Wow, this was unexpected!  It was a rough emotional ride.  I was assuming it was another thriller, a la Gone Girl, one of many similar attempts to grab that market.   So this was a surprise in a lot of ways.   The emotional depth caught me off guard.  

The writing was a little haphazard and the pace was definitely uneven, but that perhaps was intentional.  I see how that mirrors the state of mind of the protagonist.   I'm a bit all over the place with this one because for me, it didn't read like a thriller, which is how its being marketed, but in a category I can't quite pigeonhole.   (There were few of the hallmarks of thrillers, no "twist', not that that takes away from the book at all, but more like it requires an adjustment to the reader's expectations.)  After finishing the book, I feel very much what the protagonist must be feeling:  numb and sad.   I'm honestly not sure where to place this.   It's a book that I'll think about in the future, long after I've forgotten many others.

This book grabbed my attention from the first page and didn't let me go until the last. Every time I put the book down, my thoughts were with Blythe and Violet, wondering where the story was going. 

The Push, uniquely written in second person, follows Blyth and her family. Blythe comes from a long line of neglectful mothers, and is determined to be a better one herself. While her relationship with her daughter, Violet, isn't the one she hoped for, she gets a second chance with her son, Sam. A family tragedy changes everything. 

This thriller is one that left me feeling breathless at the wild ride it took me on. The fact that I still cannot stop thinking about it meant it left its mark on me. 

Review on Instagram (@2girls2manybooks).

I’m not sure what to make of this novel. The opening scene grabs you, making you wonder why someone would be watching an ordinary family through their front windows, pondering their once upon a time life with the family being stalked. As the story unfolds and we learn about Blythe, her mother Cecilia and grandmother Etta you know this is going to be a unique read.

“One day you’ll understand, Blythe. The women in this family...we’re different.” Loc129

I’ll say. When Blythe gives birth to Violet she struggles to bond with her daughter. She herself was abandoned by her mother when she was only eleven but did have a warm and loving mother figure in her early life. Is she suffering from postpartum depression, some emotional inability to connect with her first born or is there something wrong with Violet, something inherently evil?

The Push examines the nature versus nurture argument in vivid and at times graphic detail. Do you grow up lacking empathy because your mother abused you physically or emotionally or were you born a sociopath causing your mother to pull away in horror? This idea is circled and explored as the lives of Fox and Blythe and their two children Violet and Sam play out. I can’t say this was a comfortable read. As psychological thrillers go, the pacing is slow, so slow it feels like you are watching a train crash in slow motion. You know there will be carnage but you can’t look away.

If you are looking for an introspective look at the human psyche this might be the book for you. If you are considering getting pregnant, the birth scene might change your mind. And if you are looking for a light and happy read, this isn’t it.

ARC received with thanks from publisher via NetGalley for review.

Blythe is a mom who doesn't really think she wants to be a mother, and she thinks maybe her mother and grandmother potentially both felt the same way. This book is told from Blythe's perspective and explores generational patterns of child neglect and feelings of in adequacy when it comes to motherhood. Blythe's struggles are due to her being unable to form a bond with her first child, Violet, and being dismissed when she shares with her husband that she believes Violet may have something wrong with her. It isn't until her second child arrives that Blythe experiences a glimpse of normalcy, until one day when her life is shattered into a million pieces.

This book definitely deserves all of the hype that it is getting. It starts out slow as you get a feel for Blythe and her familial struggles, and then it becomes so devastatingly captivating that you won't be able to put it down. I have never read a thriller that is written as a character study of sorts, and I found that the unique way the story is told forces the reader to become fully invested in each page. I cannot recommend this book enough.

Thank you NetGalley for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Wow. This novel was nothing like I expected which was refreshing. It kept me in suspense from start to finish, with a TON of sharp turns that I didn’t see coming. The characters are multi-dimensional and easy to believe. Great book to help get you through stay-at-home orders.

When I picked up this novel I didn't realize that it was written by a debut author. Ashley Audrain pulls you right into this novel from the very first page. I had to literally force myself to put the book down and get some sleep as I had to work the next morning. I am sure I could have read the whole book in one sitting. The chapters are short and it weaves back and forth between different characters, I didn't find it hard to follow but I know some people don't like the alternate POV. This is a psychological suspense that will have you at the end of your seat wondering what will happen next. It is not one of those scary, murder mysteries. It is a story that follows three mothers and their mental health during motherhood. It will make you stop and think about things your own mother or yourself may have thought or down. This book brought me to tears and gave me goosebumps. I still think about it and know I will likely read this one again. I look forward to reading more by Audrain.  

