Catakism

A Humorous Purr-spective on Humankind’s Obsession with Cats

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Pub Date 07 Nov 2017 | Archive Date 24 Jan 2018
Darcie Rowan PR | Skyhorse Publishing

Talking about this book? Use #Catakism #NetGalley. More hashtag tips!


Description

Does your cat own you? What has caused us to enthrone cats as the most popular pet on the planet? Why do we devote so much of our time and income to grooming, feeding, coddling, photographing, praising, providing laps for, and “entertaining” our cats? If an anthropologist from outer space were to study our civilization objectively, would she not conclude that our devotion to Cat amounted to nothing less than a full-blown religion? Would she be wrong?

Catakism, the belief system, is rooted in a bold premise: namely, that felines are humanity’s biological and spiritual masters. By allowing Man to handle all of Her low-level needs, Cat is free to do the higher-level spiritual work that Man has no time for, such as meditating seventeen hours a day, teleporting into locked rooms and cabinets, communing with disembodied spirits, and reeducating humanity on the true purpose of boxes, bags, and keyboards.

Does your cat own you? What has caused us to enthrone cats as the most popular pet on the planet? Why do we devote so much of our time and income to grooming, feeding, coddling, photographing...


A Note From the Publisher

If you are located anywhere in the San Diego, Los Angeles, Orange, CA area or AZ, the author would be happy to do a reading and book signing at your library or bookstore.

If you are located anywhere in the San Diego, Los Angeles, Orange, CA area or AZ, the author would be happy to do a reading and book signing at your library or bookstore.


Advance Praise

Jeff Lazarus is a leadership coach, speaker, trainer, adjunct professor, and creative who innovates and builds roads not yet traveled. He has an MBA from Pepperdine University and a BA in interpersonal and organizational communication from California State University, Long Beach. He combined his passion for animals with his teachings on communication releasing Listen Like a Dog in 2016. Lazarus is an observer to the practice of cat worshipping and advocate. After finally having his Cat Mitzvah, way past age thirteen, he wrote the whimsical book Catakism.  For more information about his books and other Catakism-themed products by Jeff Lazarus, please visit his website: www.Catakism.com.


Jeff Lazarus is a leadership coach, speaker, trainer, adjunct professor, and creative who innovates and builds roads not yet traveled. He has an MBA from Pepperdine University and a BA in...


Marketing Plan

National Publicity Campaign

Good Reads Giveaways

Radio Satellite Tour

City Tours to with media appearances secured for:  

* San Diego, CA  - November 6th on Fox 5 TV                 

* Phoenix, AZ - November 8 at 10:15am on CBS 3 TV Your Life Arizona 

* Chicago, IL - November 10th on WGN TV Morning News

Marketing and Advertising budget

Some Proceeds donated to animal shelters in each touring city



 


 

11/9 Pet Pals LA https://www.petpalstv.com/ Syndicated  - Airs to 23 Stations

 

 




National Publicity Campaign

Good Reads Giveaways

Radio Satellite Tour

City Tours to with media appearances secured for:  

* San Diego, CA  - November 6th on Fox 5 TV                 

* Phoenix, AZ -...


Available Editions

EDITION Other Format
ISBN 9781510726451
PRICE $14.99 (USD)
PAGES 184

Average rating from 40 members


Featured Reviews

This book cracked me up. I was laughing out loud every other page (and on the other pages there was still a smile on my face) as I saw myself described so well. Yes, I am guilty of being a cat worshiper. More specifically in my case, our 11-year-old Maine Coon, Mr. Muffin. He rules the house and our lives. And we wouldn't have it any other way.

This book would make a fantastic gift for any cat lovers on your list. It's hilarious and yet
oh-so-true. I couldn't put it down - read it in one sitting.

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When I adopted a rescue kitten, I had no idea that her toys, her furniture, and her preferences would turn my orderly house into her catastrophically, messy house. I've laughed at her antics, cried when she was sick and have accepted the fact that my cat, TK, most definitely is the ‘boss of me'.
This book was funny, entertaining and I even learned how cats first came indoors. The author does such a good job explaining cat behavior that I felt the need to check that TK hadn't figured out how to correspond with the author. Great pictures, an engaging writing style, and Mr. Lazarus understands cats. (At least as much as any human can!) As I was reading, I kept having to stop to text quotes to other ‘cat parents' and because I was laughing so hard. I am so glad the release date is in November as this will be the ‘purrfect' holiday gift.
Thank you, Mr. Lazarus, Darcie Rowan PR and Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review. If you love cats, know someone who loves cats or know someone thinking about adding a cat to their household, I highly recommend this book. No cat lover will be able to resist smiling while reading this hilarious book.

