Cover Image: I Give My Marriage A Year

I Give My Marriage A Year

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Member Reviews

A refreshing read from Holly Wainright. It captures the real moments and struggles of a long term relationship and the patterns that develop that can make or break a marriage. An easy read and a constant switching of sides between Josh and Lou’s point of view had me quickly turning the pages.

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Unfortunately I was not a big fan of this one. I couldn’t connect or relate with any of the characters and found Lou and Josh quite unlikeable. I don’t think Lou tried everything to save her marriage and quite frankly probably sabotaged it!

I did enjoy the dual time lines and how the story went back to how Lou and Josh first met and got together but otherwise I found this story quite boring and mundane.

Thank you Netgalley and Pan MacMillan for the review copy in return for an honest review.

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Briiliant!! I have taken tips from this one. The writing style kept me going. I felt invested in this marriage and more than a few times i wanted out. Thank you this was a great read. Looking forward to more from Holly.

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A no-holds barred exploration of marriage that I loved. Set in Sydney, this book to be highly relatable, raw and at times heart-breaking. Lou and Josh are flawed. They've both made mistakes that have chipped away at the foundations of their relationship. And neither feels like the person they once were. So when Lou decides to put a 12 month shelf-life on her marriage, we are taken on an emotional rollercoaster ride. How far will Lou and Josh go to save their relationship? Or will their past continue to come between them? A must-read.

This is the first Holly Wainright novel I've read and it most certainly won't be the last. 4 and a half stars.

Thanks to #netgalley and #panmacmillan for my reading copy.

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I have some complex feelings about this book. I found it quite a hard read – it was difficult to read two people in such a bad place and watching pretty much one person punish another, whether intentionally or not, was definitely difficult.

Lou and Josh have been together or married for fourteen years and they have two children, around 8 & 5. Lou is a teacher and Josh wanted to be a musician but fell into carpentry to pay the bills and he’s still doing it, all these years later. They have a lot of the usual pressures of those who are married with children and living in Sydney – financial, distribution of the emotional load, differences in what they want out of life, especially now. It feels like Lou has really hit a wall – after being Josh’s wife for so long, she’s wondering if she wants to go another fourteen years being his wife and then another fourteen years after that and etc. Plus they have something that they’ve never really dealt with, a decision they made a few years ago that Lou is struggling with, that she blames Josh for and she’s been pushing him in certain ways ever since. Whether she realises that’s what she’s doing or not, it’s basically what it boils down to. And Josh, although he has come to know about it, has chosen to bury his head in the sand about it and refuse to really acknowledge it or discuss it. Lou makes a decision on New Year’s Day, that she’ll give the marriage a year, trying a different thing each month to help try and resurrect it. And if she still feels the same at the end of the year, she’ll let the marriage go.

My problem started with Lou making this decision, despite what she was doing, or had been doing, at the time. Also the first choice she makes is for them to have sex every day, despite the fact that she seems to really not want Josh to touch her and it has to happen every day. No matter what. Josh also doesn’t know she’s doing the whole ‘giving my marriage a year’ thing at first and he’s sort of dragged along on a ride that he doesn’t really know has an end date/destination.