I give this book a 5 stars!

Thank you NetGalley for an advanced copy of The Push. 

When I requested this copy I had no inkling of the story which was about to unfold. I’m so glad I went into this journey blind! A young woman finds the love of her life and they begin their marriage, as so many couples do, with hope and blind faith.  Pressured by her husband, Blythe gives birth to a daughter who is the apple of her father’s eye. A short time later a son is born, the centre of Blythe’s world; a world which crashes down all around her and changes the course of her life. 

The novel is written in the first person, that voice being Blythe’s. There is also another timeline introduced early on. Blythe’s mother and grandmother’s stories are peppered throughout The Push and gives the reader an important insight into Blythe’s psyche.  The book was enthralling in a very slow and subtle way. From the first few pages, I wanted to find out more about this family and the woman behind the voice. How did she get to this point? What lengths will she go to? Is she to blame or can she overcome her upbringing? Did it really happen?...you won’t be able to put this book down until you’ve answered those questions for yourself.  A great read for a cold wintery weekend!

This book was not for me.  I feel like it was written solely for shock value, and if that was the case then it delivered.
I’m not certain what The Push was intending to bring to the table as far as the conversation around PPD/PPA but I am certain that in the wrong hands this book could be very dangerous.    This author had the opportunity to remove the stigma around these serious and dangerous illnesses and to normalize the dialogue around mothers that truly need to seek help.  But instead the book just seemed to play off of these serious emotions in order to make a buck I suppose. It left me with a sick feeling from start to finish.
That being said, the writing was very good and I can only hope that the author will use her skills in the future towards a more constructive instead of destructive story.

This tense psychological thriller is set mostly around Blythe a young woman, who falls in love, marries, and has children. But it jumps back into the experiences of other women in her family at certain points, and into her own childhood. Besides her own earlier life experiences, we see her mother Cecilia and her grandmother Etta. 
Beginning with Etta, who had a difficult childhood and felt like an outsider, we see a pattern with her daughter Cecilia, who felt unloved, yet tried to connect with her mother, until she couldn't anymore, and tried to find a better life for herself. And Blythe herself tried to connect with her mother, but when she couldn't found a substitute mother figure to connect with.
Blythe isn't sure about her own ability to be a good mother. Her husband Fox reassures her and pushes her on the issue, and she has a baby girl, Violet. But Blythe doesn't feel a connection to her daughter at first, and finds the lack of sleep, the lack of understanding from Fox, and her own daughter's personality all contribute to this. Her second child, Sam, is a completely different story, and she connects with him instantly and continues to as he grows. She worries about the discrepancy between the children, but Violet seems to cherish Sam as well, and she hopes that life will improve for the family. 
One thing I found interesting was the men in this book. They were largely absent emotionally for Blythe and her mother and grandmother. The women in the previous generations had strong personalities and the men seemed to focus on them rather than their daughters. For Blythe it is different. Once Violet is born, she is Fox's focus and Blythe's concerns and feelings are dismissed and ignored. So Blythe has been failed twice by the men in her life. 
Even when things are dark, Blythe doubts herself and tries to make some type of connection to her daughter, but once Sam exists, we can see that her joy is from him. She has a good relationship with her mother-in-law and has confided in her to some extent, but holds back as Blythe expects that if sides have to be chosen, she will not be. 
Things escalate slowly, pull back, and escalate again, with the suspense growing as the plot moves forward. I found the one friend connection that Blythe made interesting and how it still had a shadow that existed even when it stopped being what it was. 
An amazing read!

It's hard for a "thriller" to impress me these days, but this one contains as much character study as it does suspense - which makes it stand out from the crowd. It explores the (much) darker side of motherhood, which is not always easy to read especially when one has firsthand experience. But it's very elegantly written, with the kind of short chapters that convince you to read just one more and end up in a book that's finished within a day.

And it doesn't hurt that the last page gave me a little shiver!

I've sat on this review for several days now because WOW. From the moment I picked up this book, I was invested, and I had a hard time putting it down. I've thought for days now on how to best describe this book. There are so many elements to it - psychological thriller for one - but it was so much more than that. At it's core, it's a true literary read, which I find is rare in the thriller genre, but it was also an intense look at nature vs nurture. And it was just the right amount of "thrill". It wasn't outlandish or grasping for twists and turns at every corner. The layers are deep, this book sucks you in from the first pages and will have your heart beating loudly as you frantically turn the pages wanting more. 