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Creative, funny and smart. Excellent choice as Christmas gift for friends and family

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Princess Fuzzypants here:
Finally! A book that tells it like it is and admits that we cats rule the world through our acolytes. There may be some who might find the articulation of the worship of cats as a formal religion but the Egyptians had it right. Once we decided to domesticate you humans, it was a matter of time before our domination was recognized.
Jeff Lazarus makes many good points and is spot on in his history and comprehension of the people who idolize us, the adherents to Catakism. He does it with humour and love but I must call him up on one or two incorrect assumptions. He says the the invention of kitty litter and the intervention of humans into the basics of our lives, such as procreation, food and lodging, accelerated the practices of Catakism. Purrhaps, from the deluded human purrspective but we cats have no delusions.
Today’s modern world is filled with mean streets where we cats can, if we chose, live harder and shorter lives. However, those of us who have been enlightened, prefer to let humans fawn all over us and take care of our every whim. We train them, often requiring remedial training when they slip. In return, we allow them to keep us indoors, safe and healthy and, dare I say, worshipped.
It is a reasonable quid pro quo. If it was not, we would demand it be changed. We are in charge.
Despite these few inaccuracies, I can recommend this book for the discerning cat and his or her well trained human. I give it five purrs and two paws up.

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Catakism was an enjoyable, quick read. It was full of laughs and fun that any cat lover will appreciate! Tons of funny and gorgeous pictures are included as well. I was worried this would be too silly, but it's got plenty of substance to read and commiserate about the cats we all love. This highly entertaining book would make a great gift for the cat lover in your life! I plan to read Dogtology asap! Well-done!

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Very cute book about cats with attractive photography. Would make a nice gift for a cat lover.

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I received a free copy of this book via NetGallery and am voluntarily leaving a review.

A fur-nominal collection of rules for Cat owners. Clever and punny a wonderful bible for life and a coffee table book for cat owners. A detailed series of rules to live by to be as acceptable to our Cat gods. I want to see more from this author. The humor and relatable stories were wonderful for this cat lover. The images inserted in the text to remind us that even Jeff needs reminding of who the real one in control is are a wonderful addition.

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People who are owned by cats already know that the cats rule. This delightful book enforces that fact.

The authors takes the reader through the ways we do everything possible to make our kitties comfortable while they sit back and laugh at us. We forget that they originally lived outside where the mother cat gave birth to them in the back of a dirty barn or garage. Today, we offer a sterile environment for them which they, once again, scoff at.

Jeff Lazarus describes how we spend much of our disposable income on things for our cats. We buy them the best food, cat toys, cat trees, soft blankets and beds, fancy litter and litter boxes, etc. Then, we are amazed that they take more interest in a simple piece of paper we wad up and throw across the room…or maybe that’s just me and my cats.

The humor with which the author discusses everything Cat will find readers laughing out loud. We know we are guilty of a lot of things we do with our cats, like singing to them being sure to use their name. We think we are making a special bond with our cats while they think we’re just annoying morons.

I loved this book and highly recommend it for each and every cat owner out there. Buy a copy and sit down and learn about yourself…and your cat.

Copy provided by NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.

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Honestly. This is amazing.
If you have cats, you need it. 100% a must have for any cat-parent.
The perfect gift for the cat-loving friend/family/partner in your life.

I will say it's not an easy to read in one sitting kind of thing since it's not so much a novel type book, and more so written in a mock-religious text way. The whole book is well laid out, gorgeous, and hilarious.

This is the purrfect ( ;D ) coffee table book. The cover is visually appealing. It's something someone could just randomly flip through and find a laugh. Oh, and, there are so many adorable cat photos.

I loved it.