Both Lou and Josh have made a lot of mistakes and have some significant flaws in how they approach things but man did I find it hard to connect with or sympathise with Lou. I think because of the way she reacted after the issue revolving around that decision they made a few years ago. I couldn’t really get on board with that and I found myself strongly resenting her as a character because of the choices she made. She had a lot of opportunities to stop what she was doing and she chose not to, and perhaps you could argue that she punishing herself as well as Josh, for both the decision and her reaction to it but it made me look at her and think why are you doing this and also, why are you even still married? There are times when it seems like she really can’t bear Josh and the whole ‘I give my marriage a year’ thing feels honestly, more like she’s torturing him than anything else. It actually felt like Lou checked out a little while ago and the year is just dragging out something. Josh always makes it very clear that he loves Lou, that all he wants is to be married to her and nothing else. He’s not a perfect husband by far – and it takes him a very long time to realise how much of the emotional load Lou carries in their lives, regarding both the home and the girls and this is often a very common gripe in marriages. A lot of the ins and outs of the life of people married with children fall to the women and they know things – the precise schedule of their children, what items they need from the grocery store, when the shower needs to be cleaned, etc whereas men, even if they’re more than willing to pull 50/50 need to be told what to do, rather than just seeing something and doing it. This is Lou’s constant complaint about Josh. He will say to her “what can I do to help” which infuriates her because telling him is just one more thing that she has to do. But I sort of also felt like hey, fourteen years has gone past and you haven’t sat down and had a conversation about this? About how Josh needs to really familiarise himself with the ins and outs of what it takes to maintain a busy home life with two children. Lou is one of the “it’s just easier if I do it myself but then I’ll complain about it because I’ve had to do it all myself”. I also felt the way her mother treated Josh was absolutely appalling and Lou was no where near as supportive of her husband as she should’ve been, nor did she dress her mother down enough when she was horrifically rude to him. It’s okay not want something different, to not want the suburban house with the backyard. It’s okay to not have a fancy city career as well. Annabelle was a horrible person, be it to her own children or their partners. What she said to Josh at his own birthday was inexcusable and the attempts to justify it quite pathetic.

Unfortunately, I didn’t really buy into the ending of this. It just didn’t seem logical to me, after everything that had happened and been revealed. I also think the book didn’t really take the opportunity to showcase the effects of this “year” on the children either. I feel as though this was very well written, because it elicited a strong emotional response from me and it honestly felt like I was in the middle of this miserable marriage and I could see and feel very well how the characters were feeling. But I didn’t enjoy the experience, to be honest. I hated almost everyone in the end, I didn’t actually feel like I was rooting for Josh and Lou to stay a couple. I couldn’t see it. Actually, I didn’t want to see it, after everything they’d done to each other. I did not feel supportive or connected.

5/10

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Thanking Netgalley, Pan Macmillan (OG MVPs)and Holly Wainwright for being so kind as to allow me to read this the day before publication in exchange for an honest review, that I’m not really good at writing.

Because I loved it and I read it all in one day. I don’t ordinarily read these kinds of books. And when they’re Australian, I get kind of annoyed that they don’t reflect my reality. But this book is soooo Sydney. I haven’t read a book this Sydney since Big Man’s Barbie and I didn’t even live here then.

They meet in Newtown (at The Bank of all places). They go out to the Hopetoun to see experimental music (my husband tells me he was more than likely doing sound that night 😂). He’s an inner city public housing kid. She’s from Ryde. It’s full of tropes I recognise. She thinks moving to Botany is the burbs, which is hilarious (I live near Botany). His dad is said to have to see a man about a dog and his name is Len!!! (My mum used to go out with someone just like that and he always read the racing guide.). Her parents are painful, with a mother that consistently ignores the fact that her eldest child is gay and brings his partner to Christmas dinner. It’s outrageous, but it’s kind of funny. Middle class whitish Australia in all its glory. The Sydney band scene. Luca (LOLOLOL).

I i didn’t love everything. She annoyed me a lot, but grief and trauma don’t work out themselves. I can understand her sense of loss of self and being subsumed in a relationship where you just end up taking a backseat because you’re the one who does it, like a lot of women. I don’t even have children and I understand it. The sense of frustration with her is very real, but I understand how she got there. Christmas 2018 it all comes to a head for her because, as she has bought all the Christmas presents for everyone, there is nothing for her. He didn’t remember to get her anything. How many of us relate to that?

As the novel progresses through 2019, we get to the bushfires. As the smoke gets thicker over Sydney, Lou begins to see her life clearer and how grief and past trauma led to where she is now. I cried at this point because for us it’s not at all far away and with the benefit of 20/20 (geddit?) hindsight, we know what’s coming.

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Fun look at a marriage, challenged by the monotony of life, kids, work and personal fulfilment. What do you do when the spark seems to leave your relationship? Is this how the rest of your life should be? The idea Lou has over giving her marriage a year to see if it is worth saving is a fun premise for the book. I enjoyed having the perspective of both Lou and Josh. It rings true of the situation many couples find themselves in, 14 years into a relationship, with outside pressures from work and children. Fun and entertaining, and with insights we can all use in our own relationships.

