Pretending took me completely by surprise. I expected a much more lighthearted read than this one was. Not that I'm complaining. On the contrary, the story certainly held my interest, it just wasn't at all what I thought it was going to be. So, with that in mind, I'll stick to the basics rather than give spoilers. Some aspects of the story are dark and while I don't generally like trigger warnings, this one could do with at least a content warning. I don't usually need or even want a warning, but April's story is an emotional one, and I did find parts of the book harder to get through than others. This is my first read by Holly Bourne and she's certainly talented. The story is well written and kept me glued to the page. There was only one thing that struck me as odd, and I don't feel that I'm giving anything away by mentioning that April eventually needs to come clean with Joshua, which is really the only part of the book that bothered me. Not that she needed to fess up, that's pretty much a given. The thing that confounded me was the timing. It just didn't fit with the character in my opinion. Nevertheless, things happened the way they happened, and that one thing wasn't enough to sway my opinion of the book. It's a story worth reading in my opinion, and I'd recommend it.

I have never read a book by Holly Bourne before, so I was hesitant to read this one. However, I am truly glad I gave a new to me author a try despite my hesitance because this book was really good! There’s a clear message of female empowerment in PRETENDING and it stems from a hefty subject (sexual assault and the feeling of worthlessness). The book has its emotional moments and connecting with the female lead is easy regardless of the heaviness that surrounds her issues. One may start to wonder if this is a book about overcoming and it IS, but its also so much more than that. The author did a wonderful job writing it.

Would I read another book by the author in the near future? Absolutely. I’m so intrigued by her storytelling abilities that I want to immediately go out and buy more. I’d love to see what other kinds of stories she gives to her readers. Would I recommend this one? Absolutely! The subject matter may be a bit triggering for some, but most will see past the hard parts!

𝗠𝗬 𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

This was an important book about trauma and relationships. While the book is written with a light hearted vibe, there are a lot of very serious moments where you feel for the main character. The book fell apart for me a little in the middle but other than that, it was an enjoyable read.

I stayed up late last night reading this book and I’m still in a bit of a state of shock, because it was so very much not what I expected. From the blurb, I expected a sort of darkly funny romantic comedy. What I got was a searing mental health journey of a rape survivor trying, somehow, to process what happened to her, move on and find a healthy relationship with a man she can trust. Even though she’s pretty sure no man is worth trusting.

There are major triggers here for anyone who has survived rape, sexual assault or domestic violence. There are just so many events in the book which could be triggering - ones which the protagonist, April, is negotiating daily as she works at a charity which counsels survivors. Disillusioned after a string of failed relationships (including the one where her boyfriend raped her) April decides to try a new tactic, inventing the persona of Gretel, a Manic Pixie Dream Girl who takes no nonsense from any man. Putting on a confident facade, April/Gretel meets up with Joshua and… I wasn’t precisely sure what the plan was, but it seemed to be to get her own back on men in general, by making Joshua fall for her and then callously dumping him. 

Joshua’s not perfect - he definitely does a few things which made me side-eye him and which April clearly actively disliked - but he’s a basically decent guy and April eventually comes to the conclusion that she has to come clean if they have any chance at a future. And this is where the story lost me because she does it in the most stupid possible way, inviting him to be her plus-one at a wedding where, of course, nobody is going to call her Gretel and Joshua is going to discover in a very public way that he doesn’t know who she is at all. It’s basically setting herself up for a huge public confrontation and humiliation and I hated it, because it really didn’t fit with April’s non-confrontational style at all. 

This does, sort of, deserve to be classified as a romance because there is an HFN (Happy For Now) ending, but it’s really April’s mental health journey, and an extraordinarily painful one at that. I didn’t find much humour in it, though I did nod in agreement so many times as April once again despaired; any woman who’s ever discovered a man was massively over-selling himself or just flat-out lying in order to get sex will definitely painfully relate. It’s raw and honest and cathartic and possibly quite therapeutic, though honestly if your state of mind is anything even approaching April’s, you should definitely get therapy (as she finally does, thankfully - her creation of Gretel appears to be a dissociative personality and very close to schizophrenia manifesting). 

Even though it’s not what I expected, it’s excellently written, with the exception of April’s weird choice of when to come clean with Joshua. It’s sharp and real and painful and it definitely won’t be for everyone because there are a lot of women for whom it will just be too confronting and triggering. Approach with caution, but it’s definitely worth the read. Four stars.

I made it to 20% before I had to mentally throw my Kindle across the room. To be blunt, I hated everything I read. April is the most annoying, whiny, why-doesn't-he-like-me character. I just can't.

Obviously this book just isn't for me as there are plenty who seemed to enjoy it.

Although I am not affected by its topic, I do feel a trigger warning would be helpful given this background of the character.

Even if I found it well written I found the story a bit confusing and didn't liked the characters.
Not my cup of tea.
Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this ARC, all opinions are mine

I found this one a hard read. Not only because of the subject matter but of the main character April's need for alter ego Gretel to work through her messed up views on relationships and what men want. While there is a lot of ugly truth in this story I just couldn't totally relate to her as much as I wanted to. 
I received an advanced copy of this book from Netgalley for my honest review.