In a nutshell, Blythe, married and expecting her first child, is terrified at the thought about what kind of mother she will become. And rightfully so, as we learn that she comes from a long line of abusive mothers who want nothing to do with being mothers. Blythe wonders: can I be the mother I need to be for my child when I wasn't nurtured by my own mother? But as worried as she is, she approaches motherhood with hope that maybe she can break the cycle. And therein starts this terrifying, yet fascinating story of Blythe and her husband Fox and how their lives are turned upside down by the brith of their baby girl, Violet. I went into this book pretty blind, and so I will stop here because I think the less you know, the better! 

Thank you to Netgalley for the advanced copy, and thank you to Ashley Audrain for writing one of the best books I've read in a really long time!

4.5 stars
Psychological drama, dark, page-turner, don't expect to do much else but read this book once you have started. Looks at dysfunction, through the eyes of a participant, so what is real and what is not? It kept me up late, turning pages while I stirred the soup, and got me to think about the families I know. 
We become what we have been given. Who we are will be passed down to the next generation, you cannot deny it. Motherhood is not perfect, admit it. Our minds can be shattered by tragedy.
Hold tight, it's a rollercoaster.
#NetGalley #ThePush

The Push is the buzziest book in Canada right now and it's making a big splash in the US, too. Ashley Audrain's debut novel secured her a multi-million dollar deal and it's been everywhere since it was published earlier this month. I'll say this: it is a story that has stuck with me since I finished it. 

Here's the synopsis:
Blythe Connor is determined that she will be the warm, comforting mother to her new baby Violet that she herself never had.
But in the thick of motherhood’s exhausting early days, Blythe becomes convinced that something is wrong with her daughter–she doesn’t behave like most children do.
Or is it all in Blythe’s head? Her husband, Fox, says she’s imagining things. The more Fox dismisses her fears, the more Blythe begins to question her own sanity, and the more we begin to question what Blythe is telling us about her life as well.
Then their son Sam is born–and with him, Blythe has the blissful connection she’d always imagined with her child. Even Violet seems to love her little brother. But when life as they know it is changed in an instant, the devastating fall-out forces Blythe to face the truth.
The Push is a tour de force you will read in a sitting, an utterly immersive novel that will challenge everything you think you know about motherhood, about what we owe our children, and what it feels like when women are not believed.
When I first agreed to review The Push it was months and months before the release and I didn't know anything about it. But, I thought, sure, I'd give the thriller a try. It wasn't until closer to the publication date that I realized how much it was going to be about motherhood. I had to work on my headspace before starting it because I don't tend to read books about mothers. I don't have kids, I don't want kids, and don't really understand why people want to be mothers. I'm happy for those who are, of course, I'm not completely heartless! But when it's a domestic thriller (something I've realized isn't my thriller of choice) and so focused on motherhood? I worried I wouldn't really get it. I think that worry was warranted because while I would say this is a pretty good book...I don't think I liked it? But I didn't dislike it. It's very conflicting.

Audrain keeps the tension high through most of the book. Buuut...I got lost with the flashbacks to Blythe's mother's life and her own childhood. I don't know if it added a whole lot to the story. She didn't have good maternal role models. Say that once and move on. 

I think the way Audrain ended the novel was so perfect. It's not tied up in a bow but it totally fits the rest of the book. And the way she led up to that point? You start thinking one thing but by the end? Nope. Your thinking was totally wrong. At least, mine was!

I didn't love The Push, I think that much is clear. But I think Ashley Audrain has written a debut novel that will make people talk for a long, long time. The story is a twisted one with surprises that no one can see coming. It's not an easy read but it's one that will keep you turning the pages until the very end.

*An egalley of this novel was provided by the publisher, Penguin Random House Canada, via NetGalley in exchange for review consideration. All opinions are honest and my own.*

This debut novel is a thoughtful look at the cycle of emotionally abusive childhoods tend to repeat themselves, mental illness to a degree and how to love a child who is clearly a psychopath. But what do you do when no one but you knows it? That is how life is for our main character Blythe. Violet her daughter almost from day one acts as though she can’t stand to be with her mother. Many say, but how can this be? She is just 1 mos old, she’s just 2 years old, she’s only 5! She doesn’t mean anything by it. Violet is a good girl, Blythe knows there’s something wrong with her daughter but no one believes her and they begin to doubt HER sanity. When an unspeakable tragedy occurs things only get worse for Blythe and Violet is getting no better. Blythe doubts her own ability as a mother because in flashbacks we have seen how mother and daughter relationships have gone in the previous two generations. I really enjoyed this fresh approach the author used in the telling of this novel. It is not a book perhaps dealing with a difficult child of their own at home, but it is a novel that asks the real question so many mothers ask themselves daily: “Am I a good enough Mother?”