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“How do you decide to leave this whole life you’ve built, this family you’ve made, this home you’ve created? The secrets you’ve told, the fears you’ve shared . . . These children you’ve made. How do you decide to just leave?”

After fourteen years of marriage, Lou has realised she is no longer happy, but she feels she can’t just leave, for the sake of both her unsuspecting husband, Josh, and their young daughters, Stella and Rita, she has to try everything to save it. So Lou decides to give their marriage a year, setting tasks for each month that self help books suggest may help repair the rift between her and her Josh, from having sex every day for a month, to sharing a fun activity, to marriage counselling, before making a final decision.

“I give my marriage a year. Bold. Underlined. I give my marriage a year. Exhale..... I’m going to try everything I can to save my marriage, Lou wrote into her phone. And if it doesn’t work I’m going to let it go. Exhale.”

Told from the alternating perspectives of Lou and Josh, Holly Wainright presents a thoughtful, witty, and poignant portrait of a floundering marriage in I Give My Marriage A Year.

Shifting between the past and present, Wainright sensitively explores the changes in, and the complexities of, a long term marriage, from the carefree bliss of courtship to the irritants, disappointments, compromises, and crises that can erode the foundation of a relationship.

Lou and Josh are well developed characters, whose strengths, flaws and emotions felt authentic. I empathised with both characters, familiar as I am with the ordinary stressors of marriage - finances, parenting, intimacy, housework, and life goals. I felt both Lou and Josh had valid grievances, and though it’s tempting to take sides, I think Wainwright did well to balance the culpability of each in the breakdown of their relationship.

The supporting characters are also well drawn and believable, and contribute effectively to the story. Wainwright shows how the parents’ of Lou and Josh influence the couple’s thoughts about marriage, as well as the experiences of their siblings and friends. Lou’s best friend, Gretchen, provides interesting contrast with her less conventional ideas about relationships. I was also impressed with the author’s realistic portrayal of the children, something many authors struggle with.

Well-written, thought-provoking, and absorbing, though there is plenty of drama and angst to be found in I Give My Marriage A Year, there is also humour and optimism. I quickly found myself invested in the story of Lou and Josh’s marriage, and was never sure if they would reconcile or not, until the last pages.

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I have loved everything that Holly Wainwright has written so far and this was no exception - I really enjoyed this! The story was so engaging and I found myself struggling to put it down as I needed to know if Lou and Josh were going to stay together or not! I loved that the story was told from both main characters points of view and although I really struggled to warm to Lou (she just wasn't likeable) I really admired how relatable all of the characters were and how beautifully Holly explored the breakdown of a marriage in a very honest and realistic way that I can see many readers relating too. I can't wait to see what she writes next!

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Thank you Netgalley for an electronic ARC of this book by Holly Wainwright.
Josh and Lou, has been married for 14 years and trying to save their marriage. The story was told from Josh and Lou's perspective. This story totally strips what's happening in marriage life - the after kids stage, the career's sacrifice, the in-laws expectations. It's a complex story of love, betrayal, secret in a marriage life. You might experience a hate and love relationship with the characters, but I ended up liking both at the end.

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lelisbookclub
( #gifted @macmillanaus ) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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"I Give My Marriage a Year paints a sharply accurate, often hilarious picture of a modern Australian marriage. Lou and Josh are a couple on the edge, and their efforts to bring their relationship back from the brink will resonate with anyone who has ever asked themselves: is this enough?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Whose side will you take? Who deserves a second chance? And will Josh and Lou stay together or split for good?"⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I liked that this book flipped from present day to the past as it really gave me an insight into what their life was pre-marriage and the characters felt more real- obviously when you get to know them a bit more. Overall, a great book!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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3.5 stars

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After 14 years, how would you decide if your rocky marriage is worth saving?