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This lighthearted, adorable book does not take itself too seriously, but it does take cat loving very seriously. It’s full of pictures of hilarious cats doing awesome things, and it would make the perfect gift for any cat lover. I should mention here that there is a fair amount of language in this book, which means that your gift giving should be directed toward an adult rather than your kitten loving kiddos. I highly recommend this one!

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I once took a philosophy of religion course that advocated that organized sports like baseball or football fit the definition of a religion. My professor would be thrilled to read this and see his lesson plan evolve to expand cats. This book takes the age old joke of "we think cats are gods and dogs think we are gods" to a humorous extreme. The jokes were funny, the pictures cute, and the points extremely accurate. Real thought is put into making the sections gel together, and I chuckled multiple times. I have earned a stare of disgust or two from my entitled kitties, and have to bring wet food to one of them as they would not leave their napping corner to eat. This book assures me that I am not alone, This will make any cat lover smile!

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I am a cat owner, a cat worshipper, and I laughed a lot reading this book. You read some phrases and think "Oh, so true".
Strongly advised to cat people with sense of humour.
Many thanks to Netgalley and Darcie Rowan PR

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For starters, I am owned by a cat – to presume to be a cat “owner” you must have found an unusual breed of cat, or have one of those rare cats who believe it is a dog.

My cat, or rather the cat that owns me is named Paisley, which suits her as she is either a combination of a Maine Coon cat and whatever combination gave her the uniquely calico colouring she has. I had a cat almost identical to her, whom I found in a small pine tree when I was expecting my first child, and I had sworn that if I ever found another cat that looked like her, I would bring her home. I wasn’t looking for myself, but for my mother who was looking for a companion to keep her company after my father died. And then I saw her picture and contacted the rescue group who had her, and shortly after, she came to live with me, long enough ago that my Golden Retriever was still with us. She would curl up on Bailey’s golden belly and sleep. Now, she outweighs both my dogs together (then again, Halle weighs in at 5 lbs on a fat day.)

I wanted to check out this book because my daughter-in-law (well, one of them) is a cat lover. They have had a recent turnover in their home of cats when one of their two passed fairly quickly and unexpectedly – and quite young. Now there are two newer kitties.

So this seemed from the title alone to be a perfect gift for her, but I figured I should check it out first. It contains ten “chapters” – The Book of Whiskers, The Book of Knead, The Book of Surrender, The Book of Catitude, The Book of Cat Posts, The Book of Purrs, The Book of Hair Balls, The Book of the Mouse, and The Book of Litter. There’s “name dropping” of some of those cats who have achieve notoriety, such as Grumpy Cat, there’s product recommendations, there are web sites and so on and on and on. I’m afraid to keep the pages open too long lest Paisley discover that there is a site called Meowbify which takes a website, any website and adds cat pictures and videos to it, turning it into a cat site.

There is a lot of information in here that I am amazed by – as in “do we really need this?” – but they are more humorous than serious, it’s also a very well done book on the charms of owning, excuse me, being owned by a cat, and some beautifully done photography.

There’s a lot of tongue-in-cheek humour to this, such as the opening prayer, the definition of catakism, the Doctrine of Bow to the Meow, giving you guideline questions to make sure you are “among the faithful.”


Published 24 November 2017

Many thanks for the ARC provided by Darcie Rown PR and Skyhorse Publishing

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I absolutely LOVED this book! Being a devotee to my cat - and even using my cat's name as my very own - of course I appreciated this book about cats! Written with humor and insight, as our secret obsession with our cats is exposed page after page, I laughed throughout as I saw myself and my obsession with my cat written about and now see I'm not alone! The photos are beautiful, the book is beautiful and every "Catakism" devotee needs this book for their own! I just ordered a hard copy of this book for myself! Absolutely recommend!
Thank you NetGalley for the advanced digital copy!

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Do you bow to the meow? Are you one of the 70 million people who devote time and income to grooming, feeding, coddling, photographing, praising, and “entertaining” Cats? Does your Facebook page have more photos of your Cat than of your siblings? Do you buy furniture for your Cat in hopes that one day, he’ll actually sit on it? If an anthropologist from outer space were to study our civilization objectively, would she not conclude that our devotion to Cat amounted to nothing less than a full-blown religion? Would she be wrong?