I was instantly drawn in to this hilarious, and totally relatable, story of one girls trials with Men and modern dating. I was laughing hysterically from the very first paragraph, and found myself sharing a few more chuckles throughout the story. I liked what Holly Bourne did with the premise, using it to shed light on how society has women thinking they need to act in today’s dating world. There were certain aspects of the story that, and maybe it hit a little too close to home, but I felt they were a little over done or too far fetched. I wasn’t the biggest fan of the catfishing aspect of April’s story, as that truly is an issue in current dating society, but that’s just me and my opinions. The ending was cute and wrapped it all up nicely.

Overall I rate this book a 3.5 stars, as I didn’t love it as a whole. I found the humor tasteful, and the heavy subjects well written, but it’s not a book I’ll find myself reading again. Mind you, please take my review and opinions with a grain of salt, as I know many people whom will thoroughly enjoy this story and whom I look forward to hearing thoughts from.

Absolutely fell in love with April aka Gretel and her dating adventures from start to finish!
Alice is our main gal who pretends to be the more popular dating gal to get rewarded heavily with love and affection.
It works to a point in capturing Joshua's interest but not before having several dating misses and zeroes instead of heroes.
As this is my first book by this author I can't note similarities between past works but can say it was a fun, charming, quirky and oh so sadly relatable journey.
This new novel also explores some extremely difficult situations such as rape by an ex boyfriend.
Her explorations in self discovery, openness, trust worthiness is soon apparent and becomes a game of leveling and tearing down those protective walls and boundaries to allow love to enter.
Enter is the keyword because one man attempts to win her heart but is he the right partner for her?
A unique new experience by Holly Bourne!
Thank you to Holly, the pub, NetGalley, and Amazon Kindle for this ARC in exchange for this honest review

This is the second book I’ve read by Holly Bourne and as I reflect on the first – The Places I’ve Cried In Public – and this one - PRETENDING – I can see similarities in the narratives as well as my reactions to them.

Bourne writes books that make it difficult for readers to remain aloof; she writes about sensitive topics with such rawness that I can’t help be invested in the emotional journey of the characters. I find myself thinking about the surface and underlying messages Bourne is writing about, and I like that she makes me stop and think about how I would react if confronted in certain situations.

For all this, I found PRETENDING to be a disappointing read for one very simple and very important reason. Not once did any of these characters think about or do anything to help themselves reach a point where they liked themselves; where they were content with themselves or the selves they were working towards being. Instead, the key message that I got from reading this book was all about the importance of finding and keeping “the one” to avoid being lonely and alone. How utterly depressing that with all they go through, April, her flatmate Megan and other female characters were striving for was the approval of someone else – a man.   

Bourne’s writing can tug at the heartstrings. It can make you laugh as well as bring out the most cynical side of you. This book has so many important things to say but, in my opinion, she focused on the wrong thing and as a result, the power of her intended message is diminished. 

I do think the book is worth reading for the messages that it is trying to convey. And while this was just an okay read overall, I would not discourage anyone - especially men - from giving it a go.

I can’t say enough amazing things about Pretending by Holly Bourne. It is raw and real and humorous and gut-wrenching and just absolutely incredible. Pretending is about April a thirty something single woman who works at a non-profit that deals with a lot of sexual assault. April herself has dealt with this and that is what drew her to the job a few years ago. Now, she is dating and can’t seem to get past five dates with a guy. She constantly compares herself to “Gretel” which is an imaginary dream girl, she is everything that a guy wants. April, being fed up with herself and the way she is decides that she is going to become Gretel so she can date and for once she can be the one with power instead of the man. 

Be warned if sexual assault and trauma is a trigger for you this is not the book for you; however, this book is so beautiful in the way that Bourne deals with trauma and grief. The book is in first person perspective from April’s perspective and the writing style and voice that Bourne gives to April is so incredibly relatable. I had to put the book down after the first chapter just to scream, “YES!! YES!! This is what I am feeling.” Bourne puts into the words things that many women feel and don’t know how to voice. The self-doubt, the powerlessness, the anger, and feeling we are never enough. Bourne gets it all so right. 

This book will make you laugh out loud and burst into tears. I have never felt so seen and so heard than when reading this novel. Every woman should read this, especially if/when you feel alone, and every man should read this to have a glimpse into the world that women live in everyday simply because we are women. This is a book I will never stop recommending.

*I received a free copy of this book in return for an honest review.*

In "Pretending", April, the main character, makes it clear that she hates men. She works at an organization that provides help to abusive relationships, and sometimes her job reminds her constantly of why she hates men. She also is single and looking for someone. But did I mention that she hates men? So the search gets really hard.
Overall, I would say that the book is interesting. At times her internal dialogue with herself gets long and tedious (I get it, she hates men), but the book itself is pretty interesting and there is a story about trusting people somewhere in there.