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this unique and well written novel.

This one is definitely going on my list of favourite books of 2021! It may be early in the year but I truly did not want to put this one down. A warning that it does contain some topics and material that could be a trigger for some readers.. An unsettling read, but a fantastic one which poses the age old question of nature vs. nurture. Dark and chilling, this will not be the book for everyone. 

Our main character Blythe and her husband, Fox, are expecting a child. She has hidden a lot about her past and these hidden memories come out in many of the chapters. Blythe’s childhood and relationship with her mother is very traumatic and very unresolved. As was her mother, Cecilia’s relationship with her mother, Etta. 

Blythe is determined to break this cycle when her daughter, Violet, is born. But there is something not quite right with Violet. Fox doesn’t see Violet the way Blythe sees her and brushes off any concerns that Blythe has about her as she grows older. 

Years pass, warning signs are ignored by Fox, and Blythe becomes pregnant with their second child, Sam. Sam is a bright light for Blythe. Their lives will not stay blissfully happy for long, though. 

Without giving more away, I will if you’re looking for a thriller you will not find one here. This is a more of a psychological family drama with an excellent first-person narrative that you will not be able to put down.

I remember when I read Sing, Unburied, Sing there was a character described as not having the mothering instinct. Empathy is something I love to feel for the characters I read about, but there seemed something so unnatural, so foreign to me about this lack of mothering instinct. In The Push, this concept is explored in detail, through multiple generations, but mostly through the protagonist, Blythe, and her daughter, Violet. Given Blythe’s upbringing, the reader is given to wonder if she does, in fact, not know how to be a mother. Or is it a mother’s instinct that knows something’s off? This is one interesting and thought-provoking book.

Just finished my first book of 2021, The Push by Ashley Audrain.  My reading has started off this year with a bang,  Thank you NetGalley!  It’s difficult to put this book down because each chapter ends leaving you with a need to know what happens next.  This story starts with a woman watching a seemingly happy family from her car.  We are introduced to Blythe who begins to tell her story.  When Blythe and Fox have their first child, Blythe second guesses her feelings and thoughts about her relationship with her child.  We learn about her relationship with her own Mother and Grandmother and how this affected her growing up.  Blythe observes behaviour in their child that causes her to question herself and when she tries to seek reassurance from Fox he brushes her concerns aside and assures her she is a good mother.  When tragedy strikes the family, things spiral out of control and their lives go in different directions.  This book grabs you from the beginning and doesn’t let go!  I highly recommend this book to everyone who loves a thrill ride.

I thoroughly enjoyed The Push by Ashley Audrain, which is a strange thing to say because I was at times left absolutely wrung out by her descriptions of the emotions Blythe was going through. I felt I was right there with her as she manages her life as a new mom with Violet when nothing seems to be going right. And she feels worthless as a mother. 
These feelings are not helped by the traumatic childhood she had with her mother and grandmother Cecilia and Etta.  
Highly Recommended 
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC

Holy moly but this one was intense. As a mother myself it was hard to read. There are natural fears that parents have about their children, are they going to be healthy, kind, smart, etc but this story took it into the darker thoughts. What happens when you suspect your child being capable of horrendous things? How do you reconcile yourself to what they do and your love for them? So many of the worst fears parents have for their children are present in this book and the way they were displayed was horrifying and impactful. I just couldn’t stop reading. It was like watching a train wreck. That last line made me gasp out loud. I want to know more. I wanted to keep reading it after it was over. That was one of the most intense books I’ve read in a long time. Amazing.

Thank you to the publisher for my copy of this one - all opinions are my own.

I LOVED this book, which is the most basic thing I can say about it.  I love the absolutely unique way it is written, I love the INSANE tension in this plot, I love the fact that you are perpetually on edge of not knowing what will happen next, but understanding it won't be good.

Ashley Audrain has crafted a deliciously evil and highly suspenseful read in this one - I was fully sucked in from the start and admittedly stayed up far to late to finish this.  I can't imagine actually pausing reading this book....I had to know what would happen.

I also loved the honest insight to the realities of post partum depression and the very real struggles some new moms face - it is refreshing to see stories that don't paint becoming a first time mom as nothing but roses and butterflies.  

Overall I won't offer any spoilers, but this is one book that I will be recommending all year long.