What would the world be like if we were all "totally" honest?

This question lies at the crux of Michael Leviton's memoir "To Be Honest". At its core, it's a reflection on Leviton's upbringing inside of a family that believed in complete transparency at all costs. No facades. No sugarcoating. And above all else, no lies. From a childhood as an outcast to an adult existence that is plagued by unstable relationships and a faltering sense of self, Leviton grapples with being honest in an increasingly shallow and shadowed world.

What I adored about this narrative was a look into the child Leviton's mind. We all know that, like it or not, children are unfailingly honest. But what would the world be like if they told no lies at all? None of us would have self-confidence, I think. From interactions with teachers who Leviton called out for racially profiling classmates to fraught connections with peers who didn't understand his commitment to the truth, we see the fundamental and lasting damage that Leviton's upbringing instilled early on.

Even though the quirky anecdotes and acknowledgment of his underlying skeeziness, Leviton never fully apologizes for his behavior. Even as an adult who has seen the havoc that his honesty could cause, he still values his commitment to barring it all. Unfortunately, for me at least, this made Leviton a highly unlikeable figure, especially as the narrator for the audiobook.

At its core, this should be a cautionary tale that sometimes honesty isn't the best policy. But with Leviton's unwavering belief in the misguided values of his parents, family, and the cult of honesty they belonged to, "To Be Honest" came off as a harsh judgment on the perceived notion that everyone else is living behind a flimsy and fallible facade.

Michael Leviton's memoir is very fascinating, he takes us through the journey of growing up and being raised by parents who only see "blunt honesty" as the way to be in life, and as an adult, he learns later in life that there is room to be like the rest of us. It seems that blunt honesty tends to leave out empathy, compassion, and the ability to have much softer relationships with people. I believe that Michael was able to find that eventually in his life. 
Certainly an interesting read. 
Thank you to NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for the opportunity to review this book in exchange for a copy of the book. #DreamscapeMedia #NetGalley

This book was very intriguing. Michael is a man who was taught to be honest at all times. This is his story of how that has played out in his life and relationships. I wasn't a huge fan of Michael's dad and the ending of his relationship with Eve made me sad. I found myself wondering if someone really lives like this. Is it really all that honest? Very interesting read. I really enjoyed hearing the book in the authors own voice. Thank you Netgalley for this ARC.

On the face of it, this is a book about honesty. But really it's about how we all have a different version of what honesty means. Even the most "honest" characters in this book are far from being totally transparent. I was sure I'd feel irritated by the end of this. But even as our narrator describes the most grating behavior, I could only feel sorry for him and for what his parents put him through. The book's greatest strength is in the author's self-awareness. From the jump, he tells you, without a hint of self-pity, that you're going to dislike him. But he does such a great job at pointing out his flaws and mistakes that it's difficult to feel exasperated by the end. Memoirs often seem like they'll be filled with self-awareness and introspection but too often they are full of navel-gazing. To be Honest is a raw telling of a life upended by so-called honesty and at no point does the author try to cover up his tracks or try to make himself sound better. In the audio version, which is narrated by the author, you can actively hear the annoyance in the narrator's voice. He's none too pleased with himself and his ability to open up about his flaws in perception is what makes this book work.

Wow, this book was really interesting! Michael is brought up in a family that believe you should only say the truth and never lie. This has obviously repercussions on Michael's characters and how he is perceived (usually like rude and a bit odd).
The best thing about this audiobook is Michael himself reading it. The smile in his voice when he tells about the tragicomic experiences in his life is a super plus!
Not my usually kind of read, but really recommended!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This memoir is a mostly enjoyable take on whether you can ever too much of a good case thing, in this case honesty. While the author's story is overall rather predictable given the description, there are still some unsuspected interactions that the author's nothing but the truth mentality in his earlier years brings. These situations will provide an interesting counterfactual for most. His turn at towards the end of the memoir definitely presents its own interesting moments.

