Most of us are avoidant in some form or another, so when I saw the title I picked it— because there's always something to learn and room to improve. I liked how the book talked about the psychology of avoidance and the reasons behind why we act the way that we do. The book offers several exercises, techniques, and advice that I found really useful. 

Thank you NetGalley for this e-ARC.

STOP AVOIDING STUFF by Matthew S. Boone, Jennifer Gregg and Lisa W. Coyne reviews "25 Microskills to Face Your Fears and Do It Anyway." The authors' credentials, a social worker, professor of Psychology at San Jose State, and a practicing clinical psychologist, are impressive. They bring much needed insight to overcoming fears with practical suggestions in sections designed to build awareness, feel your feelings, free yourself of fearful thoughts, shift your view, and take small steps. Noting that avoidance is about control, the authors use each of the 25 short chapters (e.g., take perspective or practice gratitude) to describe a microskill by using stories and scientific background. This means there are many words, but, unfortunately, few images or diagrams appear to be interspersed.

This personal development book is very practical. A summary of  25 microskills, clearly explained, are broken down, such that you can find something that will help you move forward. I bookmarked a lot of passages in the book to refer to again and again, and I have recommended it to many a friend and colleague when they feel stuck or resistant about doing something..

As a former therapist, helping clients combat avoidance was an ongoing challenge, especially for those with anxiety. What they want to do is avoid feeling anxious, when avoiding it is what makes it worse. This book explains concepts like secondary gain (what you are getting out of continuing the avoiding behavior) in a straight forward, easy to understand manner. It exposes the truth about some misunderstood concepts, like mindfulness. I like that it lists microskills that the reader can try to make progress without feeling overwhelmed. I could see some readers having resistance toward the message of the book and feel like it oversimplifies things too much, like how much a person actually has control over. But overall it's a book I would recommend and use with my clients if I was still practicing.

Not a book I would pick up again, there is something else out there for me. A quick introduction to a skill then geta "teeny tiny practice" for it. So some practical activities to do to help you out.

A fantastic motivational book to help any reader move past the mental blocks and obstacles that prevent us all from achieving success. Love having this one as a resource!

I really like what I've read in this book. Usually I find books of short chapters of sell-help advice frustratingly short and inadequate.

But the advice in this book is the straw that prods the camel into action. It prompts you to get into action and amazingly helps you remember things you've read in other books.

I especially like the chapter on working out small ways to live your values. Very good.

This book begins by discussing why we avoid stuff, and then delves into how to stop avoiding stuff. It’s a useful book with good information about how to avoid stuff and overcome one’s fears. This book allows the reader to pace themselves as they go through it, which allows the reader time to absorb the information and learn how to apply it. I would recommend this book to any reader. 

* I was provided a free copy of this book via the publisher and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

I enjoyed this book and found it really useful from a personal point of view. I found there were lots of great tips which have helped me already. 

Thank you NetGalley for my complimentary copy in return for my honest review.

This book gives a lot of good advice on how to deal with avoidance as a coping mechanism to deal with the things we don't want to think about, or take care of. It's got a lot of tips related to mindfulness too, so if you've been meaning to try that but haven't managed to start yet, this is the book for you ! 
Overall, an enjoyable and interesting read, and a good self-help book.

This book gives the appearance and description as a self-help book. I guess to some it will be that for them. But, this is a book about mindfulness disguised as a self-help book. I was disappointed with each new section/microstep because they were all just different ways to discuss mindfulness. Every step is the same thing just worded differently.

I should have read the subtitle of this book more carefully, as it wasn't at all the kind of book I thought I was requesting. I really need to work on learning how to stop avoiding stuff in the everyday sense, like housework or yoga that I put off because I'd rather be writing, playing with my kids, working in the garden, reading books, etc. This is more about how to stop avoiding things like spending time with your ailing parent, leaving a bad relationship or standing up for yourself.

For that purpose, it's a pretty good book. It focuses a lot on things like mindfulness and paying attention to how you feel. It's written by three different authors and that gets confusing, as they put their names in parentheses as they talk ("I (Jen) had this problem with this client..."). I didn't find the book particularly useful for my own deep issues that I avoid, but I already practice mindfulness and my mother was a psychologist so none of this is really new to me. Still, it's a short and encouraging book for those who want to do the self inventory of 25 little exercises to help you get in touch with your feelings and start changing your behavior to better help yourself.

I read a digital ARC of this book for review.

A lot of good advice in the book. Examines the reasons for avoidance, and how it relates to anxiety. Some good examples given too

I went in thinking this would be a light read, stop doing that start doing this. Boy was I wrong. This book really dives into the personal side of procrastination, the who, why, what of it all. Be prepared to look inward for all of the answers. Addressing your emotions, opening up, feeling vulnerable. Great insight and I enjoyed the teeny tiny practice cues.

Rating: 3.5 stars

This well written, easy to read book offers strategies on how to stop avoiding uncomfortable things. What it doesn't do effectively, in my opinion, is explain why anyone would want to stop avoiding uncomfortable things. Avoiding uncomfortable things seems like an important life skill. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that it's been one of the primary goals of my life. I do things I enjoy, and I don't do things I don't enjoy. Why is that a problem?

To be honest, I think the authors are using the wrong examples—for instance, someone staying in a relationship that makes them unhappy. I don't think people stay in unhappy relationships primarily because they don't want to hurt their partner's feelings by breaking up with them. I think they do a cost-benefit analysis, and stay in the relationship until the perceived cost of staying exceeds the perceived cost of leaving. A better example would be a person who's not in a relationship but wants to be. But every night after work, they heat up their Lean Cuisine and watch Netflix, instead of taking action to meet people, because it's easier to stay in their comfort zone. 

