, not knowing exactly what you might find, but knowing it can’t be good. I could not stop reading this book. It’s taking up so much space in my mind, turning over just how brilliantly it was executed, how much it resonated with me. I haven’t loved a book this much in years.

The rights have already been optioned for a movie, and it’s been done by David Heyman who did Marriage Story, so I can only imagine how good a film version will be. All the hype is well deserved. An amazing debut novel, from a Canadian author whom I’ll definitely be watching for in the future.

I really enjoyed this intense and unsettling exploration of motherhood, grief, and what happens when women aren’t believed. The Push is surprisingly gritty and touches on a lot of difficult topics, so it isn’t necessarily a book I would recommend to everyone. If you are up for it though, I think it is a well-written and compulsive read.

Delightfully disturbing. A raw look at motherhood and marriage, this tense psychological thriller was at times uncomfortable to read, but I couldn't look away! So many layers to unpack; nature vs. nurture, grief, truth, trust, mother/daughter relationships, etc. Recommended for readers of compelling psychological suspense or novels with complicated family relationships.

This book is like hitting a home run! Wow! Loved it! Now I know what all the hype was about. Did not disappoint. I will highly recommend this book to everyone!

This is a somewhat confusing book to read until you catch on to who all the characters are and the authors writing style. I also didn't card for how the book ended almost a cliffhanger. Other than that the story was amazing and kept me reading as the suspense was gut clenching.I think Blythe is a great main character and she really captured my heart, I can't imagine having to live with all the things she did. I liked her husband Fox in the beginning but even putting myself in his shoes, I felt he lacked compassion for his wife, but of course this is what the author wanted. There are some great supporting characters and some that really needed a therapist. This is the first book I have read of this authors but I would definitely read more.
I received a free download of this book from the publisher and Netgalley. This review is my own honest opinion.

Geez Louise! I read this one with one eye open and one eye closed. I couldn’t put The Push down and I didn’t really want to know what was coming next. And finishing it left me in a strange mood. No point saying much about the plot other than it’s a tense tight story about motherhood. Is there something wrong with Blythe as a mother? Is there something wrong with her daughter Violet? No holds barred in plumbing the dark side of maternal self-doubt. Audrain knows how to write. There is depth to the characters and nuance to the emotions and story. But... I’m not sure what the “but” is. Bad mother and bad children books leave me feeling creepy, even when they’re well executed. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an opportunity to read an advance copy.

Canadian author Ashley .Audrain’s first novel is about, the realities of motherhood that many of us can relate to.

Although excited about having her first baby Blythe was scared. The author intersect with memories of Blythe’s childhood depicting cruelty; her mother left when she was 11. Would her daughter be like her and her mother?

After a difficult birth Blythe found it hard to love and take care of her daughter, she begrudged her life being disrupted and sometimes left baby Violet crying for hours because she was writing a book and didn’t want to be interrupted.

Her husband loved Violet and so Violet grew loving her dad more, and saying at times that she hated her mom. If Blythe mentioned something negative regarding Violet to her husband, he always played it down. As Violet grew Blythe became more and more paranoid believing her daughter was capable of horrendous acts.

A bestseller for sure, my only comment is the trasitions back to Blyth’s childhood are not alway smooth, but you do catch on.
Highly recommended. For a first novel the writing is exceptional and once you pick up this book you won’t want to put it down. So excited to see it made Canada Reads top 5.

This was an interesting psychological drama about some of the darker sides of motherhood that raises questions of "nature vs. nurture" and whether it's possible to break away from our past. It was a very sad and twisted tale. I was expecting more of a "thriller", but it definitely kept my attention. Although the subject matter was difficult and parts of the novel were very hard (emotionally) to read, I felt compelled to keep reading.

I flew through this - it was impossible to put down! A very tough read at times, but I couldn’t turn away. Audrain’s short chapters really work to tighten the screws as the story accelerates, and even though I knew I was in the company of a potentially unreliable narrator, I couldn’t help but side with Blythe and her perspective. Knockout final line, too!