AHH this was a DNF for me. I got about 20% in but it just wasn't doing it for me. The same happened with the eBook version. I did find the audiobook better because it was nice hearing it read by the author. But the story just didn't interest me at all. I didn't feel invested.

Worth it, to be honest!
Thanks NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for providing this ALC! I love audiobooks narrated by the author. This memoir is witty and charming. Raised in a "little honesty cult" Leviton's parents taught him to be honest all the time.  His parents come off as nice but very odd.  His dad wouldn't "go easy" when he taught 5 year old Michael chess. Thankfully, his mom told him not to spill the beans about Santa to the other kids in his kindergarten class.  My oldest son made that mistake with some friends from next door. (Oops!)
His experiences were so similar to my own I was left wondering if he was on the spectrum. I'm glad he figured out diplomacy and empathy makes life a lot smoother. This one had me laughing out loud.  I could hear the author grinning as he told some of these hilarious misadventures.

*Thank you to Dreamscape Media/NetGalley for this ARC* 

I laughed. I cried. I wanted to hug the author. I wanted to throttle the author. To Be Honest is cringe-worthy in the best of ways. Raised in a "little cult of honesty", it seems that Michael's family became so hyper-focused on their own golden rule, they ignored most other virtues – kindness, patience, humility. And in the end... it becomes obvious that they were great at lying to themselves. 

This memoir is witty, well-written, hilarious, and infuriating. It also was surprisingly lighthearted, which only further contrasted the extreme manner in which the author lives his life. There were moments where his laughter brought much-needed levity to a difficult situation.  Other times, his unabashed contrarian chuckle made me want to pause the story to write him about going to REAL therapy (not family camp). But through it all, I truly enjoyed this read. 

Quick note: for books like this, I prefer audio versions, where the author is also the narrator. I feel that there is an added layer to Michaels's story when you hear it in his voice, with his inflections, etc. It was like sitting with a quirky stranger over a cup of tea, enthralled by his oversharing. I am not sure if I would have enjoyed or empathized with this particular story, as much as I did, without his voice.

This definitely kept me engaged during my commute and had some excellent moments. Leviton is one to watch, and I appreciate the care that went into production.

4 stars

When people say they had a unique experience growing up, it isn't usually because they were taught to be honest. In Michael Leviton was taught to never tell a lie. In fact, his entire family followed this one simple principle: that the truth should always be told in any situation. Michael's experiences growing up in what he describes as "cult-like" is culminated in the reflective memoir, To Be Honest. 

Despite the story being about himself, Leviton certainly has no problem showing his faults. Leviton is blunt, judgmental, and often socially out of loop with most of the people around him. This is most apparent when Leviton is a child, but the pitfall of always being honest has a profound impact on Leviton's adulthood as well. It was interesting to watch a child call people hypocritical and stupid only to realize later as an adult that perhaps he had been too harsh after all. His story is a great reminder that while the truth is important and powerful, it always isn't asked for. 

The aspect of the story I enjoyed the most was its premise. Every child is taught to be honest and truthful, but how many people truly practice this in adulthood? Many holidays (in the United States) are sugar coated with stories which have no proof to back them. Many social conversations ask for simple pleasantries instead of deep, truthful substance ("How are you?" is often used as a greeting than a true question). This memoir definitely reaffirms the concept that any principle faithfully kept is only a step from radical extremism. It also made me think deeply about how valuable truth is in a modern Westernized country, as well as how many people actually want to hear it. 

The hard part of this story is certainly tied to the faults of Leviton and the slow pacing of the novel, which can make it hard to want to continue listening. While Leviton does learn quite a bit by the end of the story, there is plenty of learning the writer still requires by the end of the book. The reader does not easily forget the pretentious and jaded character we are greeted with at the end of the story, as well as the combative moments we see with him with those he has close connections to. 