Lou wakes up on the first day of 2019 with another man in her bed and the realisation that her marriage may not last. She decides to give it a year, and if after she tries everything, including daily sex, positive affirmations, and therapy, things haven’t improved, she’s going to walk away.

Woah! There are some big steps Lou takes to find out if Josh and she are going to last.

The story opens with the image of a tree that has overgrown in Lou and Josh’s front yard. This tree represents all that Lou loves about her house, but was it ever a home? As we are taken back to when the couple met, in the cutest and funniest topsy-turvy scene, it’s easy to find reasons why these two should stay together. But as the story unfolds there are many ups and downs they have faced that we learn about, helping us to understand how they ended up on the verge of divorce.

I love that this book is told from both Lou and Josh’s perspectives, but I loved Josh the most. He is a genuine guy that never gave up. The therapy sessions are captivating scenes, and the last quarter of the book had my emotions running high.

I loved all the supporting characters, the grounding of time with the use of current events, and the real and relatable, Lou who got lost being a mother.

This effortless read builds to a tense ending that really hits the mark!

Thank you to @netgalley and @macmillanaus for providing me with an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I enjoyed this book so much!

Australian author, Holly Wainwright’s third novel, I Give My Marriage A Year is a four-star read! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ It will be published on the 25th of August, and can be pre-ordered now!

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Lou is giving her marriage a year. She has decided she will try EVERYTHING and ANYTHING to save it in the next 12 months. From a month of sex, to brutal honesty, therapy and asking for life advice from an 11 year old, Lou will try everything to save her 14 year long relationship and keep her family together.

I wanted to love this book but I just couldn't. I didn't connect with any of the characters and honestly found Lou and Josh really unlikable. I kept comparing the novel subconsciously to TJR’s ‘After I Do’ which has a vaguely similar plot but with loveable characters and a bright, fun plot and left me with the warm and fuzzies. All I felt with this book was a slight relief the drama was over.

What I did like about this novel was how the author unbiasedly told both sides. She presented both Josh and Lou as flawed characters showing their wins and loses and did not expect the reader to pick a side to support. She perfectly explained the interactions one goes through after a breakup or when your friends and family know your relationship is on the rocks. Conversations with your partners friends who are loyal to them but still want to give you advice, awkward encounters with your partner's acquaintances and confronting conversations with your parents where you have to admit your own faults to understand how you impacted the relationship. These parts of the novel were done really well and felt real and raw unlike the rest of the dialogue which was quite flat.

A very drama filled novel exploring love, heartbreak and all the betrayal, lies, hurtful truths and secrets in between, this novel definitely gives the reader an insight into a marriage gone wrong and has taught me many lessons of what not to do in the future.

Recommended for lovers of books that play out like rom coms or people who like flawed characters in their love stories, hopefully you will enjoy this one more than I did!

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Thank you to NetGalley for the opportunity to review this book. I found it quite tedious to get through. I couldn't form any connection with any of the characters and I honestly thought Lou was just a terrible person. It did have some promise but unfortunately fell a bit flat.

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How far would you go to save your marriage?

After 2 kids, a home, careers and 14 years of marriage Lou tell Josh she’s giving their marriage a year to decide wether or not they should stay together.

Every month for a year Lou sets new goals and test for them to try, from sex everyday for a month to seeing a therapist. Secrets are kept quiet until they combust and everything is laid on the table. Can you really forgive someone and move forward?

I loved that the book flipped from current day to the past to piece together their different upbringings, challenging family dynamic and their love story across the years.

It all comes to a head under dire circumstances and they both decide what they want in life and if they want a happily ever after together or apart!

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Lou and Josh have been together for 14 years. They share two kids, a mortgage, careers and plenty of history. Now, after a particularly fraught Christmas, Lou is ready to ask herself: is this marriage worth hanging on to?

Wainwright does it again - another fantastic read! This book is very different to Mummy Bloggers, and while I didn’t enjoy it as much, it was still a great read. It explores divorce and the break down of a marriage in a funny and honest way. It’s real and it’s hard. It is told from both Lou and Josh’s perspective as they remember the early days when they first fell in love, while they try to reconcile what went wrong. It’s fantastic!