Catakism is mankind’s unending and near-fanatical devotion to Cat. In fact, a Catakist does not consider Cat a pet but rather a minor deity, no a MAJOR deity. In this furr-ociously funny gift book, author Jeff Lazarus tells how Catakism is a belief that recognizes felines as elevated beings worthy of mankind’s near-religious reverence and devotion. Catakists aren’t just fond of Cats – they extol them and plan their days/nights around the needs and wants of a Cat.

Filled with 40 photos of kitties perched and poised, Catakism is a whimsical, satirical celebration of the relationship between cats and humans patterned after a religious doctrine. Catakism will resonate with cat lovers from all walks of life and every litter. Each of the nine chapters reveal additional proof that humans have a deep need to revere and bow to their house cat. Devotees of Catakism will see themselves exemplified in the same system of rituals, practices and behaviors personified by other devoted orders the world over.

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OMG! This book is hilarious! As any cat owners/lovers know cats rule the roost wherever they go. In our house the cat is definitely the boss (or thinks she is!) this is a purr-fect book for any cat people out there. You will certainly recognise some of the descriptions, this truly is laugh-out-loud funny.

If you are looking for a little light-hearted read then this is the ideal choice for all the cat worshippers!

The book is only available in PDF format, presumably due to the array of pictures that litter (ha!) the pages of kitties doing wonderful things. It wouldn't be the same without the pictures as they add a lot to the book and as a consequence having it in mobi format for Kindle wouldn't be the same.

I would like to thank Jeff Lazarus/Darcie Rowan PR/Skyhorse Publishing and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for my honest, unbiased opinion.

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One would think that picking up this book is proof you are a Catakist. I can unequivocally say that this is not true. I am so not a Catakist.

Nope.

Not at all.

Well, okay, but I'm not a Crazy Cat Lady.

I mean.

Look, I don't take my cats to a Cat Show, and according to this book that makes me positively normal.

Also in my defense, I have a long list of friends to send this book to. So clearly, I am not alone in my religious beliefs.

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Catskist divides the world into cat lovers (catakists) and those whose don't recognize the superiority of cats (DICKS). Proving amusing lists on signs your why your cat may be considered to be spoiled. also included Guideposts such as, "If you have money “left over” at the end of the month after paying your rent, utilities, and life insurance, you are not spending enough on your cat." strictly for cat lovers, but many amusing often trenchant comment on Catakism in general.

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As the frontpage says, Catakism is a 'humorous purr-spective on humanity’s obsession with cats.

Catakism is defined as a) the deep and reverent belief in Cat as master, guru, mentor, sage, and ridiculous ball of cuteness and b) the devotional beliefs and rituals practised by Catakists. This book is chock-full of adorable cat pics and cheeky humour.

Catakism is divided into 9 chapters:
Book of Whiskers- 'As whiskers are a cat’s guide in life, the Book of Whiskers is the guide to the belief system known as Catakism.’ Amusing ‘Signs that you might be a Catakist’ section. At the end is the Catma: the ninefold path of Catakism.
Book of Knead- 'Cats knead us. We need cats.’ All about the false beliefs Catakists hold about what cats need from humans. (Answer? Absolutely nothing!)
Book of Surrender- discusses the moment of 'Cat-a-littic Conversion, when we the human convert to Catakism.
Book of Catitude- covers the attributes of catitude, and special cat skills such as the ability to teleport.
Book of Cat Posts- looks at the wide variety of kitty care, and kitty-themed, purr-aphenalia.
Book of Purrs- all about cat language, and how people talk to, for, and about cats.
Book of Hairballs- a humorous section on cat rituals, such as the harming up of the hairball, and cat-oriented rituals done by humans, like the futile calling of the cat’s name.
Book of the Mouse- looks at cats and computers, from the great internet cat park, to internet kitty stars, to apps for cats. Includes ways cat’s ’help’ humans working on computers.
Book of Litter- discusses litter boxes and 'boxes of litters’, or two definitions linked by cats.

I love the 'crazy cat people’ prayer at the beginning! There is much truth hidden in this humorous look at man’s relationship with Cat. A perfect coffetable read, or gift for the Catakists in your life.

***Many thanks to Netgalley and Skyhorse Publishing for providing an egalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.

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