Overall, this book has a strangely refreshing concept for a memoir. While the story is not funny, there are great moments that border interesting and ironic. If you are a fan of strange nonfiction, I would highly recommend picking this book up at a local bookstore for your next read. Thank you to NetGalley for giving me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you for the opportunity to download this audiobook. I accessed it while testing a future update to the NetGalley Shelf app. This test was open only to an exclusive portion of NetGalley members, and this review will be hidden from visibility by the NetGalley team.

Michael Leviton was brought up by parents who believed in honesty and direct speaking at all times, a trait that most people would think of as ideal & aspirational, but as young Michael found out, the world doesn't really operate on honesty - "little white lies" or "not hurting people's feelings" are part of mainstream life. 
In this book, Michael not only tells anecdotes of times when his honesty backfired (making friends, dating, even his inability to get a job - interviewers don't generally appreciate honesty!) but he also delves into honesty. He asks whether life would be better if everyone was brutally honest, or if the occasional white lie/sugar coating is really necessary to survive. Towards the end of the book, he starts living by a new set of rules, ones which seem to be almost the opposite of the ones he has lived by so far. His experiences are quite revealing! 

Overall, this is a humorous and fascinating insight into truth & why people lie, as well as an interesting memoir/life story. I listened to the audiobook version, which was narrated by the author. This bring it to life in a particularly unique way. I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys memoirs, or wants to explore what truth & honesty really mean and whether honesty is always the best policy! 

Disclosure: I received a copy of this audiobook free via NetGalley. Whilst thanks go to the publisher for the opportunity to read it, all opinions are my own.
#DreamscapeMedia #NetGalley #AudioBook

I appreciate what this book tried to do in about three-hundred pages. Michael's relationship with telling lies was well-portrayed. This book essentially allows its readers to ask themselves what being truthful really means. It brings to light many questions, that's probably one of its most solid points. I listened to the audiobook narrated by the author. The pleasant listening experience made the book funnier than the topics it decided to tackle. It even felt lighthearted at times, all thanks to Michael's wonderful narration.  Still, I kept spacing out from the story and feeling like I didn't want to keep going. After reaching the halfway mark, I just felt dissatisfied with the direction the book had taken. I expected a more engaging story than the one I had gotten. I wanted to connect on a deeper level with Michael's character and the countless struggles he encountered, but it just didn't happen for me, no matter how many more chapters I read. To me, this was just another story that had a lot of potentials but sadly decided to settle on a more stale approach. While the first half of the book was captivating and kept me hooked, the latter half was too slow-paced for my liking, and I felt myself growing tired with the whole story. I wish I could have loved this more. Nevertheless, I did enjoy it, for the most part. Therefore, I would recommend reading this if you feel intrigued after reading the premise, and if you enjoy memoirs in general, even when they do not reach their full potential.

Every now and then I stumble across a hidden, shining gem. A quirky, strange and offbeat memoir about a life that is completely remarkable in every way. Usually these books have an avid fan base but they rarely achieve commercial success and are typically not well known in bookish circles.

To Be Honest by Michael Leviton is one of those gems, and I am making it my mission to bring everyone's attention to this amazing, and highly entertaining real-life story.

Readers of any of Augusten Burroughs work, but especially Running with Scissors, will be familiar with this style of book. I like to call them dysfunctional memoirs". They tackle life stories filled with human and family dysfunction, often sprinkled liberally with mental health issues and psychological challenges.

In this case, Michael Leviton recounts his life from his earliest memories through to more recent times through the lens of his family's obsession with being truthful. It is unapologetic in its bluntness and Leviton presents the most strange occurences with a straight-forward delivery.

I listened to the audiobook kindly provided by @netgalley and narrated by the author. Honestly, I've never come across an author narrated audiobook that worked.. voice actors spend so much time and effort honing their craft, and they have so much more command of their voices. Apologies to the author, but the narration really didn't work for me. The random inflections of laughter left me confused - was he laughing at himself based on what he had learnt, or was he uncomfortable? His voice was also very monotone throughout, and I sped it up to x2 speed because the pacing felt off to me.

