I Love You So Much It's Killing Us Both
by Mariah Stovall
This title was previously available on NetGalley and is now archived.
Send NetGalley books directly to your Kindle or Kindle app
To read on a Kindle or Kindle app, please add email@example.com as an approved email address to receive files in your Amazon account. Click here for step-by-step instructions.
Also find your Kindle email address within your Amazon account, and enter it here.
Pub Date 13 Feb 2024 | Archive Date 01 Feb 2024
Set in the suburbs of Los Angeles and New York City, I Love You So Much It’s Killing Us Both is an immersive journey into the life and mind of Khaki Oliver, who’s perennially trying to disappear into something: a codependent friendship, an ill-advised boyfriend, the punk scene, or simply, the ether. These days it’s a meaningless job and a comfortingly empty apartment. Then, after a decade of estrangement, she receives a letter from her former best friend. Fiona’s throwing a party for her newly adopted daughter and wants Khaki to join the celebration.
Khaki is equal parts terrified and tempted to reconnect. Their platonic love was confusing, all-consuming, and encouraged their worst impulses. While stalling her RSVP, Khaki starts crafting the perfect mixtape—revisiting memories of formative shows, failed romances, and the ups and downs of desire and denial—while weighing the risks and rewards of saying yes to Fiona again.
One song at a time, from 1980s hardcore to 2010s emo, the shared and separate contours of each woman’s mind come into focus. Will listening to the same old songs on repeat doom Khaki to a lonely life of arrested development? Or will hindsight help her regain her sense of self and pave a healthy path for the future, with or without Fiona?
ADVANCE PRAISE FOR I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT’S KILLING US BOTH
Named a Most Anticipated Book by Elle, Nylon, Goodreads, Electric Literature, The Millions, and Zibby Mag
"Nostalgic yet fiercely relevant . . . this book is a coming-of-age treasure." —Lauren Puckett-Pope, Elle
"An emotionally perceptive debut." —Keziah Weir, Vanity Fair
"An ode to growing up and letting music guide you . . . A captivating play on friendship, anxiety, and the beauty of music." —Adam Vitcavage, Debutiful
"A powerful testimony to the enduring violence of harmful relationships and the profoundly difficult task of recovery." —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
"The rhythmic and lyrical quality of Stovall’s writing parallels the underlying playlist of punk music . . . This poignant tale explores illness, the role of music in one's life, and the blurred lines between friendship, sisterhood, codependency, and love." —Booklist
"The penetrating story of an erstwhile friendship . . . Readers will find plenty of rewards." —Publishers Weekly