What if the secret to a stronger, more passionate relationship could be broken down into clear, actionable steps?

In The Formula of Desire, licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist Dr. Anna Elton reframes desire as a dynamic, relational process shaped by attention, emotional safety, stress, and everyday interaction—not chemistry alone. Drawing on neuroscience, attachment theory, and decades of clinical experience, the book shows why desire often fades in long-term relationships even when love remains, and what couples can do about it.

At the center of the book is the Relational Desire Formula, a practical framework that explains how awareness, emotional connection, affectionate expression, and reciprocal attraction support desire, while stress, unmet needs, and emotional withdrawal weaken it. An accompanying self-assessment translates these patterns into a relational desire score, offering a clear snapshot of relationship health and helping couples see where connection is strong and where it needs attention.