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I find this book a bit hard to review. At times I loved it, but at times I really disliked it.

The characters were quite unlikable in my opinion, and make decisions that didn't make any sense.

While this wasn't a terrible book, I don't think it was really for me.

Thank you to the publisher for providing me with a copy of this E-book to review via Netgalley.

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Lou and Josh have been together for 14 years and Lou is starting to wonder if she can see herself with Josh for another 14 years… and another. She decides she owes it to their marriage, and their children, to give their marriage a year. With a growing list of trials for each month of the countdown, she will try anything she can. From sex every day for a month, couples counselling, honesty and more. Josh isn’t really sure what’s going on. He just knows his wife doesn’t have the same happiness inside her anymore. There’s been a couple of big incidents in their relationship, and maybe neither of them have moved them as much as they think. Can he save his marriage? And, has he ever really been ready to let go of the life he thought they would have?

I have really enjoyed every one of Holly Wainwright’s books I’ve read so far, and this was no exception! The blurb of this book sucked me in immediately, because, funnily enough, when I was deciding to leave my first husband, my own dad sat me down and said “You’ve been together 14 years, can you see yourself there for another 14 and another….?” I was much quicker to decide the answer to that question than Lou, but, I could relate wholeheartedly to her facing such a big life decision! Told in dual points of view, it was the type of book that had you constantly picking sides (for the record, I found myself on Josh’s side a lot more than I did on Lou’s, but maybe because Lou reminded me of myself a little too much… and looking in a mirror isn’t always the best of fun 😅). As Lou and Josh navigate the good and bad parts of their relationship, including internal struggles like money, life expectations, sharing the household/parenting load and changing intimacy levels, plus external factors such as friends, work and families, the author manages to pull the reader along for the ride, in a story you don’t want to put down. I felt like I was completely immersed in every heartbreak, joy, fear and emotion these characters experienced. I Give my Marriage a Year is full of incredibly well rounded characters I’m sure we could all relate to people in our own lives, for better or worse.

Whether you’re a parent, married, divorced, single or newly in love, I think this book has something for everyone. And if you haven’t picked up a Holly Wainwright book yet, I’d highly recommend you give her a try!

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One of my top reads for this year hands down.
I absolutely adored this book! This one was high up on my 2020 tbr wishlist and so I was very excited to be lucky enough to receive an eARC from Net Galley. Throughout the book I found myself relating to both main characters (probably due to some similarities in my own personal life/marriage) and even trying to decide who's 'side' to be on, however it was so much more than just a troubled marriage story. It really made me feel all different emotions and I struggled to put this one down. Wonderful characters, real-life issues/troubles and a heartfelt story that will definitely stay with me.
Thank you so much to Holly Wainwright, Net Galley and Pan Macmillan Australia for allowing me to read and provide an honest review for such a wonderful book.

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Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Give my Marriage a Year is the third novel by Holly Wainwright and it is completely different from her previous two books: The Mummy Bloggers and How to be Perfect.

We meet Lou and Josh and their two young daughters, an Australian family, living in a nice townhouse in the suburbs of Sydney. But from the very first chapter, we know that their decade-long marriage is in trouble and Lou has decided that she is going to giver her marriage a year either to fix what's broken or to call it quits.

Throughout the book, not only we get to know how their relationship changed and deteriorated over the years as the story jumps from the present (when Lou decides it's time for a change) to multiple key events in their past that have been the foundations for what the relationship is now. But also, we hear from both perspectives, Lou and Josh, and with that, our opinion of who is to blame keeps changing.

Give my Marriage a Year is a sincere and raw account of how complex relationships could be and how in many cases, there is no right and wrong, it is only a matter of perspective. It explores the how the wife/husband roles, that have been dictated by "culture/society", have a deep impact on the overall couples' happiness if there is no honest and constant communication between them.

Holly Wainwright's writing keeps improving with each book. This was a real page-turner for me and I will recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good contemporary domestic novel.

Many thanks to Pan Macmillan Australia for giving me an advanced copy of the ebook in exchange for an honest review.

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