Growth requires leaving your comfort zone, and leaving your comfort zone requires essential pain. It requires trying new things that you're not necessarily skilled at. Avoiding discomfort means avoiding growth. 

But maybe, legitimately, you're not seeking growth in a particular area. For instance, another example they give is avoiding a party because of the potential awkwardness of being in a social situation. Again, this requires a cost-benefit analysis. If the discomfort of the social situation seems to exceed the potential enjoyment offered by the party, then why wouldn't you stay home? That seems like the better choice. 

So, overall, while I think the strategies they offer are good, they didn't make a persuasive argument for why you would want to use them.

This is a recent book based on ACT theory (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).  While I still like the gold standard ACT book “The Happiness Trap” by Russ Harris, this book has some really nice features that might be worth the purchase.  I will say that I do not particularly like the title of this book – I can see people thinking “well I’m not really an avoider” and therefore not thinking this book is for them.  But it’s not really about avoiding per se; it’s about not living a vibrant life because of fear (which is avoiding I guess, but I still don’t love the choice of words). What I’m saying is that I can’t think of anyone this book wouldn’t apply to and I think they have unnecessarily narrowed their audience. 

One thing I love about this book is that it breaks all the concepts down into “microskills”, which means that if you are too busy to sit and read this book cover to cover, no problem! You can simply open up, read “microskill 1” (or whatever skill you think you need) and then get to work putting it into practice.  

The skills are bunched together in categories, like working with thoughts, working with emotions, figuring out your values, working on willingness and so on.  The last three skills are kind of a summary, so if all you have is a little time, start there.

This would be a great copy to own if you are a therapist and a good suggestion for just about any client.  As a client or regular person it’s a good book if you ever feel you are not living your best life.

Like most people I know, I’m an expert on avoiding things that make me uncomfortable: every day, I put off ringing my mother, who has dementia, because the phone calls are so upsetting. I’m aware that my avoidance of these calls is having a really negative effect on my life and is not helping me or my mother.  

So it was very useful to have a specific problem in mind when reading this book, as I could work my way through the exercises, or ‘Micro Skills’, and gain insight into why I avoid the calls, how I can stop avoiding them, and how I can prevent them from casting a shadow over every evening. 

What I hadn’t realised, before reading this book, is that we practise avoidance because it works; it saves us from facing up to uncomfortable situations. Yet avoidance only gives us a temporary reprieve. We think we’re in control of the problem, but the problem isn’t going away. The time we spend avoiding things is time wasted; time which could be spent actively pursuing a better life. 

I could see the logic in this argument; I waste hours every day trying to ignore the internal voice telling me to make the phone call, wrestling with my uncomfortable feelings and trying to suppress them. The advice here is not to fight your feelings and emotions but to observe yourself feeling them and to remember that emotions, thoughts and physiological sensations are information. We do not need to be afraid of them. 

There are several really valuable lessons to be learned from the exercises. I like the concept of ‘willingness’: allowing what can’t be changed to ‘just be’.  The technique which involves writing multiple stories about every situation is really empowering, enabling us to let go of our negative interpretation of situations and move on. Similarly, tacking on ‘I don’t know’ to every thought enables us to think more flexibly about our problems. The idea of ‘workable’ and ‘unworkable’ thoughts is also incredibly helpful. 

Now for some reservations: I have to say that my enjoyment of the book was affected by a few rather crass expressions such as ‘trippy’, ‘sucky’ or ‘squeezy’, which seemed out of place. I also felt that the style was occasionally inconsistent - presumably as there were three authors. Rather than putting the authors’ names in brackets after the anecdotes, I would have preferred to see each author taking it in turns to write sections of the book, each writing in their own style, using their own anecdotes.  Some of the anecdotes weren’t integrated well and didn’t seem useful or relevant - avoiding kissing a girl? Inappropriate surely? Avoiding reading a bedtime story? Not relevant to the subject of fear?

Overall, this book proved to be full of great advice and provided me with several techniques which have helped me to understand and deal with my own problem with avoidance. 

Thank you to NetGalley for my advance copy of this book.

This book has several things going for it. First of all, it’s a very easy read. At no time does it feel heavy or difficult to understand. It’s very straightforward and simple. Secondly, it’s full of micro-skills to help people keep a clear mind, which is especially needed by many during these difficult times (Covid-19). Thirdly, the strategies in Stop Avoiding Stuff are easy to incorporate into every day living. I found this book useful for my business and I’m betting many individuals will find it useful too.

STOP AVOIDING STUFF has short chapters, which makes a more approachable read; however, I’m not sure that having three authors write this particular book was the best approach. 

We end up with three different voices, and the tone of the book dips, twists, and turns. Some readers may like the casual voice with the “dude-talk,” but to me, it feels too contrived. My personal preference is the slightly academic tone that discusses theories exploring why avoidance is so prevalent in our lives.

The book has many tips and exercises that are certainly useful for other readers, but unfortunately, this book failed to resonate with me on a level that I had anticipated.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC and the opportunity to share my reading experience.

I don't know anyone these days who couldn't use some help from this book! I know I do. 

We tend to procrastinate or simply put things off altogether when we're overwhelmed, feeling fear, out of control, san, anxious, and yes, about everything else. Our minds want to shut down and tune out so that we can cope but what we ignore often comes back to haunt us in different ways. 
I thought this book was so helpful in combating everyday stresses and overcoming those thoughts that keep us from living our best lives and being our best selves.