Once I got past the narration, the story was wonderful in a familiar car-crash kind of way. I couldn't look away. I found myself stealing time to listen, eager to hear what bizarre decisions were about to be made.

I always appreciate a flawed protagonist, and this book delivered that in droves. I think I most connected with the author as someone who has grown and learned from their experiences. Having been presented with a very extreme upbringing he was able to temper that later in life through his own hard work and drive to better understand the world and our alien cultural norms.

I wouldn't hesitate to recommend this to anyone who appreciates sharp, witty and ironic stories that are more than a little wild.

“To Be Honest: A Memoir” is what Michael Leviton calls his “tragic love affair with honesty.” It’s hilarious, creative, inspiring and kind of genius. “TBH” is a truly entertaining read because Michael is a unicorn person—unlike any other author I’ve read.

“My parents taught us to be honest,” Michael explains. This all seems good and fine and normal until he peels back what he really means. “Most parents teach their kids to be polite, to hide their thoughts and feelings. Barely anyone really wants their kids to be honest. As soon as their kids are honest for a moment, they freak out and punish them.”

That said, Michael—and especially his father—are brutally honest. Therefore, they come across as rude, too opinionated, outspoken, condescending, negative, critical and obnoxious. Being overly candid and direct also means they’re often inappropriate because they hurt others feelings. Their straight talking also means they’re creepy and awkward. After all, do we really want to know what someone is really thinking and what’s going on in their life? Michael admits to having no shame because—what’s the big deal?—he doesn’t care if people don’t like him.

What makes this book special is that it’s so uncommon to see men being vulnerable and sharing their innermost feelings. Michael shares examples of his issues with dating, being in a long-term relationship, interviewing for jobs and interacting with strangers. He leaves it all on the table.

Michael writes about his experience because he wants there to be more truth in the world. But, damn. It’s so hard to be authentic. No one wants to really know us, our true thoughts, our insecurities. They’d prefer to only know what’s on the surface. They want niceties and polite, politically correct etiquette. Unfortunately, we don’t know how to express ourselves in an honest way. We just want to fit in. But doing so involves the telling of “white” lies, overt lies. And it involves becoming someone else—someone others want us to be.

Another thing I love about this book is the writing. Michael’s beautiful descriptions and bits of wisdom and humor sprinkled in make me envision this as a movie. I can see him exactly in my mind’s eye. And the story is fast-paced and funny. I’m along for the ride. Also, his narration totally makes the audiobook a blast. He knows he’s funny so I can tell he’s grinning while reading. I’m sure he was cracking himself up during sections and had to redo it a few times.

Special thanks to Dreamscape Media for providing me with a copy of the audiobook, via NetGalley, in exchange for my honest review.

This was an entertaining read and definitely different from any kind other kind of memoir I have ever read.  Leviton's parents were brutally honest to the point where they came off as rude and kind of odd. In turn, this made Leviton come off the same way. This is a thought provoking read even though I did struggle in staying interested with it. I just found it hard to empathize with Michael. It's interesting to see how it shaped him as he grew up and his experiences along the way. This really makes you think about the fine lines between lying and telling the truth - when it is or isn't okay to lie. 

Thank you to Netgalley and to the publisher for the advanced copy in the format of an audiobook. The author did a great job bringing his own story to life.

***I received an ARC from Netgalley and the Publisher in exchange for my honest review.***

***I listened to this book via Audiobook.***

Whoa. This book. This book is unlike my usual book of choice. It is interesting and unique in it's own way. The author discusses his life, chronologically, of honesty. Something I noticed, as a school-based Speech-Language Pathologist, is that honesty could really be misconstrued as a lack in social skills; which, as the author portrays in this book, kind of is. It is interesting that we, people as a whole, rely so much on lying. 

Although this book did have some childhood memories that I perceived as shocking, such as interactions that he had with his parents that us "dishonest" people may find odd and there were a couple of stories that could have likely been left out, it really got me thinking; and for that, I am grateful. Overall, interesting listen!