"Pretending" can't figure out what it wants to be, and ends up swinging wildly between a manifesto on sexism and the predictable beats of rom-com. It's unsatisfying as either one, adding thoughts about subtle gender discrimination, sexual pressure and straight-up assault in a fairly generic romance with a completely forgettable man as the heroine's goal.  This has interesting moments but is neither a thoughtful look at sexual abuse or a fun love story.

I was expecting a run of the mill chick lit light read, but that's not what this book is. It's way better. April came across as so real and genuine and speaks for what so many women are feeling. And it got me re-watching Dawson's Creek.

TRIGGER WARNING: I am putting this up front and center because this book has a lot of trigger warnings for sexual assault. I loved this book, but it could very easily harm some.

April is your normal 30 year old girl. She has her baggage, but no more than anyone else. So why cant she get past date 5? April is tired of men and their games. It’s time to bring in Gretel. Gretel is the girl that always wins the game. Only problem is…she doesn’t exist. April however, pulls from her inner Gretel and starts dating anew. Only problem is she might be starting to have feelings for the guy she has spent the past dates lying to. How long will April be able to continue pretending?

Ok, so now that the warning is out of the way…this book was much heavier than I expected, but it was so damn good and so freaking accurate. I don’t know how Holly Bourne could bring herself to write about this issue without having faced a situation like this, or having a very close friend or family member that has. For that, I send you a huge virtual hug Holly. If you are someone that stands up against the “witch hunt” or continues to say they it wasn’t “that bad” you need to read this book. The struggles the main character faces about feeling unlovable, not good enough, and damaged are ones I think we have all faced at one time or another. This book dives into some seriously deep subjects in an amazing way.

I was pleasantly surprised by this book. The premise looked interesting. April is ready for a relationship, but can't seem to make it more than a few dates. Men think she is too clingy. Is it her or the men? She becomes Gretel, an aloof version of what she thinks men like. She can't help falling for someone while she is testing this out.

I think a lot of us can relate to this. Why doesn't he/she/they like me? Would they if I was less this or more that. Because of this, I really enjoyed the read. I wasn't sure based on the cover. It was nice, I was just convinced that April would be annoying. Surprisingly she was likeable. There is a secret, though. All of the adjectives that are crossed out on the cover hide who April really is.

This is a HEAVY book which covers heavy topics like trauma and assault. I just wish the depth of the characters had matched the depth of the story. They felt oddly immature. Also, we live in a world where women are hurt by men, sometimes often. But I'm not sure we needed quite thus many man-hating rants. Again, the length and quality of the rants came off as immature to me. This book just wasn't for me. 

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

This was a pretty intense book. In April’s own words; she’s damaged. A violent assault in your past has a tendency to do that to you. Needless to say, she hates men, and when the latest in a long line of men lets her down, things start to fall apart. The anger April holds inside starts to bubble up and overflow into her life, work and friendships.

That’s when April invents Gretel. Gretel is confident and everything that men want in a woman. Gretel is the one in control and holds the power in the relationship. Sadly though, Gretel doesn’t exist and when a new relationship starts as revenge but becomes something more, April isn’t sure when the pretending is going to end.

My heart really went out to April. Pretending is a mix of anger, heartbreak, friendship and Dawson’s Creek. With likeable characters that make you really care what happens to them, you really root for April to finally be able to face her past and start to heal.

I’ve seen a few reviews call this a feminist masterpiece and I would certainly argue against that seeing as both April and her best friend Megan seem trapped in a world where women love Dawson’s Creek, Laura Ashley cushions and spend their time pining over men. However, that being said it doesn’t take away from the interesting gender power debate it raises and confronts the reader with all hidden with a girl meets boy storyline.

Yet another book this year that I have immensely enjoyed, and one that (just like “Want”) where I had to step back after reading and pause, because something the protagonist said or did was so uncannily like me I swear that I’m being observed by the author. ⁣
This book had me hooked from the very first sentence. Reading about some of the ways April was treated by men triggered my own memories of being in toxic relationships. Her dating woes & feelings about loneliness and desperation were also extremely close to my own experience, and it was refreshing to read about a character who shared how I felt. The more I read about the way April was treated, I deeply sympathized with her and her behavior. As a sexual assault survivor, our trauma & healing process manifests in different ways. It’s made evident how the author put such care and attention to those details of April’s life, and never made her come off as a caricature. ⁣
I felt that April was a fully developed character, and I appreciated how the other characters weren’t cliches at all. I loved April’s dynamic with her roommate Megan and her co workers. As I approached the end, I wasn’t quite sure how things were going to wrap up, but I’m more than pleased with the result. I can see how other authors might have tied up April’s life in a pretty bow and pulled a happy ending out of nowhere, and this one is much more realistic. This book wasn’t always easy to read, but it was still one of the best I’ve read this year. ⁣

I went back-and-forth with my opinions on this book. I really enjoyed parts of it, but I really loathed other parts. The man-hating rants, at times, were a bit long & I feel could have done with some editing. On the other hand, the topic is one that did need to be covered & I appreciate the rawness of the delivery.

That being said, I found this book rather difficult to get into. This was, quite simply, not a book I would read again.