1 star. I listed to the audiobook version of this and without that I would not have believed this was a real story. Michael grows up in a "honest cult" (very apt nickname) completely devoid of any social niceties. He "tells it like it is" without any regard to other people's feelings. Those he believed - are their responsibility not his. Reading this was like watching a train wreck happen, I simply could not look away. 

I think one of the worst examples was his relationship with Eve. She has a very different communication style -  albeit a pretty normal one for women where we are conditioned to suggest what we want rather than outright saying it. By this, Michael (unknowingly or not) takes advantage of her social niceties over and over. From sitting in the AC because he couldn't figure out to ask her what she wanted because "Well if she wanted the heat on, she should have SAID something". 

I see this issue in relationships a lot where men constantly want women to "just TELL me" as if the social cues and clues aren't already out there. As if women are to manage and take on the entire mental load and break it down into bite sized pieces for men. 

To be so blissfully unaware of social cues is male privilege in it's finest. Multiple times Michael goes on first dates that are going poorly (obviously) and he then acosts the women by asking them "what did I do wrong? Why aren't you enjoying it". That sentence alone would set off warning bells in any women that's been socialized to know how dangerous men can be when angry. So when the women lie and say they're having a good time (to avoid the risk of being murdered) Michael calls them all liars. As if he is entitled to this. Then he starts learning to lie, not to understand the world better but as a "social experiment". The entire time he laughs condescendingly about it, as if he's proud to be pulling on over people who are just trying to get by in the world. Alas the train wreck is over. 

thank you to netgalley and dreamscape media for an audio-arc in exchange for an honest review.

First, a disclaimer: I received this audiobook in advance of publishing in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own opinions. Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with this book. Second, another disclaimer: I will be reviewing this book, but I will not be granting a star rating on Goodreads. My star rating system only works for fiction and I am uncomfortable giving a completely subjective star rating to a non-fiction book. Particularly, because most of the non-fiction books that I consume are memoirs or related to social issues in which I am not an expert.

On to the review: 

This is a GREAT memoir and I really enjoyed it and really related to it. I did not relate to the author’s upbringing, but I did relate to the honesty journey. I doubt that Mr. Leviton will read this review, but I feel like laughing and telling him to imagine being a WOMAN. When rejecting a man’s advances often puts you in a dangerous situation or when societal expectations consistently force you to please other people over yourself, the honesty path has higher stakes and a steeper learning curve. AND, don’t mention this aloud… because a lot of people will deem you a crazy man-hater or simply not believe you. My heart is sincerely with the author’s mother and I wish her the best of luck.

As for the memoir itself, I found myself nodding and chuckling along with the author as I listened. While his honesty was considered rude by any social standards, I could relate to the feeling that social niceties are often a manipulation of sorts. I could relate to his quiet recognition of human behavior patterns. And I liked the author a lot. Even when he was a jerk, I liked him. 

After reading this memoir though, I think that I may try to implement speaking up more often. I am introverted by nature. Introverted enough that a year of isolation has not bothered me a lot. I am not dying to go out and socialize. I don’t require physical affection or even conversation with people to the same degree that most people do. I have no real desire to go hang out with people or have long discussions about nothing or even eat out. I am happy to be alone with my thoughts, my books, my journal, and my own delicious food. In fact, getting to stay home all day every day for work has been awesome for me. I hope I never have to go back to sitting in an office and chatting in the breakroom. Because I am introverted, I have no natural inclination to say what I think or how I feel. BUT, maybe I can find a balance between keeping everything close to my chest as a protection mechanism and revealing some of what I am thinking or feeling in a productive and gentle way. Maybe I can improve my relationships by trusting in some of the people close to me more. 

So, in short, this is a GREAT memoir that will entertain the reader, make the reader think, and encourage the reader to look at their own relationship with honesty. I do recommend this one.